The Grey Lord of the Sith
by Atruya
Summary: An amnesiac scoundrel finds herself in a galaxy at war. Hunted by the Sith, exploited by the Jedi, she refuses to acknowledge either of them and chooses her own, grey path. Drawn to beautiful Bastila she finds a new purpose in her life: master the Force, end the Sith threat and get the girl. Because a scoundrel bows to no one. KotOR retelling with GSF Revan/Bastila femslash, fluff.
1. Prologue: A Warm Welcome

**Disclaimer:** KotOR, its characters and story aren't mine.

**Rating:** Mature for sexually tinted content, violence and profanity.

**Author's note:** What if Revan wasn't a Light Sided Jedi Knight who fell to the Dark Side at the end of the Mandalorian Wars? What if she never embraced either of those sides, but had always treaded a neutral path? This is the core idea behind this rewrite of Knights of the Old Republic, make Force Wielders something else then either Angels or Demons. There will be some twists to the lore and game to remove some of my annoyances and spice things up. The focus lies on the development of and between characters and – of course – entertainment.

With that said, enjoy reading my take on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Suggestions, critique and reviews are always welcome!

* * *

**Prologue**

**A Warm Welcome**

* * *

"Lieutenant Grey." The rear admiral saluted Xana, a gesture which she didn't return. The black-haired woman was a scoundrel at heart and didn't take it so close to regulations and navy etiquettes. It often resulted in being harshly reprimanded by a superior, but frankly she couldn't give a damn.

"How's it hanging, Coleman?" she greeted casually.

Coleman was used to her behavior and grinned. "Tell me, why haven't I fired you yet?" he asked while studying the no-bullshit woman with an amused smile. The two had too much of a history for him to ever give her the sack.

She gave him a non-committed shrug. "Probably because that little pussy Boyd would be the one to replace me." The rear admiral rolled his eyes, he probably agreed that that would be disastrous. "Besides, things would be rather bland and boring without me."

"You definitely have a way of spicing things up. At ease, by the way," he added with a hint of sarcasm. "But I'm afraid we're going to be bland and boring for at least a little while. You're being reassigned. Congratulations, Grey, you're leaving this 'dreary shithole', as you so colorfully describe this ship."

Xana grinned, revealing perfectly white and straight teeth. "It has a nicer ring to it when I say it. You don't add in enough venom."

"That's because I can't bring myself to offend this beautiful ship." The rear admiral was grinning as well, he wasn't such a bad guy like most of his colleagues. "But I'm a bit jealous here, Grey. You're being assigned to a famous Jedi Knight."

"Oh?" This piqued Xana's curiosity. She watched her superior intently with her bright green eyes. "What does a famous Jedi Knight want with a sad fuck like me? Failed as a pirate, gotten my head blown off in an explosion, barely survived but with my memories gone and now with a shitty job as lieutenant for the Republic Navy."

"You forgot being ugly as a Hutt," Coleman added with twinkling eyes. Xana couldn't help but grin again. If she had gotten a credit every time a man had asked her what such a beautiful woman was doing in the navy, she'd be able to buy her own cruiser right now. Her pitch back hair, natural olive tan and bright green eyes gave her an exotic look. Despite the brutal training she had gone through, she had managed to retain her feminine curves. The toned muscles couldn't quite ruin the fine shape of her body, with ample breasts, a slim waist and firm butt. She also radiated authority, thanks to the sharp lines of her face, perfectly straight stance and piercing eyes.

"Well, there's that too," she smirked. "So, what does he want from me?"

"_She_, actually. The Jedi Knight is Bastila Shan. You know, the one leading the strike team that defeated Sith Lord Revan. You should be honored."

"You still haven't told me what she wants from me, Coleman." Xana knew of Bastila, of course. After losing her memories she had wasted no time to read as much as possible about recent history and the knight had an important place in it.

The rear admiral sighed deeply and gave her a thoughtful stare. "The Jedi Order is closed shut tighter than an asshole. They love to shroud themselves in mystery, so I have absolutely no clue what they want from you. Perhaps they need your linguistics. Is there even a language you can't speak?"

The lieutenant scratched her chin. "Hmm, can't think of one so quickly." It had been one of the shocks she faced after waking up, being able to understand and speak most modern languages. "Can't be the reason they want me, though. I'm sure a protocol droid could be programmed for much more forms of communications than me."

Coleman nodded. "Perhaps they've picked up on the fact you're a natural born leader, able to persuade even the biggest pussy into battle. Between you and me, those whimsy magic weavers could use someone with a backbone. Would've ended the Mandalorian Wars much earlier." He sighed again. "Ah well, can't change the past. Maybe they're just interested because you're a polymath… there's no skill you can't or don't want to learn."

Xana smirked deviously. "You give me too much credit there, Coleman. There _are_ some skills I don't want to learn. By chance they all involve my mouth and that piece of meat you guys piss through."

Coleman barked a loud laugh. "Then be happy you'll be serving a female Jedi instead of a male one. Although I doubt there'll be much mouth-on-meat action, even for a looker such as you. They swear celibacy through that Code of theirs."

The grin of Xana only widened. "Makes them all the more depraved for attention."

"Yeah, yeah. I just hope I won't have to attend your funeral in the next few days. Anyway, I simply don't know what they want from you. You will get a full briefing aboard the _Endar Spire_."

"That's the ship I'm reassigned to?"

"Yes, it's a hammerhead-class cruiser under the command of Jedi Knight Shan. You better behave, Grey. I don't have to tell you how a recommendation from an honored Jedi Knight would look on your curriculum vitae?"

"Indeed you won't, _sir_." Xana grinned slyly. Finding out just how devoted this Jedi was to her pathetic Code was going to be a great sport.

* * *

Xana had imagined Knight Shan to be quite a beautiful woman. She didn't know why, but it somehow fitted the image she had of the safe keepers of the galaxy. So when she first met her new commander she was pleasantly surprised.

Knight Shan was beyond beautiful. She was a fucking angel, she was. Shoulder length brown hair that was stylishly knotted up on several places. The face of a queen, with lush, full lips. Big, silver eyes that seemed to penetrate the soul. And a body to die for. Lean, toned, proper breasts and a firm butt, covered up by tight fitting brown Jedi robes that only accentuated those lovely curves. Bastila Shan was – without a doubt – the most beautiful woman Xana had ever seen.

As silver eyes met green ones Xana felt a strange connection. Something tingled in the back of her mind, like she knew this woman from before. Somehow she knew this woman deserved deep respect, but she couldn't quite pinpoint why. This was a woman not to be crossed, so much was clear to her. Staying on her good side should be top priority; she mentally scolded herself to watch her mouth.

In shock she realized what she was thinking. Xana Grey didn't show respect to anyone, surely not some pathetic Jedi girl that was at least three years younger than herself. Xana Grey was a scoundrel at heart and everybody else just had to accept that. Everyone but this woman, or so it would seem.

"Lieutenant Xana Grey?" The Jedi's voice was deep and melodious, a pleasure to listen to.

"Correct ma'am, at your service." Xana saluted the woman. _She fucking saluted the woman_. She didn't even salute to the admirals of her own navy, and here she was, straight as an arrow, showing respect to this Jedi whelp.

"At ease, lieutenant," the Jedi nodded, while cocking a curious eyebrow. Perhaps she had heard of Xana's total lack of disrespect for authority. She probably wondered why this notorious steel-eating bitch was saluting her like a bootlicking marine. "I am Jedi Knight Bastila Shan, commander of this vessel, the _Endar Spire_." Her face had returned to being neutral and distanced. "My Order has sent me to investigate the current unrest at Taris. We have been receiving reports of increased Sith activity. From your record I understand you have mastered a number of languages, including Mando'a, Binary, Huttese and Shyriiwook?"

"Correct ma'am, those are among the few languages that I understand and speak." Xana felt uncomfortable under the Jedi's gaze. Somehow she had the idea that Shan possessed a very deep understanding of her, an understanding that went far beyond simply reading her record.

"Excellent. Those skills will be invaluable for our mission. You will receive a full briefing once we arrive at Taris. Until then you are free to use all facilities this ship has to offer. If you have no more questions, Ensign Ulgo will show you to your bunk." The Jedi gave her new lieutenant a small smile and Xana felt like she was hit by a brick wall. This woman was simply stunning, the most gorgeous human being in existence. She could feel her insides melt and was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to impress the Jedi Knight.

She took a step forward towards the Jedi and stood up straight as an arrow. "Ma'am, I'm completely at your service. I hereby swear to protect you with my life, if you ever find yourself in danger." What the hell was she saying? She was a fucking pirate, not a white knight.

"Oh?" The Jedi chuckled and gave Xana an amused smile. For a brief moment her cold appearance melted away into a warm and welcoming one. "I will accept your promise and hold you to it, although I hope it will never come to that." The sound of that chuckle was like music to Xana's ears and the sight of that smile made her lose all sense, all caution. Fuck regulations, she _had _to know what chances she had with the brunette.

"If you ever require anything, do not hesitate to call me." She gave the Jedi a sly wink as she stepped closer. She bent forward to be able to whisper in the ear of the slightly shorter brunette. "And I mean _anything_. Don't worry, I won't tell your Order you bent their rules a little to have a bit of… Sapphic pleasure."

Bastila took a step backward and considered her with a very cold stare. Xana's eyes widened as she realized what she had just done. In her foolish trance she had crossed the line. She felt deeply embarrassed and sorry for her actions. "I apologize ma'am, I was…"

"Ensign Ulgo," the Jedi interrupted coldly. "Please show the lieutenant to her bunk." Bastila turned on her heels and strode out of the room, leaving behind Xana, who felt aghast. So much for dating the lovely brunette.

* * *

Flight Commander Onasi seemed rather interested in his new colleague. He was leering at Xana like a horny schoolboy. Not that she wasn't used to the stares, after all there weren't much beautiful women serving for the Republic. If it wasn't for that failed raid, she wouldn't have either.

In her previous life Xana had been a scoundrel, a pirate. She had flown the universe on a small frigate, raiding bigger ships to make a living. She had been the leader of a small crew, who had all died on that one fateful day. They had raided a big vessel which was supposed to be carrying some very valuable cargo. Turned out they were explosives meant for the war. Trying to obtain explosives using explosives isn't a very bright fucking idea. Blown herself and her entire crew to smithereens, or so she was told. When she woke up she was at a high-security Republic hospital and had lost all memories.

After her revalidation and a lot of psychological tests, they decided to give her a second chance. Allowed her to enroll in the Lieutenant-program of the Republic. As a scoundrel she had no intention of serving under the Republic, but this program was one of the best in the universe. The opportunist side of her decided the skills learned during the prestigious training would be invaluable in her line of work. Not to mention it would help her get back into proper physical shape much faster.

She decided to complete the program and then bail out of the Republic as soon as possible. Her great skill and quick learning ability had made up for her total lack of respect and she had breezed through the program. After becoming a lieutenant she had served under Read Admiral Coleman for a while, until her reassignment to the _Endar Spire_.

Xana had made up her mind after making a fool of herself in front of her new commander. She was going to leave the Republic. Taris was a city covering an entire planet, easy to get lost in. Once she had the chance, she would quietly slip away and start a new life with the skills she had gathered. As an added bonus it would safe her from the leering of fools like Onasi.

She smirked at his adolescent behavior. "Eyes up here, flyboy."

"Ah, sorry about that," he said quickly, looking flustered. "Please forgive my unprofessional behavior."

"It's not like you've got a chance with her, Fleet," Trask said coldly. "She was mighty interested in our lovely Lady Jedi." His voice betrayed spite and contempt.

"Got a problem with that, don't you?" Xana asked dryly.

"I do. It's unnatural, filthy and defies everything we fight for."

"Trask! The Lieutenant's preferences are none of your concern," Onasi reprimanded.

Xana merely shrugged. She was used to the hateful comments about her sexuality, as the Republic was full of homophobic zealots like Trask. One of the reasons to leave them as soon as possible.

"Forgive me, flight commander. I merely wished to state my disgust for having to share my bunk with this filthy whore."

"Careful, Ensign." Xana's tone had become quiet. This guy was quickly getting on her nerves and if she snapped she wouldn't stand in for herself.

"For what? A dyke who tries to worm her way into her commander's panties on their first meeting? I have no respect for you, because you deserve none. You are less than the steel beneath my feet."

The black-haired lieutenant barked a loud laugh. "And what makes you think I want your respect, ensign? You're nothing but a carefully honed tool, indoctrinated to do the biding of your masters, blindly following their orders and adhering to their morale. Wanting the respect from a soldier is like wanting the respect from a blaster pistol. Why don't you grow a pair and develop a mind of your own, before judging me about my innate sexuality and whining about things like respect." Force, how she hated these military dogs, who thought they had it all figured out. She nodded curtly to Onasi and stepped out of the bridge, heading for her bunk to get some sleep.

* * *

_Dark Lord of the Sith Revan was standing on the bridge of her flagship. Her entire appearance was dominated by the black robes that loosely hung around her body and the blood red mask covering her face. The Jedi strike team approached the Sith Lord, led by Jedi Knight Bastila. Her angelic face stood cold and determined as she approached Revan. She dropped into her fighting stance, her team moved forward to attack._

* * *

With a groan Xana awoke from her nightmare. It had been the third night she had gotten this dream. It was not that she minded dreaming about her commander, but why had it to be nightmares? Why couldn't it just be regular wet dreams that she could use to enjoy herself with later that day? And why the hell did she dream about the defeat of Revan, an event which she absolutely had nothing to do with? She had wanted to ask Bastila about her dreams, but she hadn't seen the woman ever since their first introduction. Xana shrugged, the Jedi was probably still angry with her.

Later that day Xana spotted the two Jedi women that were part of Bastila's team. Maybe they would know where the boss hung out. "What's up ladies?" she said confidently as she approached the pair. They looked at her like she was a dirty speck on the floor. It didn't bother her to the slightest, the only person she had ever shown respect to – for some unknown reason – was not present. "Do you know where I can find your boss? Got an issue I wish to discuss with her."

"Want to stare at her breasts a bit more, do you?" one of them said coldly. "Knight Shan is a very busy woman. She currently has no time to see anyone, certainly not a rude, perverted marine such as yourself."

Xana rolled her eyes. "Knight Shan has made it abundantly clear she has no interest in me. I have no intentions of either leering or making another move at her. What I _do_ want is to know why she's imparting crap in my brain."

The other Jedi cocked an eyebrow. "Feeling special, huh? You're just a marine. Trust me, Knight Shan wouldn't waste time or energy to probe around in the mind of a grunt like you." The woman took a step forward to stand inches in front of Xana. They were about the same height and her brown eyes stared into Xana's intently. "You stay away from Bastila, grunt," she whispered dangerously. "She upholds the Jedi Code, which means she will never get involved with anyone. That includes you, how high you might think of yourself. If you ever bother her again I will make you regret it."

Xana didn't back down. "Did the Force take away your fucking hearing?" she asked venomously. "I already said I knew what my chances of fucking your lovely boss are. I just want to know why she's slipping images into my mind."

The Jedi wanted to say something, but was interrupted by a cold voice. "What's going on here? Lieutenant Grey, what are you doing with my Jedi?"

Xana quickly took a step backward in shock. "Ma'am, this isn't what it looks like. I…"

"I don't care, just leave them alone." Bastila was looking at her with a cold look, full of contempt.

Xana glanced at the Jedi, who smirked wickedly and gave a quick wink. The lieutenant wanted nothing more than to scold her to oblivion, but she knew better than to act on her impulses. Bastila's patience was running thin already and she wasn't eager to face the wrath of a trained Jedi Knight. She sighed as she stepped away. "My apologies ma'am. It won't happen again." She left the area with three pair of Jedi eyes stinging in her back.

* * *

_A red lightsaber clashed with a yellow one. Jedi Knight versus Sith Lord. Frozen beauty against burning terror. Bastila moved graciously, lightsaber dancing around her like it was second nature. Revan merely moved to deflect, lightsaber close to her body but always looking for openings. To strike using the Force. To blast, to choke, to electrocute, to torment. The Dark Lord cared little about fancy swordplay. Why bother when you can bend the greatest power in the universe to your will, use it to channel all your killer intent towards your opponent. Revan was a viper, waiting to strike._

_An explosion, confusion, pain. Images started to blur, yellow and red overwhelmed the image. More explosions sounded. Lasers fired._

* * *

For a moment Xana was floating between dream and reality. Her eyes flung open and she sat upright in her bed. The explosions were real, the _Endar Spire_ was under attack. She darted towards her footlocker and quickly got dressed in her combat suit with stealth field generator. Twin blasters and her dagger were holstered and she quickly grabbed some stims she kept close.

The door opened before she could reach it. Trask, the greasy motherfucker, stepped through. "Grey, the Sith are infiltrating this ship. We must get to the escape pods."

"Figured that out all by yourself, did you?" Xana asked dryly.

"Fucking hell, Grey! People are dying here, we must work together if we want to make this through."

"You mean _you_ need _my_ help to make this through," the lieutenant spat. "Whatever, Trask. I'm getting the fuck out of here. If you want to tag along to improve the chance of your survival, be my guest. As long as you keep your fucking comments to yourself this time."

"I really wonder what the Jedi sees in you," the blonde mused. "Sure, you got a nice file. Able to speak most current alien languages, a charismatic and persuasive personality and a frightening amount of skill. All signs of a good leader. But in reality you're just a filthy dyke with an attitude from here to Dantooine."

"The fact that you're a useful grunt is what is keeping you alive, _soldierboy_. Why don't come with me so you can put that big, throbbing blaster to use, hm?" He might be a homophobic asshole, he still was Xana's best bet to get off this vessel. He knew how to use a blaster and he had seen combat before. She took his silence for agreement and nodded into the hallway. "Take point."

The corridors were filled with Sith troopers slaughtering Republic marines. Xana watched it all with cold distance, she cared neither about the Republic nor the Sith. Both were fools misguided by their governing officers. That didn't mean she didn't kill every Sith in her way. Self-preservation was her philosophy, she'd do anything to live to see another day. It had helped her until now and it would continue doing so in the future. Not blasting Trask's brain all over the walls after his insults was one of the small sacrifices made to improve her odds of survival.

A familiar sound reached her ears, the sound of lightsabers clashing. The sound that haunted her dreams. Part of her hoped to find Bastila, but instead it was one of the knight's underlings, the cunt that had laughed Xana in her face earlier. Just another puppet for the Jedi Council. She was dueling with a dark Jedi. Xana smirked to herself; this whole light sight versus dark sight thing highly amused her. Both were following false philosophies that were meant to restrain them, to use them as a tool, a weapon. Fairytales to make them obey, make them kneel to their puppeteer.

Light won from dark, but light's euphoria didn't last for long, as she was killed by an overcharged power conduit. This caused another smirk from the scoundrel. No matter if you were light or dark, a well-placed jolt of electricity would end your misery either way. After checking to see if Trask was still able to fight, they continued onward. Through the bridge, which had been occupied by a large group of Sith troopers. Trask's skill with the blasters together with her own stealth made short work of them.

Out of the bridge into another hallway. A bald dark Jedi was approaching them through a corridor. This time there was no light Jedi to defend them. An idea came to Xana's mind. "Trask, engage that guy with a vibrosword, I'll try to sneak behind him to slit his throat." The grunt did as he was told. He mindlessly grabbed his sword and ran through the door to attack the Jedi. Xana barked a cruel laugh as she closed the door behind Trask. She effectively disabled so it could no longer be opened, not without brute force anyway. That would buy her enough time to reach the escape pods. "Sweet dreams, Trask," she whispered darkly as she turned to leave. "See you in hell."

* * *

Reaching the escape pods was a piece of cake. There were no more dark Jedi in her way, just more Sith soldiers. Onasi had decided to bore her with his advice over the comm. He meant well, but it was annoying nonetheless. Using her stealth field she slit the throats of some Sith assholes. Further on she repaired and reprogrammed a droid to protect her. She also hacked a terminal to blow up a power conduit in the next room, wiping out a large group of hostiles. She allowed the droid to finish the rest.

"You're the last one alive," Onasi said as she reached the pod room.

"What about Bastila?" she inquired.

"She has already left in an escape pod," he answered. "Come on, this ship is disintegrating. Get in the pod so we can get out of here." Xana did as he told and quickly entered the last remaining pod. Onasi crawled inside after her and closed the hatch. When he was seated and strapped in he pressed the release button. With massive force they were slung away from the _Endar Spire_. The last thing Xana remembered before passing out were the strong vibrations caused by entering a planet's atmosphere.


	2. The Road is Closed

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter One**

**The Road is Closed**

* * *

_When you look at me, young Lady Jedi, what do your grey eyes see? Do they see a fallen Jedi, seduced by the lure of the Dark Side, hungry for power? Do they see a broken woman, a lost soul, desperately clinging to the last shred of humanity left in her after the assassination of all those Mandalorians? Do they see a Dark Lord, a cruel being with a burning hatred for everything that lives? A Sith Lord who finds pleasure in tormenting those around her? Bending the Force to indoctrinate commoners, control armies, topple governments?_

_Or perhaps there lies more wisdom beneath the steel of your eyes. Perhaps you see me for what I truly am. The true reason why I took up the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sith. The real purpose of the Jedi intervention during the Mandalorian Wars and the brutal annihilation at Malachor V. Perhaps you may even see the necessity of the Jedi Civil Wars. _

_What are you, Jedi Knight? A mere puppet of your cruel Council? Or have you seen beyond the false mantras of your Order?_

* * *

Xana Grey awoke with a massive headache. Stinging surges of pain pulsed through her brain as she sat up in the strange bed. The room she found herself in was dimly lit. It was an apartment of some sort, with two beds, a small kitchen bordering a living area and a workbench pressed against the wall. Onasi was standing in the kitchen and heaved a relieved sigh when he saw her waking up. He rummaged through the cupboards for a moment, then approached her with a small paper box and a glass of water.

"Glad to see you awake, instead of trashing about in your sleep." He handed her the box, which turned out to be painkillers, and the glass of water. "Thought you could use some of these."

"Thanks," she mumbled. With slightly shaking hands she took four pills out of the box and swallowed them in one go, flushing them with the water. For a moment she closed her eyes and felt the fluid and medicine doing their job. When the worst sting eased she took another look at the room, before looking up to the flight commander. "What happened?"

"The _Endar Spire_ was boarded by Sith troopers. We managed to escape in a pod, which crashed in Taris' Upper City. You were knocked out by the impact, but luckily I wasn't. Pulled you out and into this abandoned apartment. I checked you up and don't think you've sustained any further injuries."

Xana nodded. Stiffly she got out of the bed and did some stretches. Aside from some sore spots she didn't feel anything serious, so she figured she got lucky. "How long have I been out?"

"The whole night. I've done some investigating, but haven't found out much about the location of the other marines. Many pods have crashed in the Lower City and some even further down, in the Undercity."

"That's wonderful Onasi," Xana said absently minded. She found her gear neatly folded up on the floor and started to dress. When she was fully dressed and armed she turned to the flight commander. "Well, good luck with that Onasi. I'm out of here." She wanted to head to the door, but was stopped by Onasi's hand firmly taking hold of her shoulder.

"What do you mean good luck with that? Where are you going?" he inquired with a cocked eyebrow.

Xana turned around to face him. "Listen chief, it was never my intention to actually _stay_ with the Republic. I detest them, just like I detest the Jedi Order and the Sith. If you want to continue sucking admiral-cock, please be my guest. But I'm fed up with being told what to do and right now is an excellent opportunity to bail. So the best of luck to you, I hope you'll find what you're looking for."

She wanted to turn and leave, but Onasi wouldn't let her. He held on to her shoulder tightly. "Wait a second, you can't swear an oath to serve the Republic and bail out when things get a bit difficult. Our comrades need us."

The Lieutenant merely shrugged. "Can't see why not. I nearly got my ass sliced in two by a blood red lightsaber, thanks to the Republic. Piss-poor repayment for all my efforts, don't you think?" She pushed Onasi's hand away and headed for the door.

"What about Bastila?" came Onasi's silent words. Xana stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide in shock. "I thought you liked her. I thought you've sworn to protect her." His words hit home, one by one. "Right now we have no idea where she is. Maybe she is captured by some local gang. It's not hard to overwhelm a knocked out woman you know, even if she's a Jedi Knight. Force knows what they're doing with her right now."

Xana felt her hands trembling, her stomach made a quick roll when she thought of the beautiful woman being abused by gangsters. She might be an inflated Jedi, acting all high and mighty, but she still was a fragile little thing. And Xana _had_ sworn to protect her. Sure, she had sworn to serve the Republic as well, but this was different. _Bastila_ was different. You can't just tell a woman you will protect her and then leave her in the hands of petty criminals. Besides, she still had thousands of questions to ask the woman, both about her visions and the strange respect she felt for her. She had the feeling Bastila Shan knew more about her past.

She turned around to face Onasi. "Listen here, mister pilot. I'm going to keep my job as lieutenant for a little while longer. But as soon as we have established that our Jedi Commander is safe, I'm out of here. Capisce?"

He breathed a relieved sigh, but eyed her with suspicion. "I don't know what to think of this, Grey, but I don't think I have another option. I guess I should be glad you've seen reason?"

"Oh, you won't be so glad once you get to know me," Xana said with a dark look. "Let's get things abundantly clear, flyguy. _I_ will be the one in charge of this 'mission'. I will be the one doing the talking and calling the shots. You just shoot where and when I tell you to. Understood?"

The guy looked a bit taken aback. "Err… alright? Guess you're trained for this sort of thing."

"You've got that fucking spot-on. And you are trained to take the wheel and follow orders. I'm glad we've established our roles here, helmsman."

"While I have no trouble following your orders, can I at least make one request?" He gave the scoundrel a mocking respectful look.

The lieutenant grinned deviously. "Well, I guess a good leader would listen to the requests of her inferiors, so I'll allow you one. Just _one_ mind you, soldier boy. Well then, flydude, what is it you want"

"Please call me Carth, for Force's sake!"

* * *

Xana had just wolfed down the breakfast Carth had bought and was now sipping on a mug of coffee. Her headache was settling, giving her the opportunity to go over the things she knew about Taris and what Carth had learned during his short investigation. It was an urban planet, the entire landmass was cultivated into one big city. Taris had a strong caste system, which directly translated in the layout of the city.

It was build up by layers. Carth and she were currently somewhere in the Upper City, the top layer. This was where the rich and privileged lived. Nobles, politicians, the middle class… all living comfortably in their little paradise on top of the world, under the direct light of the star. Underneath their feet, hidden away from view, lay the Lower City. As it didn't get as much natural light as the higher parts it was inhabited by the poorer folks. The working class, commoners, but also gangsters and criminals. And underneath all that, at the very surface of the planet, lay the Undercity. A rotten cesspool of urine and shit, inhabited by the poorest and saddest scumbags. Outcasts, prisoners and the lowest of gangs, all living together with mutants and beasts.

Carth had a strong suspicion that Bastila's pod had landed down there, in the Undercity. Every politician, nobleman and their brother would want a piece of a Jedi Knight. Not to mention the Sith, who had established control of Taris. They'd go absolutely mental if an enemy was found deep within their territory. None of that was happening according to Carth, meaning the city wasn't yet aware of the arrival of a Jedi. It troubled Xana; Bastila found herself caught between on one side and the Sith on the other.

Xana wondered why she worried so much about the coldhearted Jedi Knight and couldn't give herself a satisfactory answer. She cursed her amnesia and pondered if she had ever met the knight before. Her mind came up with nothing, causing her to growl. The ice queen had a lot to explain to her, but that meant finding her first and getting her to safety, like she had sworn to her.

Her eyes shot to Carth, who was cleaning his blasters at the workbench. "You almost ready to leave, Onasi?" As per his request she had stopped giving him nicknames, but she didn't respect him enough to get on a first name basis.

"Hold on, Grey, let me put these things back together."

As he continued working her mind turned inside again. Carth had found out that Taris was surrounded by the bulk of the Sith fleet. It had the planet in lockdown, completely blocking all traffic going in or out. Xana didn't know the fleet's goal, but didn't feel very comfortable with the amount of firepower hovering over her head. This place might not be so great to get lost in after all. She had to get the hell out of Taris, somehow avoiding the blockade. With a sigh she realized she might need the help of both Carth and Bastila to achieve something like that, which meant being bound to the ice queen's command for a while longer.

After Carth was done and all geared up, they left the apartment. No sooner had they stepped out of the door, or they met with trouble. A bit further up the corridor a few Sith officers were harassing some aliens. Quickly she grabbed Carth by the arm and started walking the other way. "What are you doing?" he hissed. "It looks like those Sith are going to kill those aliens."

Xana nodded. "Exactly. No need for us to become witnesses."

"What the hell, Grey? Do you want to leave those guys to die?" Carth sounded utterly shocked. Once they were out of sight Xana pushed the pilot against the wall and looked him intently in the eyes.

"In case you haven't figured it out yet, we're in deep shit. Republic marines in Sith territory, we could be shot every minute. Our top priority is keeping a low profile. Trust me, telling Sith officers to stop bullying some aliens will achieve just the opposite. Besides, we don't even know these aliens, who knows what they've done to anger the Sith." As Carth wanted to make a comeback they heard shots firing. The dull sound of limp bodies dropping on the floor followed, coupled with the hoarse laughter of the Sith.

"We could have prevented that," Carth said grimly.

"By killing Sith officers," Xana rebuked. "The only better way to make our presence known is by walking into a Sith base and showing them our dog tags."

Carth considered that for a moment. "Maybe you're right."

"I _am_ right," she answered curtly. "Trust me, I'm a pro when it comes to staying alive. Let's keep going."

The apartment block housed a number of homes, all connected to a circular hallway. Xana quietly slipped into each house to search for credits and other valuables. White knight Carth had something to say about this of course, but the lieutenant managed to silence him. Even Carth had to admit they needed the credits right now, for either supplies or bribes.

One of the apartments wasn't empty. It was inhabited by a woman and she wasn't exactly thrilled by Xana's sudden appearance. "What are you doing?" she screamed while pointing a vibroblade at the intruder. "You can't just barge into other people's homes."

Xana quickly held up her hands as a sign of peace. "Ma'am, I am terribly sorry to frighten you like this. I can assure you it was never my intention and I apologize deeply for my ill behavior. Why don't I just quietly leave and we all pretend this never happened?"

The woman looked a bit surprised at the eloquent woman. "I… you aren't one of Holdan's mercenaries?"

"I'm afraid not. Might I ask who this Holdan is, and why he would send mercenaries after such a beautiful woman such as yourself?"

She smiled weakly at the compliment, but collapsed in the couch. Clearly she was very exhausted and deeply troubled by something. Xana sat next to the woman and wrapped her arm around her shoulders to comfort her. "Holdan is… he is one of Davik's dogs."

"Davik?" The name didn't ring a bell.

"Davik Kang? The Exchange's local crime lord?" The woman eyed Xana like she was daft.

"Truth to be told, ma'am, I've just arrived in this part of the city."

"Please, call me Dia." She gave the lieutenant a weak smile. "Well, Davik owns all crime around these parts. Holdan thinks he is protected by his status of top dog. The slimy bastard tried to… tried to…"

As Dia's voice broke Xana pulled her closer against her. "But he didn't succeed?" she asked gently.

Dia sniffled. "I cut him with my vibroblade and scared him off. Hurt his ego, of course. He has put a bounty on my head… I've been hiding here from the bounty hunters ever since."

Xana looked at the woman as she processed that information and for the briefest of moments considered killing the woman and collecting the bounty herself. But seeing the broken woman she just couldn't do it. She was fairly open-minded when it came to making a quick cred, but she wouldn't sink that low. "If I ever run into this Holdan I'll try to talk some sense in him."

"You'd… you'd do that?" Dia asked uncertainly.

The raven haired woman gave Dia a warm smile. "I have a thing against men who think they're superior to women and can just use them as they please. Someone has to make him realize he has to be a good little boy and behave."

"But… he's with Davik and Davik is part of the Exchange. You might get in trouble as well."

Xana smiled wickedly. "Then I'll just have to make him feel so ashamed that he would never talk to _anyone_ about it."

"You are a very brave woman." Dia stared the other woman in the eye, clearly deeply impressed. "He usually hangs out in the cantina in the Lower City. That's also where Zax the Hutt has his bounty office. But you might not be able to get there, not with the current lockdown."

"There's a lockdown?"

"Rivalry between two local gangs has spun out of control. It's an all-out war down there, so the Sith have closed all entrances to prevent it from spreading to the Upper City."

Xana gave Carth a quick glance, who returned with a troubled look. This was bad, they had to go to the lower parts of the city if they wanted to find Bastila. "You reckon we could sneak by them?" she asked the other woman.

Dia shook her head. "Not a chance, each entrance is guarded around the clock by a solider. Please don't try anything foolish on my behalf." She actually looked a bit frightened.

With another squeeze and a warm smile Xana reassured the woman. "Don't worry, Dia. I intend to live on in freedom for a very long time. But if I find a way around the lockdown and happen to come across the prick that tried to hurt you, I'll make him regret putting a bounty on your head."

"Thanks," Dia whispered. "I don't know what I've done to deserve this, but thank you. For your listening ear and kind words."

* * *

Carth turned to her when the apartment door shut close behind them. "So, we can't help a group of aliens being slaughtered by the Sith, but we _can_ help a young, pretty lady who is being harassed by some gangster?"

Xana cocked an eyebrow at the pilot. "Tell me, when did you hear me say I was going to help this woman?"

"I… you mean you lied to her? You aren't going to find this Holdan and make him lift the bounty?" Carth sounded extremely offended.

"You fucking deaf, mate? I told her I would talk to Holdan _if I ever ran into him_. As much as I like to help Dia, I'm not going out of my way to find the sad bastard. Time is of the essence here, with that bloody Sith armada above our heads." She started walking again and Carth tailed behind her. "It has been a good chat either way, we've learned a lot about the situation here."

On that the pilot had to agree. "A lockdown of the Lower City. That will give us some trouble."

"And don't forget the Exchange," Xana reminded. "Things can get proper dangerous if those bastards operate here. We have to watch our step on two fronts: don't piss off the Sith, don't piss of the Exchange."

It _did_ give Xana a bunch of opportunities though. The Exchange was a wealthy organization, they might have a ship capable of outrunning the Sith fleet. Perhaps she could do some mercenary work for them, to get back in business. After earning their trust and building her reputation they might let her catch a ride to Nar Shaddaa or some other backwater planet. With the cash she earned she could get a crew of her own again.

The pair left the apartment complex and was now standing outside, among the many skyscrapers. As she turned to Carth she caught him staring thoughtfully at her. "Something up?" she asked.

"Wha…?" The question caught him off-guard. "Yes, of course something is up. My ship has been blown up and I've lost a lot of colleagues and friends. And now I'm stuck here on this Sith infested planet looking for my commander with the help of an…" He looked alarmed as he realized what he was about to say.

"A what, Onasi? An opportunist scoundrel that will bail out the first chance she'll get? Don't worry, I've promised to protect Bastila. I _will_ protect her, if only to give her the chance to answer some of my questions. If you tag along I'll return you safely to your Jedi Mistress before bailing. You can trust me on my word."

"Yeah well, I don't trust people."

Xana heaved an exasperated sigh. "Let me guess, this is where we find out you've been horribly betrayed by someone you trusted your life with. And now you're locking yourself up in your grief and shunt all attempts at friendship."

"Something like that," he said with sad eyes. "Look, I don't want to talk about it. You want to help me find Bastila? Great, awesome, thanks for your help. Let's get to it so you can betray the Republic with the satisfaction of having done a good deed."

"I don't do good deeds, Onasi."

"Then why help Bastila?" he asked darkly. "Not to burst your balloon, but Jedi Knights live in celibacy, so she won't reward you with a hot night between the sheets. And don't give me that bullshit of giving your word. The word of a scoundrel means very little in my book."

"I'm not a woman to make light promises. Certainly not to Jedi Knight." She stared at a faraway skyscraper and heaved a deep sigh. "But you're right, there is more to it." She turned to look at Carth and decided to open up to him a little bit. "When I first met with Bastila, something strange happened. I felt a weird connection, like I somehow know her from before."

He gave her an uncertain look. "But you've never met her?"

"No, not that I know of. I mean, not after I lost my memories." The pilot had read her file and was aware of her amnesia. "But after I met her on the _Endar Spire_, I started having dreams, nightmares really. Visions of Bastila defeating Revan."

"That's… strange indeed." Carth contemplated on her words quietly. "Maybe it has something to do with the Force? They say it can do strange things to a mind, terrible things even." The scoundrel merely shrugged, not knowing enough about the Force to respond to his suggestion. "So that's why you want to find Bastila? To ask her about this connection?"

"Yes, that's the main reason." A small grin appeared on her lips. "Though I still have hopes of getting her in my bed someday."

Carth couldn't help but laugh at her sudden joke. "You could hope for universal peace and have a higher chance of it happening."

Xana laughed as well and gave him an amiable smack on the shoulder. "Maybe, maybe not. We won't find out if we keep standing here for the rest of our lives, so let's get moving."

* * *

A quick visit to the Equipment Emporium rewarded them with a bit more information about the situation. The owner told them the escape pods would all be scavenged right now, either by the Sith, one of the swoop gangs or Davik's men. She also mentioned that things had gotten worse ever since the Black Vulkars took over control from the Hidden Beks. The Beks were pretty alright as a gang, but the Vulkars were just brutal. On top of that the Exchange was an ever looming threat, always lurking in the background, cleverly avoiding the Sith. It gave Xana a pretty good idea of what she would be facing in the Lower City.

After buying a few supplies they left the shop and headed for the cantina. It was surprisingly busy at this hour of the day. At the entrance was the Pazaak Den. Carth offered to play a few hands to increase their credits, which gave Xana the opportunity to scout the cantina out on her own. Some very interesting words reached her ears as she headed for the bar.

"…will just take our uniforms to the party. No need to head back to the Sith base to…"

The noise in the cantina drowned the voice again, but Xana had heard enough. She turned around to find the source of the voice and quickly spotted a young woman. A grin formed on her lips as she realized she had just found her way through the Lower City lockdown. The woman was currently talking to a male colleague and Xana decided to wait till she was alone.

She did a quick round through the cantina. A fat Hutt was sitting in a separate room, which turned out to be the gambling zone of the duel arena. Fighting in the arena would be quick cred, but it would also draw attention to her and potentially wound her. Neither was an option right now, as time and discretion were of the essence.

As she entered another separate part of the cantina, a young woman approached her. "Finally someone to take my order," she said in a very bossy voice. Clearly part of nobility. "I'll have one of my regular drinks. Now hurry up girl, shoo!"

Xana noticed a few eyes staring at her and she didn't want to cause a ruckus. But she wasn't about to let this girl boss her around either. "You must've mistaken me for someone else, I'm no waitress."

"Preposterous!" she exclaimed loudly. "You just wait until my father finds out about your insubordination! He will get you fired, he will." Many eyes were now turning in their direction, Xana had to act fast before things got out of hand. With a sly grin she stepped close to the woman.

"I'm terribly sorry, ma'am," she said in a sultry but submissive voice, quiet enough so no one would overhear. "I've seen the way you were looking at my body. Perhaps I could join you in your bedroom tonight and make up for my… insubordination. I'll do everything you want me to, _mistress_."

The mouth of the noblewoman fell open and her face turned a deep scarlet. For a moment she couldn't find words and was looking like she was going to choke. Finally she pulled herself together and turned on her heels, leaving the cantina with her nose high in the air. Xana couldn't help but chuckle. _Crisis averted_.

The rest of the cantina held nothing of interest, so she decided to tackle the girl with the uniform. If she was going to take it to a party, Xana had a high chance of stealing it. She wouldn't be wearing it at the party, as it would be rather hard to have a drink with a full facial mask. Alcohol raised her chances and she figured it was worth giving it a shot. Xana eyed the woman from afar, she was alone and looking extremely bored. The lieutenant approached the barmaid. "Hey, you got any idea what that girl over there likes to drink?"

The barmaid looked at the girl Xana was pointing at and grinned. "Think you have a chance huh?" Her eyes hovered over the lieutenant for a moment and she nodded approvingly. "_You_ might just make a chance… if you bring her a Flameout."

Xana smirked. "I'll have two please."

With two drinks in hand Xana approached the redheaded woman, who actually looked rather pretty in her opinion. With a small smile the lieutenant offered the redhead one of the drinks. "Aren't you a bit too pretty to be sitting here alone without a drink?"

The redhead watched her in surprise and she took in the stranger for a moment. Then her face softened and she accepted a drink. "The men here are such swines, they'd never offer a woman a drink."

The raven haired woman grinned. "That's why I never bother with men. Our own gender is so much easier on the eye, anyway. Certainly such a beautiful Sith soldier such as yourself." She gave the woman a small seductive smile, without overdoing it.

"That's Sith _officer_ actually," the woman said, but not harshly.

"Sorry, ma'am." Xana grinned sheepishly. "I'm just a simple spacer's daughter, I have no idea of such military stuff." The woman's brown eyes hovered over Xana's combat suit and she cocked an eyebrow. "God-ugly thing, I know," the scoundrel said innocently. "Father makes me wear it. Thinks there is a trigger-happy madman lurking behind every corner. I know he means well, but he goes a bit overboard in my opinion."

"A spacer huh?" The officer seemed to be losing interest. _Not good. _Time to start stroking her ego a bit, officer's usually loved that sort of thing.

"Yeah, it's pretty boring, always being locked up in his small freighter. Sometimes I think about joining the Sith as well," she said while giving the redhead a deeply impressed look. "It must be so thrilling, to be one of their officers. Certainly on such a lively planet as this."

The redhead looked a bit embarrassed at the woman's awed stare. "It's not as exciting as you might think."

"Not?" Xana looked surprised. "But someone like you, with both the looks and the skills, must certainly get all the nice jobs, right?"

The redhead's chest swelled with pride from the compliment and she looked pleased with herself. She gave the innocent, cute spacer's daughter a bold look. "Well, they indeed trust me with the most important missions. I've made myself irreplaceable, so whenever they want to make sure an assignment succeeds, they ask me."

"Wow," Xana said in awe. Her eyes grew wide in admiration and the officer visibly felt her self-esteem rise. So she liked the shy, submissive kind. Time to step it up a notch. The scoundrel started to nervously twitch a bit with a coy smile and gently stroked the back of the officer's hand. "You must be really something. I bet you got all the beautiful girls at your feet."

"You're the first one, actually. To be honest I never thought I was into girls, until I met you." She started to stroke Xana's cheek and the arousal became clear in her eyes. "So… what did your father call his beautiful daughter?"

"X-Xana, ma'am." The scoundrel's eyes darted nervously around the redhead and her cheeks and ears started to turn red.

"Xana? That's such a wonderful name." Her voice had turned low and sultry and her hand made its way down to Xana's neck, which she stroked with a silky touch. "My name is Sarna. Say Xana, I'm going to a little party tonight. Just me and some other Sith officers drinking together, without our superiors knowing about it. Want to join?" Her fingers started to play with the collar of the combat vest, trying to work their way under it to feel the skin beneath.

"Really?" Xana looked up, coy, nervous and honored that the important officer would ask a simple spacergirl like her out. "I would love that, Sarna!"

Sarna smiled confidently. "Great. It's held at ten at the apartment block just north of here. Follow the music." Her fingers darted back up and cupped Xana's cheek. Her confident and aroused smile widened as she leant in and placed a gentle, lingering kiss on the scoundrel's lips. "Can't wait for the afterparty," she whispered in Xana's ear, before turning around and leaving the cantina.

From her place behind the bar, the barmaid gave her the thumbs up. Some other spectators were leering at her, while grinning widely and joking with each other. It didn't matter, that uniform was as good as hers. Sarna was about the same height and build as Xana, so the fit wouldn't be a problem. As she made her way to the exit she smirked to herself. Maybe she would even have a nice shag to boot.

"Yo Onasi, let's get out of here." The pilot looked up and spoke a few words with his pazaak partner before standing up and heading for the scoundrel.

"Why are you grinning like mad?" he asked in surprise.

She led him out of the cantina before explaining her plan to Carth in a low voice.

* * *

Carth and Xana were making their way through the busy streets of the Upper City when they came upon a pair of thugs harassing a merchant. Xana wanted to ignore them just like everybody else did, but Saint Carth had different ideas… once again. "Hey, we can't just let them beat up that poor man, can we?"

Xana stopped dead in her tracks and silently counted to ten. When she was confident it was safe for her to speak, she turned around to face the pilot. "Tell me Onasi, why can't we just let them beat up that poor man? We are currently doing just that, and it doesn't seem to impair us in any negative way." She made a wide gesture at all the other pedestrians. "In fact, all these people are just letting them beat up that poor man and they all seem fine to me."

"Yeah, but we're better than that, aren't we? We have the power to stop them."

"And what exactly do you think we will we achieve?"

"Save him from a beating, perhaps?"

"Alright, alright." Xana heaved an exasperated sigh, before tapping one of the thugs on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir, my colleague here would like to know why you are beating up that old man."

The guy looked a bit surprised at the question, but answered nonetheless. "The fucker owes Davik Kang credits. We are here to collect, be he won't pay."

The scoundrel nodded once. "Excellent sir, you all have a fine day." She turned to Carth and pulled him with her into the crowd.

"What the hell, Grey. They'll beat him to death!"

Xana grabbed the pilot by the arm and pushed him down a small bench. "Sit down, shut up and listen." Carth wanted to say something, but was shut up by a murderous glare from the scoundrel. His jaw audibly shut close. "Good boy. Why aren't we chasing those thugs away? We could, right? Of course we could, quite easily in fact. But what would we achieve with it? The merchant certainly won't be helped, because he still owes a mobster a sum of money. They'll just come back to collect the debt later. You want to become his personal bodyguard and protect him for the rest of his life? You're free to do so if you wish, but I don't have the time for that.

"And what would _we_ achieve?" she continued. "Well, _you_ will feel good about yourself, glad that you've done a selfless good deed. But then you're forgetting something important: you have pissed of some of Davik's men. Sure, they are low on the criminal ladder, but that doesn't mean they don't answer to a superior. They're going to have to explain why they weren't able to collect. They'll give detailed descriptions about us to their officers. The officer will go after us, probably with violence. We'll be forced to kill him. What do you reckon will happen when we kill a mobster's officer? A mobster that's part of the Exchange?"

"I… I get your point."

"Good, then I suggest you shut up from now on and follow my orders." The scoundrel gave the pilot a grim look. "You've got to think about the consequences of your actions. You could blindly help every poor soul on this godforsaken planet and be destroying more then you're healing."

Carth stared thoughtfully into the distance. "There is wisdom in what you say," he reluctantly agreed. "Perhaps I shall not be so quick to offer aid in the future."


	3. Saber

**Book One – Revelations**

**Chapter Two**

**Saber**

* * *

Staring at the ceiling wasn't her favorite occupation. Certainly not when realizing what was behind it, thousands of miles above Taris' surface. The Sith fleet floated up there, locking the planet in a tight quarantine. No way in, no way out. The thought made Xana nervous and slightly nauseous. She had intended to take a nap in their lend apartment, but sleep wouldn't come. Too much shit going on in her mind, with a certain Jedi beauty taking precedence.

Together with Carth Onasi she had fully explored the local parts of the Upper City. They had kept to the general area where the escape pods had crashed. All of them had been scavenged dry, no doubt by the Sith. Their search had come to a standstill due to the lockdown of the Lower City, which they couldn't get past until Xana had nicked Sarna's Sith uniform later that night.

A visit to the local doctor had given them some more Intel about the situation in the Undercity. Horrid mutations ran rampant there, horrors going by the uplifting name _rakghoul_. A contagious disease caused humans to lose all sense and shape. A serum had been developed to cure the disease, but it was in the hands of the Sith. The fuckers kept it to themselves to protect the patrols they regularly sent down. The doctor would be able to reproduce the serum if he got his hands on a sample, so everyone could benefit from it, not just the Sith. Xana told the man she would keep her eye open for it, but made no commitments.

Just as they wanted to leave the medical facility, the doctor's assistant approached them. Apparently Exchange Boss Davik Kang was also mighty interested in the cure, offering a fair sum of credits for it. Much higher than the doctor could offer. Xana told him she might think about the offer. They could absolutely use the credits and bringing Kang the cure would improve her standing with the Exchange.

The idea of joining this criminal organization still lingered somewhere in the back of her mind, it would be a great stepping-stone to something greater. The Exchange was perhaps the most influential organization, having a firm hold of all sorts of crime all over the galaxy. Perhaps she'd sell the cure to Kang and take whatever what was left of it to the doctor. Making civilians needlessly suffer wasn't really her style, but her own career took precedence.

With a sigh she rolled over and looked at the vibrosaber on the floor. They had found it while scavenging the northern apartment block and Xana had decided to keep it. She had a knack for fighting with a saber, as she had discovered during her Lieutenant-training. The smooth moves came naturally to her, she had probably used a similar weapon in her previous life, before her amnesia. It was a good weapon, perfectly balanced and sharp as a razor. Carth had been surprised when she started swinging it around in perfect motion, he clearly hadn't pegged her for the close-combat fighter. His idea of a scoundrel was a coward that struck from afar, preferably from the cover of a stealth field. _Her_ idea of a scoundrel was an opportunist that struck from behind, preferably from the cover of a stealth field.

Her mind wandered to the gangs of the Lower City. Her eyes hovered over her own combat suit and Carth's ugly, flimsy jacket. Were they properly prepared to face the swoop gangs? The Sith troopers? Davik's men? Probably not, but the problem was money. They simply couldn't afford better equipment, better shields and better blasters. Or one of those utility droids she had seen in a droid shop. It was infuriating, sitting here in the apartments and not being able to do anything. The Upper City didn't have many opportunities for quick cash. Her only option was the arena, really…

The arena… Normally she wouldn't get involved in pissing contests, cockfights or fancy swordplay. Her eyes returned to the saber. _But why the hell not?_ Sure, it would draw some attention to her, but would that really be so bad? Maybe she would even be able to impress the Exchange and improve her odds of a job. And maybe a fresh arena champion would be able to convince one of the swoop gangs to lend a hand in finding Bastila. They knew everything that was going on down there, so it would speed up their search and potentially save the young Jedi from further harm.

Sitting and waiting in this apartment was boring anyway. Xana wasn't one to sit still. She looked at the time, one o'clock. The party would be at ten. Why waste nine hours here when she could make a quick buck and a solid reputation? With renewed determination she rose from the bed and grabbed her vibrosaber. Carth gave her a lazy look from his place on the couch.

"I'm going to challenge the arena."

"You do that," he said in a faraway voice. "Wait… what? The arena? Grey, have you absolutely lost your mind?"

"I've lost my memories, not my mind. But I will if I spend any more time in this moldy apartment. Listen Onasi, we're going to need some proper equipment if we want to survive in the Lower City. For that we need money and fighting in the arena is a quick way to make some."

"But what if you get killed? What about our low profile?"

"I'm pretty sure you can't get killed in an arena fight. Fights to the death have been banned for ages. And about our low profile… I've changed my mind. It might not be such a bad thing if we get noted by one of the gangs."

Carth cocked an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

"It's a war down there, Onasi. We may have to join one of the gangs to be able to continue our search for Bastila."

"J-Join them?" the pilot stuttered. "Grey, I will _not_ join a gang. Period."

"Would you rather face all gangs on your own? One against the world is pretty low odds." Xana stared thoughtfully at the pilot. "Besides, you heard Kebla, didn't you? From the Equipment Emporium? She said the Hidden Beks weren't such bad guys."

"Look, I can understand why a former criminal like you would want to join a gang, but I can't condone it."

"Listen Onasi, we'll discuss this once we've checked the situation down there for ourselves." Carth's childish viewpoints of good and evil were starting to annoy the lieutenant. "I'm just saying it couldn't hurt building a bit of a reputation. Gaining respect is incredibly important when facing gangs. If you're a nobody they'll just chew you up and piss on your corpse. And these swoop gangsters know everything that's going on down there. It might help us find Bastila faster."

"Alright, alright. I see your point. And we could use the money. Just… be careful alright?"

Xana smirked confidently. "Sure , I'll be careful." Her smile widened. "Although I know your opinion of 'a scoundrel's promise'."

* * *

"Mister Hutt!" Xana approached the fat Hutt with a confident stride. All around the room heads turned to see who was causing the commotion. "This little arena of yours, I'll become its champion." She stood in front of him, straight as an arrow with her hands folded behind her back. A poised grin curled around her lips. People started to whisper to each other and the scoundrel spotted a few offended looks.

"Hum, hmm," the Hutt grunted lazily. "Hmm, what was that now? I think I haven't heard correctly."

"Oh, there is nothing wrong with your hearing, big guy," Xana said loudly. "I said I will become the champion of this arena. Who's my first opponent?"

A blonde woman with aggressive features approached her. "Listen here, _kitten_. You probably took a wrong turn somewhere, the whore-zone is in the other wing."

In a single, fluid motion Xana drew her saber, made a stylish twist around her axis followed by a slash at the blonde's throat, stopping half an inch away from the skin. The woman's blue eyes grew wide in shock. "Great, so you're my first opponent," the scoundrel grinned. "Fuck me, you're quite the looker. You sure you're able to fight in the ring? Not scared of ruining your mascara?"

The blonde kicked Xana in the stomach, making her stumble back and groan. The other woman drew her sword. "Same could be said about you, _bitch_. This is a battle ring, not a catwalk."

"Ladies, please," the Hutt soothed. "Save the fighting for the arena." The blonde sheathed her sword again and walked away with one last murderous look at the newcomer. The fat Hutt chuckled, making his entire fat body twist and tremble. "Ah, that Ice. Always so easily provoked." He stared a long time at the black-haired beauty that had entered his den. "So… you want to fight huh? I must admit, you've got balls. And it seems like you know how to handle that saber. Yes, you can fight in my ring, if you still want to."

Xana smiled brightly. "Of course I still want to, who's first?"

"Hum, hmm. First of all we'll need to give you a stage name. Hmm, something catchy."

"Err… a stage name right?"

"Yes, you're going to need one. Let me see… Yes… A newcomer with an attitude. Where did she come from? Why is she challenging my arena? Hmm… Yes! I will call you… The Mysterious Stranger. It suits you perfectly. A person without a past, without history. You will seem like a big mystery, the people will like that."

An awkward silence filled the room and everyone stared at the Hutt in utter disbelieve. Ice grinned wickedly at the newcomer and gave her the finger. Xana watched it all in disgust, before turning back to the Hutt. "The Mysterious Stranger? Could you get any more retarded? I won't let you ruin the records of my glory with your awful tag, hell no."

"Hmm, hum, ho now, it is a fine name."

The raven haired woman folded her arms stubbornly. "It's not. It's gay."

"So are you," Carth reminded her.

Xana rolled her eyes. "That's beside the point. I want a better stage name."

"Hmm, what did you have in mind, young human?" If the Hutt had been offended by the woman's dislike of his cleverly invented name, he didn't show it.

"Err…" Xana had to think hard about that one. She looked down to the weapon in her hand and suddenly got it. "Call me Saber!"

"Hmm, what? Just Saber?" the Hutt asked.

"Just Saber," Xana confirmed.

"Very edgy."

"Shut your trap Carth, if making bad puns is all you can do."

"Ho hmm, Saber. I like that name," the Hutt said approvingly. "It has a nice ring to it."

"It sucks just as much as the other one," Ice snorted from the back of the room.

"Yeah, because _Ice_ is such a well thought out one," Xana mused, rewarding her with another murderous glare from the blonde.

"Very well then, Saber," the Hutt said in his imperturbability. "Are you ready for your first duel?"

"Hell yeah, bring it on."

Ajuur the Hutt quickly explained the rules of the duels. None of the duels were to the death, a special system prevented the fighters from mortally wounding each other. If she won, she would gain ten percent of all bets placed. If she lost she could just get the fuck out of his arena. Fair enough. Her first opponent would be Deadeye Duncan, some old man that was nearly blind. Xana knew better then to underestimate the guy, as had been deeply imparted into her mind by her drill sergeant. Still, he looked like a big pushover to her.

As Xana made her way to the entrance of the ring, she was stopped by Ice, the blonde duelist from before. Her complexion was pale and even her lips seemed to be a bit blue, like she was actually frozen. Her deep blue eyes still had that murderous light in them. "Listen close here, _Saber_. If Duncan doesn't cut that cute little face of yours to shreds, _I_ will be the one to do it."

"My, my. You are quite the feisty one," the scoundrel mused. "Why so hostile? Why can't we all be friends?"

"Because _fuck you_, that's why." The blonde turned on her heels and marched away. Xana stared at Ice's back for a bit longer, before continuing on to the arena with a smirk on her face.

* * *

"_Ladies and gentlemen! I draw your attention to the dueling ring. Two combatants will battle for your viewing and gambling enjoyment. Today we have a very special presentation in store for you. In this corner stands a man who has been fighting in this arena for years. You have seen him lose night after night. I give you… Deadeye Duncan._

"_In the other corner stands a complete newcomer to the Taris dueling scene. She is certainly beautiful, but is she also deadly? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Saber!"_

Xana couldn't help but grin foolishly. The entire crowd craned their necks to get a better look at the supposed beauty. A few moved over the gambling terminals to place their bets. The scoundrel saw it all with silent satisfaction, the more bets placed the more she'd make.

"_One more minute to place your bets, Ladies and Gentlemen. Spent your coin wisely, but plenty!"_

Her eyes turned to Duncan. An old man. With a sword. And impaired eyesight. _Right._

As she stroked the handle of her vibrosaber, her mind went back to her lieutenant-training. _Never_ _underestimate your enemy, no matter what a pathetic, cock-sucking son-of-a-bitch it might be. You fucking hear me Grey? I don't care if it's a fully armed marine, Sith Lord, child or your fucking grandmother. If it's out to kill you it __**will**__ find a way to do so, no matter how pathetic the attempt might seem. When faced with a threat you will take it serious and remove it with caution, without mercy. Am I fucking clear, Grey?_

Oh, he had been clear. Her eyes returned to Duncan. A male with the ability to carry a sword. A fucking sharp sword, probably. And he had years of experience in the arena, where she had none. _Caution, Grey_.

"_The betting is closed. Ladies and gentlemen, please make yourself comfortable to enjoy this spectacle. Combatants, prepare."_

Duncan eyed her in utmost concentration, his hand hovering over the handle of his sword. Xana did the same.

"_Fight!"_

The entire arena lit up and Xana could feel a strange tingling against her skin. This must be the special dueling system that protected the fighters from critical injury. When she overcame the first shock, she saw Duncan already approaching her with weapon in hand. The crowd was cheering.

She drew her own saber just in time to parry Duncan's first attack. It was clumsy with little power behind her. With a twist she pushed Duncan's sword away and followed with a quick slash of her own. The old man managed to parry it, but he let his sword slip from his hands. With a dull clunk it fell to the floor. _No mercy._ Xana made a quick horizontal slash that would have severed his head under normal conditions. Fortunately for Duncan these weren't normal conditions and he merely dropped to floor. The entire crowd erupted in cheers. The scoundrel looked around sheepishly, unaware that it was already over.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Once again Deadeye Duncan failed to deliver! It seems our beautiful Saber is indeed quite deadly. But how will she fare against the heavyweights?"_

When Xana returned to Ajuur's wing of the cantina, some of the people gave her a small, polite applause. Ice was still looking murderous, but that was to be expected. The scoundrel gave her a happy wink and small wave, before making her way to the Hutt.

"So, tell me big guy, how much did I make?"

"Hmm, betting was a bit slow, as was to be expected. You get ten percent of all bets, which is 113 credits."

The Lieutenant accepted the money and gave the Hutt a sour look. "And there's no way I could persuade you to give the future champion a bit more?"

The fat Hutt laughed deeply at that, which once again sent disgusting waves through his obese body. "I like your confidence, but I can't do that. If you want to make more, you have to fight more."

"All right, big guy. Who's next?" Last battle wasn't exactly a tiring one, and the adrenaline was still coursing through her veins. She was ready for more.

The next fight was almost as easy as the first one. Gerlon Two-Fingers attempted to shoot her from afar with his blasters, but Xana was already on him before he could fire the first shot. He clumsily tried to draw his sword, but he was dead before it had left the sheath. Victory number two awarded her with 208 credits and a compliment from Carth, who had been watching her fight on the screens. He seemed very surprised by Grey's skill with the saber.

A certain blonde had had enough. Ice approached Saber like an incoming blizzard. "So you've beaten Duncan and Gerlon… big girl. This travesty ends right now, you fucking cunt. Ajuur, set up the match, I'm going to show this bitch her place."

The scoundrel merely smirked. "Can't wait, Miss Übermensch."

* * *

"_Ladies and gentlemen, have we got a treat for you this afternoon. Our newcomer isn't quite done yet, it seems like she wants to go for the hat-trick! But a certain cold-blooded menace wants to put an end to this sudden onslaught. Join us, as Frozen Beauty challenges Fiery Splendor!"_

Xana had to admit, the announcer did have a way with the crowd. All spectators were cheering loudly as the two combatants were introduced. Many were making their way to the betting terminals all around the ring.

The scoundrel didn't have time to enjoy the spectacle. Never before had she seen so much killer intent from a person, certainly not from a woman. Ice was simply radiating hatred. She wondered where it came from. Maybe she just wanted to remain the only woman in this dueling ring. Maybe she was afraid Saber would steal away all her groupies. Not that the blonde had much to fear in that regard. Like she would care about some sweaty bastards leering at you with their horny, beady eyes.

When the arena lit up, Ice immediately charged with her vibrosword. Her attacks were not the fastest ones, but there was incredible force behind them. Every time Xana parried it felt like she was being smashed by a sledgehammer. The scoundrel with her more slender build wouldn't be able to resist this violence for very long. She tried a few quick slashes, but Ice cleverly dodged them. It left Xana out of balance for a second, which Ice used to deliver a massive kick in her stomach. The scoundrel rolled backwards to get out of reach of the mad woman, and coughed violently.

"What's wrong, baby girl?" Ice sneered. "Losing your nerve now you are facing a real warrior? Should've become a dancer after all, to whore your body out to the nobles."

"And fighting in this arena in your tight-fitting suit isn't the same?" the scoundrel countered in a raspy voice, still recovering from the kick. "No matter how you look at it, people pay to see your body."

"You know nothing," the blonde grunted. With freshly refueled hatred she stormed towards Saber. Too much hatred, the scoundrel noticed, as Ice was getting blinded by it. The blonde tried to make a flying dash at her opponent. Had it hit, it would have cleanly split Xana in halve. But the clever scoundrel had quickly rolled out of the way and Ice harmlessly sailed past her. Xana was now behind Ice and her back was completely open. In all her might she stabbed the weapon in the blonde's exposed back. The safety system took over and Ice dropped incapacitated to the floor. Saber had won.

The crowd erupted in applause and Xana received it with a small smile and a sultry wave, before turning back to her opponent. She kneeled down beside her and rolled her on her back. "You okay, Ice?"

Her bright blue eyes flew open and she violently pushed Saber away. "You stay away from me!" She got to her feet and strolled out of the ring without ever looking back. Xana was a bit surprised by the woman's behavior, but decided to leave it be. It wasn't her job to relieve the silly insecurities of a defeated duelist.

Back in Ajuur's den the people genuinely applauded her. Ice was a respected duelist and by defeating her Saber had started to make a name for herself. Carth approached her with a big grin. "Damn Grey, you're good."

"Challenging the arena wasn't such a bad idea after all, was it?" Xana asked, while returning the smile.

"Hey, I didn't know you were _that _good." The pilot gave her an approving nod. "I have a bit more confidence in us finding…" He was about to say Bastila, but he corrected his mistake in time, "…succeeding our mission."

"I'm not the useless scoundrel anymore, am I?" Xana grinned.

"You should really reconsider leaving the R… leaving us. We could really use you on our side."

"Hmm, I doubt that'll happen. Let's just focus on our current mission right now, it's hard enough as it is."

She collected her earnings from Ajuur and went to grab a drink. As she sat down to relax a bit, she touched her abs. The safety system of the arena didn't protect against kicks, apparently. The muscles were still sore and with a low hiss she started massaging the tender flesh. As she was enjoying her drink and quietly talking with Carth, a nervous looking Rodian approached her. His eyes were darting all over the place, making the scoundrel wonder if he was on drugs. "You fight well Saber, you strong woman, stronger then Ice." His voice was high and squeaky like with all Rodians.

The scoundrel grinned. "Thanks budd, you a fan?"

"No. I'm the current champion. I will fight you today, after you beat Marl. Yes, Marl former champion. Beat him, you worthy to fight me." The guy just couldn't stand still, he constantly kept rolling on his heels and his entire body seemed to twitch and shake.

"Right... Say, I've never seen a Rodian high on caffeine before, what's your name?"

"Twitch," he squealed, before turning around and vanishing in the crowd.

"That Ajuur does have a way with naming his fighters, doesn't he?" Carth mused, as he watched the small Rodian disappear.

"Aye." Xana finished her drink and headed to the fat bastard for her next fight.

The fight with Marl was pathetically easy, although Lady Luck helped a bit. After a furious melee the guy had pulled back and tried to throw a concussive grenade at her. She wasn't completely sure what had happened, but somehow the grenade had landed on her knee, which had propelled it right back at Marl. Exploded right in his face. Damn hard to defend yourself when you are lying unconsciously on the ground.

After that fight Xana decided to grab a bite at the cantina. It was already seven o'clock, so it was time to serve the inner woman. Carth had disappeared into the pazaak den to try his luck again, leaving the scoundrel sitting alone at a small table with her plate of food.

A soft voice surprised her. "I… wanted to apologize to you." Xana looked up and saw the voice belonged to none less but Ice.

"Err… alright." She pointed at the empty chair in front of her. "Wanna have a seat?"

The blonde duelist sat down. "I've been acting like a cold-hearted bitch to you, I know. I thought you were just some young attention-seeking whore, like most girls who come to fight in our arena." She gave Saber a sheepish grin. "Guess I was wrong. You've defeated not only me, but also Marl. You really have skill and guts." Ice stared at her hands on the table for a bit, seemingly collecting all the humbleness she possessed. Then she looked Saber in the eyes. "I apologize for misjudging you."

Xana smiled from the genuine apology. She extended her hand towards the blonde. "That's quite alright. I'm not sure what I would've done when some loudmouthed bitch came into _my_ arena."

Ice returned the smile and shook the hand, looking relieved. "You _were_ incredibly obnoxious," she said with a grin. "So… you here to stay?"

The scoundrel shrugged. "Just passing through."

"Oh? Then why go through all this trouble? Trying to become the champion and letting the whole world know about it?"

The lieutenant thought about her answer for a moment. She didn't want to reveal too much about her goals, but didn't want to raise suspicion by outright lying either. "I've misplaced something in the lower parts of this city. I'm going to need the help of the gangs to retrieve her… _it_." _Stupid, thick cunt, can't you do __**anything**__ right?_

Ice smiled keenly. "She must be very special, if you're willing to go through all this trouble to recover her."

Bastila's face flashed through her mind. "She is," Xana admitted silently. "Anyway, I thought becoming arena champion was a good way to get the attention of the gangs. They rule down there, don't they?"

"Oh absolutely. The Sith have tried gaining a foothold for years, but the gangs still rule. If there's anything you want down there, they're your best bet. And yes, becoming arena champion will get their attention. But also that of Davik Kang and to a lesser extent of the Sith."

Davik Kang she didn't mind, but the Sith were another story. If the Sith got their hands on Bastila, they would inevitably try to turn her to the Dark Side to abuse her battle meditation. "I'll just have to be quick about it then," she smirked confidently. "So what about you? Why are _you_ fighting in the arena?"

"I've been asking myself that same question a lot, lately," the blonde sighed. "It has become a way of life for me. It was the only chance I had to get out of that shithole called the Lower City. In the arena I could make enough money and fame to be able to live up here."

"It's pretty rough down there, isn't it?"

"You honestly don't want to know," the blonde answered darkly, while getting back on her feet. "Get your girl out of there a.s.a.p., Saber. No one deserves to be lost down there."

* * *

"_People of Taris, come gather around! Today you may become witness of an event in Tarisian history of unmatched proportions. Just this morning a young woman came to our beautiful arena. A woman filled with confidence and the desire to prove herself. She declared right then that she would become the new champion of this ring!_

"_Many thought she was crazy. A maniac seeking attention. Until she started fighting. One by one they all fell to the weapon of this fierce beauty. Deadeye Duncan, Gerlon Two-Fingers, Ice and even the former champion Marl succumbed to her blade. And now, this evening, this woman will challenge the champion of this ring, for your viewing pleasure._

"_Ladies and gentlemen! I give you… Saber!"_

The entire arena went crazy. It was cramped with people and they were all cheering loudly at the newcomer. There wasn't a single seat that wasn't yet taken. Xana grinned as she saw the long queues for the betting machines. If this wouldn't get someone's attention, nothing would.

"_Tonight Saber is going to have a crack at our champion. He is crazy. He is without conscious. He is high on stims twenty-four seven. It is the Rodian we've all come to love. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for… Twitch!"_

The arena nearly exploded from applause and cheers. Twitch was running a few laps around the ring, apparently he had an abundance of energy to get rid of.

"_Have a good look at these two fine contenders and place your bets. We have extended the betting period by fifteen minutes, so you all get a chance to win!"_

Twitch continued doing exercises in the ring, while Xana was merely looking around, feeling slightly nervous. She was confident she could beat the small motherfucker, but there were a lot of people gathered here. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe it would only lower her chances of survival down in the Lower City, by turning all eyes on her.

Ah well, it was a little too late for second thoughts. Right now the best thing to do was defeating the twitchy little bastard to become the champion. And hope the Sith wouldn't do a background check on her and find out she was with the Republic. Serving on the _Endar Spire_. For Knight Shan. Who was a highly sought after individual because of her battle meditation.

_Shut your trap, Xana. There's no way they'll find that out._ To calm herself down she started doing her sword routines. With closed eyes she let the saber dance around her, quick slashes following cuts and strong strikes following backslashes. The crowd became absolutely mental from the control and speed Saber was showing. Even more people started to make their way to the betting terminals.

"_Dear people, the bets are closed. Please sit back, relax and enjoy the spectacle that's about to unfold. Combatants, to your corners! Prepare to pick up your weapons and fight. Fight! And dance with the Devil!"_

Xana felt the now familiar tingling of the skin and quickly drew her saber. Twitch was already firing salvos at her from his dual blasters. In a circular motion she approached him, making it hard for him to aim. A few bolts hit their target, but were reflected by her newly purchased shield. When she was at melee-distance, Twitch threw away his blasters and drew twin blades.

And rained down hell upon the scoundrel.

He was truly crazy, mowing his blades around like a complete and utter madman. There was hardly any force behind them and were barely aimed, but the sheer amount of strikes was frightening. Xana had hardly any time to parry them all. She tried to roll away from him, but he was too quick. The moment she got out of her roll, the small fucker was already on her again.

Fast, but fragile and full of openings.

Self-preservation wasn't really high on his list, neither was keeping track of his surroundings. He was only focusing on his opponent and hitting her as much as possible. It was time to be bold. _No pain, no gain._ She quickly applied one of her battle stims and the world immediately started to slow down. Numbed by the stims and adrenaline she moved in and kicked the fucker right in the chest. He had managed to land quite a few hits on her during her reckless move, but she was still standing while he was lying down and clutching his chest in pain.

She finished him with one single stroke, adrenaline and stims making her unaware of the exploding crowd around her.

"_Ladies and gentlemen! We have a new champion!"_


	4. Getting into her Uniform

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Three**

**Getting into her Uniform**

* * *

"Why do I have to act as your brother again?"

"Because Sarna thinks I come from a family of spacers. With your ugly mug and that awful jacket of yours you definitely look like one," Xana explained with a grin.

"I like this jacket, what's wrong with it?" Carth asked defensively.

"That's beside the point," Xana quickly said. "The point is that I'm not going into enemy territory alone. Force knows what might happen. Always take a backup if you have it. We're doing no one a favor if one of us dies or gets captured, least of all Bastila.

"While I definitely agree on that Grey… I'm less than happy with this. I'm a pilot, not an actor."

Xana smacked him on the shoulder. "Don't worry Onasi, your role is to sulk in the back and watch over your precious sister, while she enjoys a little party and does a little flirting. Leave the talking up to me."

"Alright, alright… But what will she say about your sudden arena victory, Saber?"

"Meh, she might sulk about it for a bit, but I'll talk her out of that," the scoundrel answered confidently. "Once she realizes her new plaything is quite the hero she'll come around. Have a little faith in my silver tongue." She gave him a reassuring squeeze in the shoulder. "Really, don't worry."

Carth sighed. "I don't like loose ends, Grey. Certainly not when so much depends on it. But if you're confident you can talk your way out of it… It's not like we have another option."

* * *

As they walked through the streets of upper Taris, Xana once again felt disgust for the elitism she found there. Nobles and politicians were living their rich and spoiled lives over the backs of billions of commoners, who were forced to live harsh lives in the Lower City. Whoever dared to oppose them was exiled to even lower regions, to the very bottom of the city. The place where all trash and filth from the upper parts slowly seeped down to. Banished to a life in the shit and piss of the nobles you had tried to talk sense into.

Not that this was exclusive to Taris. Everywhere the rich and powerful abused to common folk to become even more rich and powerful. Governments and armies were merely tools to that end. Take these Sith legions, perverted by Lord Malak to waste their lives to fight for a Sith-controlled galaxy. Even the Republic and the Jedi were used for control and indoctrination, no matter how noble the Jedi Masters made themselves out to be. In Xana's mind the Jedi Council was exactly the same as Lord Malak. Both were dictators, the Council merely one with multiple heads.

It was one of the reasons Xana was a scoundrel at heart. She refused to play the games of corrupted politicians. Never would she pay taxes to support this war, never would she do an honest job to support the further development of oppressed societies.

Her aversion of this place had her lost in thought so deeply that she hardly noticed where they were going. She merely followed Carth as he led the way into the northern apartment complex, through the dark hallway. When two Rodians walked past them, she absentmindedly greeted them.

_Mistakes._

A loud metallic clunk, followed by Carth dropping to the floor. It took a second for Xana to realize what was going on. A second too long. As her hand went to her saber to defend herself, some sort of mask was pushed over her face, followed by a hissing noise. As the distinctive smell of anesthesia filled her nostrils, the world started spinning around her. All power left her body and she dropped limply to the floor. She vaguely registered being hauled away by two forms, through the dark hallway and into a room. She fought against the black-out that was threatening to take over and managed to preserve just a flint of consciousness.

She was pushed in a sitting position against a hard, round object and they fumbled around with her hands for a moment. Once they moved away from her, she heard a female voice. "Very good boys. Tie up the gentleman that accompanied her and drop him in a dumpster somewhere. Then you're free to leave. Daddy will pay for your expenses, so shoo!"

Slowly the dizziness dissipated and power returned to her body. She found herself in a similar apartment as she and Carth used. It was empty from furniture and objects, which led her to believe it was abandoned as well. In shock she realized she was sitting against a sturdy vertical duct. Her hands were bound high above her head, cuffed to the duct over one of its horizontal supports. She tried to pull her hands free, but it only resulted in cold metal cutting into her flesh.

Her eyes turned to the brunette that had just closed the front door. "Ah, you're regaining your senses, very good."

Xana recognized her. "You… you're that woman from the bar." The woman that had mistaken her for a waitress and had made a big fuss about it.

"Gana Lavin, part of the mighty and noble Lavin family. And you are a pathetic commoner that needs to learn her place."

One of the nobles Xana so thoroughly despised. The scoundrel was smart enough to recognize this was not time for big words. She still felt a bit unsteady as she assessed the situation. It didn't take long to realize this woman was completely in control. The duct was too strong to break through, the cuffs wouldn't give way either and Carth was nowhere to be found. _Caution Xana, keep your big mouth shut for a few minutes. "_So what do you want, Miss Lavin. Apologies? Undo these cuffs I will gladly give them to you."

"No, no, no. That won't do," the brunette said with a superior smile. "That won't do at all. You'll just return to your old, primitive ways. No, I'm better than that. As your better it is my responsibility to take care of you. It is my duty to rehabilitate you, make sure you will never make the same mistake again."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" the lieutenant spat. The inflated words of this woman dissolved her caution instantly, as well as her patience. "You have no fucking right to keep me prisoner. Release me at once and I won't press charges."

The woman merely laughed. "Press charges? Daddy's lawyers will eat you alive." She approached Xana and picked up her saber. She eyed it with a wicked smile. "What would happen if I cut you with this, hmm? Would you be able to learn your place?"

Xana started to feel uneasy as she saw a strange glint in Lavin's eyes. This was bad… very, _very_ bad. She violently tugged at the cuffs, but they wouldn't budge. "What the hell are you thinking? _What the fuck do you want woman?_"

The woman kicked her in the stomach. "I want you to keep your mouth shut, you little pest. You should be thanking me for caring so much about you that I'm willing to do this. Do you have any idea how much trouble I went through to get you here?"

The scoundrel coughed. "Stop this, you cunt. I don't need the lessons of some stuck up noble." Another three kicks were placed in her stomach. They weren't exactly powerful, but the last one hit her liver. Immediately the organ released its venomous liquids into her system and an explosion of pain erupted inside her. Her body became limp and she sagged down.

Lavin took this opportunity to straddle Xana's outstretched legs and she started tugging on the zipper of her combat suit. "The hell… doing?" the scoundrel asked weakly.

When the zipper was fully open, she folded the suit as far open as her prisoner's bound arms would let her. With the flat of the saber's blade she started to stroke Xana's breasts. "You commoners are a pest, a disease. Your only goal in life is to make the life of us chosen ones as unbearable as possible."

"Chosen ones?" Xana uttered in disbelieve as she felt her breath return. "You honestly believe a spoiled brat like you was chosen to live a wealthy life? The only reason you're rich and noble is because you inherited it from your forefathers, who obtained their wealth over the back of us 'common folks'."

The woman gave her a sharp slap against the cheek. "Silence! I will not allow you to poison the memory of my brave forefathers with your tumorous lies. You've already hurt enough, by making a fool out of me in front of all those people. In return I shall now hurt you, to make sure you'll never try something like that again."

The Lieutenant could feel her blood start to boil. "You fucking bitch. Do you honestly think you'll get away with this? You're just a stuck up cunt with a fucked up perception of this galaxy. I'm not playing your games, bitch. Release me at once and bore someone else with your fucked up ideals."

The brunette chuckled. "Still not aware of the grave situation you're in, huh?" With a single stroke she cut open the bra. With her free hand she ripped the piece of cloth away and clenched one of the exposed breasts. She squeezed it painfully and played with the nipple with a finger. "Now, which word should I write in your flesh? 'Pest'? 'Disease'? Hmm." To put weight behind her words she lowered the sharp of the blade towards her soft flesh

Xana's eyes grew wide in shock. The strange glint in the brown eyes had become feral, crazy. Where the hell was Carth? As the noblewoman grinned wickedly above her, she did the only thing she could do now: screaming at the top of her lungs. "Help me! Someone help me!" Why had she and Carth be so careless? _Mistakes. _A firm hand was pressed against her mouth to silence her. The other smacked her flat on the cheek once again. It stung like mad, but she continued struggling on.

Lavin grabbed her by the hair and whispered in her ear. "You're free to go once I've marked you for life. Every partner you'll have will see how rotten you are." A sickening feeling nestled inside Xana's stomach as she looked into those malice-ridden brown eyes. These were no empty threats meant to simply scare her. These were promises born out of a deep hatred. A hatred that had developed during years of indoctrination from her family, from hearing the constant whispers of those despicable second-rate civilians.

How deep the mighty can fall.

An almost feral instinct overwhelmed her and she bit the hand covering her mouth, which Lavin immediately pulled away. "Carth, I am here!" she screamed. "Someone… please." In her desperation her mind turned to the woman she wanted here the most. "Bastila… please come," she whimpered as she was slapped in the face again.

_Calm down Xana._

Bastila? The scoundrel looked around the room, expecting to see the Jedi Knight there. She had definitely heard Bastila's voice. But where was she? Where the _fuck_ was she, damn it? As the cruel noblewoman loomed over her, she realized the Jedi Knight wasn't here, she _couldn't_ be here. Was she going crazy? Lavin picked up the saber again, and brought the blade down to strike… terribly slowly.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

The voice that came from the door surprised both women. They hadn't heard the woman enter. Yet there stood Sarna, blaster in hand. The redhead's eyes grew wide as she saw the two women. "Miss Lavin? What are you doing with that woman?"

The noblewoman looked flustered and quickly dropped the saber. She got to her feet and approached the redheaded Sith officer. "You will speak to no one about this, or you can say goodbye to your job. And any well-respected job in the future as well."

"O…of course, ma'am," the redhead quickly said. "My lips are sealed." Lavin dropped a small key on the floor and quickly left the apartment. The young officer turned to the cuffed girl. Her face darkened when she recognized her. "My, my. Look who it is. The 'spacer's daughter'. Or is it arena champion?" She closed the apartment door, placed the backpack she had been carrying on the floor and approached the scoundrel with a cold smile. "To be honest I've lost track. Xana? Or Saber? Or someone else completely?"

"Sarna, that woman just tried to torture me. You have to arrest her." Xana's mind was racing, if the Sith stayed there much longer Lavin would get away.

"Honestly, what kind of fool do you think I am?" Sarna spat as she made her way to the bound woman. "Her father owns half of the companies around these parts, you didn't think I'd arrest his precious daughter? Did you, Saber?"

Xana slowly realized what was going on. Sarna wasn't going to arrest Lavin, she was too afraid to do so. And judging by the arousal in her eyes she had different plans. "I... can explain this. Please release these handcuffs and I'll explain everything."

"What is there to explain?" the officer said darkly while straddling Xana's legs. "You thought you could seduce me into a quick fuck, didn't you? That's what your kind likes, isn't it? Go to a planet, steal and rape everything you can get your hands on, then quietly leave for another planet. Clever… no strings attached, no consequences." Soft fingers started stroking her cheek.

"That's not how it is. Not at all. Come on, release my cuffs… _please_."

"You fucking arrogant cunt." Sarna slapped her viciously against her already sore cheek. Slowly she started undoing the buckle of Xana's belt. "Thinking you could just have your way with me." The buckle came loose and her hands moved over to the fly of the pants. "Well, let's reverse the roles here, shall we? See how you like that." She violently pulled the pants and panties down to reveal her prisoner's genitals.

Xana could hardly believe what was going on. First a noblewoman had wanted to destroy her body and now this Sith was going to have her way with her. Her blood started to boil once again. "Keep your fucking hands off me."

"Or else?" Sarna ferociously groped the scoundrel in the crotch. Tears formed in her eyes as the pain surged through her. "Prepare for a long night, _Saber_, because I'm going to fuck you raw."

"S-stop that," Xana hissed through gritted teeth. As Sarna's fingers were trying to find a way inside, the scoundrel suddenly heard a loud clash, followed by the redhead falling limply into her. Carth came into vision, carrying a large, metal pipe.

"C-Carth, thank the Force."

He pulled the officer off her and quickly folded her suit close, to allow her some decency. "Are you alright?" he asked with eyes full of concern.

As relieve washed over her, all she could do was shudder. "G-g-get these cuffs off." She nodded towards the key lying on the floor. When he had freed her, Xana tried to zip her clothes close, but her shaking hands wouldn't let her. Carth stepped in to help her and before long all clothes were in the right place again.

"Grey… what happened?" he asked carefully.

She collected her breath and started talking with slightly quivering voice. "Pissed some noble's daughter off in the cantina this morning. Wanted revenge, tried to torture me. If it wasn't for Sarna, she might have succeeded." Xana nodded at the unconscious Sith. "She came in to investigate the noise, scared away the noblewoman. Then she turned on me, figured I had wanted to abuse her." Her eyes darkened. "She tried to rape me."

Carth wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "But she didn't," he said gently. "Come on, we must get out of here. Did she have the uniform with her?"

The scoundrel looked at the backpack that was lying near the entrance. "Yeah, probably." Carth quickly checked the contents of the bag, and nodded to Xana to show they got what they came for. That was a reassurance at least.

The pilot walked over the Sith officer and seemed to be struggling with himself. "You err… want to kill her, or what?"

Xana looked at him in surprise. "Kill her? Are you… okay with killing an unconscious woman?"

"Well, not really." He shifted uncomfortably. "But she's a Sith and she tried to… hurt you. I thought maybe you wanted to…"

Under normal circumstances Xana would've probably killed her without a second thought. But right now her mind was racing and she could hardly think clearly. "I can't… You decide what to do, my head's a mess."

The pilot gave her a concerned look. "Let's just tie her up and lock her in the closet then. It could take hours for her to be found, time enough for us to pass the guard at the elevator before news of a stolen uniform gets out."

Xana gave him a nod and Carth looked relieved that he didn't have to shoot the redhead. They quickly cuffed Sarna and further bound her arms and legs with strong rope they found in the apartment. To silence her they crammed a piece of cloth in her mouth and taped it off tightly. The body was placed in a large closet, with a lockable door.

"She could still die if we leave her in there," Carth said thoughtfully.

"At least I won't have to see her body then," the scoundrel shrugged. She also checked the contents of the backpack and was glad to find the metallic Sith armor. "We got what we came for, let's get out of here."

Carth picked up the backpack and they left the apartment. The scoundrel disabled the front door, so it could not be opened conventionally anymore. Her fingers had stopped trembling, but she still felt sick.

As they walked the streets of Taris, Xana informed how Carth had got away. "They left me for dead in a deserted alleyway," he answered.

The scoundrel cocked an eyebrow. "Their boss told them to tie you up, if I recall correctly."

"Yeah well, you know how hired thugs are. If they can get away with a half-assed job, they will do so. Which was our luck, in this case. They even left the pipe they struck me down with right next to me. I ran back into the apartment block and heard a ruckus coming from the one you were in. Apparently she had forgotten to lock the door."

The lieutenant slowly processed that information. She had been extremely lucky. She didn't want to think about what could've happened if the pilot hadn't showed up when he did. "A scoundrel's luck, eh?" she said quietly.

_Mistakes._ This wasn't a fucking walk in the park anymore, this was grim reality. Playtime was over, if they didn't start watching their steps more carefully, they might end up dead… or worse. She didn't want to die yet, certainly not when Bastila's safety still was in question. Her train of thoughts was interrupted by weird gibberish.

"Shou hav a nisje bjack tjere, orange guy."

"Why dontcha sjow usj watsj insjide?"

Three drunkards had approached them and were eying Carth's bag with greed. Xana snapped, she'd gone through enough shit for one night, she wouldn't allow these losers to ruin it even further. She grabbed the leader of the group by his collar and shot him a murderous look, which caused him to flinch. "Listen here, pig. We're on an important job for Dark Lord Malak himself here. Do you honestly want to end up against the wall, because you couldn't keep your hands off Sith property?"

"Err… no," he answered uncertainly.

"Then I suggest you and your friends move the fuck on, pronto." She pushed the guy away and the others backed off looking frightened. Xana strode past them, with Carth in her wake.

* * *

Back in their apartment Xana immediately started unpacking Sarna's backpack. There was a full set of Sith armor, complete with full-face helmet. She started unzipping her own combat suit to change into the uniform. Carth watched it all in concern.

"Are you sure you're okay? We could do this in the morning if you want to."

She shook her head. "We don't have time for that. I've wasted enough time today as it is. We need to find Bastila as soon as possible."

"While I agree that we are limited in our time, rushing down there with you in this state isn't going to do us much good." Xana continued taking off her combat suit, causing a desperate sigh from Carth. "Listen, you've gone through a lot tonight. I honestly don't think it's wise to…"

"Don't worry Onasi," she interrupted. "I can deal with a bit of emotional crap. I won't break down on you."

"I honestly don't understand why you and Bastila don't get along," he groaned as he realized he wasn't going to talk her out of this. "You're both stubborn and headstrong to a flaw." He was lost in thought for a moment. "At least let me make some warm milk for you. That will calm you down."

The scoundrel looked up to the pilot with a blank stare. "Warm milk?" An amused smile curled around her lips. "My, my. I hadn't pegged you for the family man. Wife and children?"

He looked away defensively. "I had a wife and a son," he answered quietly.

"_Had_? Oh… I'm sorry." For a moment she watched the somber pilot. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

Xana shrugged and continued dressing up in her new uniform. If the guy wanted to keep everything to himself, fine. Probing him with questions wasn't going to make him open up to her. He didn't trust her, which she could totally understand as she hadn't give him any reason to, with her attempts to leave him on his own on this hostile planet. But things were different, Carth had put his trust in her by accepting her as his leader, which meant she had a certain responsibility for his wellbeing. She decided she would be a listening ear for him and help him with his problems, should he decide to open up to her.

"They became victim of this war between the Sith and the Jedi, let's just keep it at that." He moved over to the kitchen, as to say this discussion was over. He indeed started to prepare warm milk, which caused Xana to chuckle for a bit. Carth made two mugs and they sat down on the couch to enjoy it. The guy had been right, the warm drink indeed had a soothing effect on her.

"Thanks for rescuing my ass back there, Carth," she said softly. "You did a good job."

The pilot looked a bit surprised. "You're welcome. But I was just doing my job… without you my chances of finding Bastila are rather slim."

"Found that out by yourself, didn't you?" Xana gave him a teasing grin.

"Hey, I'm just a pilot, scarred by the Mandalorian War and tainted by the Jedi Civil War. _You_ are an extraordinary woman with exceptional skill. I wouldn't be surprised if you'd make it to Fleet Admiral in a couple of years."

"I have no such ambitions," Xana laughed. "And you probably give yourself a lot less credit than you deserve. You don't become flight commander by just dicking around. Must've done something right during the wars."

"I did. But you're in a whole different league then me, Grey. You don't wait till the dust has settled. You pick up a problem and solve it. I have a tendency to be more… cautious."

"Yeah, I don't do bullshit." She watched the last bottom of her milk with a faraway stare. "Could use some of your caution, though. Would've made for a much more enjoyable evening."

"We were both careless back there," Carth objected. "It's time to… stop dicking around, as you say it."

"Uh oh, your first curse word," Xana grinned. "Just wait till we find mother Shan again, I'll totally tell on you." Carth laughed a bit, but the joke couldn't quite lift the grim mood. The events still weighed heavy on them. "You're right though, we must be more careful from now on." For a moment Xana was silent in contemplation. "If only I were a Jedi Knight as well… Would make this much easier." She shook her head and finished the last of her milk. "Anyway, let's gear up and head out. The sooner we're down there, the better."

From their winnings in the arena they had been able to purchase better equipment and aides. Carth slipped out of his old flight jacket and into a brand new battle suit. They only had the credits for one of such suits, so Xana had to do with her old combat suit. Furthermore they bought various grenades and mines, some security spikes, repair kits and first aid kits. They had spent most of their credits and the scoundrel doubted it would be enough to survive in the vile Undercity. They would have to find a way to make more credits down in the Lower City.

* * *

"Another patrol?" The Sith soldier that was stationed at the elevator sounded rather grumpy as he eyed the odd pair. "You'd reckon all those pods are empty by now."

"This fucker merc claims he has found another escape pod down there, unopened," Xana said just as moodily while nodding at Carth. "A hundred to one it's just another bullshit story, but the boss wants it checked out anyway."

"Tsk, sounds just like the Governor," the guard spat, while calling the elevator up. "You'd think if he had any potential he would've had his lightsaber by now… But no, he has to make up his lack of skill by stroking the ego of his superiors with valuable presents, this Republic bitch included."

"I know what you mean," the scoundrel grunted. "He'll do anything to suck Lord Malak's cock, except the sucking itself. That he leaves up to grunts like us."

The guard laughed behind his mask. "Hey, at least it pays the bills. It _does_ make you wonder what Malak is thinking… Lord Revan would've never put an ass like him in charge."

"Shows just how much he cares about this cesspool of a planet."

"You reckon he's gonna bomb it to shit, just like Telos?" The Sith sounded a bit uncertain. "Is that why the fleet is gathering around this planet?"

"Don't know," Xana shrugged. "I don't see the point really. If he wants to rule the galaxy, why blast half of it to shit?"

"Yeah… he wouldn't bomb Taris." At that moment the elevator arrived. He stepped aside so the pair could enter. "Can't say I can envy you entering the Undercity. Last time I went there I spent four hours cleaning my armor."

"If this all turns out to be a waste of time I'll just shoot this fucker's brains against the wall. At least that will give me some satisfaction."

"Fucking merc deserves nothing better," the guard said venomously. "Anyway, good luck down there." The door shut close and the elevator started its descent.

Xana finally dared to breathe again. "That went well," she smirked.


	5. Gadon's Deal

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Four**

**Gadon's Deal**

* * *

Impatience.

It was the only thing the Dark Lord of the Sith could feel when he watched the planet of Taris. He had done so a lot lately, standing on the bridge of his _Leviathan_. The panoramic window gave him a grand view of the sprawling city below, but it did little to ease his mind. More than once did he wonder why he still put up with the incompetence of his subordinates. Knight Shan should've been in his possession already, before she even got the chance to escape the _Endar Spire_. To ensure a successful retrieval he had even put his own apprentice on the case.

Impatience.

A trait he had adopted from his former master. Yet Revan could use her impatience as a catalyst to achieve her goals, transform it into a drive that allowed the skill of those around her to surge to impossible heights. He himself could only use it to destroy, to terrorize his underlings into madness. And bomb planets into destruction, or so it would seem.

"Lord Malak, you have called?" It was the voice of his apprentice, Darth Bandon. Malak felt his anger rise.

"This search for Bastila Shan is taking too long. It seems my legions here consist of merely layabouts and imbeciles." He turned around to face the bald man. "I'm putting you in charge of her retrieval. You have 48 hours."

"Understood, milord."

"Have your own apprentices search for any strong Force-sensitive prodigy left on this planet. Make sure they are evacuated in time."

Bandon studied his master keenly. "Evacuated in time? Milord, are you planning to destroy this planet?"

Malak turned around to look out of the window again. "You have lost much respect with your failure aboard the _Endar Spire_. Until you have redeemed yourself you have no right to question my orders. You are dismissed."

"Yes milord. I shall return with Jedi Shan."

The bald apprentice quickly left the bridge, while Malak continued staring at Taris. He had very little hope in the successful retrieval of the master of Battle Meditation. Bandon was an incompetent fool, just like all others. Turning Bastila to the dark side would be an incredible step forward in his conquest of the Republic, but it was not a necessary one. As long as she wasn't able to return to her Order he'd be content. And there was only one foolproof way to ensure that. He stepped away from the window to start making preparations.

It was time to transport everything of value off this disgusting planet.

* * *

The difference a two-minute elevator ride could make.

It had transported them from the fake purity of the Upper City to the grim reality of the real world. Here no one danced around their malicious intent, no one came up with fucked up lies to justify their criminal nature. Thugs were just thugs here, not nobles, not politicians, just sorry motherfuckers trying to survive. This was where Xana felt at home.

The cantina down here was a carbon copy of the one in the Upper City. Well, except for the filth and its occupants. Bounty hunters, assassins, gangsters, whores… they all added to the grim atmosphere. Carth and Xana had hardly entered the main area, before coming upon an interesting scene. Three gangsters were harassing a sturdy little man wearing a blue coat and strange hat.

"Leave," the short man growled. He wasn't one for many words, apparently.

"Hey, we just want to talk," a Rodian squealed in his own language.

"We've never met such a famous bounty hunter before, Calo Nord," a Twi'lek added.

"One," the supposed bounty hunter said, with the air of a weatherman reading the forecast.

"One? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Maybe he is trying to count his own IQ?" another Rodian smirked.

"Two." The small man was as stoic as ever. Not a small feat, considering he was facing three well-armed gangsters.

"Is this fucker really Calo Nord?" The little Rodian started to sound angry. Xana watched it all with keen interest, curious how the scene would play out.

"I doubt it. He's too thick to notice he'll never win against three Black Vulkars!"

"Three." The short man lazily dropped a grenade that he had been hiding in the pocket of his coat. He must've removed the pin a few seconds prior, because the moment it touched the floor it started spewing thick clouds of black smoke. Faster than lightning the man drew his blasters and fired exactly three shots. As the smoke started to dissipate Nord lazily walked away, leaving behind three very dead Black Vulkars.

As he passed Xana, his eyes slightly widened. "Do I know you?" he asked. Maybe Xana imagined it, but there seemed to be a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"I doubt it," Xana grinned. "My friends have all lost their virginity." The bounty hunter stared blankly at her for a moment, before slouching on. "Nice hat by the way," she called after him. "Can you ask your granny to make me one, too?" He ignored her and walked out of the door.

"Grey, you idiot!" Carth hissed. "Is it truly necessary to piss off someone that has just murdered three people in cold blood?"

"Sorry mate." Xana was still grinning silly. "It's just good to be back."

"Wha…? You mean to say you like it down here?"

"After the crap we've faced up there? Absolutely. Feels like a warm bath coming down here."

"Err… right. So you gonna explain why a famous bounty hunter recognizes you? It certainly didn't seem like he recognized the famous arena champion, he seemed a bit… too cautious for that. So you two must've met before and you must've left a pretty strong impression."

One of the bouncers started to dispose of the three corpses left by Nord. His effective actions betrayed it was not the first time he did so. Xana watched it all indifferently as she tried to search her past for the small bounty hunter. To her frustration it was all a vast, empty blackness. "I don't know, Onasi," she sighed. "It's all black."

"I don't like this, Grey."

"You and me both," Xana mumbled, more to herself then to her companion. She continued her way into the cantina, with a slightly disgruntled Carth behind her. People eyed the pair with suspicion, but Xana's confident stride kept them away. She figured most of them faced more than enough violence out on the street anyway, coming to the cantina to get away from all that. They didn't want to get into more fights with a well-armed man and woman on their night off.

Deeper inside the cantina they met with more Black Vulkar scumbags. These two were harassing a blue Twi'lek girl. "Why don't you come with us little girl?" a man said lewdly. "We'll show you how to have a good time."

"Seriously guys, I wouldn't mess with me if I were you." This girl could be no older than sixteen, but despite her age she seemed rather confident.

Xana watched it all from a distance. She didn't want to throw herself blindly in between them, but she didn't feel comfortable about leaving this girl to her fate either. "Need any help, young lady?" she decided to ask.

The Twi'lek glanced at her. "I do," she smirked. "Big Z, come over here and dispose of these gentlemen."

Somewhere from a table in a dark corner a massive form rose. As he stepped out into the light he turned out to be a Wookie, with a massive bowcaster resting lazily on his shoulder. "I was just having dinner, Mission," he said in Shyriiwook. "Is this really necessary?"

The Vulkars obviously didn't understand him and thought he was threatening them. "You big hairy degenerate, keep your nose out of business that doesn't concern you."

"Pissing off a Wookie," the scoundrel mused. "You chaps really aren't the smartest lot, are you?"

"You keep out of this as well, you filthy whore."

Before Xana could make a comeback, the Wookie was already on the pair. With surprising speed he had lunged forward and grabbed both thugs by the throat. With massive force he smashed them into the ground. In terror the two crawled away from the scene, desperate to get away from the angry Wookie. When they were gone the hairy monster stepped between the Twi'lek and the scoundrel. He loomed dangerously over the much smaller woman. "What do you want with Mission?"

"Calm down, big fellow," she answered in Shyriiwook, which visibly surprised him. "I mean your girlfriend no harm." Her words calmed him down.

The girl stepped around the Wookie and giggled. "Zaalbar is not my boyfriend, you know?" She stared at Xana for a moment and suddenly recognized her. "Hey, you are Saber! The new arena champion." The girl was positively beaming at her.

"The one and only," she answered with a smug grin. "But my friends call me Grey, so please do so."

"Nice! You are really a kind woman, compared to most people here. Most people would let those gangsters abduct me and have their way with me, afraid to get into trouble with the Vulkars. My name is Mission Vao by the way. My bodyguard here is called Zaalbar, Big-Z for friends." She extended her hand, which Xana shook.

"Nice to meet you Mission. My companion over there is called Carth Onasi." She eyed the Wookie curiously. "So how does one get a Wookie bodyguard, exactly?"

"That's a secret," she answered with a mischievous grin. "Otherwise everyone would get one in the future."

"Wookies are only loyal to true friends, Mission," Zaalbar growled. "Vulkar filth would never gain our trust."

"That's a good thing, I guess," Xana mused.

Carth suddenly found it necessary to display his virtuous morals. "Say, aren't you a bit young to be out here between the gangsters?"

"Hey, I'm fourteen! I have lived on these streets for all my life. With my skills I have probably more chance of survival then you, grandpa."

"Touché." Xana laughed.

"And Big-Z is with me all the time. Between my brains and his brawn, no one can hurt us."

"I'm just saying a kid doesn't deserve a life down here," the pilot mumbled darkly.

"Stop patronizing her already, Onasi," the lieutenant said sternly. "Not everyone has the chance of living a sheltered little life. We all have to make do with the things we are given. Mission looks fine by me, meaning she has done just that."

"Thanks," the Twi'lek muttered. "So what are you two doing down here anyway? You aren't part of the swoop gangs and you don't look like you work for Davik Kang either."

Xana glanced around the cantina, to see if they weren't being overheard. She stepped a bit closer to Mission. "We aren't. Maybe you can help us out," she said softly. "Those Republic escape pods that landed down here? One of them contained a friend of mine, who has gone missing. Do you have any idea where I might find her?"

"Hmm, all those pods have been salvaged by the swoop gangs. They were the first on the scene. Maybe Gadon knows where she is."

"Who's this Gadon?"

"Gadon Thek, leader of the Hidden Beks swoop gang. He is a pretty cool guy, has helped me out here and there in return for my services to him. He knows everything that's going on around these parts, he'll surely know where to find your friend. I could take you to him and introduce you to him, if you'd like?"

"Thanks Mission, that would be extremely helpful. But can you first tell me a bit of the situation down here? It's a warzone out in the streets, why is this all happening?" The way from the elevator to the cantina hadn't been exactly clear. They had gone from skirmish to skirmish between rivaling gangs, often having to fight their way through.

"It's all Brejik's fault," Mission spat. "He was Gadon's second in command and his future successor. When Gadon lost his eyesight in some accident with a swoop bike, Brejik thought he could seize this opportunity to take over the gang. But Gadon didn't think he was ready yet, Brejik was still way too young to get the responsibility over the gang. Gadon's eyesight was restored using implants and he was fit enough to continue leading the Beks himself. Brejik didn't think so and challenged him for power. There was a huge fight, which Brejik lost. He and his supporters fled to join the Black Vulkars, a rivaling gang. Eventually he became the leader of the Vulkars and declared war on the Beks. This is all a silly war for power."

"So Gadon is a good man?" Xana was trying to establish who she could somewhat trust, and who she would have to keep away from.

Mission nodded. "Yeah, despite being a gangster he is a man of honor. Those who are loyal to him are treated with respect."

"I see. What can you tell me about Davik Kang?"

"He's just the local crime lord. He's been around for a long time, as a representative for the Exchange. Does everything like smuggling, extortion, assassination, slavery, prostitution, drugs… that sort of thing. People from all layers of society pay him for his services. Many of the bounty hunters down here work for him. They leave me alone for the most part, so I care little about them."

"And the Sith? Do they have much power down here?"

"Don't know much about them. They first came here when that Lady Revan took over. She had a lot of powerful people assassinated, the rest bowed down to her in fear. It was pretty okay with her in charge, not much changed for the worse once Taris became part of the Sith Empire. She allowed us all to continue living our normal lives, they just took some resources to aid in the Sith war effort. When Malak came to power things did change."

"How so?"

"Their methods of recruiting soldiers became much harsher. Threatening to kill your family, torture using the Force, mind control, that sort of thing." The young Twi'lek shuddered a bit. "Compared to Malak, Revan was a pretty cool lady."

"They're both dark Jedi in my book," Carth said darkly. "The galaxy would be better off without them."

Xana shook her head. "Without Revan Taris might have ended up like Cathar… a smoldering ruin with Mandalorians pissing on the graves of the dead." Once again Carth showed his blind devotion to the Republic, while dismissing everything that opposed them as 'the dark side' and an evil that must be exterminated. Frankly Xana was getting fed up with his short-sighted attitude.

"So you sympathize with a Sith Lord now?" the pilot shot back at her.

"At least she didn't sit back and wank off as the Mandalorians had their way with the galaxy," the scoundrel returned just as angrily. "She did something about it."

"Against the will of the Jedi Council." Carth started to become genuinely angry and his distrust of the scoundrel flared back up to its fullest. "And they were right in the end, weren't they? Revan and Malak _did_ fall to the dark side and plunged us into a new war."

"That's how _they_ explain it. You've never hear _her_ side of the story." In her studies of recent history, Xana had become fascinated by Revan. The Jedi Order had gone out of their way to destroy or censor as much information about the former Dark Lord as possible, which led Xana to believe there was more to Revan than a simple fall to the dark side. Those accusations were way too easy.

"I don't think Lady Revan was really evil," Mission added timidly. "She never did something to hurt us commoners. That's all different now with Malak."

Carth wanted to say something, but Xana intervened. "That's all beside the point right now, we could discuss this for months and still not come up with an agreeable conclusion. Mission, can you take us to Gadon now?"

The blue girl motioned them to follow. "You best be careful, Grey," Carth warned as they started to make their way out of the cantina. "I'm not recovering Bastila so you can bring her to the Sith."

"Maybe you should open your eyes and ears, you shallow asshole," the scoundrel growled dangerously. "If you had done so sooner, you would've known I despise everything about Malak and would never do anything to aide him in his little crusade. Certainly not sell out a woman I respect. Belittle me like that again and I _will_ cut off your balls, capisce?"

* * *

Thanks to Mission they were let into the Hidden Beks base with relative ease. The blue little Twi'lek convinced the guards that the two newcomers were friendly to the Beks and they were reluctantly allowed entrance. Once inside they stepped in a large square hall. Some swoop bikes were parked in a corner and a great number of supply boxes covered the walls. The place was bustling with activity, even this late at night.

A pale Twi'lek had noticed the trio entering and stepped toward them with her hands on her blasters. "If it isn't the brat," she said coldly. "Who are your new friends?"

"This is Saber, the new arena champion," Mission quickly said. "She needs Gadon's help."

Suspicion flared up in her purple eyes, and the Twi'lek pointed her blasters to the pair. Many of the gangsters in the vicinity noticed the commotion and also drew their weapons. "Drop your weapons, right now," the Twi'lek said tersely.

"Zaerdra! These are nice people," Mission whined.

"Silence!" Zaerdra told her. "You can't be too sure these days."

Xana held up her hands, with the palms pointed at Zaerdra as a sign of peace. "Relax, we mean no harm." She quickly dropped her saber to the ground, followed by her blasters and grenades. Carth followed her example. Once they were both unarmed, the pale Twi'lek relaxed and signaled two gangsters to keep them covered. The rest of them holstered their weapons and continued on with their business.

The Twi'lek gave Xana a pointed look. "I'm going to frisk you, so no funny business. If you make a move, these two _will_ kill you."

Xana smirked lecherously at her. "Like I would ever interrupt a beautiful woman stroking my body."

The Twi'lek remained unfazed and efficiently frisked Carth. She didn't find anything and moved over to the scoundrel to do the same. Her hands darted everywhere, including her crotch. For a moment Xana tensed up as her mind returned to the abandoned apartment, where a much less gentle Sarna had touched the same place. Fortunately this woman had no lewd intentions; her hands immediately left her body when she found no hidden weapons.

When the Twi'lek was satisfied, she stood two inches in front of the scoundrel and gave her a stern look. Her large, purple eyes stood grim. "I'll allow you to speak with Gadon. Just keep in mind I will not hesitate to kill you should you try anything funny."

The scoundrel gave her an indifferent shrug. "I'd expect nothing less from a good bodyguard."

As the two gangsters started to collect their weapons for safekeeping, the woman pressed a button on her in-ear communicator. "Gadon? I have someone at the front that's looking for your help. She's the new arena champion, Saber." A moment of silence. "Understood." She looked up at Xana. "He's on his way."

"Thanks."

"Well, Zaalbar and I are on our way then," Mission told Xana. "Not much to do around here these days, so we're going to check out the Undercity and see if we can get some loot."

Xana gave her an appreciative smile. "Alright, take care Mission. And thanks for the help."

"You're welcome Grey. See you around." She timidly turned to the older Twi'lek. "Bye then, Zaerdra."

"If you have no further business here, leave already." The bodyguard watched the girl with cold eyes. Mission's face fell and she quietly slouched out of the base, with Zaalbar close behind.

"You don't seem particularly fond of young Miss Vao," Xana commented.

"I'm not. She looks up to me like I'm her big sister, an example she should follow." Zaerdra heaved a deep sigh. "Followed me around like a hurt little puppy after that good for nothing brother of her abandoned her. I didn't mind at first, I kept her close to protect and tutor her. Until I discovered she had loose hand. Gave the thieving little brat a good beating and sent her away. Little pest is still trying to get back on my good side, but she has blown that chance."

"And you don't think she deeply regrets stealing from you, after you abandoned her as well? Must be hard to be all on your own down here, without many friends."

"I don't care. Should have thought of that before taking my stuff." Her eyes betrayed that she felt at least a bit uncomfortable about shunning the blue Twi'lek.

"Sure, tough bodyguard. Have it your way."

Zaerdra gave her a sharp look, but at that moment a door opened and a man stepped through. His stride was sure and his eyes stood confident, the posture of a leader inside his own base. He sat down behind a desk and gestured Xana to sit down in front of him. She took the seat, while Zaerdra stood a bit behind Gadon, her purple eyes never leaving the arena champion. The gang leader's creepy white eye-implants studied her for a moment. "We've heard of your efforts in Ajuur's arena, Miss Saber. May I congratulate you with your impressive achievement?"

"I didn't come here to chitchat about that, and I doubt you have the time to do so," Xana answered in a businesslike tone.

"Indeed I haven't. You see, you have me curious here. Just earlier this evening you were fighting in the Upper City arena. Despite the Sith lockdown I find you here in my base a few hours later. I can only think of two kinds of people who can pass the lockdown… Sith troopers and Davik's men. Which one are you, I wonder?" His voice had lowered a bit, as to intimidate the woman.

"Neither," the scoundrel answered calmly, unfazed by his unspoken threat. "I merely got the opportunity to relieve a lovely Sith lady from her uniform. An opportunity I obviously took, considering my need to get into the Lower City."

"She's a Sith spy, Gadon," Zaerdra said angrily. "You should kill her."

"Calm down, Zaerdra. Why would a Sith that's trying to infiltrate us first become an arena champion?"

"Maybe to gain our respect?" she ventured, but without her earlier conviction.

"That doesn't make sense. It's too rash, too high-profile." He turned back to the scoundrel. "How exactly did you obtain this uniform? Don't the Sith guard them with their lives?"

"Well I'm not exactly an ugly woman." Xana was getting impatient. "Are you going to continue asking me pointless questions, or can we finally get to the point here? I'm trying not to waste your time here, in return I expect the same respect."

Gadon watched her with an amused smile, just as Xana thought he liked her no-bullshit approach. "Right, I guess it can't hurt to listen to your story. You said you needed my help?"

"I'm looking for something that landed inside an escape pod a day ago. It is rather valuable to me and I wish to get it back. Mission Vao told me to see you, as you seem to know everything that's going on around here."

He gave her a long, thoughtful stare. "Is that something perhaps a female Republic officer?"

The scoundrel's eyes widened. "She was found then? By your men?"

"Alas, the Black Vulkars beat us to it. They were nearby when your friend's pod landed in the Undercity and immediately cleared them out. Your woman was taken prisoner as well."

"Fuck, she's in the hands of those bastards? They didn't sell her to the Exchange, did they?"

Gadon shook his head. "No, normally they would, as a slave fetches a lot of money. But Brejik has different plans for her. He's going to use her to strengthen his reputation among the gangs. The Tarisian Season Opener is being held the day after tomorrow. It's the first major swoop race of the season and Brejik is offering her as the prize for this race. It's a clever move that will earn him the respect from many of the smaller gangs."

"Great, so she is still in Vulkar hands." Xana got to her feet. "Then I'll just infiltrate their base to get her out, easy as pie. Thanks for the Intel, Mister Thek."

"You didn't think Brejik would keep something so valuable inside his base, did you?" Gadon asked before she could walk away. "If I were to capture a powerful officer I'd keep her locked up in an anonymous safe house. He has many spread across the city and believe me when I say finding the exact location is near impossible."

Xana realized the gangster was right, finding a single woman inside a city the size of a planet would take years. She sat down again, feeling defeated. This would be harder then she had originally anticipated.

"I believe the only way to rescue this woman is to win the swoop race," Gadon told her. "Unless you want to storm the ceremony and fight off all gangs to get her."

"I'm a scoundrel, not a fucking dreadnought." This was a dead-end. Xana couldn't participate in the swoop race, seeing how she was no gang member. It was also impossible to find Bastila before the race. She let out a desperate sigh.

"Then you need to win this race. It seems you and I have similar goals right now, maybe we could cut a deal."

A ray of hope sparked within her as she watched him keenly. "Let's hear it."

"My engineers have recently developed a new type of accelerator. This engine is much more powerful than a regular one and allows us to outrun all opposition. Brejik knew of this new development and has stolen a prototype from me. Needless to say, I want it back."

"And you want me to get it for you?"

"You seem to be a capable woman," the bald man answered. "You might be one of the few people who are able to pull this off."

"And I'm unrelated to the Hidden Beks," Xana thought aloud. "Clever… if I'm caught it won't cause another shitstorm between you and the Vulkars."

"Yes, there's that as well," Gadon admitted. "But one favor for the other, right? If you bring it to me, I'll sponsor you to partake in the swoop race under my flag, using the accelerator prototype. If you win, the woman is yours."

"What's the catch Gadon?" the scoundrel demanded. "Why not let one of your best racers use the prototype? Afraid it'll blow up in my face?"

The boss shrugged. "The engine has never been fully tested, so we aren't completely sure it's safe. It probably won't blow up, but I don't want to risk one of my best pilots if it can be avoided. Listen lady, you can either take this chance or find another way to save your girl. Both are completely fine by me."

"Alright, alright, I see your fucking point. You have a deal, I'll bring you your accelerator, you let me race your bike to win the freedom of… _my girl_." They shook hands to seal the deal. "So… details."

"To get the accelerator you'll have to infiltrate the Black Vulkar base, it's where their garage is. Trying to enter through the front door is a sure way of getting yourself killed, it's heavily guarded and has a topnotch security system. Lord Revan herself couldn't crack it, if she were still alive. There is another way in though, as it is connected to the Undercity sewers by a maintenance entrance."

"Right, so I'll have to crawl through shit and piss to get in?"

"Hardly. There's a proper infrastructure inside the massive pipes for the mechanics to do their work. And people like Mission Vao use them to make a living." His eyes darted to his bodyguard for a moment, before turning back to the scoundrel. "Now that I mention her, it wouldn't be such a bad idea to ask her to help you navigate the place. The sewers are as massive as the Upper City itself, you could spend days finding the proper exit. Time you don't have, seeing how the race is held the day after tomorrow."

The lieutenant nodded at that. "I'll ask her. So, the Undercity… What about those rakghouls?"

Gadon shrugged. "Just kill them before they bite you. Isn't that what you usually do?" The raven haired woman nodded to show she got his drift. "Then they won't be much of a problem. One more thing, you're going to need security clearance to get into the Undercity. My men can forge a security code for you, but that's going to take time. They can have one tomorrow morning. I'm willing to trade it for your Sith uniform."

"Don't mock me, Gadon!" Xana got to her feet and pointed a warning finger at the man. "You might hold all the cards right now, but that doesn't mean you can take everything from me that you damn want." Her green eyes flared up and the gang leader actually flinched. "Don't mistake me for a helpless woman on a desperate mission. I need those codes to retrieve your fucking engine, you will give me those codes. End of story."

The man quickly held up his hands. "Fine, fine. Consider the code yours, please."

"Good. Me and my mate will be back tomorrow morning." She moved away from the desk and signaled Carth to follow.

"You're free to use the facilities this base has to offer," Gadon offered before she could leave. "You can take one of the bunks for a good night's rest, so you're fresh once you descent into the Undercity."

"Thanks Thek, but maybe later." She gestured at her flimsy combat suit. "We still need better gear to face what's down there. I was planning to do some bounty hunting to get the credits we need."

"Umm, Grey? Maybe it's better if we tucked in for the night," Carth carefully ventured. "It's 2 am already and my last night wasn't exactly a long one. Besides, you've gone through a lot today. We could both use a good night's sleep."

Xana gave the pilot a thoughtful stare. He might be a close-minded Republic bigot with an unhealthy amount of distrust, at least he had showed he was genuinely concerned about her health. And he was right this time, it had been a long day, with a lot of crap going on. They couldn't keep rushing from one thing into the other. She gave in. "Yes, you're right. It will have to wait till the morning."

Gadon nodded. "Very well. Zaerdra, please show these people to their bunks and warn the crew about our guests. Make it abundantly clear they're not to be disturbed."

* * *

Bastila was sitting listlessly in her cage, glancing around the dimly lit room. It seemed to be an unused garage box, with a single sliding door on the other side. The faint smell of fuel still lingered in the air. Two guards were constantly stationed at the door, armed with vibroswords and blaster rifles. They were always women. Whoever was holding her hostage apparently wanted her to remain untouched, they had even allowed her to keep her robes.

One of the current guards was a Twi'lek woman, and she was constantly staring at the prisoner in a very bored manner, while stroking the sharp of her sword. It made Bastila wonder if she was planning something, but she couldn't really be bothered, thanks to the neural disruptor. It flattened her emotions and reduced her hold over the Force. The wicked device cleverly prevented her escape in two ways; even if she had the will to escape, she wouldn't have to power to do so. She had resigned herself to her fate.

A light shiver went through her spine as she felt a ripple through the force. It was barely noticeable for Bastila, so it probably meant nothing. With slight shock she realized her perception of the Force was dampened. If she could feel this small disturbance it must actually be a very big one. Yes, it must be from a powerful Force user, one who was covered by the taint of the dark side. A powerful dark Jedi had arrived on Taris. A tiny voice inside her told her to be extremely frightened, but she just couldn't bring herself to it.

A few hours earlier a similar ripple had reached her. This one had belonged to a very distressed Xana Grey. The lieutenant had been begging for her, begging for Bastila to come and help. It had slightly upset the Jedi Knight and she had tried to reach out for the woman to comfort her. The neural disruptor had made this extremely difficult, but the disruption in the Force had ended shortly after her call. This either meant that Xana was dead or incapacitated, or that her voice had reached her and had indeed calmed her down.

The Jedi Knight hoped that Xana was still alive, but mostly that Carth was with her. She highly respected the flight commander, he was a veteran with great skill and a friend. His loyalty meant that he would certainly go look for her if he was alive on Taris. Her mind wandered back to the dark Jedi. It would be disastrous if he got his hands on Carth and Xana, certainly if he realized who the woman really was. For the first time since her capture she got truly frightened. Some of her willpower returned as she frantically started searching for Xana through the Force, to warn her of the impending danger.


	6. Descending to the Surface

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Five**

**Descending to the Surface**

* * *

_Bastila and Revan were locked in their deadly dance. With furious yet graceful patterns the yellow lightsaber kept the Dark Lord on her toes. Neither woman seemed eager to inflict injury on the other, their strikes weren't meant to kill, rather to incapacitate. Or as a measure of strength._

_The duel seemed to continue on for hours, without either woman giving in even an inch. Suddenly the entire scene froze and everything was tightly locked into place. Everything but Bastila, who was frantically looking at Revan. "They are coming."_

_Revan's movement had also stopped completely, just like the rest of the world, but Bastila seemed intent to tell her something. "The dark side is coming for you." The brunette's words were urgent and foreboding. "Taris is no longer safe. You have to watch your step. Xana, watch out!"_

* * *

A terrible feeling had nestled itself in Xana's gut, almost like her subconscious was warning her of impending danger. Perhaps it was some evolutionary quirk protecting her, but it most likely had something to do with last night's nightmare. It had been off somehow, thought she couldn't recall exactly what had been wrong with it. It had been the usual scene of Bastila's defeat of Revan, but with a strange and frightening twist. When she woke up she had been covered in sweat and felt terrified, but she had directly fallen asleep again. Memories of the dream were gone in the morning, except for the strange, foreboding feeling.

Part of her was glad that she had fallen asleep again. It had been a deep and refreshing sleep, without any more dreams. Thankfully Carth had also slept well, so they were both sharp and energized for another long day. After a quick breakfast with a strong cup of coffee the two had returned to the Lower City cantina, where they had met up with the owner of the local bounty office, Zax the Hutt. He had hooked them up with three contracts, all criminals. He had more contracts, but Xana wasn't keen on murdering innocents for a quick buck, despite her supposed background as pirate. It wouldn't help ease the tense mood between White Knight Carth and her either.

Not that it made things any easier. These criminals were all violent and desperate assholes, who were not about to go down without a fight. They holed themselves up in local apartments, the perfect place to protect oneself with relative ease thanks to the single entrance. Despite the unfavorable odds of the location Xana had come up with a pretty solid strategy. With an innocent smile and a few well-chosen words she managed to coax them into believing they had nothing to be afraid of. A false feeling of security that only lasted till a razor-sharp dagger penetrated the soft flesh of the neck, ripping open the vital aorta underneath.

The only one who had seen through this tactic had been Selven, an assassin. Perhaps the small woman used similar tactics to make her living. She had pulled her blaster before Xana could reach her and a deadly firefight had ensued. Thankfully the scoundrel had Carth as her backup and between the two of them they downed the assassin fairly easy. The pilot had been angry with her, accusing her of being careless and overconfident. Xana thought she was neither – she had her contingency plans into place after all – but promised to be more careful in the future, just to avoid a discussion.

To earn a bit more money they also scavenged empty apartments. Carth wasn't keen on stealing, but even he had to admit they needed the cash desperately. They were on a tight schedule, with the big swoop race being tomorrow. They still needed to upgrade their gear and replenish their supplies in order to survive in the hostile Undercity. Stories about Rakghouls, gangsters and mercenaries had left them both concerned.

Thankfully every apartment block was a carbon copy of the other, a fact that sped up their looting spree considerably. Xana's ability to pick any lock within seconds also helped, something that further disgruntled Carth. He made it abundantly clear what he thought about her criminal skills, but the scoundrel shrugged it off with her usual indifference. After all those skills were invaluable to them.

In their journey through the Lower City they were constantly kept on their toes by the gang wars. Even this early in the morning small fights popped up everywhere in the streets and more than once did they have to use violence to fend off hostile Vulkars. At least the Beks were neutral now that she had cut a deal with Gadon, which didn't meant they actively helped them with the Vulkars. Most of them were tired of battle and happy the duo formed a diversion.

A rather interesting scene developed on their way back to the cantina. Two Vulkars were in discussion with a human man, who turned out to be an agent for Davik Kang. The two owed Kang some money and the agent was here to collect. They were threatening to kill Kang's agent, but their confidence vanished instantly once he let out a high whistle. A man carrying the biggest blaster rifle Xana had ever seen lazily approached the trio. The Vulkars recognized him as Canderous Ordo, a Mandalorian mercenary. His reputation instilled a deep fear in the duo and they didn't know how fast to pay up.

After the exchange both the Vulkars and Davik's goon disappeared in the city, while Ordo lingered behind and eyed the scoundrel with keen interest. He appeared to recognize her and approached her. "It seems like the famous Saber has found her way to the Lower City," he commented, while seizing up the scoundrel. He was probably trying to determine if she was all show, or a potential threat. "I hope you're not here to stir up trouble for Davik Kang."

"And what if I were, Mandalorian?" Xana was not intimidated by the burly merc and certainly wasn't going to lick his boots. "Would a loyal dog such as yourself get rid of me without your master's permission?"

"I won't go through the trouble of collecting your head without knowing how much it would fetch me." He spat on the corpse of a Vulkar that was lying abandoned on the curbs. "It's not like these gangsters give me enough trouble already. They're like pests, harmless on their own, but annoying when they gather in packs."

"Poor Davik," Xana mused. "They aren't playing by his rules, are they?"

"Gadon manages to keep his Beks in line, but the Vulkars are becoming more of a nuisance every day. If Gadon doesn't sort Brejik out, Davik might have to step in. Now _that_ would be a glorious fight."

"For fuck's sake Madalorian, what have your people become?" The raven haired woman gave him a patronizing smirk. "Taking out petty gangsters and calling it glorious? I mean, seriously? It's a good thing Revan sorted you people out, you honorless fucks deserved nothing better." She stepped forward and grabbed the merc by the shoulder. Her bright eyes intently pierced into his. "The Exchange is not a clan that will bring you honor or glory, Ordo. Certainly not on a pathetic planet such as Taris."

Her voice was quiet, but had quite the impact on the Mandalorian. His eyes grew wide for a moment and he searched for a comeback, but came up with none. He hung his proud head. With another belittling smirk Xana stepped past him to continue on her way. The clanless Mandalorian called after her, probably to save a bit of his pride. "Next time we'll meet, Saber, I'll know the price of your head. Pray that your gods have mercy on your soul."

Xana continued walking and completely ignored him. Carth hurried after her and fell in stride beside her. "That was some quick thinking," he commended with an approving nod. "Good thing you didn't cower away from him, or things might've looked grim for us."

"Yeah, if he reckoned I was some showgirl only daring to fight in the safety of the ring he probably would've killed me without second thought. Thankfully most of these clanless Mandalorians are pretty insecure about finding a new purpose in their lives."

"How did you know, though?" the pilot asked. "You weren't at the Mandalorian Wars, were you?"

For a moment the lieutenant searched her memories, only to find the usual void. "I don't know… probably not. During the lieutenant training we received some pretty thorough lessons about this galaxy's different factions, the Mandalorians included. And the Mandalorian Wars is a topic that greatly intrigues me. I've read a lot about them… probably every file I could get my hands on."

"Where did you find the time to read so much? The lieutenant training program is brutal, without a lot of free time."

"The Republic kept me a few months in prison after my… little accident. During that time I too sought a purpose in my life. For a while that purpose was gathering as much information about this galaxy as possible. They have a rather nice library in prison. My psychologist was also nice enough to bring me any books I couldn't find."

This surprised the pilot. "I didn't know you did time in prison. I was told you went straight from the hospital to the training facility."

"What, you thought they'd let a criminal join their precious navy, just like that?"

"Then how _did_ you get into the program?" His suspicion seemed to flare up again.

Xana barked a laugh. "Maybe you haven't realized it yet, but I'm a particularly intelligent woman. And my memory might be gone, that doesn't mean I woke up as inexperienced as a baby. My intuition and most of my skills have carried over from my past life."

"It did?" he asked in disbelieve. "How does that work exactly?"

"I only know what my psychologist told me. The only part of my brain that was affected by the explosion is where my memories are stored. Or _were _stored, rather. The rest of my grey mass remained intact, including skills, personality, morals… It's why I'm still able to speak all my languages, slice computer terminals with ease, fight with my saber, etcetera."

"So you're exactly the same woman as you were in your previous life, just without the memories?"

Xana nodded in the affirmative. "Same twisted set of morals, same stubborn and headstrong personality…"

"Same foul mouth," Carth added with a tiny smile, causing a laugh from the scoundrel.

"Don't know about that one. I picked up a lot of colorful language from those lovely ladies in prison. Maybe my language was much more civilized in my previous life."

"Somehow I doubt that," the pilot grinned. "But it still doesn't explain how you got in the lieutenant program. Sure, you're smart and skilled, but you're also a criminal."

The scoundrel became evasive. "That's not the most uplifting story and hardly suited to be told in these dreary hallways. Let's focus on getting Bastila out."

"Alright…" he agreed reluctantly. "As long as it doesn't turn out to be some ploy from the Sith to plant a mole in the Republic, or capture Bastila."

"Relax, I'm not Sith," Xana assured him once again. "And I'm certainly not betraying Bastila." She couldn't just ignore the attraction she felt for the coldhearted Jedi Knight, though it was likely never going to be answered. But Xana wouldn't be Xana if she was going to give up that easily. She wanted to score a date with the lovely brunette, and heroically saving the damsel in distress might just melt the ice enough to give her a chance. And even if it didn't, she couldn't just leave the woman to be tortured and turned by the Sith. It would be wrong. Besides, Bastila couldn't answer Xana's questions about her past and the strange feeling of respect she felt for the knight if she were captured.

Carth accepted her promise for now, allowing them to reach the cantina without a further argument. After collecting the bounties from Zax they scored the address of a local Beks broker, who could supply them with high quality weapons that were officially banned by the Sith. At his hidden shop in yet another apartment block they were able to purchase some proper blasters for the both of them. Xana also got herself a stylish combat suit. It was basically a pitch black coat, with a thickly weaved fiber mesh underneath providing protection. It didn't restrict her movement, so it was perfect for her fast paced fighting style. It also hugged her figure quite nicely, thanks to the good female's cut. Carth reluctantly admitted it looked rather good on her.

After getting resupplied it was time to descent into the Undercity. Gadon had kept his words and provided them with the security code required to pass the guard. He also told them that Mission hadn't returned from the Undercity yet, so they would have to find her down there.

With a confident smile the scoundrel approached the Sith soldier that was stationed at the Undercity elevator. He eyed the pair with suspicion and pointed his gun at them. He was surrounded by six heavy turrets, so he didn't have much to fear. "State your business," he growled in his mechanical voice.

"Relax, we're on the same team here," Xana answered with a laidback attitude. "We're just another patrol. Got the security codes and everything." She handed him the forms, which he checked.

"Seems to be in order." He couldn't keep a bit of surprise out of his voice and he studied the duo for a moment. "Why aren't you wearing your uniforms?"

"And ruin a good suit in that filthy muck?" The scoundrel sounded almost offended. "No thank you."

The guard seemed to buy that explanation. "Heh, smart move. The guys that come back up here always look like they've been crawling through a bantha farm." He entered a few commands on the console and the elevator doors behind him opened. The two Republic marines quickly got in. "Good patrol, fellas."

* * *

They hadn't properly left the elevator into the Undercity, or they were approached by two men. It was possibly the most pathetic sight Xana had ever seen, they were extremely filthy and clothed in rags that were in an advanced state of decomposition. The braver of the two addressed her. "Hold on there, lady. You gotto pay the toll!"

An amused grin curled around Xana's lips. "Oh? They never told me about a toll. What's it for, exactly?"

"For using _our_ elevator. It's five credits, so you better pay up." The guy was trying to be threatening, but wasn't putting his heart behind it. He was fully aware that he wasn't going to intimidate two well-armed soldiers. The fact that he even tried betrayed how desperate he was.

"You two good chaps have set up a fine business here," the scoundrel mused. "Maybe I'll pay your toll… for the right information."

"Err… alright." They seemed relieved that they weren't being beaten to shit yet and eager by the prospect of credits. "So what do ya wanna know, lady?"

"I'm looking for a Twi'lek girl called Mission Vao. According to my information she's down here somewhere. Any idea where I might find her?"

"Oh, her… Yeah, she was down here, together with that violent monkey of hers." He pointed at a sturdy fence in the distance. "Went to the sewers as usual. There are entrances outside our village, beyond the gate. She hasn't returned yet, so I guess she's still there. Wouldn't fancy going after her, with all of them rakghouls."

"What can you tell me about these rakghouls?"

The guy shivered. "They infect us humans, who slowly transform into them. They're like walking corpses, but worse. Best keep far away from them."

"Thanks for the warning and the information. Here's your credits." She gave them both five credits, which the greedily took. "Don't spend them all in one go," she joked, but the two beggars were already gone. Xana finally had time to look around.

The transition between the Upper and Lower City had been a big one, but coming down here was even more of a shock. Natural light didn't shine directly down here, it had to crawl and seep through the different layers of the city above. It gave the area a grim and eerie feel.

The outcasts had erected a small village between the massive foundations of the city. It consisted of a few tents, just as filthy and decayed as the villager's clothes, which were planted directly into the soil. Looking at the ground Xana realized it probably wasn't real soil, but rather a mixture of decaying filth from the city above. A stale odor lay thick in the unmoving air, nearly taking her breath away. Those who were forced to live here were indeed very unfortunate.

Xana decided not to linger any longer than necessary in this dump and headed for the gate the beggar had pointed out. As they were walking through the Undercity the scoundrel spotted a girl who was watching them with shy interest from a distance. She was wearing similar dirty rags as the two beggars and was extremely filthy. It was truly a pitiful sight. As the scoundrel approached her, she noticed the girl could be no older then sixteen. She would've been pretty, if it wasn't for the dirt and scared expression. "Hello there," Xana greeted kindly. "What's your name?"

"It… it's Shaleena, ma'am." Judging by her growing eyes she thought she was in serious trouble.

"Hello Shaleena, don't be scared," the scoundrel quickly soothed. "We're not going to hurt you. I just wanted to talk. My name is Xana and my friend here is Carth."

Her initial fear seemed to disappear a bit, but she visibly felt apprehensive of the newcomers. "H-Hello."

"Say Shaleena, do you know anything about those escape pods that have crashed down here?"

"N-Not much, ma'am. Those gangsters cleaned them out. After that many more people came. S-Soldiers in shining armor, more gangsters from another gang, mercenaries. We g-got nothing though. We never get anything." Her pretty face turned incredibly sad.

"Hey, don't look so sad," the scoundrel smiled. "It's not so bad down here, is it?"

"I… think it's pretty okay. I've never been on the surface, so I wouldn't know. Is it really pretty up there? What does the sky look like?" Some of her shyness made way for her curiosity.

"Well, the girls up there certainly aren't as pretty as you are," Xana said kindly, which caused a shy smile on the girl's face. "As for the sky… it's a strange and marvelous thing. At daytime it's a massive, blue… thing. Filled with nothing except clouds and birds."

"What's clouds?" Shaleena's eyes had turn wide again, but this time from curiosity.

"Err… how to explain? Has it ever been so cold down here that your breath leaves your mouth as a white gas?" The girl nodded eagerly to show that it had. "Clouds look just like that, except much bigger. They lazily float through the sky.

"Wow! That's amazing!"

"It is," Xana told enthusiastically. "Yet at nighttime it becomes even better. The entire blue sky turns pitch-black, but it's dotted with billions of pretty little lights."

"Where do the lights come from?"

"From stars, millions of miles away. Each star has its own planets, just like Taris, all with interesting people on them."

"I… can hardly believe you."

"One day, you will see it for yourself." The girl's smile turned hopeful. "You'll be swept right off your feet from its beauty, I'm sure of it."

"And all those planets… are you going to travel to them?"

"Maybe later," the scoundrel answered grimly. "Currently I'm trying to rescue a friend of mine. She's captured by one of the swoop gangs you see."

Shaleena's mouth fell open and she admired Xana like she was some hero. "Wow. She must be very special to you, if you're coming to the Undercity and fight nasty gangsters to rescue her."

"Yeah, she is special," the Lieutenant quietly agreed. "I'm not sure why… I don't even know her very well… but she's… I am… I have the feeling she'll play a very important role in my life."

Shaleena grabbed both the scoundrel's hands and gave her a tiny smile. "I'm sure you'll find her, Lady Xana. Because you're a kind lady!"

Xana returned the warm smile and affectionately ruffled a hand through the girl's hair. "That's nice of you to say, Shaleena. You're very kind too." The girl's face finally broke into a big, beaming smile. "Don't give up hope. One day you'll get out of here and see the sky for yourself. Maybe you'll even travel to far away planets."

"I believe you," the girl beamed. "Thank you, Xana. And good luck with finding your friend." Xana gave her another smile and pulled her in a hug. She muttered a few more reassuring words, before pulling away. Shaleena looked genuinely happy, a far cry from the shy girl from a few minutes earlier. After saying goodbye she ran off to the village, leaving Xana and Carth behind.

"You're in a good mood, to cheer her up like that," the pilot commented, looking a bit surprised.

"She reminds me of myself locked inside that Republic prison," Xana answered in a faraway voice. "Locked up without knowing why, without any hope of ever seeing the real world for the first time. You have no idea how frustrating and saddening that is."

"It must be pretty terrifying. But isn't it a bit unfair to give her false hope? You know she'll probably never see the sky for herself."

"It's incredibly important never to lose hope." A pained expression cast a deep shadow on the lieutenant's pretty face. "Without hope, there's no life. I know that all too well." Memories and raw emotions from the past were threatening to overwhelm her, her time in prison was truly a black chapter in her life. She realized these emotions weren't going to help anyone, so with pure power of will she pushed them away. Bastila needed her to be strong.

Carth interrupted her train of thoughts. "It's a nice change though."

"What is?" the scoundrel asked.

"You are." When Xana gave him a confused look he tried to elaborate. "You're just a big mystery to me, I guess. You tackle every problem with cold rationality and a tough-as-nails attitude. It's nice to find a… vulnerable and more gentle person underneath all that."

The raven haired woman shook her head. "We're behind enemy lines and under a lot of strain. Of course I'm acting like a cold bitch, acting like a pussy won't get us any further. If you've been judging me solely on my business side, you've got me all wrong."

He gave her a shameful grin. "Apparently so… sorry about that."

The scoundrel smiled and grabbed the pilot by the shoulder. "No need for apologies… even I have trouble understanding myself sometimes. Why don't we go grab a beer together once this shit is all over? We could discuss how much of a broken set of fuckheads we are. Maybe we could even learn something from each other."

"While I doubt you'll learn something from me, I like that idea." Carth smiled and was looking at Xana like he saw her for the first time. "Maybe we could even be comrades, if you let go of that stupid plan of becoming a pirate again."

"Like I'd ever become friends with a goody two shoes such as yourself," the scoundrel teased.

"Hey, I'm just trying to protect you," the pilot grinned. "People in that line of work usually don't have a very high life expectancy."

"No shit, Sherlock, like I wouldn't know," the raven haired woman laughed. "I nearly died already."

"Then why go back to that life?" Carth asked curiously.

"Carth… you have absolutely no idea what I'm going through right now, do you?" Xana had become very quiet, making the pilot uneasy.

"I don't," he admitted sheepishly. "Will you explain it to me?"

She took that into consideration. "Maybe later." For a moment she stared at a point in the distance, without seeing anything. Suddenly she snapped out of it. "But again, not right now. Like I said, some stories are hardly suited to be told in these grim places. We need to be sharp and with a clear mind."

"Fair enough. We'll talk later."

"But I'll only talk if you talk as well, mister I-don't-trust-anybody." Carth cocked an eyebrow, but Xana would have nothing of it. "You've seen some shit in your life as well, Carth. Cropping that all up will only tear you apart in the long run and you know it."

"I'll… think about it," he said reluctantly. "For now let's focus on finding that Twi'lek girl and getting that engine."

"My idea exactly, let's go."

As they were making their way to the gate, a blood chilling cry pierced the silence. It was unlike anything the scoundrel had ever heard. The unnatural cry was followed by human screams. Without even looking at each other they started running to the source of the commotion, which turned out to be at the gate. Xana eyes grew wide as she saw what was going on. A man was trapped on the other side of the gate, with a grey creature quickly closing in on him. Despite the pleas of a woman, the gatekeeper wouldn't let the man in, afraid that the creature might get into the village.

Xana quickly calculated her chances and decided to go for it. She rushed to the gatekeeper and pushed him away, taking over the controls. It took some force to pull the lever, but when she did the gate opened. Carth wasted no time to step through and open fire at the creature. The scoundrel followed his example. The creature, which Xana supposed was a rakghoul, was surprisingly fast and tough. It took no less than three shots to the head before it finally went down. Even then it continued twitching and clawing in his last dying breath, before the spasms ended and it finally died.

The three villagers were extremely grateful for the unexpected saviors. The woman wanted to reward them with credits, but Xana would have nothing of it, as these people needed the money more than them. All she wanted were directions to the nearest sewer entrance. After warning them several times not to go too deep in those rakghoul infested areas, they pointed them in the right direction. The scoundrel thanked them for the information and assured them they'd be careful. After about a dozen more 'thank you's' they were finally on their way through the wild parts of the Undercity.

After about fifteen minutes of walking through the urban jungle, they met with a large band of mercenaries. The group was led by none other than Canderous Ordo, the clanless Mandalorian. He seemed surprised to find her here, a bit impressed even. "You seem to be a very busy woman, Saber," he greeted gruffly.

"Probably because I _am_, Ordo," she returned just as grumpily.

One of the mercenaries gave them an openly hostile look. "Competition for the pods? We should wipe them out, Canderous."

"Half our squad got murdered by those rakghouls already," the Mandalorian said grimly. "I'm not wasting more men in a senseless fight."

"Don't want to share the glory of killing me with these mercs, Mandalorian?" Xana grinned. "Want to keep the rewards all for yourself?"

"Way I see it, you're going to stir up trouble. A change of pace is always nice, certainly if I can benefit from it."

The Mandalorian was interrupted by another blood chilling shriek. When they wheeled around they saw no less than seven rakghouls charging them at great speed. Loud cracks pierced the silence as dozens of blasters were fired wildly at the horrible creatures. Many of the beasts were killed before they could even reach the group, but one of them survived and threw himself on the Mandalorian. He lost his rifle because of the impact and fell flat on his back with the rakghouls on top of him. His eyes grew wide as he saw a wicked claw being pulled back, ready to strike.

Just as the creature was going to deal the finishing blow, his grey head was severed by Xana's vibrosaber. The headless creature fell limply on top of Ordo, who quickly pushed the stinking body off him. His face had turned a few shades greyer when it dawned to him he had just looked death in the eyes. He got to his feet and studied the seven dead rakghouls with disgust. None of his teammates were dead, neither were the two newcomers.

Xana approached him with a cocky grin. "I saved your life," she boasted. "There doesn't happen to be some Mandalorian rule that makes it mine, is there?"

"I'm going to have to disappoint you there," he answered curtly. His stance and entire appearance were full of confidence again, nothing betrayed he had just been inches away from death. "But you're a worthy warrior and I'm grateful that you saved my life, so I'm going to give you a friendly word of advice: turn back. The pods have all been scavenged and are completely empty. There's nothing out there worth risking your life for."

"It seems to me you're genuinely scared, Ordo. I didn't know Mandalorians were able to feel fear."

"Don't talk bullshit, Saber. I just want to live to see another day, just like you. Foolishly throwing your life away in an honorless fight with low odds of survival brings no glory. Walking away from that is not cowardice." He turned to his squad, who all seemed uneasy in this hostile environment. "We're moving back up, guys. We'll just have to disappoint Davik this time." They marched off without another glance at the two newcomers.

When they were alone again, the pilot heaved a deep sigh. "Nice bit of trouble Gadon has brought us in. Just point and shoot, huh? Those rakghouls don't go down half that easy."

"I'm planning to have a few good words with that asshole," Xana spat. "Sending us into this dump without any backup… I'm starting to wonder if he just wanted to get rid of us."

"I wish there was another way… But we won't be able to find Bastila in this massive city, not without the help of another Jedi anyway."

The scoundrel groaned. "I wish I were a Jedi sometimes. Would've made this so much easier."

Carth smacked her amiably on the shoulder. "Let's not lose hope here, Grey. We've come this far, I'm sure we'll get Bastila out just fine."

For a moment Xana considered telling him about the bad omen she had experienced during her nightmare, but she decided against it. It was just a dream, after all. "Of course we'll get her out," she said, more to herself than to the pilot. "Let's go find that Twi'lek."

They strolled through the hostile Undercity for a while longer before they found the blue alien. Or rather, before the blue alien found them. She literarily ran into the scoundrel, with an ashen face and tears streaming down her cheeks. Once she recognized the duo she let out a wail. "Grey, thank the Force it's you. You need to help me, they took Zaalbar."

The scoundrel grabbed Mission by the shoulders and looked her intently in the eyes. "Calm down, Mission. You're not making sense."

"They took him prisoner, Grey. We need to go help him!"

"Tell me exactly what happened. Who took Zaalbar and where are they keeping him?"

"We were exploring the sewers when we were ambushed by a group of Gamorreans. I managed to escape, but Zaalbar was captured. Please Grey, you need to help me!"

Xana felt horrible for what she was about to do, but she simply had to. "Listen Mission, this might seem selfish, but my mission demands it from me. I need your help getting into the Black Vulkar base. Gadon told me you knew the way into it through the sewers. If I help you rescue your friend, will you help me get into the base?" It didn't feel good to play on the emotions of the distressed girl, but she really didn't have another choice.

"Of course I'll help you," the Twi'lek quickly promised. "I'll be your loyal dog forever if you rescue him."

Xana squeezed the Twi'lek's shoulders lightly. "Taking me into the base is enough, I'm not looking for a slave." She gave the girl one of her spare blasters and nodded to Carth. "Let's hurry up."

Her words were unnecessary, because Mission was already running to the sewer entrance without waiting for the duo. This recklessness shocked and worried Xana, at this rate the girl was going to get herself killed. She quickly chased after the blue alien, hoping to stop her before she got into trouble.


	7. Friends in the Sewers

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Six**

**Friends in the Sewers**

* * *

The sewers weren't as bad as Xana had imagined them to be. Sure, the stench was horrid, a mixture of shit, piss and rotten corpses. The air was also warm and humid and the light was dim. But it had been pretty much the same story in the Undercity, so it didn't come as much of a shock. At least there were proper walkways, so they wouldn't have to wade through tons of crap from the higher parts of the city.

Mission had already run off ahead to safe her Wookie friend Zaalbar. Xana had never really had any close friends in her short life, so the reckless behavior of the Twi'lek surprised her a bit. But then again, wasn't she acting exactly the same way to save Bastila right now? Her train of thoughts was brutally interrupted when Mission rushed headlong into a group of rakghouls.

The young girl let out a terrified scream and stumbled backwards in shock. She tripped over her own feet and fell flat on her back. This gave both Xana and Carth a clear shot at the mutated creatures. In the semi-darkness it was hard to tell how many there were, but it was more than enough to keep their blasters occupied for a while. They just kept coming and coming. Mission had regained the sense of mind to draw her blaster as well and managed to get a few hits in. Between the three of them the rakghouls stood no chance in the narrow corridor.

When the last mutant was finally dead Xana let out a tiny sigh of relief. The smell of decomposing flesh lay thick in the air, coming from the dead rakghouls. She didn't have much time to catch her breath, because Mission had already stumbled to her feet and was planning to run onward. Xana muttered a curse and stopped the girl by grabbing her around the waist. The blue alien tried to wrestle free, but the stronger marine wouldn't let go. "What the _fuck_, Mission? Are you trying to get us all killed?"

"Lemme go, Grey! We need to hurry and find Zaalbar." Her desperate struggle continued.

"Calm down Mission," the scoundrel urged.

"You don't understand. They'll kill him."

"I _do_ understand, but they'll kill you too if you continue like this." Mission tried to bite Xana's hand to force her to let go, which caused the scoundrel to lose her patience. With moderate force she propelled the girl against the wall and grabbed her by the shoulders to lock her in place. "_For fuck's sake,_ calm the _fuck _down."

The combination of the flaring green eyes and harsh words finally got through to the girl. She sagged limply down to the floor and curled up to a ball, pushing her head against her knees and wrapping her arms around her shins. When she softly started weeping Xana silently cursed herself for losing herself like that. She reminded herself she was dealing with a young girl, not a trained marine. "Shit, Mission… I didn't mean to…" She got to her knees and gently rubber the girl between the lekku, in an attempt to calm her down. "I'm sorry I blew up to you like that, it wasn't my intention." Mission continued sobbing. "Look, if we're careful we'll get Zaalbar out just fine. But to do that I need you to follow my orders, otherwise I won't be able to protect you."

The Twi'lek's sobs stopped and she anxiously looked into Xana's green eyes. "Promise we'll save him?" Her words were frail and uncertain.

The raven-haired woman tried to give her the most reassuring smile she could muster under the circumstances. "Promise."

The tiniest of smiles curled around the edges of Mission's lips and she nodded once. "Alright, I'll do as you say. But can we please hurry up?"

Xana got to her feet and extended her hand to help the girl get up. "That's the plan. But with caution. Gamorreans are tough sons of bitches, we need to look for some form of advantage against them. And watch out for these mutated corpses while we're at it."

The scoundrel had the keenest senses, so she took point in the dimly lit corridors. The last thing they needed right now was stepping on a mine. Mission came second and Carth took the rear. The trio moved through the sewers swiftly but quietly. After rounding a couple of corners without meeting any resistance, they found a broken defense droid. The Twi'lek figured it had been used to protect the mechanics that worked down here.

Xana and Mission examined the droid and figured they could quickly get it functional again. The lieutenant started fixing broken parts, while the thief reprogrammed the software so it would target rakghouls and Gamorreans, but certainly not Wookies. The pilot kept watch while they worked, but no hostiles were in the vicinity to interrupt them. Between the two of them the droid was fully operational in no time.

Once they activated the droid it drew its blaster rifle and started scanning the area for hostiles. After a couple of seconds it had found its prey and stumbled clumsily into a corridor. The noise from its rusty limbs was excruciating and would probably lead everything within a mile's radius onto their case. But when it found its first target turned out to be highly effective. A lone rakghoul didn't know what hit it as a barrage of blasterfire scattered its head.

Xana realized not a single shot had missed. She looked at the droid in disbelieve and turned to Mission, who didn't look very surprised by the accuracy. "Just what the hell have you done to that droid?"

"Updated its aiming protocols with a version of my own," Mission answered smugly. "The old code accessed a lot of abundant and outdated sub protocols. My version is much cleaner and – as you can see – much more effective."

"Nice one," Xana complimented, genuinely impressed. "You're going to have to teach me that if we ever have the time."

"Sure thing, Grey. You did a great job yourself with that hardware." She held out her fist and the scoundrel bumped hers against it. "Nice teamwork!"

The rattling of a blaster rifle snapped them out of their victorious state. The droid had stumbled on and had engaged new enemies. High-pitched squeals betrayed that it had found the Gamorreans. These creatures were basically bipedal boars, who loved swinging around various heavy weapons like axes and maces. Easy to take on from a distance, but deadly up close.

As the trio chased after the droid, they heard a loud thump, followed by the sounds of buckling metal. The blasterfire ceased, indicating that their little masterpiece had been smashed into pieces. A very disgruntled Xana gestured the others to stay behind, while she slipped on her stealth field to investigate the area.

She slowly sneaked towards the open door where the droid had gone through. As she peeked around the corner she saw that the droid had managed to kill two out of five Gamorreans before it had been smacked on the head by a large hammer. It had been reduced to a miserable heap of steel and tubing on the floor. The three remaining boars were standing around the droid and studying it dumbly. The scoundrel returned to her companions and indicated them to follow.

They took cover at both sides at the door and the scoundrel tossed a flash bang grenade inside. When it went off the three opened fire on the Gamorreans. The blinded creatures stood no chance and were quickly disposed of.

Once they were dead they heard low growls coming from an adjacent room. Mission immediately recognized the sound. "Big-Z!" she screamed as she ran to the door from which the noise came. It was locked, so she tried to pick it. But her hands were shaking too much from all emotions and with a frustrated growl she had to give up.

Xana squeezed her shoulder in a reassuring way. "Don't worry Mission, I'll pick the lock." The Twi'lek stepped aside so the scoundrel could have a go. After a bit of fumbling the lock was released and the door opened. It led to a rectangular room, similar to the one they were standing in. In the far corner sat the big Wookie. "Big-Z!" Mission screamed again and she hurried over him. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Are you wounded?"

"Mission, am I glad to see you," Zaalbar grunted in Shyriiwook as he got to his feet. "Don't worry about me, I'm not hurt. They were too afraid to do something to me. But what about you, are you wounded? And how did you get rid of the Gamorreans?"

"I'm not wounded, thanks to Grey." Mission pointed to the entrance, where Xana and Carth were standing. "I found her just outside the sewers. She helped me get to you and dispose of those pigs. She even saved my life from a group of rakghouls."

The massive Wookie walked over to the scoundrel. "It's the arena champion again. You have saved my life, Miss Grey. But more importantly, you have saved the life of Mission, the most important person to me. I'm deeply in your debt."

"Happy to help, Zaalbar. But it wasn't a completely selfless act." She gave Mission a meaningful look. She couldn't afford being modest right now.

"Don't worry Grey, the promise still stands." The small thief moved to her best friend. "I promised to help Grey sneak into the Black Vulkar base in exchange for her help saving you."

"But why would you need to get in there?" Zaalbar asked in surprise. "There's nothing good in such a place."

Xana quickly explained her goal to the duo. The precarious situation her commander Bastila Shan was in and Gadon's offer to help them by letting her race in the big swoop race, in exchange for the retrieval of the prototype accelerator.

"Woah, that's so sad," Mission said when Xana was done. "Imagine being prisoner of those filthy scumbags."

"This sounds like a very dangerous plan," the Wookie growled slowly.

"Come on, Big-Z," the Twi'lek urged. "We can't leave that woman to her fate, can we?"

"All you have to do is take us to the entrance to the Vulkar Base," Xana pleaded. "After that you're free to continue on your own way."

Mission shook her head. "No can do. If we're helping you, we're helping you until the end." She gave the Wookie a sharp glance. "Right, Zaalbar?"

He regarded her for a moment, then nodded. "You saved our lives, so in turn we will help you recover your commander. Letting two flimsy humans rescue an important officer on their own doesn't seem like the best idea, so I'm at your service until this woman is safely in your care again."

Mission cheered happily and pulled the big Wookie in a hug. "I knew you'd help her Zaalbar."

Xana also smiled, from relieve and gratitude. "Thanks Zaalbar. It's not often that a Wookie decides to help humans."

"Nor does a human often rescue a lowlife Twi'lek and Wookie," he countered. "You might seem gruff and macho on the outside, you have a good heart."

"That's right," Mission agreed brightly. "Besides, you'll need our skills and knowledge of this world to succeed. Just deal with it boss, you're stuck with us for a while."

"Thanks guys," the scoundrel grinned sheepishly, unable to fully express her gratitude. "I appreciate it."

"Great! From now on we'll be Team Grey!" Mission seemed beyond herself in joy and tightly hugged her new boss.

Xana had her reservations about the sudden clingy behavior of the young girl. She knew a bit of her troubled past and feared she was going to be the one to fill the hole left by Zaerdra. She wasn't sure if she was ready for such responsibilities, but she figured she could at least teach the young girl a thing or two, to improve her chances of survival after they had to part again.

Regardless of her doubts she returned the hug, just to show her appreciation. The idea that these two skilled locals would be aiding them – even though they were just children – relieved much of her doubts. She felt a bit more confident in Bastila's successful retrieval.

When Mission released her, Xana checked in on the Wookie to see if he was fit to fight. Fortunately he wasn't injured, but his bowcaster had been taken away by the pigs. Just as they began searching the area for it, the group was surprised by a loud cry. It was deep and malicious and seemed to have traveled a long distance. It came echoing through the many pipes, distorting it and making it even more fearsome. Once the cry stopped, the four ashen faces watched each other uncertainly.

Xana was the first to regain her composure. "Whatever that was, it's fucking huge."

"That's the rancor," Mission said timidly.

A deep scowl settled on the lieutenant's face. "You've got to be kidding me, a rancor in the sewers? How's that even possible, those creatures are supposed to be massive."

"It was already here when I first got here with my brother," the small thief said. "It used to be able to navigate the pipes, but the idiot has grown so much that is trapped in one of the bigger halls."

"That won't make it any less deadly," Carth added grimly. "I've fought one during the Mandalorian Wars, it's a walking terror. A massive, muscled jaw on feet, with thickly armored skin. We must avoid it at all costs."

The Twi'lek shifted uncomfortably on her feet and eyed Zaalbar for help. "That would be a problem," the Wookie said. "The maintenance entrance to the Vulkar base is located in the hall where it lives. We have to get past it if we want to enter the base from down here."

"Oh, that's just fucking dandy," Xana sneered, unable to keep the anger out of her voice. "Don't go through the main entrance, you'll be killed right away," she mimicked in Gadon's voice, then continued in her own snarl, "The alternative is having your head bitten off in a dreary sewer. Fucker Thek, what else didn't he tell us?"

"Hey, don't talk crap about Gadon!" Mission said hotly. "Be glad he's giving you this chance, because without it you'd have zero chance of rescuing your friend. The front door is indeed suicide."

"And getting past a rancor isn't?" the scoundrel countered.

"Damn, I thought you were the one with confidence here. It's just a wild beast, not a dark Jedi or something." The blue girl pointed at Carth. "If an old man can fight it, so can we!"

The pilot frowned. "Don't get cheeky with me, you little brat." Mission stuck out her tongue to him from behind Xana's back. His frown deepened and he wanted to reprimand her, but Xana cut him off.

"You're right, Mission. We have a war veteran among us that has fought one before." She eyed him intently. "How can we defeat it?"

He got defensive. "That was under much different circumstances Grey. It was out in the open, not trapped in a tight hall like this one. The tactics we used there aren't going to help us here."

"So what _were_ your tactics?" Mission asked him curiously. "I've heard much heroic stories from the Wars, it must've been an epic fight, no?"

"Yeah… no…" Carth slowly answered. "We called in for an airstrike."

After an awkward silence the Twi'lek snorted and Xana shook her head in disbelieve. "So much for the _heroes_ of the Mandalorian Wars," she sneered.

That got Carth worked up. "Don't act like you know anything about war," he huffed, while pointing an accusing finger at the scoundrel. "While you were raiding defenseless vessels, we were risking our lives to defend the galaxy."

"How noble," the scoundrel smirked. "Then again, if I had the option of an airstrike right now I'd use it without second thought." She turned to the Twi'lek. "Always take the path of the least resistance."

The girl thought about that for a moment. "In that case we should try to sneak past it, instead of trying to kill it."

"Clever thinking," Xana complimented, causing a proud smile on the blue face. "But there's one problem," she continued with half an eye on the two men. "I don't know about yours, but my companion has the sneaking capabilities of a derailed freighter train."

"Hmm, I see your point. Zaalbar also isn't the sneakiest one." It was a bit of an understatement, imagining the massive Wookie sneaking around was humorous. "So what are we going to do, Grey?"

"We'll have to check out the situation to make a sound plan. I do know a thing or two about rancors, but without having all the information it's useless." She shot Carth a meaningful look. "I wish Onasi was a bit more useful on this matter, but what are you gonna do?"

"Sure, continue talking like I don't exist," the pilot grunted. "It's not like I really care, or anything."

"Onasi, we're talking _about_ you, not _with_ you," Xana taunted with a playful grin. "Besides, this wouldn't have happened if you were a real man and stopped depositing your problems on the woman. I swear I'm the most masculine one on this little errand."

"You are," Carth snapped. "And it's nothing to be proud off."

Mission giggled, unable to hide her entertainment of the quarreling duo. "Geez, I didn't know you two were a married couple, the way you're fighting all the time."

The pilot and the scoundrel awkwardly watched the thief, then each other. Xana was the first to smirk. "Even if I were straight he wouldn't have a chance."

"Oh, you're not…" The small thief faltered for a moment.

"No, I'm not. Is there a problem?" the lieutenant inquired.

"Of course not!" Mission exclaimed immediately. "Why would it be a problem?"

"You seemed a bit taken aback."

"Just surprised, is all. But it's totally coo… Wait a second!" It seemed like a light bulb had switched on inside the Twi'lek's head. "Are we rescuing your boss, or are we rescuing your _girlfriend_?" The smug look on the blue face betrayed that she was highly entertained by the deduction she had just made.

Carth snorted, but Xana raised a threatening finger to the girl. "Don't say such ridiculous things, Mission. The fact that you're willing to help us doesn't protect you from my wrath should you be stupid and offensive."

"Tee hee hee, the big, coolheaded warrior is in love," the thief laughed in a singsong voice.

Xana shook her head and sighed. "Don't push your luck, unless you want to be fired."

The blue alien stuck out her tongue. "Whatever, General Grumpy."

"That's _Lieutenant_ Grumpy for you," Xana rebuked quasi-offended, but with a small smirk. She found the cheerful kid to be uplifting instead of annoying. "Besides, I'm in the navy, so it would be Admiral Grumpy, not General Grumpy."

"You're the goddess of warfare and they only made you lieutenant?" Mission asked in disbelieve. "No wonder the Republic is losing to the Sith."

"How did you figure that one out?" Carth asked darkly.

"By looking around?" Mission asked like it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. "I mean, this world is a pretty good example of the poor job the Republic is doing… and you hear stories of planets falling to the Sith everywhere."

"Lies," the pilot said. "Sith propaganda meant to indoctrinate the common folk."

"Oh, come on," the Twi'lek exclaimed hotly. "This entire planet is going to hell and you want me to believe the Republic has full control of the situation? Maybe _you_ are the one who is indoctrinated."

Xana recognized the look in Carth's eyes, the look that betrayed that he was going into full defense mode. Allowing him to vent to the girl wasn't going to improve relations in the group, so she decided to intervene. She pulled him away by the shoulder and gave him a no-bullshit look. "Discussing this with her won't change anything."

He looked annoyed. "Is it really okay to let her have this twisted viewpoint on the Republic?"

"I'll talk to her," Xana offered. "Why don't you help Zaalbar find his bowcaster?" He seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, but then slowly nodded. With a final look at the Twi'lek he slouched off.

"What a prick," Mission growled once he was out of sight.

"He's not so bad once you get to know him." The raven-haired woman knew she shouldn't allow these two to become enemies, since she needed them both. Trust and loyalty were extremely important. "Just don't insult his precious Republic."

"But I'm right, right? The Republic _is_ losing to the Sith."

"Well, they certainly aren't winning," the scoundrel sighed. "But to say they're outright losing would be a bit too much."

Mission studied her with a curious expression. "You keep saying _they_. Like you're not a part of them."

"True… I didn't exactly volunteer to join them." The girl's curious expression intensified and Xana knew she had some explaining to do. "I had a choice. Either rot my entire life in prison, or join the navy and try to make the best out of it."

"Oh, so you're a criminal?" It was more like a statement than an accusation.

"So are you," Xana countered, feeling slightly awkward. She didn't want the girl to think less of her.

"I became one out of necessity," Mission said smartly. "What's your excuse?"

"I forgot," the scoundrel replied honestly.

"Lamest… excuse… _ever_!" The small thief sounded offended. "You don't have to be ashamed of your past, you know? You're back on the good track after all."

"No, you don't understand. I _really_ forgot. I have a severe case of amnesia. Lost all my memories when I got caught in a massive explosion on a failed raid. That's… what they told me at least."

"Oh." Mission took a moment to process that information. "That's totally balls, commander. You can't remember anything at all?"

"Nope, it's all black." For what felt like the millionth time the lieutenant tried to find a trace of her past, only to be disappointed again.

"Wow, that must be so hard," the thief said compassionately. "Isn't there anything to do to get 'em back?"

"Nope, there isn't a definite method," Xana muttered. "Fragments might return, triggered by strong psychological events or by returning to places I've visited in the past. But nobody knows where I came from, or where I've been… and it's a big galaxy. I'd be very lucky if anything returns at all, so all I can do is hope."

Mission smiled kindly. "Lemme know if there's anything I can do to help. Y'know, even if you just need someone to talk to."

Xana gratefully returned the smile. "Thanks Mission, I really appreciate it."

"That's what your grunts are for." The girl smiled impishly. "Right, Commander?"

"Now you're just being annoying," Xana smirked. "Anyway, let's find the hairy monkey and Zaalbar, so we can be on our way."

Mission nodded. "Yeah, let's go safe your _girlfriend_."

Xana grinned, but shook her head and decided not to comment.

* * *

After the group had recovered Zaalbar's bowcaster, they set off into the massive network of sewers. Their pace was incredibly high, thanks to Mission's knowledge of the area. She knew the location of the larger pockets of enemies and smartly avoided them. This way they only had to deal with strays, which gave them easy pickings. Especially Zaalbar was a huge asset here, as his massive bowcaster packed an even more massive punch.

After about half an hour they found their way blocked by a blue shimmering force field. "Why the hell is there a thing like this down here?" Xana asked as she approached the nearby console that she hoped would control the field.

"Dunno," Mission answered. She leaned against the wall and studied Xana, who was furiously trying to hack the terminal. She chuckled when the scoundrel let out a frustrated growl. "You're not going to get through like this Grey. It runs on an ancient OS that you won't find anywhere else in the galaxy."

"And I take it you know how to hack it?" the scoundrel asked, a bit annoyed by the clever young girl.

"Nope," the thief answered with a knowing smile.

Xana moved in front of Mission and folded her arms. "Then why lead us here?"

"Because I've got the access codes," she grinned smartly, but her smile quickly faltered after seeing Xana's annoyed glare directed at her. "Jeez, you're no fun at all."

"Just get us through already, jackass. The sooner we leave this shithole, the better."

"Like I said, no fun at all," Mission pouted, as she entered the access code. The force field shimmered for a moment and vanished. "There ya go, boss."

Xana patted the girl's shoulder as a sign of thank you, but inquisitor Carth wasn't so grateful. "Do we even want to know how you got those codes?"

"Well, I _am_ a thief and everything…"

He shook his head. "Right… forget I asked."

Xana turned to the pilot. "See Carth, a little thieving is helping us save Bastila."

"Yeah, yeah," he grunted. "I'm sure they'll make a statue for two such noble criminals."

"That's not even such a bad idea," Xana grinned. She stroked the tightfitting combat suit. "I wouldn't even look half bad on it."

"Eww, and all those dirty old men who'd drool over it," Mission snorted. "Besides, wouldn't you rather keep a low profile?"

The scoundrel shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with a bit of fame."

"I'm sure you'll get very famous once you're back in your scoundrel ways," Carth sarcastically noted.

"That's because you've got no fantasy," she mused. "Imagine becoming the head of the Exchange, blackmailing the Jedi Council, or assassinating Malak."

Carth snorted. "Like you'd even be able to get close to him."

"Getting close would be the easy part," the Twi'lek thought aloud, eager to impress the scoundrel again. "But killing him? Probably impossible for someone without the Force."

The scoundrel gave the problem some serious thought. "A dagger to the throat would kill everyone, even a Sith Lord. But yeah, highly impossible thanks to his Force senses. He'd see it coming from yards away and simply fry your brain."

"In his sleep, maybe?" the thief suggested. "Although I'm not sure if Jedi actually sleep."

"I thought they mostly meditated. Damn, this is harder than I thought."

"Why are you even discussing this?" an annoyed Carth grunted. "Leave it up to the Jedi Council to deal with it."

Xana let out a dry snort. "Sure, let's trust the Council to deal with it. After all they did such a remarkably assertive job stopping the Mandalorians."

The pilot rolled his eyes. "Stupid of me, should've known you'd respond like this." A lopsided grin curled around Xana's lips as she spotted his annoyance, but to her surprise he didn't allow himself being provoked again. Instead he opted to change subjects. "Who taught you your skills anyway?" he asked the Twi'lek. "Reprogramming that droid, sneaking around these sewers, stealing those codes… You're pretty handy for a… young lady."

"It was my brother Griff," she answered proudly. "Back in the day it was just me and him together. Everyone considered us trash, so we had to take care of our own." She chuckled fondly. "Well, it was him taking care of me, most of the time. Came up with some pretty ingenious ways of making money. He taught me everything he knew."

"Why isn't he with you right now?" the pilot inquired curiously.

Mission got defensive. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Alright, alright, sorry I asked."

"I'm just glad he did such a good job training you," Xana told her to cheer her up.

"Me too," the Twi'lek nodded. "But it was Zaerdra who taught me how to fight. After my brother… left… she took me in. She's awesome, but don't you dare piss her off." She hung her head in shame.

Zaalbar saw the sadness of his friend and placed his massive claw on her shoulder. "Stop blaming yourself for that all the time," he growled. "It's her fault for shunning you and not giving you a second chance. She misses out on the kindest Twi'lek of whole Taris."

That put a small smile back on her face. "Thanks Big-Z."

Xana also smiled from this unexpected side of the big Wookie. "You're a pretty thoughtful guy, Zaalbar," she remarked.

He growled something inaudibly, and the thief answered for him. "He's a bit introverted and shy, but once you get to know him he's awesome." Mission gave the Wookie a kind smile.

Xana couldn't help but grin. "You seem like an impossible couple. How did this came to be?"

"I rescued her from a group of gangsters," the Wookie growled immediately.

"No way, it was the other way around," Mission exclaimed. "You were getting your ass whipped by those Prowlin' Panthers remember?"

"You are mistaken, Mission. I can remember it clear as day, _I_ was the hero that day." There seemed to be a bit of amusement in his voice.

The Twi'lek sighed. "Big-Z thinks it's the task of the man to protect the woman, while most of the time it's _me_ keeping _him_ out of trouble."

Xana eyed Carth and smirked. Apparently he knew exactly what she was going to say, because he quickly held up his hands. "Hey, I saved you from that psychotic Sith woman, didn't I?"

Her stomach did a little flip when she thought back of that mess. "Yeah," she said hoarsely. Without another word or even looking back to her team she stepped through the inactive force field. Mission shot Carth an angry look and walked after her, but didn't dare asking what was wrong. Carth sighed and also followed, aware that his comment hadn't been very tactful. Zaalbar took up the rear again, feeling slightly uncomfortable by the sudden tension.

As they navigated the sewers in silence, a glint caught Xana's eye. She told the others to wait, as she investigated the source. It turned out to be the remains of a Sith soldier. His body was grotesque, his head was completely gone and the limbs were chewed off by some kind of animal. Traces of blood indicated that it had been pulled down here, possibly all the way from the Undercity. The scoundrel reluctantly searched the body, hoping to find a certain valuable medicine.

In one of the pockets she found what she was looking for: a small strongbox with a single syringe in it. The box had protected it, the syringe was in pristine condition. She showed the object to her teammates. "Rakghoul serum."

"Nice one, Grey," Carth congratulated. "The doctor can help a lot of people with that single dose."

"Or we could sell it to the Exchange for a nice amount of credits," Xana countered.

"Surely you're joking," Mission said. "Making money over a horrible disease like this? That's just plain evil."

The scoundrel carefully placed the strongbox in her inner pocket. "Maybe… but what if our lives depend on the money?"

"They don't," Carth defended. "I'd say give it to the doctor, that way it won't go to waste."

"I agree," Mission added fiercely. "There's thousands of ways of making money without destroying the lives of all those sick people."

"Hey I'm not the Dark Lord. I'm just doing everything to make this mission succeed, while keeping you lot alive and safe."

The Twi'lek grabbed Xana's arm affectionately. "You're kind. But don't be kind by doing evil, because that's just too weird… even for you."

Xana smiled and patted the girl's head. "So I'm weird now, am I?"

Mission grinned impishly. "Are you implying you aren't?"

"Well… that's err… Forget it, I'm not even touching that question."

"At least you're smiling again, General Grumpy," the Twi'lek said with the sweetest of smiles.

"Yeah… that's right." Xana indeed felt a bit better than before, the girl had managed to take away the heavy gloom that was pressing down on her. "Just remember who's in charge here," she warned. "Or else this might end in tears."

"Yes boss!" Mission said with a salute. "How about we go tackle that rancor?"

"My idea exactly. Let's go."

* * *

**A/N:** _I haven't forgotten about Zaalbar's life-debt, it just felt out of place and a bit forced to include it right here. It's going to be added in a later stage, don't worry._


	8. Hidden Beast

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Seven**

**Hidden Beast**

* * *

Mission was nervously staring at Grey's back, who was investigating the massive hall in front of them. Her new boss had been rather pissed when she found out about a rancor blocking their way and the Twi'lek was worried that the woman somehow blamed her. It was a silly, childish thought of course… it wasn't her fault that the predator had decided to park its fat butt in front of the Vulkar base. But Mission really liked the Republic Lieutenant and wanted to make absolutely sure she wasn't going to be abandoned for the third time.

The human turned around and eyed each of her three teammates with a grim look. But Mission could also see a glint in her bright green eyes, a glint that betrayed she was getting hyped up for the challenge and maybe even enjoying it. "That's one ugly fuck," she said dryly. Mission smiled internally, Grey reminded her strongly of Zaerdra; a beautiful woman with a no-bullshit attitude using coarse language. It was a weird, but she felt very safe in her presence.

Carth breathed a sigh. "For a master linguistic you sure have a way with words. So how are we going to do this?"

"If killing it is our goal, we're going to need a big enough explosion." It was Zaalbar who had taken the word. "Its skin is thickly armored, but it's the thinnest on its belly. That's where you need to aim."

"Maybe I can sneak up from behind and lay a minefield underneath?" Mission suggested, eager to put her two cents in as well. "Toss in a grenade and watch it burn!"

Grey considered that for a moment, but shook her head. "Rancors have the smell of a bloodhound. It will notice you, even if you're under the cover of a stealth field."

"But it's fast as well," the thief pointed out. "The four of us will never get enough hits in before it reaches us."

"Is it truly necessary to kill it?" Carth asked. "If we can distract it for a while we might be able to sneak past." He shot Grey a meaningful look. "Even someone with the sneaking capabilities of a derailed freighter train."

Grey smirked. "You're not sulking about that little joke, are you? I mean, you've got plenty of talents, but sneaking isn't one of them." The guy merely shrugged and Grey gave Mission a quick wink, before turning more serious. "So, luring it away… How are we going to do that?"

"Didn't you say it has the smell of a bloodhound?" Mission asked. "Why don't we find a big, juicy corpse and drop it in the opposite corner? It'll keep him distracted long enough for us to reach the other side."

Carth gave her a thoughtful nod. "That might just work. We killed a few Gamorreans not too far back. We can cut a few chunks of meat and feed it to big daddy."

"Excellent idea, Mission," Grey complimented with a genuine smile. Mission could feel her cheeks burn from the compliment, her fear that the moody lieutenant was blaming her for anything had indeed been childish. "Let's go get some beef."

After Grey gave the word they quickly backtracked to the dead aliens. Zaalbar was the one with the strongest stomach, so they elected him to slice a few bleeding pieces of meat from the corpses. There was a bit of discussion who would be the one to deliver the meat to the other side of the large hall. Mission wanted to do it, not just to prove her skills to Grey, but also because she was the fastest of the group. Grey would have nothing of it, though.

"Definitely not," she said with folded arms. "I'm not going to let you risk your life."

"But Grey!" Mission nearly whined.

The lieutenant raised a finger to shut her up. "I'm going in there with the meat, end of story. As your senior your safety is my responsibility."

"Fine," the girl huffed. Part of her was relieved that Grey would be the one to do the most dangerous job. After all she wasn't made for heroic deeds. She wasn't a coward, not at all, but she wasn't one to jump into the fray first either. Grey raised an eyebrow seeing her reaction, but didn't question it. Instead they returned to the rancor's hall.

The hall itself was massive. Mission had always wondered about its purpose, but had never been able to give herself a satisfactory answer. That bothered her, because she always wanted to figure out how stuff worked. The hall was rectangular with a tapered section at the end, like a giant funnel. They were standing in a corner on the far end, the rancor was standing in the smallest section of the funnel. It hadn't noticed them yet, instead it was standing around doing nothing, staring at the door they had to go through.

The scoundrel went over the plan. "I'm going to slip on my stealth field and deliver this meat to that corner. I'll run straight back here once it's dropped. Once the beast starts devouring it, we all make a run for the door. Hug the wall and pray to whatever entity that cares to keep us safe. Do _not_ under any circumstances deviate from the plan or do anything stupid. Any questions?"

"This is probably a very stupid idea," Carth slowly said with a grim frown. "But I don't have any other suggestions, so we might as well get on with it." The two of them gave each other a curt nod. "Good luck, Grey."

She gave him a reassuring smile. "Thanks Onasi. But don't worry, I've got my scoundrel's luck to keep me safe." Mission wanted to comment on the dangers of overconfidence, but the human had already slipped on her stealth field and rushed off to the other side.

Mission was pretty proud of her idea, in her mind it was bloody marvelous and stupid Carth should just stop talking crap about it. But when Grey put her plan into action, it didn't take very long for her to realize what he had meant. Indeed, after a few seconds she wholeheartedly agreed with him.

Grey had hardly left the safety of the corridor or the massive beast began to stir. Attracted by the smell of fresh blood it heaved its massive head in the air, no doubt to locate the source of the delicious odor. Way too fast for a predator of its size it turned around, growling deeply as it was searching for his meal. It took a leap that sent vibrations through the floor and started running.

The girl saw the bleeding flesh being dropped in the corner, but to her terror realized the rancor was way too close already. Grey was never going to make it back in time. Her first reaction was to run after her boss, but Carth firmly held her back. She shot him a murderous glare, but he didn't notice because he was too busy trying to shoot the beast in the face, in an attempt to lure it away from Grey.

* * *

There's a slight difference between reading about something and experiencing it in real life. Sure, Xana had read about the supposed speed of the rancor, but no one ever told her such a massive creature could be _this_ fast.

It was halfway across the hall when she dropped the bleeding piece of meat, even closer when she had fully turned around to make a run for it. In the adrenaline-induced slow-motion she noticed an ashen faced Carth, who was holding Mission back with one hand and shooting his blaster with the other. "To the exit!" she bellowed to the trio. She didn't understand why they were wasting their time there.

From the corner of her eye she saw the rancor. Her heart skipped a few beats when she noticed it wasn't going for the meat, but for the lively prey instead. A quick look down told her the stealth field had worn off and that her clothes were drenched in blood, explain why the rancor was so interested in her. She silently cursed her own stupidity, the second grave mistake in the span of a day. _Think things through next time, you stupid cunt._

Much time to ponder her errors she didn't have, the rancor was already on her. Thanks to her swift reflexes she could avoid the first bite by making a quick roll. She heard the massive jaw snap shut on the spot where she had just been, and saw a flash of its massive, pointed teeth. There was no question about it, should she get caught in between those jaws she'd be ripped in half.

The rancor watched the wall dumbly for a moment, probably wondering why its beak was empty while it was certain it had caught its prey. A barrage of blasterfire hitting its head added to its confusion, both Carth and Mission were firing their blasters in an attempt to distract it. In the meantime Zaalbar was running towards the center of the room. For a moment Xana thought he was going to bail, but when looking him over she realized what he was trying to do.

His long fur was still drenched in the Gamorrean's blood from when he had been cutting the corpses. The rancor now had three strong traces to follow, of which two were moving. Xana had used the moment of confusion to run onward, back to her team. She wildly motioned them to make a run for the exit and had to make a quick duck to avoid a grenade that Carth had thrown at the monster.

The beast didn't notice, because he was now targeting the delicious smelling Wookie. Again it surprised the group by making a leap at Zaalbar, skipping out of the grenade's explosive range in a single step. The Wookie looked back with an expression of pure horror and Mission let out a terrified scream. The rancor was at biting distance and going in for the kill, until the harmless but loud explosion of the grenade distracted him. It goofily turned its massive head to see what had made the noise.

This gave Mission, Carth and Xana the opportunity to gain a few yards across the massive hall. The scoundrel screamed violently at the Wookie, urging him to make a run for it as well. As soon as he started running Xana realized he was never going to make it. The rancor was hot on his tail again and determined to get his prey this time.

Zaalbar came to the same conclusion and howled at the trio, "You go on without me, I'll distract him."

It took a moment to process what he had just said, but then the horrifying truth dawned to her. The Wookie turned around to face the rancor, bowcaster in hand. He was planning to sacrifice his life to allow the others to get away. Mission screamed at her best friend, her face contorted in the most pained expression Xana had ever seen. Seeing the girl in this state nearly tore her apart.

"Oh no you don't," the scoundrel growled. "Not on my watch." She wasn't going to let someone who had volunteered to help her sacrifice his life. Like a feline on the hunt she changed her trajectory and went for the rancor. _She wasn't going to make it._ The beast was standing in front of the Wookie, who was firmly standing his ground. The rancor opened his mouth, in a few seconds the Wookie would be dead.

Her mind blanked and sheer determination took over. Every single fiber of her existence propelled her onto the vicious beast. Her body was being boosted to the very limit, her mind pushed it even further, beyond what was physically possible. Time ground down to a halt and the universe was stripped bare to its very core, until there was just her and the rancor.

* * *

Mission felt the ground fading beneath her. Her best friend, her only friend, her Big-Z… he was planning on killing himself to protect her… protect _them_. The big, hairy softy… why did he have to do this? Why did he have to be the goody-two-shoes and why couldn't he just be a selfish creature and save himself?

She saw the scene playing out in slow-motion. Zaalbar dropping his bowcaster and pointing his vibrosword at the massive creature, a hopeless last stance. The rancor, coiling up like a snake, ready to make the final assault. Grey, running towards the rancor, saber in hand, but hopelessly far away, too far to make a difference. Bile entered her mouth as the horrible truth dawned to her. Her best friend was going to die. And there was nothing she could do to stop it.

Just as tears started streaming and her heart felt like it was being torn apart, the impossible happened. Grey took a leap so massive that Mission doubted it was even humanly possible. In one hand she had her vibrosaber, in the other a dagger. In a single, fluid motion she rammed the dagger in the rancor's flank, using it to propel herself onto the creature's neck.

Graciously she crouched in a stable position from which she could raise the saber behind her head. With two hands she drove the sharp blade through its spine, tearing through the marrow and nerves running through it. In sheer agony the beast threw back its head and let out a horrible cry, exposing its vulnerable throat to Zaalbar, who quickly recovered from shock and took his chance. With a single stroke he gashed open the windpipe and artery.

With its head effectively separated from the body, there was nothing keeping the mighty beast up anymore. It fell to the floor, its head crashing down with a sickening crunch. Zaalbar stepped out of its path, while Grey jumped off its back just before it hit the ground, breaking her fall with a gracious roll. The rancor let out one last whimper, before life finally left its massive body. Deafening silence filled the hall, as the four people tried to comprehend what had just happened.

For a moment Mission was simply stunned from shock. But when the Wookie turned around to give her the thumbs up it began to dawn to her that her best friend was not dead. Relief washed over her like a warm bath and all her muscles relaxed. She ran to the hairy Wookie and grabbed him in a tight embrace. When he returned the hug she could feel he was trembling. "You're alive," Mission whispered hoarsely.

"Thanks to Grey," he whimpered. Both of them looked at the scoundrel. Her olive face had turned a few shades greyer and she looked just as shocked and surprised as they were.

The lieutenant moved towards the duo. "I-I don't know what to say," she muttered, seemingly ashamed. "You were ready to sacrifice your life for us. I'm… sorry for being such a crappy leader."

"What are you talking about?" Mission exclaimed hotly. She couldn't understand what was going on in that raven haired head right now. "You just saved all our lives by risking your own." She released her Wookie friend and grabbed the human woman in a tight hug. "Without you, Big-Z would be…" Her voice broke.

"Thanks, Grey," muttered Zaalbar weakly. He was slowly regaining his composure. "You are truly a bright star on the firmament."

When Grey kept the uncertain expression Carth gave her a firm clasp on the shoulder. "You did good here, Grey." She wanted to say something, but the pilot shook his head. "I know you're accusing yourself of a whole slew of errors, but you did nothing wrong. Quite the contrary, your acrobatics have impressed us all."

"He's right, boss." Mission beamed her a bright smile from her position between Grey's arms. "You're the hero, you saved the day. None of us though the fat bastard would be so fast, so don't blame yourself for it. You made up for it in an awesome way!"

A slight smile curled around the lieutenant's lips and she gently squeezed the girl against her. Mission was glad to see some of the color returning to her face. Grey's bright green eyes turned to Zaalbar. "Are you alright?"

"A bit shaken. I thought I was done for, for sure. How did you…?"

Xana sported the shadow of a cocky grin. "Didn't I promise to keep you lot safe? You can call me a lot, but I'm certainly not a liar."

The thief was glad her boss could laugh again and felt her own spirits lifted as well. With Grey around they could do anything, she was sure of that. "You're the best, boss!" She released the woman and went to give Zaalbar another hug, just because she was still able to. "I'm so happy that we're all still alive."

"So am I," the pilot concurred, before turning to the boss. "The way into the base is clear. Shall we?"

* * *

Xana slowly moved through the Black Vulkar base, with Mission trailing close behind. They had decided to leave Carth and Zaalbar at the entrance for now, giving them the opportunity to sneak around the base in silence. She knew she had to focus, but there was a lot occupying her mind. The fight with the rancor and Zaalbar's near death had thoroughly shaken her awake.

It might be unfair to lay the entire blame by herself. Everyone on her team knew the dangers of the mission; they knew exactly what they had signed up for. But Mission and Zaalbar were just children, unable to fully comprehend the dangers. As such, it was Xana's responsibility to protect them.

Sure, if Zaalbar had followed her orders he would never have been in any danger, but could you really expect a kid to follow orders to the letter under such terrifying circumstances? Part of her thought it was best to just send the two kids away, but she also knew that she needed them. She found herself in a cruel dilemma.

Realizing just what she was thinking made her smirk. _Xana Grey_ taking responsibility over a bunch of brats? If someone had told her that a few days ago she would've laughed him in the face. It had taken just a few days of being pushed outside her everyday routine to discover completely new sides of her. It was a refreshing experience that she admittedly enjoyed, just as much as discovering the limits of her own body.

Two guards strolled by, making her mind return to the task at hand. Mission and she had managed to sneak all the way to the main hall without being noticed. Xana was going at a brisk pace, not bothering to thoroughly investigate every single room. She was tired, all the stress and running around had drained her. Frankly all she wanted right now was a hot meal, a hot shower, a few soothing hours at the workbench and finally a good night's rest. She had to force herself to stay concentrated.

Looking into the main hall she found the security terminal she was looking for. This console was supposed to control the entire compound, or so the Hidden Beks had told her. Last night she had spent some time probing them for as much information on the base as possible. She had found out that an elevator would lead them into the garage, but it was guarded by defense turrets. In order to reach the elevator she had to deactivate those first, or they'd be blasted into bits.

As she studied the situation she was a bit surprised by the low amount of grunts in the compound, she had expected to find a lot more. It certainly wasn't like the bustling Hidden Beks base, where you couldn't even fart without at least five blasters being pointed at you. Either the Vulkars were horribly understaffed, or something big was going on elsewhere. They mostly encountered patrol droids, which were easily disabled by the silent duo.

Xana ordered Mission into an abandoned room, so they could discuss their next plan of action. "Alright, here's the deal," she whispered to the thief. "We need to access that security terminal in the main hall to disable the turrets at the elevator. Without disabling those, we'd be toast if we try to enter the garage."

"But if anyone spots us killing gangsters, the entire building will be alarmed," Mission pointed out.

"Exactly." Xana handed the thief one of her spare daggers. "Know how to kill silently with one of these?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Grey, please. That's second nature to me."

"Good, then here's what we'll do. We'll do a quick sweep of the main hall to rid of everything that moves. I only saw three or four guys in there, so it should be easy. When they're dead, you hack into the terminal, while I drag the corpses out of sight and keep an eye out for possible hostiles. Got it?"

Mission nodded once and the duo immediately set off into the main hall, taking care the grunts with cold-blooded efficiency. The Vulkars were too occupied with themselves to notice the danger coming from behind. Xana realized that the young Twi'lek showed little remorse or disgust; she sliced the gangster's throats in a distanced manner. She figured it came from growing up in a harsh environment, where things like mercy and pity simply weren't taught. Kill or get killed.

After the last body dropped to the floor Mission immediately started working her magic on the terminal, while Xana began moving the corpses out of sight. They were heavier than she had anticipated, so she settled for dragging them in a dark corner behind a stack of boxes. She also made sure to grab as much valuables from their corpses as possible; they could come in handy in the future.

When she was done she returned to the thief, who was still furiously working on the terminal. "I've disabled the defenses at the elevator," she said smugly. "I can also upload the blueprints of the entire building to your datapad. And here comes the best part…" With a few more flicks on the console a door behind them opened, leading them to a small room in the center of the main hall. "Full access to the armory," Mission announced proudly. "Knock yourself out with those goodies."

"Great job, Mission," Xana complimented with a happy grin. She rewarded the girl with a pat on the shoulder, before entering the small vault. Her eyes nearly fell out when she saw the stuff that was in there. A disruptor rifle designed to rip through shields, a vibration cell that she could use to improve her vibrosaber and a finely weaved mesh that could be worn under a set of armor for added protection. And then there were the usual grenades, mines, blasters and medpacks. All in all a very nice haul. Xana couldn't help but smirk as she helped herself with the loot.

After Xana had indulged in her scoundrelic pleasures, the duo went to pick up Carth and Zaalbar. The lieutenant didn't feel much like entering the garage without them, as they didn't know what they'd find there. When her team was complete again they headed for the elevator. They didn't meet any resistance, the patrol droids were all disabled and the gangsters were still strangely absent.

The elevator dropped them off directly in the garage, where they were immediately noticed by a large number of gangsters who wasted no time to go for their blasters. "Duck!" Xana bellowed, as she dropped for cover herself. A massive blasterfight ensued. The gangsters had the upper hand in numbers, but they were just grunts with barely any weapons training. Xana and Carth on the other hand were trained marines and Mission and Zaalbar also knew how to fend for themselves. The gangsters went down rather quickly, even those that had been streaming in from the various corridors.

Xana disarmed one of the last guys and grabbed him from behind, placing her dagger against his throat in the process. "You have three seconds to tell where the prototype accelerator is," she whispered darkly in his ear.

For a moment he tried to struggle, but then felt the blade cutting dangerously in his skin. "K…Kandon Ark has it in his office."

"Kandon Ark's office, hmm? And just where might I find the office of that cocksucker?" To empower her words she pushed the dagger a bit deeper into his flesh.

"Aah, don't kill me, please! It's through that door over there." The gangster pointed to a door on the long wall of the garage. "Go left twice at the end of the corridor and you're there."

"Good boy, you've been very helpful," the scoundrel sneered. "But I hope you realize keeping you alive will endanger me and my companions, so…" With a single stroke she cut the gangster's throat. "…sweet dreams."

"That's cruel," Carth commented with a disgusted face as he approached the scoundrel. Every threat in the garage had been eliminated. "But no loose ends, I give you that."

"It's just a gangster," Mission countered. "Nobody is going to mourn his loss."

"I've given as much mercy as he would've given me, end of discussion." Xana pointed at the door. "The accelerator is through there. Let's go, before more scumbags arrive."

They quickly found the office without encountering more enemies. The scoundrel activated her stealth field before entering the room, just in case, but it turned out to be unnecessary. The room was empty, except for the engine lying on a desk at the back of the office. She had been given a thorough description of the prototype by the Hidden Beks' mechanics, so she was absolutely sure this was the correct one. Just as she was about to pick it up she heard footsteps behind her.

When their entire team spun on their heels they saw a group of six gangsters entering. They were led by a green Twi'lek, who casually clapped his hands. "Congratulations. Impressive display of skill, getting so far inside our base. You have my commendations."

"Why, thank you fine chap," the scoundrel grinned. "And just who might you be?"

"The name's Kandon Ark. Supervisor of the grand garage you just so skillfully relieved of its mechanics."

The scoundrel's grin only widened. "What can I say? It's a gift."

"I should've known that the small war just outside our door was merely a distraction by the Hidden Beks. An interesting tactic to steal our accelerator, lucky for me I saw through it just in time."

"Ah, so that's why your base was nearly abandoned," the raven-haired woman mused. "I nearly thought I was dealing with some hobby club, not an organized band of gangsters."

"Wait, I recognize you," Ark suddenly said. "You're that new arena champion. What the hell are you doing working for those filthy Beks?"

"Frankly that's none of your fucking business."

"Hey, calm down. I just thought we might be able to work out a deal," the garage supervisor said with his palms raised. "I hate seeing useful individuals die a pointless death. What about it, want to do some work in exchange for your and your companion's lives?"

The scoundrel sighed and drew her vibrosaber. "Why don't you stick that fake pity of yours up your ass? I'm sure it'll care a damn lot more than I do."

The Twi'lek looked a bit surprised. "It's six against four, you're not seriously thinking about fighting us, are you?"

"You're facing a Wookie, war veteran, thief from birth and seriously pissed off scoundrel. We've also just had a nice warming up round with that rancor that used to live on your doorstep." She pointed her saber at the gangster. "If you're still so confident, bring it on."

His earlier confidence had vanished a bit, but that didn't stop him from drawing his vibrosword, just like the woman next to him did. The four other gangsters drew their blasters.

Her own team got ready as well, Zaalbar went as far as to fire his massive bowcaster right in the face of a gangster before the others even had the time to respond. Suffice to say the Vulkar didn't stand a chance. Carth went for his dual blasters and jumped behind the desk, where Mission had already taken refuge. Xana engaged Ark in melee combat. His ladyfriend also tried to engage the scoundrel with her sword, but Zaalbar prevented that by smashing the butt of his bowcaster in her face. The woman stumbled back, allowing Xana a fair fight with Ark.

While the two were crossing blades, Mission and Carth were locked in a furious blasterfight with the three remaining gangsters. They had to take care not to hit their commander or Zaalbar, who had decided to use his vibrosword to fight off the woman who had earlier tried to team up on the scoundrel.

In retrospect the gangsters never had a chance to begin with. They had the wit and skill of a nine-year old and that was being generous. Ark's skill with the blade was a laugh, Xana saw through all his moves and countered accordingly. The only thing working to his advantage were his nice gadgets, which protected him for a while. But it didn't take her very long to place the killing blow.

Zaalbar's fight was even easier, since he could rely on his superior strength. He simply overwhelmed the woman and ended her life. Carth proved as deadly with the blasters as always. He was highly effective with them; Xana had to give him that. Mission could also fend for herself, although she wasn't as good as the pilot.

Once all gangsters were taken care off, Xana grinned. "That was easy, wasn't it?"

"A little too easy," Carth agreed. "Or maybe it just felt like a breeze after that rancor."

Mission stifled a yawn. "So can we go home now? I feel like I could sleep for a year."

Xana grabbed the engine – which was surprisingly light – and gave it to Zaalbar to carry. She also scavenged the bodies of the dead gangsters, who had been carrying a lot of gadgets with them. When she was satisfied she turned to her crew. "Yeah, let's return to the Beks base. It's been a long day."


	9. Congregating Paths

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Eight**

**Congregating Paths**

* * *

Only when the door of the Hidden Beks base shut close behind her Xana allowed herself to relax. The streets between the two bases had been locked in an all-out war. It had been complete anarchy, with different gangs fighting each other and even the Sith interfering. _Truly the icing on the cake of such a splendid day_, she thought sarcastically.

Gadon greeted the group by the door, looking hyped up. "Ah, Saber! I was wondering what took you so long. Do you have the prototype?" When Zaalbar stepped forward to show him the engine, his face lit up. "Excellent." He called to someone in the back. "Eddy! Get your ass over here, your toy is recovered."

A gruff looking human came hurrying towards them. His eyes sparked up once he saw the engine. "Look at that there baby, all intact an' everything." He grabbed the engine from the Wookie and caressed it like it was a little baby. "Those filthy Vulkars didn't hurt ye, did they?"

Gadon rolled his eyes. "Can you get it working before the race?"

Eddy snorted. "Please, I'm the god damn mechanic magician. Totally no trust in my capabilities, have they?" He was addressing the prototype like it was a sentient being. As he walked away he kept mumbling to it, as if he were having a nice conversation.

"That was… weird," Xana mused. She turned back to the gang leader. "So that battle outside was your doing?"

"We were afraid you had met a little too much resistance inside the base, so we called a few friendly gangs and orchestrated a nice battle right on their doorstep." The guy made it sound like it was glorious. "Even the Sith decided to join us, it was epic. I can imagine you found the base rather empty."

"It was, except for some guy named Kandon Ark." She stroked the grip of her saber. "Was the last time he bothered someone though."

The boss looked impressed. "He must've been a tough opponent, he used to be one of my best generals."

"He was a breeze compared to some of the shit we had to go through." The lieutenant couldn't keep some accusation out of her voice.

Gadon merely shrugged. "I never said it was going to be easy." He hadn't, and Xana was too tired to make a fuss about it. "But I'm extremely impressed that you made it and I'm a man of my word, so you'll be racing the modified swoop bike tomorrow. Got any experience riding one?"

She shook her head. "Nope. I've had some basic vehicle training, but nothing like a bike."

"Then I'll send some of my guys to fetch you tomorrow morning, once things have settled down. They'll show you the ropes and give you a few hours with a bike to get acquainted to it."

"Thanks, that would be useful."

Gadon turned to leave. "Like before all facilities of my base are open to you. Get a shower, meal and some rest so you'll be ready for the big race."

* * *

Xana had just taken a hot shower and was now sitting in the base's mess, enjoying some hot grub. Okay, it wasn't great, but it was warm and nutritious and had at least _some_ taste to it. She was sitting on her own. Mission and Zaalbar had left for the cantina, probably to celebrate the fact that they were still alive, and she didn't know where Carth was. It was alright, eating in silence.

Her silence was interrupted by Zaerdra, who had decided to take the seat in front of her. "I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off."

An annoyed Xana looked up. "Hello to you, too."

For a moment the beautiful Twi'lek looked confused. "Oh, right, hello… But seriously, you must be something else."

The scoundrel shrugged. "I had help. Like from this awesome little Twi'lek girl that somehow got abandoned by the only woman she looked up to."

Zaerdra shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I have no obligations to keep that thieving brat around."

"What did she even steal from you?" Xana asked vehemently. "Was it so valuable that it was worth ruining her life?"

"I never ruined her life!" the Twi'lek defended, but not very fiercely.

"Oh come on. You saw the heartbroken face when you sent her away like a little pest. You were like a mentor to her, a big sister, but you let one little slip completely destroy that relationship?"

Zaerdra pondered on that for a moment. "You… reckon she respected me _that_ much?"

"She still does. Whenever your name comes up her face falls faster than autumn leaves. She misses you."

"Shit…" The Twi'lek's face scrunched up. "I really fucked up, did I?"

"It's not too late," Xana said, a bit gentler than before. "Just allow her to apologize and leave the past behind. She's just a kid… kids learn by making mistakes."

After a long silence Zaerdra got to her feet. "I _really_ pegged you for the wrong type, Saber. You're not just a loudmouthed show-off… Thanks for opening my eyes."

The scoundrel gave her an indifferent shrug. "Don't get the wrong idea. I did this for Mission, not for you."

"I know, but thanks anyway." Without another world she strolled off.

* * *

Xana was just checking the contents of their backs, to inventory today's loot, when she was approached by Zaalbar. The big Wookie looked a bit nervous. "Hey there, Zaalbar. Something up?"

He stood in front of her and didn't seem to know where to begin. "Grey… you, uhm… I wanted you to know that I'm very grateful that you saved my life twice now."

Xana got to her feet and gave him a smile. "Well, technically it was only once. If it weren't for me you'd be nowhere near that rancor."

"That's not really how this works," he mumbled.

"How what works?" Xana asked curiously. "What are you on about here, buddy?"

"If someone saves the life of a Wookie, he has to pledge his life to protect and take care of his savior."

"Oh…" The scoundrel had read about this practice, but had always thought it was a bit over-the-top. "Well, you don't have to swear a life-debt to me if you don't want to. You've been a tremendous help thus far, your debt is already repaid as far as I'm concerned."

Zaalbar looked confused. "Grey, you don't seem to understand. I _have_ to make this life-debt to you. It would be considered honorless if I didn't. My kin would shun me and possibly even kill me."

"That's brutal," she commented. "Who would come up with such a rule?"

"It goes down through many generations. Rules passed down by the ancestors must be adhered to, it's just the way it is."

"I see. So that means you'd follow me around for the rest of my life?" He nodded to show she was correct. "Gee Zaalbar, that's a whole lot to take in. Do you think I'm ready for such a responsibility?"

"There lays no responsibility with you," he said, even more confused now. "Your safety is my responsibility, not the other way around."

"But it works in two ways, right? You choose to follow me, so I have to take care of you?"

He seemed to smile. "Not necessarily, but it's very commendable if you do."

"Look Zaalbar, if I had a clear future ahead of me I'd gladly take your offer. I don't, so I don't know if I'll be able to bring you the happiness that you deserve."

"That's not the point of the life-debt, Grey. I'm at your service wherever you decide to go, no matter what kind of person you turn out to be. But I can already see that your future is a bright one, because you're an honorable woman. And should you decide to stray of your path I can always try to steer you back."

Xana was actually quite touched by the Wookie's sincere words. It felt tremendously good that at least someone had faith in her. "You're a good guy, you know that Zaalbar?" He shrugged and shifted shyly on his feet. It caused her to chuckle, the contrast between the raging Wookie in battle and this bashful kid was just too big. She rather liked the guy, so she was not going to ruin his life by refusing his offer. "Then I'll gladly accept your life-debt, Zaalbar. What's more, I'll make sure to treat you justly and try to make your life as good as possible."

"This is more than I could've ever hoped for," Zaalbar said brightly. Relief seemed to wash over him. "Thank you Grey. And may you and your offspring be blessed forever."

That got a good laugh out of the scoundrel. "You do know lesbians can't have children right? I mean, I'm not going to have to give you sexual education, do I?"

"I know how it works," he muttered. "I just tried to…"

She grabbed his arm and gave him a kind smile. "I know, Zaalbar, I was just teasing you. And I appreciate the sentiment."

He grunted something that Xana couldn't hear and scratched his head foolishly. "Err… great. I think I'm going to tell Mission right now. I… don't know how she'll respond."

"Don't worry, she will understand," she said encouragingly. The Wookie gave her a final nod and slouched off.

* * *

Later that evening Xana was at the workbench, maintaining and upgrading her gear. It always greatly relaxed her, working on her equipment. It was her way of clearing her mind and ordering her thoughts. Suddenly she was surprised by an unknown creature crashing into her, causing her to nearly stumble over. Somehow she managed to keep her balance and found out that it had been Mission who had made the assault. The Twi'lek was tightly hugging her, arms firmly around the human's waist and face pushed against her chest.

"Hey there Mission… something up?" She decided to wrap her arms around the small thief and returned the hug.

The girl looked up into Xana's face and was positively beaming. "Zaerdra allowed me to make up to her."

"That's awesome Mission," the scoundrel smiled. "So she finally saw reason, huh?"

"Don't play dumb Grey, I know you've been talking to her." She happily nuzzled her forehead between the scoundrel's collarbones. "Thank you Grey. Really, _really _thank you. It feels like a thousand tons have been taken from my chest."

"And that's reward enough for me," Xana told the girl kindly. "I'm really happy for you."

"And Zaalbar has also finally made his life-debt to you, I'm so happy."

The scoundrel cocked an eyebrow curiously. "Finally? What do you mean, finally?"

Mission grunted. "He's so shy sometimes. He was just so sure you'd decline and he would be ashamed forever. I told him you would totally accept, because you're totally awesome."

"Ah, so you're alright with him swearing that debt to me?"

She looked up in surprise. "Of course, why wouldn't I be? It means I'll be spending the rest of my life with you, because wherever Zaalbar goes, I go."

Xana was a bit shocked. She could already imagine going back to the Republic with these two. _Hey there Coleman, reporting back for duty. Don't worry about the two kids, they're just my slaves. They do whatever I tell them, so they won't cause any trouble._ The thought made her laugh a bit, it was just so surreal. Not that she would really care of course, she always just did whatever the fuck she wanted, regardless of the opinion of her superiors. "Why do you want to stay with me forever so badly? You know you could go back to Zaerdra, right?"

"Are you crazy? You saved my life. You saved Zaalbar's life. You immediately treated me like a person where others only saw an annoying brat. I want to stay with you!" She pressed herself even closer to Xana, like she was afraid of being torn off and sent away.

Xana chuckled. "Well, I'm certainly glad someone chooses to stay with me out of free will. Most people are glad when they're able to get away from me again."

The small thief looked into her green eyes. "You're not sending me away, are you?" It sounded like she was pleading.

"No, I'm not," the scoundrel answered kindly. The cheerful Twi'lek had quickly grown on her, she wouldn't mind having her around for a little while longer. "You're free to stay with me. Until you're old enough to realize how annoying I am and desperately try to escape."

Mission let out a happy cheer. "Thanks a thousand times for having me!" The girl squeezed her new boss close and Xana happy returned the hug. When Mission finally released her she took a curious look at the workbench. "What are you doing?"

"Teaching you to maintain and upgrade your equipment, what else?"

"Why would I want to learn to do _that?_" she asked with feigned disgust.

"Because you can't be a leech constantly if you're coming with me," Xana teased. "You're going to have to contribute to the group if you want me to accept you." She saw the hurt expression of the girl and playfully poked her nose. "Besides, I know you're mighty curious about learning this stuff, so stop sulking already."

The girl grinned slyly. "How'd you know I wanted to learn this?"

"Simple. You're similar to me, you want to know how stuff works and how you can mess with it. You're not satisfied until you're absolutely sure something can't be improved any further." The lieutenant turned to the workbench and indicated Mission to come closer. "So roll up those sleeves and get to work, missy. We've got a lot of ground to cover today."

Xana picked up a disassembled blaster and started explaining the inner workings of the weapon. She covered all the parts, showing how they worked and how to clean and maintain them. She also explained the various upgrades that could be applied to it. Then she showed the full maintenance of a blaster from beginning to end, after which it was Mission's turn to do the second. Xana was pleased to see the young girl picking it up quickly. The Twi'lek was bright and curious and certainly not afraid of asking questions. Soon they were working peacefully on their arsenal, with Xana humming a soft tune to herself.

"You never told me what happened to your brother," the scoundrel asked after a while. She felt the mood was right for it.

Mission let out a deep sigh. "The fool fell in love."

"He left you for some girl?" Xana asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"It's not really his fault," she said defensively. "It's all the fault of that damn Lena. She was a dancer at the cantina. Used to date all sorts of nobles, so she was a spoiled little brat. Griff couldn't afford her princess lifestyle of course, he was just a thug like me. That didn't stop her from making him pay for everything."

"How did he get the money?"

"Well, you can only make so much by stealing. He had some other businesses set up as well, but it was not enough. So he started borrowing. His debts grew and it soon spiraled out of control."

"That wasn't very smart of him," the scoundrel commented. "Borrowing credits to spend on a girl… not a good investment."

"Hey, he was trying to the right thing! He was in love with her and wanted to treat his girl right. That bitch Lena just took advantage of that." Mission seemed mighty defensive of her bigger brother.

"So where is he now?"

"They had to escape Taris, because his debts had gone off the charts. He went together with Lena, but she didn't want his little sister tagging along."

"So he abandoned you?" Xana asked in disbelieve.

"No, she made him forget about me," the small thief huffed. "He promised to return to me when they had made enough credits to live like nobles. But thanks to that credit-whore he hasn't."

The lieutenant decided not to comment on that. It seemed awfully much like Griff had really abandoned Mission, but somehow the thief didn't want to accept that fact. Too much of a history with being abandoned, probably. "And you have no other relatives at all?" she inquired. "Parents, uncles, anything?"

"I've been an orphan from birth," she shrugged. "Our parents just couldn't be bothered with us. Other family, no idea." She smiled at Xana. "Zaalbar's my only family, and now you too."

Xana returned the smile and patted her head. A person only deserves so much crap in life, in prison she had learned exactly that. She knew precisely how futile life could seem if you were all alone and hated by everyone. She'd try her best to make the girl happy and feel wanted, if only for a little while.

* * *

After they were done with their gear and Mission had gone to bed, Xana decided to find Carth. She found him in the mess, where he was quietly smoking a cigar. "I didn't know you were a smoker?" she asked, as she sat herself in front of him at the table.

"Only in times of stress," he admitted. He offered her a smoke as well, which she accepted. Both of them smoked in silence for a while, until Carth took the word. "We need to talk."

She sighed. "I know. We're going to get Bastila tomorrow and you're wondering if you're okay with me getting my hands on her."

"You're not making this exactly easy for me," he muttered. He looked keenly into her bright green eyes. "With your constant talk of leaving the Republic and becoming a criminal again."

Xana blew out a stream of smoke and smiled sourly. "Is that truly so hard to understand?" He eyed her like she was out of her mind and she quickly held up her hands. "Of course it is… to understand you need to hear the full story."

"I think now is the perfect time," Carth said with an expression that betrayed she was not getting away this time.

The scoundrel nodded and closed her eyes for a moment. Then she started telling. "Before I start, you need to understand what kind of person I am. I'm someone who can't sit still. I need to do stuff, be busy, have a goal. The more improbable the success of that goal, the better. When something crosses my path that seems impossible, I set my mind on it and just do it. Doing nothing for more than a couple of hours drives me insane."

"That fits in the image I had of you," the pilot agreed.

"Good. Then imagine me locked up in a prison. A life without goals, without purpose."

He slowly nodded. "That must be hard."

"Having no future? Very hard. But it would've been bearable, if it weren't for my amnesia. That shit's plain terrifying, I tell you. Waking up without a past, without a god damn clue about who I was. Then they tell me I was a criminal that has committed serious crimes, including multiple murders. That's stuff of nightmares." She took a moment to center herself. "I was sentenced to a lifetime in prison for terrible things that I didn't do, at least not in my own mind. In a single moment both my past and my future were stripped away from me. I was trapped in the present for the rest of my life."

Carth looked concerned. "That's a lot to bear for a person. How come you didn't break down?"

"Like I said, I'm not one to sit still. I picked up things to do. At first I started reading. And when I say reading, I mean _reading_. At one point my psychologist thought I was suffering from insomnia as well, the amount of time I spent with books. I had an insatiable need for knowledge and the prison's library delivered."

"What kind of things did you read?"

"Mostly history. But also books on the Jedi, warfare, science, nature, the galaxy, erotic massages, cooking… you name it, I read it." The scoundrel smirked looking back on that time, she had been quite the geek. "Once I came to the point where I figured I understood most of the universe, I realized there was a world outside of my cell as well. Curious as I was, I started exploring. I slowly discovered that my former skills hadn't vanished at all. Thanks to my linguistics I could communicate with every single bitch that was locked up there, regardless of race. But it went beyond simple communication… I could control them."

Carth cocked an eyebrow "What do you exactly mean by control?"

"I seduced guards to give me special privileges. I calmed down hostile inmates and convinced them not to attack me. I could get entire groups to like me and protect me. These discoveries gave me more and more confidence. I learned how to read moods and faces, learned to use that information to my advantage. When I had gained enough trust, I decided to step it up a notch. I started orchestrating full-scale riots, just to see if I could do it. Turned out I could."

"Such behavior is usually harshly punished."

"It is, but they couldn't prove it was me. The inmates had no idea they were being played by me, and the guards turned a blind eye as long as I gave them what they wanted. The prison literally became my playground, as my other skills also started to manifest themselves. I could pick the most complicated locks within seconds, knew dozens of ways to slice a computer terminal and I could navigate through corridors without being detected by security systems. Discovering just how far I could go became my sport… and it kept me alive."

The flight commander blew out a ring of smoke. "Were you never caught?"

"I was. And that's when my deep depression started. I was locked up in solitary more and more, a place where I had way too much time to think. Think about the futility of my life. I had spent a lot of time reading modern history, learned of the great deeds of hero's. Hero's like Revan, Bastila Shan, Meetra Surik. All people with exceptional skill, who had used their power to make a difference. And there I was, with all my exceptional skills, locked up and useless. It frustrated me to no end and landed me in a deep existential crisis. It was truly my darkest hour."

A moment of silence passed between them, until Grey started speaking again with a voice a little rougher than before. "My psychologist saved me. She realized I wouldn't last long in this situation and decided to help. She was a close friend to Rear Admiral Coleman and together they pulled enough strings to get me enrolled in the lieutenant training program. It took a gazillion of tests, mind you, both physical and psychological. In the end they decided I would be a big asset to them."

He looked surprised. "Was your loyalty never questioned?"

"Of course, more than once. But I can be rather convincing if I want to be." The scoundrel frowned deeply. "Still… I can't shake off the idea that someone even more powerful than the rear admiral helped me. It still surprises me up to this point how easily they let me out of prison in the end."

"The situation with the Sith is getting desperate," the pilot ventured. "Finding capable people willing to fight for the Republic is getting more and more complicated with each day. Much people are being swayed by the teachings of the Sith. Perhaps they just couldn't let a chance like this slip away?"

"Perhaps…" the scoundrel said slowly. "Maybe I'm just overthinking things. Anyway, this was the only chance for me to leave that hellhole and I begged them to give it to me. Finally I had a purpose again, becoming a Republic Lieutenant. Sure, I had no intentions of staying with them, but I was determined to learn as much as I could before escaping and starting a new life."

"So you really want to become a criminal again?" he asked in disgust.

"You're still not getting the point," Xana said in frustration. "All I want is to know who the _fuck_ I am. They told me I used to be a scoundrel that raided everything she could get her greasy hands on, a criminal that didn't shy away from even murder. But the truth is they could've told me anything. I was a blank slate, a nobody. No family, no friends, no lover nor enemy. If they told me I had been a barmaid, carpenter, whore or even god damn Sith Lord I would have had no choice but to take their word for it."

The lieutenant was truly getting worked up now. "Let me tell you this, I'm fucking sick of people telling me who I was and what I should be. Fuck that shit. I want to discover it myself, experience life and hopefully get a clue about my past. And if after all that I can't find my past, fine. So fucking be it. I'll just find a new purpose and fill in my future myself. At least I can give it any meaning that I damn well want, unclouded by the opinions of those who think they're superior to me."

A long silence settled between them. Xana was trying to get her emotions back in control, while Carth was contemplating on what she had just told him. After a long time he broke the silence. "I… never realized how hard it is to lose all your memories. I truly underestimated it." Xana merely shrugged to show it was okay. "And you believe Bastila holds the key to your past?"

"I don't know anymore, Carth. Ever since I met her it has all become unclear." She sighed deeply. "But she's somehow in my brain. I had feelings of respect and… well, love for her. Feelings that couldn't have developed in just a few seconds."

"You respecting someone?" he teased. "She must've made a very strong impression on you in your past."

Xana grinned. "_Very_ strong. I loathe every superior with a stick in his ass. Those stars on your shoulders don't automatically grant you my respect, even if you think they do." Her grin became mischievous. "Got me in a lot of trouble, back in the day. I remember one of the Rear Admirals once asking me my opinion about a strategy he had come up with. It was probably a test, because his plan was so flawed that even a nine-year old could see that it was utter crap. Told him that if he was serious he was better off fucking himeself with a blowtorch than to deposit such crap on his subordinates."

The flight commander snorted. "He couldn't have been happy with that."

"Went completely mental, I thought he went into cardiac arrest. Unfortunately he didn't and I was on cleaning duty for an entire month." She shrugged. "Still, could be worse. There had been plenty of times where they could've fired me. Don't know if it was Coleman protecting me, or someone even higher. Maybe they just wanted me, no matter what a cunt I was." She smiled confidently. "I'm _that_ good, after all."

Carth openly laughed, but it was a warm laugh this time. "You know what you remind me of, Grey? An adolescent. Uncomfortable in your current self, frantically searching for the real you, rebellious and with a mouth that needs a serious washing with soap."

Xana smiled slowly as she went over that analogy. "You know Carth, I think you might be onto something. Maybe that's what happens with all amnesiacs, going through the first stages of life again. Need to ask my psychologist that one." Her smile faded and she gave him a sincere look. "So Carth, will you allow me near Bastila? Please?"

"Of course I will," he immediately said. "If it's a part of your healing process it would be cruel to withhold that from you." She sighed in relief and gave him a grateful smile. "Just promise you won't do anything rash to her, because then I'll have to kill you."

A lecherous smirk curled around her lips. "Is seducing her in my bed considered rash?"

He sighed and shook his head. "You just don't give up, do you?" He chuckled. "I won't kill you if you try that, simply because there wouldn't be a you left to kill. Bastila will slice you up and feed you to the Gamorreans."

"Heh, you're probably right. Still, it's nice having dreams."

"Look, just get your mind off her. As a Jedi she'll never see you in that way. Just find yourself a nice girl with a normal background and be content with that."

Xana laughed. "Getting romantic advice from a grouchy war veteran. Who could've seen _that_ coming?"

"Hey it worked for me," he shrugged. "Got a nice girl, had a son, it was all good."

The scoundrel sat up straight, this was more than he had ever let go. Maybe now was the time to question a bit further. "So what happened?"

"The Mandalorian Wars, that's what happened. Didn't want to go, but duty called, so what are you going to do? I went. When I returned, they were dead." He saw the unasked questions in Xana's eyes and elaborated, "We had a house on Telos IV."

"Oh…" Telos IV had been bombarded into a wasteland at the end of the Mandalorian Wars, under the orders of Darth Malak. "I'm sorry Carth, I can't imagine how hard that must be for you." He just sat still in silence, tears in his eyes. "But just why is it so hard to let go, Carth? That atrocity happened years ago, why aren't you moving on?"

"It's not so simple," he said, a little louder than he had wanted. He startled himself. "I was betrayed, Grey," he continued on a more normal volume. "Betrayed by the man that I looked up to the most. He was a Republic soldier at heart, but he decided to join the Sith."

Xana contemplated on that for a moment. "So this is where your never-ending hatred for the Sith comes from? And your complete distrust for someone who's planning to leave the Republic?" She took his silence for agreement. "Then what's your plan? Grieve and sulk until the Sith are all gone? Because that's probably never going to happen."

"I just want to make sure that guy dies for what he has done to me. And make sure no one ever betrays me again."

"Don't lose yourself in this hatred, Carth," Xana said quietly. "It's not the real you and it will bring you closure nor happiness."

The flight commander finished his cigar. "It's the only thing I have right now," he muttered as he got to his feet. Without another word he left the scoundrel alone.

Xana shook her head. _Oh boy, is he going to require a lot of work._ She took one last swig of the cigar and enjoyed the spicy flavor for a moment. Then she flung the stub away and got to her feet, hoping to get a few hours of shuteye. It had been a long day indeed.


	10. Now This is Swoop Racing

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Nine**

**Now this is Swoop Racing**

* * *

It took Xana about five minutes to figure out the biggest mistake you can make on a swoop bike: thinking you're in control. When subjected to input from the handlebar the blasted thing will either dislocate most of your joints by making a dramatic U-turn, or do nothing at all. Despite the dozens of little control flaps the handling was quirky at best, a thing that nearly cost the scoundrel her life a few times. After a two hour pre-breakfast session on the bike she still didn't have a clue of what she was doing.

Eddy the mechanic didn't quite manage to alleviate that uncertainty. He was giving her the final pep talk just before her first heat. "So ye've had some experience with a swoop… Awesome, good fer ye. Ye can forget about all that sissy stuff right away, cause this bike is in a league of its own. Open the throttle and it will tear yer pretty little face off. I hope ye have no plans for offspring, cause steering this beauty will liquefy yer lower organs and merge 'em into one messy pulp." He leered at her voluptuous breasts for a second and grinned. "At least ye will have some damping when ye fall off, ey?"

"You must really like Gadon Thek's eye implants," Xana smiled sweetly. "Because if you keep staring like this I'll gouge out your fucking eyeballs and feed them to the rakghouls."

His eyes nervously darted away. "What's the world coming to, if even the pretty women become this violent?"

"Why don't you stop being philosophical and tell me how this race works?"

"Right. It's very simple knock-out system. Each heat consists of four racers, the first two to reach the finish line will go on to the next heat. There's a total of sixteen racers, so in total ye can race in three heats: quarterfinal, semifinal and the big final. Win the big final and ye've made the Hidden Beks proud and won the girl. The track goes through the streets of the Lower City and the start is also the finish. Ye've seen the Lower City; it's filled with trash, so watch the fuck out."

The lieutenant slowly processed that information. "So basically everyone with a bit of knowledge of this area has a huge advantage over me?"

"Of course, but they don't have the prototype accelerator, now do they?" the mechanic said proudly.

Xana eyed him skeptically. "Is this engine really _that_ good?"

Eddy snorted. "Lady, please. When ye rev this baby into the red zone ye'll experience g-forces unimaginable. It starts out pretty innocent, yer body starts to tingle and ye might see some stars. But if ye continue its gruesome acceleration towards 400 miles an hour, things start getting worse. Ye're gonna experience tunnel vision, and yer blood will be drained from yer brains. At that point ye'll face full blindness and possibly even death. That's right, this stingy little motherfucker might kill ye with sheer acceleration alone. So please, show some respect."

"Great… so besides making my way through unfamiliar streets and trying to control an uncontrollable vehicle, I also have to watch out not emptying my brains of blood. That's just fucking dandy."

"Welcome to the life of the adrenaline junky." Eddy finished his last preparations to the swoop and screwed the panels back in place. "She's all ready to race. Now listen carefully, because what I'm gonna tell ye now might save yer life. We haven't fully tested this little package of madness yet, so be fukken careful, yeah? If it shows any signs of instability ease off the throttle and let her cool down. Be careful with my babe. If it blows up in yer face I'll fucking kill ye."

"If I've survived the blast, that is…"

He shrugged non-committedly. "Last piece of advice: take yer bloody weapons. Wouldn't be the first time two racers fought each other to death after crashing into each other. Swoop bikers are the craziest motherfuckers to have ever crawled out of a womb. Be prepared for anything."

Xana briefly touched the saber on her belt, fighting some addicted gangsters would be the least of her problems. Taming the machine from hell and keeping it one piece… now that was a completely different matter.

* * *

Mission, Zaalbar and Carth were with Xana in the pit to give her a last bit of support. They had finally seen Bastila again, the cage she had been restrained in had been rolled next to the podium. The Jedi Knight was knocked out cold, but otherwise looked fine. At least the gangsters had shown some respect, she had been allowed to keep her robes and she appeared healthy and unharmed.

Seeing the defenceless woman made the scoundrel even more nervous. Things would get really ugly if she failed to win the tournament, because letting the woman go was simply not an option anymore. It was now or never.

After getting the last encouragements from her team, Xana pulled on her helmet and gloves, and mounted the bike. Sitting on the swoop felt at least somewhat familiar now, but it was still a hassle to get the thing to do what she wanted. Eddy fired up the engine, after which the scoundrel slowly hovered to the start line. There she lined up her bike, together with the three other racers.

Xana was amazed by the professionalism of the entire thing. The starting grid was lined by a massive tribune, which was filled with hundreds of people, of all species and gangs. An announcer was sweeping up the crowd, but the scoundrel couldn't hear him over the noise of the bikes. The track had been closed off and marked, although the streets hadn't been cleared from garbage and rubble. It showed that the gangs were the ones making the rules down in the Lower City…

The starting lights started to flash and Xana took one last deep breath. The crowd roared, but adrenaline and engine noise dampened the sound. Terribly slowly the lights counted down, it seemed like every second was spread out to at least ten. The woman crawled over the bike, making sure to brace herself for the massive acceleration. When the lights finally turned green she opened the throttle…

…and nearly crashed into the wall.

Nothing could've prepared her for the tremendous g-forces she was suddenly subjected to. She was so shocked that she flicked the handlebar a bit, which flung the bike dangerously close to the wall. Had she reacted just a fraction of a second later she surely would've crashed and probably died. Thankfully her reflexes were top-notch and after closing the throttle she was able to regain control of the bike. As a result she was now placed last in the race.

She silently cursed her own stupidity as she steered the bike back on track. _Careful now Xana, this little beast will eat you alive._ She reopened the throttle, a bit more careful this time, and was once again exposed to tremendous forces. But this time she was prepared for it. With military discipline she let the sensation wash over her and focused entirely on the track ahead. Red lights on the cockpit indicated that she had to shift, so she quickly kicked the thing into second gear and revved the beast again.

This process continued until her neck started to hurt. The speed she was going at was frightening, she had less than the blink of an eye to dodge incoming rubble. The track was downright demanding. There was a combination of extremely tight corners and narrow corridors, coupled with long straights and easy bends where speeds of over 400 miles an hour were easily reached. Brakes were an underdeveloped part of the swoop – there wasn't a demand for them by the crazy racers, so engineers didn't bother with them – meaning slowing down for a corner was pure terror.

Overtaking was another issue. The other racers didn't give her an inch of ground, forcing her to stay close behind and wait for an opportunity. Once the opportunity was there the actual overtaking was extremely easy, thanks to the prototype accelerator. It almost felt like they were standing still while she sped by with the speed of light. After getting first position it was a simple matter of finishing the race without blowing up the engine or crashing into stuff. Xana did just that and finished first.

After parking the bike in the pit she got off and noticed her entire body was shaking. The race had truly exhausted her. Eddy didn't make matters any better. "What'che thinking, nearly crashing my baby into that wall?"

"Your fucking bike steers like a rampaging bantha," Xana scowled. "So why don't you just shut the fuck up and be glad I finished in one piece?"

"Whatever," he growled. "How did the engine hold up?"

The lieutenant shrugged. "Didn't have to push it to full capacity, so I wouldn't know. Just make sure it holds out long enough. I need a drink." Without another glance she walked away from the mechanic. She found her companions and crashed down in a nearby chair. Mission handed her a bottle of water, which she greedily devoured. She already felt drained and still had two races to go.

"Nice job Grey!" the Twi'lek cheered. "Continue like this and you'll surely win."

"…or end up dead," the lieutenant growled. "This bike is pure madness."

Carth gave her an assuring nod. "You're doing fine. Just keep your head cool and don't do anything stupid."

Xana wanted to give him a piece of mind, but couldn't find the energy to do so. She decided to close her eyes for just a while and quickly dozed off.

* * *

"_I'm not inside the garage anymore, am I?"_

_The familiar voice surprised Xana. "Knight Shan?"_

"_Just what is going on?" came the voice of the Jedi Knight again. "Where am I?"_

_The scoundrel was highly confused, but decided to answer nonetheless. "Err… you're at the swoop race. The Black Vulkar gang has put you forwards as a price for the grand opening race. I'm currently racing to win your freedom."_

"…_so that's where your enormous stress levels came from." The voice suddenly became weaker. "So… tired…"_

"_Ma'am? Ma'am, what the hell is this? Why are you in my head? Knight Shan? BASTILA?"_

* * *

A sudden thug at her shoulder shook her awake. Carth had woken her up and he was studying her with a worried face. "Are you alright? You were mumbling in your sleep."

Xana glanced over to the caged Jedi Knight. She was still knocked out cold. "I… just a nightmare."

"Okay…" Carth was still looking worried. "Eddy was looking for you, it's time to get ready for your second race." The scoundrel nodded and got to her feet. She slouched off to the swoop bike, with the pilot's eyes stinging in her back.

If she had thought her experience with the modified swoop would make the second heat any easier, she was gravely mistaken. She faced off with much more experienced and determined racers this time. These guys didn't back away from using extreme measures. She was nearly pushed into a wall when trying to overtake the guy who was placed second. Her relentless attempts to get past him were all in vain; he simply kept blocking her off or tried to get her killed.

Things were starting to look very bleak for Xana. They were approaching the finish quickly and she still was in third place. If she didn't finish at least second she wouldn't go through to the final. The two bikes steered on the final straight towards the finish line and Xana started to panic. Involuntarily she thought back on her lieutenant training. _Convert your panic into more useful emotions._ Bastila's face flashed in her mind and her panic made way for sheer determination. Finishing third was not an option. If this asshole wouldn't let her get past him, she'd simply go through him.

She opened the throttle and the swoop bike lurched forward. The guy in second place saw her coming and steered his bike in front of her again. _Like the hell if I care._ Like a raging bull she sped towards him. Only at the last second she changed her trajectory slightly, so that she would brush past him. With only half an inch to spare she overtook the asshole, just half a mile before the finish line. Five seconds later she finished second, just enough to get through.

The crowd seemed besides themselves, these kinds of duels were just the thing they had come for. Eddy wasn't very happy. As she parked the bike and took of her helmet he started scolding her. "The hell ye think you doing, ye stupid cunt? Ye nearly crashed into that guy, do ye want to destroy my bike? What are ye, suicidal?"

That last part got to Xana. She grabbed him by the collar and her bright green eyes flashed dangerously. "You know _nothing_ about me," she said in a low voice. "So shut the fuck up and get the bike ready for the final, you fucking freak." She pushed him away, causing him to stumble over and fall to the floor, but she just couldn't care. Still fuming she stalked to her companions.

"What's wrong Grey?" Mission asked when she saw the scoundrel's dark face.

Xana sat down and accepted the water bottle. "Fucker Eddy is working on my nerves. If he goes on like this I'm going to smash his ugly face."

"You should calm down," the Twi'lek advised. "Be glad that you're in the finals. Only one step away from rescuing Miss Shan!"

The scoundrel knew that the girl was right, but exhaustion and stress started to take its toll. "Whatever," she grunted. "I'm taking a nap, wake me up when it's time for the final match."

As Xana closed her eyes Mission gave Carth a helpless look. He just shook his head and indicated to leave her alone.

* * *

"_Could you please explain me what you were thinking when coming up with this plan to rescue me?" Bastila sounded less than impressed._

"_Wha…? You again? What are you doing in my head?" Xana didn't know if she was dreaming, hallucinating or just downright going mad._

"_Trying to get a sense of what is going on. To be honest I'm deeply disappointed in you."_

"_I don't see __**you**__ coming up with a better idea," the scoundrel snarled. Her sympathy for the Jedi Knight was vanishing real quickly now she was being scolded even in her dreams._

"_In case you hadn't noticed I'm being restrained by a neural disruptor." The Jedi sounded extremely haughty, which angered Xana even further. "For someone who promised to protect me with her live, you're doing a rather miserable job, don't you think?"_

"_This is just fucking dandy… Get out of my head, right now!"_

"_Learn your place, __**girl**__. You don't order around a Jedi Knight, certainly not with such a foul mouth."_

_Part of her wanted to curse the knight to oblivion, but somehow she found herself unable to. The way the Jedi was speaking to her made her feel incompetent and immature. "I'm sorry ma'am," she muttered in shame._

"_Much better," Bastila replied smugly, but still with the air of a princess._

_It made the scoundrel feel even worse, like a girl being scolded by her mother. "Look, I'm trying to do the right thing here. If I win the next race you'll be free."_

_The Jedi snorted. "And you truly believe a gangster who betrayed his former master will keep his word? Are you truly that dimwitted?" The brunette sighed tiredly. "If only I could use this connection to bypass the neural disruptor."_

"_Connection? What connection? What's going on between us? Ma'am?" There was only silence. "Knight Shan, where are you?"_

* * *

Again Xana was shaken awake from her strange sleep, this time by Mission. She was looking extremely worried. The scoundrel patted her head and tried to give an assuring smile. "I'm fine," she said. "Just exhaustion taking over. Driving that swoop bike is intense."

"If you're not confident that you'll make it, you should just stop," the thief said. "We'll find another way to rescue your boss."

"No, I'll race." Xana got to her feet and stretched. She felt much better than before, refreshed and ready for action. "I'll race and win, you can take my word on it."

Mission smiled, but still looked a bit uncertain. She grabbed her new boss in a hug. "Be careful, alright?"

The scoundrel returned the hug. "Don't worry, I will." She broke the brief embrace and made her way to the swoop bike. It felt more like walking to her own gallows. This was going to be the big one. Failure wasn't an option anymore. She grinned to herself, when had failure ever been an option?

Eddy had decided to completely ignore her, for which she was him eternally grateful. Just as she was about to put on her helmet, she was approached by a gruff looking human. "Impressive racing, Saber. The woman's touch seems to make these things much faster. Or is it something else, hm?"

"I don't know who the fuck you are or what you're implying, but you best get the fuck out of our pit." Xana was losing her patience with all these idiotic gangsters.

"I'm the Black Vulkar pilot and I'm here to warn you." His voice had turned low and threatening. "Race and you die. Walk home and you live."

The scoundrel wasn't impressed by his threat. "Concern noted," she said dully. "Now if you'd please step out of my pit… I have a race to prepare for."

* * *

When the lights turned green Xana immediately twisted the throttle. She was now pretty familiar with her bike and its quirks, so she actually managed a decent start. With tremendous speed she left the roaring spectators behind her. The crowd seemed to have grown considerably as the day had progressed. There were not only gangsters, but also regular civilians that took an interest in the racing.

Much time to ponder the race's popularity she didn't get, because another pilot _assaulted_ her by damn near crashing his swoop into hers. With a curse she steered away from him, but the bastard kept going at her. _Was he trying to kill them both?_ It certainly seemed like a kamikaze action. As she struggled to keep her bike in one piece and on track she saw the other two racers speeding away from her.

Suddenly her bike was being pelted by blasterfire. She glanced at the other pilot and recognized the Black Vulkar pilot. He was actually steering his swoop with one hand and firing a blaster at her with the other. How the cocksucker managed this was beyond Xana, but she knew she had to get rid of him fast. The swoop bike was unarmored, if he hit a vital component she'd be out of the race. She tried to outrun him, but he cleverly cut her off.

_Alright then, asshole. Time for motherfucking plan B._ She tried to release one hand from the handlebar, but the swoop bike immediately lurched toward the wall. Just in time she managed to steer clear again. _One more time._ This time she was more careful and she successfully grabbed her blaster without crashing the bike. She turned in the saddle to aim at her assaulter.

"Go ahead punk… make my day." She pulled the trigger. How she managed it under the circumstances was beyond her, but the energy bolt hit him square in the face. He fell from his bike, which crashed into a pillar. Xana laughed like a small child in a toy store, endorphin and adrenaline became an intoxicating concoction within her system. She dropped the blaster and looked forward again, but the two others had gone out of sight.

She pushed herself and the bike beyond the limit. With death-defying speed she raced across the track, taking corners at much higher velocities than before. Soon the number two came in sight and she overtook him like a beam of light. The number one followed soon after, but as soon as she got onto his tail a red light started flashing on her cockpit. It seemed like she had been pushing the engine to its limit.

Xana stayed on his tail the whole time, keeping just enough speed not to fry the accelerator. After about ten miles the blasted red light still flashed. The woman grinned, it seemed like she was going to have to make a gamble. As the two of them turned onto the final straight, Xana made a quick prayer. It was time to see how far her scoundrel's luck would really go.

She pulled her bike next to the other racer and fully opened the throttle. The bike lurched forward like a solar flare, within a second she was in first place. As she saw the finish line approaching the red light started flashing faster and faster, she could smell the smoke coming out of the engine. _Come on you crappy bike, keep in one piece for ten seconds longer._ The number two was right on her tail, so she knew she couldn't ease off the throttle. Not for the first time did she wonder why she was risking her life for that blasted Jedi. She hoped it wouldn't be the last time.

With a final flick on the throttle she surged towards the finish line. The engine protested audibly under the strain, but Xana just didn't care. In a stream of fire, smoke and noise she crossed the line. _I've done it, I've won_. She didn't celebrate just yet, but instead landed the bike and quickly stumbled off it. Just as she was running away the machine exploded behind her, the shockwave was so intense it made her topple over. She rolled on her back just in time to see a large mushroom cloud. All emotions, strain and stress came out as once, as she started laughing uncontrollably. Eddy was going to be _so_ pissed.

* * *

Euphoria swept over her as she was lying there on the dirty ground. _She had fucking done it!_ By winning the race she had won ownership of Bastila, meaning she'd finally be safe. As the crowd loudly cheered and applauded for the nice show, Mission, Zaalbar and Carth approached her with a big grin on their faces. "That was awesome Grey!" the Twi'lek exclaimed happily.

Carth shook her hand. "Congrats Grey. You took the gamble and won. Now we can take Bastila and get off this awful planet."

Brejik – the leader of the Black Vulkars – had other plans. The gruff gangster approached the podium with a large group of his cronies on his tail. He picked up the microphone and addressed the crowd. "Yes, that was a very nice display of swooping skills… and a banging end. Congratulations Miss Saber, a newcomer making such a flawless victory is unprecedented."

Xana felt her heart sink as she realized where he was going to. Brejik addressed the crowd again. "Most of us would think it's completely impossible for a newcomer to dominate the race so convincingly. Even _I_ had my doubts, so I did some background tracking of this woman. Turns out my doubts were grounded, because this woman certainly isn't a gangster. No, dear spectators, she's an agent working for the Sith."

The crowds gasped in disbelief and Brejik continued talking into them. "Apparently Gadon Thek has made a secret deal with the Sith, sovereignty over the gangs in exchange for this Republic officer." Another disbelieving gasp from the crowd. "They even handed them a military-type engine to win the race." Outrage and anger from the tribune.

The Black Vulkar leader turned to Xana. "So no, I will _not_ be handing over this woman to the Sith." He drew his vibrosword and the thugs behind drew their various weapons as well. "In fact, I'll get rid of this spy and free the gangs from Sith influence once and for all. Because unlike Thek _I_ do have the best in mind for _all_ the gangs of this planet."

The gangsters approached Xana's team and Brejik engaged the scoundrel in melee combat. As the large group threatened to overwhelm them the scoundrel looked desperately at the Jedi Knight. For a moment she focused her entire will on the caged woman. _Right now would be an excellent time to wake up, Miss Jedi._

As if her words had reached her Bastila stirred and opened her eyes. She quickly assessed the situation, then used the Force to open her cage. When she had stepped out she used the Force to make a vibrosword float towards her. She graciously grabbed it out of the air and also engaged Brejik.

In the meantime a total shitstorm had broken loose. Thugs from all different gangs were flooding the pit and podium and started fighting each other. Tension and distrust from many years of gang wars finally burst into a cacophony of violence. Xana didn't know exactly how many swoop gangs there were, but she could see at least twenty different colors.

The fight with Brejik was a tough one. Bastila was visibly struggling against the restrainer on her head and seemed to be exhausted. Xana was still feeling shaky and weak from racing the swoop bike and had trouble landing powerful blows. Mission, Zaalbar and Carth tried to protect the two from blasterfire by engaging the other gangsters, but from time to time an energy blast still hit Xana's combat shield.

The Force was what saved them in the end. Bastila used it to push the bastard backwards, causing him to stumble and fall over. Their combined might then ripped through his shields, allowing Xana to slice his throat. As he lay dying Xana noticed the all-out war around her… skirmishes, smoke, fire, shouts, explosions; every sense was exposed to its terror. She also noticed a large quantity of Sith soldiers storming in to intervene. Things were quickly spiraling out of control.

She turned back to Bastila, just in time to catch her. The exhausted Jedi had simply fallen over and was now resting in Xana's arms. "Get this thing off my head," she grunted. Xana fumbled with the restrainer unit for a moment and quickly managed to get it off. Xana could feel relief wash over the woman, but then the Jedi fainted completely. This was extremely bad, Bastila was vulnerable and needed to be brought to a safe location a.s.a.p.

The scoundrel whistled her team over and indicated Zaalbar to pick up the Jedi. The group attempted to make their way out of the area, which was easier said than done. It was a total war right now, complete with explosions and barrages of blasterfire. Thankfully they weren't dressed in gang colors, meaning they weren't a high priority target for most gangsters. Strays that did bother them were quickly disposed of. It took them a while, but after a couple of fights they finally made it out of the violence. The group made a run for it, eager to get away from the gang war behind them.

* * *

Darth Bandon grinned as he saw the Jedi Knight being carried away. So _this_ was the famous Bastila Shan that had confronted the former Dark Lord? Pathetic. He also spotted the woman that had mercilessly sacrificed a fellow marine aboard the Endar Spire to get away from him. For that act of cruelty alone he had spared her life. But there was more, touching the Force he realized this woman had quite some potential to become a Sith Lord. The Force was like a whirlwind around her, untamed but brutal. He licked his lips as he continued studying the raven-haired marine, she was quite the looker.

As the Jedi was getting away in the arms of that hairy monster he laughed darkly. Bandon wasn't crazy. If he returned this woman to his master, he'd turn her to the dark side and pit her against his current apprentice. The victor would be the new apprentice and Bandon doubted it would be him, not versus the woman that had opposed Revan and survived. No, letting this woman run free for a little while longer was a much better idea. And seeing what the Jedi Council would do with the delicious, exotic, Force-sensitive woman with an appetite for cruelty was an interesting bonus. If _they_ let her potential go to waste, he certainly wouldn't. And he'd do much more to her, he thought with a lewd grin.

His eyes turned back to the war beneath him. Sending in Sith soldiers had been an excellent idea, the resulting slaughter was enough to still even _his_ hunger for darkness. But he would have more… much, much more. The Sith Cycle was going to continue and the first step was pruning it of these so called Grey Jedi. Former Dark Lord Revan was dead and Grey General Surik was cut off from the Force. The last maggot to carry the Grey genes was Malak. Regardless of his fall to the Dark Side he had to be erased. The one to have that honor was going to be Dark Lord Bandon.

* * *

The group continued running all the way to the abandoned apartment. Civilians from the Upper City shot them many undignified looks, as aliens were banned there, but right now they just didn't care. Inside the apartment they could finally relax. Zaalbar put Bastila down. The Jedi Knight had woken up and managed to get up to her feet. She was shivering and looked extremely frail, but at least she was alive and safe. Xana shot her an uncertain look. "Are you alright, Knight Shan?"

"Does it look like I'm alright?" the brunette asked hotly. "I've been locked up in a cage for days with that restrainer on my head. And when you finally decide it's time to check up on me you create such a mess that I have to use my last energy to get you out."

"It's true that it took us quite a while to track you down ma'am, but you have to give us some slack here. It's a massive city, there's no way we could've found you any sooner." The scoundrel was getting tired of defending herself against this bitchy Jedi. "Besides, without us you would still be locked up in that cage."

"Don't be ridiculous," Bastila snorted. "As you saw I managed to free myself just fine. And I would've gotten out of there without any trouble, regardless of your interference." Xana wanted to argue with this, but the Jedi held up a finger to shut her up. "Enough of this senseless chatter, we've already wasted enough time. Let's get off this planet, I need to speak with the Jedi Council urgently."

Xana and Carth gave each other an uncomfortable look. "That might be easier said than done," the flight commander told the Jedi reluctantly. "We don't have a ship and the entire planet is locked down. And then there's the massive Sith fleet up above."

The Jedi Knight folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "Almost three days. You've had almost three days and you're telling me you haven't got a plan to escape?" The two Republic marines nodded sheepishly. "Oh, that's just marvelous, isn't it? I thought I had recruited _competent_ soldiers for once, but now I have to find out that you two have been having a nice vacation while your superior was captured and possibly being subjected to torture and pain."

The arrogance of the woman stirred up Xana's anger, but her respect for the Jedi Knight tempered her. "Ma'am, you're being unreasonable here. Please let me…"

"Unreasonable?" The brunette interrupted. "_Unreasonable?_ You've had seventy hours to come up with a sound plan and all you've created is a big mess. And now you're depositing your problems on the Jedi Knight, because you don't have the ability to get something done yourself. You two should be ashamed of yourselves."

Anger now fully boiled inside the scoundrel's stomach. This woman was a power abusing piece of shit, just like every superior she had ever met. She finally snapped. "Oh really?" she snarled, while standing inches in front of the Jedi. "Then let me tell you this. While your cute Jedi butt was locked up inside that cage, I've gone through enough shit to last a lifetime. I dueled a drugged Rodian, got nearly tormented by a noble, nearly raped by a Sith soldier, collected the bounty of armed criminals, dodged the diseased claws of mutated corpses, wrestled a god damn rancor and risked my _fucking_ life on a _fucking_ swoop bike. So _no_, I am _not_ ashamed of myself, because I did everything in my power to get you little Jedi princess out. Why don't you learn a thing about gratitude and respect and then come back with your ungrounded accusations?"

The brunette's face paled even further and she was grasping for air. Then the most undignified look ever adorned her face. "How dare you use such language against me?"

Xana shook her head in sheer disbelieve and growled. "Forget it, I see how it is." She grabbed her gear and headed for the door. "I'm sick of being kicked around by power-whoring Admirals and I'm certainly not going to let that happen by some stuck-up Jedi. I wish you the best of luck, Knight Shan. You're certainly going to need it if you want to leave this planet alive." Without another look back she left through the door.

Zaalbar immediately went after her, bound by the life-debt. Mission shot the remaining pair a nervous glance, before rushing out as well. A highly offended Bastila and utterly shocked Carth remained behind.


	11. Bonded By Force

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Ten**

**Bonded by Force**

* * *

Carth gasped in disbelieve as he saw Grey leaving through the front door, with the two alien kids behind her. He looked at Bastila, who merely shook her head and glanced around the apartment. "Aren't you… aren't you going after her?" the flight commander asked uncertainly.

"I have neither the time nor the energy to deal with the quirks of a simpleminded marine," the Jedi Knight answered. She saw his look of shock. "Don't worry, once she has cooled down she will return."

"Return? Bastila, you just _chased_ her away with your impertinent attitude!"

"You're accusing _me_ of being impertinent?" The voice of the brunette had become extremely haughty, one of the woman's obvious flaws. "Just because Republic Admirals allow this girl to do as she pleases doesn't mean _I_ will. It's about time someone stepped up and taught her a thing about hierarchy and respect."

"While I agree on that I think you're being extremely unfair here. You haven't even heard our story and you already accuse us of being lazy and incompetent. Hell, you called her a simpleminded marine. You can say a lot about her, but she certainly isn't simpleminded. Quite the contrary in fact."

Bastila cocked an eyebrow. She made herself comfortable on the couch and indicated him to sit down as well. "You seem to be quite protective of your new colleague," she noted when he had sat down. "Is this a freshly developing love affair, or is she genuinely skilled?"

Carth snorted. "Bastila, she's about as straight as a circle." He allowed himself a small smile. "If there's anyone qualifying for said love affair it's you. She seems to have developed quite the crush on you." The knight rolled her eyes and he quickly continued. "But yes, she _is_ skilled. The entire reason we're sitting here safe and sound is her."

"Those are very bold statements you're making. Weren't you the one in charge?"

The pilot shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Err… no. Grey was adamant she'd be the one to lead. Would've abandoned the entire mission if she'd have to follow my orders."

An amused smile curled around the brunette's lips. "A war veteran being bossed around by a greenhorn girl with a serious attitude? This is a story I have to hear."

And so Carth began telling her everything. About the things she had accomplished during their short time on Taris, but also the things he learned about her troubled past and the way she interacted with him, Mission and Zaalbar. He did his best to describe her as positive as possible, because frankly she deserved all honor.

When he was done Bastila sighed. "It seems like I've completely misjudged her. Why does that infuriating woman have to act like such a child? It's not like she lacks the intelligence, judging from your story."

"I believe it's simply what life has made her," Carth ventured. "She practically grew up inside that prison. That must've been when her… troubling personality was formed."

"Perhaps," the Jedi said thoughtfully. "Regardless… we'll wait till she returns to us so we can start planning our escape."

Carth growled. "Why can't you just go after her and offer her your apologies? You know she deserves those. Or is this your pride taking over?"

"I'm not going to run around a hostile planet in my current state just to deal with the insecurities of a little girl. If she wants apologies she can get them, right here in this apartment."

The pilot shook his head and sighed. "You seem awfully confident that she'll return. Care to elaborate why?"

"She must have a thousand questions inside that little head of hers. She'll return for the answers."

"Is it about those visions she's been having?" Carth asked. "Visions of you fighting Revan?"

Bastila gave him a sharp glance. "She told you about those?"

"It was pretty hard to hide," he shrugged. "I noticed she was being plagued by nightmares and she had to get them off her chest." He eyed her curiously. "So what's going on with her?"

"Those are matters between me and Xana, you have absolutely no right to…" Suddenly her grey eyes grew wide in shock. "We must go, Xana is in grave danger."

* * *

Xana was aimlessly wandering around the Upper City with her two companions on her tail. Never before had she felt so angry. That blasted Jedi had pushed every button to rouse her fury, until she had snapped. Every trace of respect and love for the woman had completely vanished.

She wondered how those feelings of respect had ever entered her mind, this woman was everything she despised: supercilious, arrogant and bossy. It made her realize just how much she still had to ask the Jedi Knight. Last weeks had been an emotional rollercoaster, with visions of Revan, unfamiliar emotions for an unknown woman and last but not least Bastila popping up in her head and having a conversation with her. It was all so outlandish and weird that she started to doubt her own sanity.

Suddenly Mission grabbed her by the arm. "Grey, please stop this!" She was practically begging her.

"That woman! That woman is… she is… she's the most infuriating woman in the entire history of women!" Xana was actually struggling with her words, not a good sign. "I knew Jedi were supposed to be stuck-up and arrogant, but she takes things to a whole new level."

"Yes, she probably does," the Twi'lek admitted. "But you _need_ her! First of all she's your boss and second of all she has to answer all those questions that have been bothering you. So please return to her and try to talk this out, instead of walking around here. _Please?_"

Xana folded her arms. "I'm not going to return there so I can get scolded at again like a six year old."

"Come on Grey, she nearly fainted from exhaustion. Wouldn't you be grumpy under such circumstances?"

Doubt entered the scoundrel's mind. "I… well if you put it that way…"

Mission tugged her arm. "Let's go back, alright? You two have to talk this out like grown-up people."

Xana grinned sheepishly, the girl was right. They had both acted like little children and it probably only had to do with the fact that they were both drained and exhausted. She decided to return to the apartment, but found the exit of the dark alley they were in blocked. The other side was a dead end.

A man dressed in dark clothes approached them. He was hooded and masked, so the only visible part of his face were his beady, dark eyes. "Nice anger," he said in a deep voice. "And nice Force sensitivity. Looks like it's my lucky day."

"Look, I'm pretty busy right now," Xana said. "I don't have time to deal with some gothic drug-addict, so please step out of the way."

The man laughed darkly. "You have no idea who you're dealing with, do you? Let me enlighten you." He pulled something from his belt and activated it. It turned out to be a blood red lightsaber.

Xana swallowed. This might be an enemy beyond her skill. This Sith had her blocked inside the alley, without any chance of escape. "Alright, Mister Dark Jedi, how may I help you?"

The guy spat on the ground. "Dark Jedi? I am no Jedi, I am a Sith. A true Sith, not the military puppets you see prancing around in their shining armor. I am the kind of Sith that fries your brain with lightning to get what he wants." He seemed to grow under his own boastful words.

"And what is it you want, exactly?"

"We have orders to collect every creature with the capabilities of becoming a true Force-wielding Sith. You're a promising prospect, so you're going to have to come with me." He stepped forward, with his red lightsaber still activated. "And I'm afraid 'no' is not an acceptable answer."

The scoundrel shook her head in disbelieve. "What, me a Sith Lord? I'm afraid you're mistaking me for someone else, I'm just a sorry criminal, not a Force-wielder."

"I'm most certainly not mistaken. The Force is extremely strong within you, it might even rival Lord Malak's. With the proper training you'll become an immensely powerful weapon, a one-man-army if you will."

"A powerful weapon for Lord Malak, am I right?" Xana had no illusions about the Sith's intentions. If she decided to take his offer she'd be used and abused till the end of her days.

"An elite specialist serving directly under the Dark Lord of the Sith himself. You should be honored."

As he took another step forward, Xana and her kids took another one back. "I refuse to become the puppet of that asshole," she spat. "So no, I'm not interested."

The Sith hissed darkly and raised his lightsaber. "You disappoint me. Allow me to persuade you."

Just as he was about to strike he was enveloped in a blue aura and brutally smashed into the wall. "I thought she said she wasn't interested," came Bastila's voice from behind him. Xana didn't want to admit it, but she was glad to see the brunette Jedi approaching them. "Why don't you leave her alone?"

The Sith wheeled around and gasped when he saw who he was facing. "Bastila Shan," he grunted. He also saw Carth approaching and quickly did the math. One Jedi Knight, two marines and two armed thugs, this was a battle beyond his ability. He turned to the scoundrel. "Be glad your Jedi friend came when she did. Otherwise I would've killed your friends and tortured you until you were broken to my will. For now all I can do is see what the Jedi Order has in mind for you."

A blue aura surrounded him and in a flash he was gone. Xana breathed a sigh of relief, but when she saw Bastila's ashen face her own face fell. The Jedi collapsed, but the scoundrel caught her just in time. She dropped to her knees with the brunette in her arms. "Xana, I…" Bastila was breathing heavily and struggling with her words.

The scoundrel watched her with eyes full of concern. "What's going on Knight Shan?"

The Jedi was clinging to her like a drowning woman to a life buoy, helpless and desperate. "Merely… exhaustion. Don't… don't abandon me… please. I've made… mistakes… don't… leave…" The words became weaker.

"Don't worry," Xana soothed. "I won't abandon you." A faint smile curled around Bastila's lips, before she fainted completely.

* * *

Xana woke up that night with a warm body pressed against hers. After returning to the apartment they had stripped Bastila down to her underwear and put her in one of the beds. In her own exhaustion Xana had decided not to sleep on the floor, but rather step into the bed with Jedi. Somewhere during the night she had snuggled up to the scoundrel, and was now using Xana's shoulder as a pillow. In her unconsciousness Xana had wrapped her arm around the younger woman. A content smile curled around Bastila's lips and Xana was shocked when she realized why. Bastila was cupping Xana's breast with her hand and squeezing it gently.

The sight was so cute and implausible that the lieutenant couldn't suppress a small laugh. She felt her earlier anger and disapproval for the Jedi vanish instantly. Unfortunately the sound of her laugh woke the Jedi Knight up. She blinked sheepishly for a bit, before her position finally registered in her mind. "…what the hell, Xana?" She rolled over on her back, so that the two women were now lying side to side. "What's the meaning of this, you pervert?"

"P…pervert?" Xana stuttered in disbelieve. "_You_ were the one to curl up against me."

"That doesn't explain what you are doing in my bed."

"Look, I was exhausted and didn't want to sleep on the floor. It was either me or Carth to share a bed with you, so be glad."

"Just keep your hands of me," the Jedi grunted sleepily. "And give me your pillow." There was only a single pillow on the bed and Xana had been using it. Bastila's head was now directly lying on the mattress, not very comfortable.

Xana sighed and shoved the pillow under the brunette's head. "Here you go, princess." Bastila snorted and tried to get comfortable. Unfortunately for her the pillow wasn't a very good one. It was almost as thin as a blanket and despite her efforts she couldn't find a comfortable position. With a small cry of exasperation she flung the pillow across the room.

"This pillow sucks."

"Oh, that's great. Now we both don't have a pillow." Xana wasn't about to leave the bed to retrieve it, but was stopped by Bastila.

"Shut up and lend me your shoulder again." The Jedi curled up against the scoundrel again and rested her head on Xana's shoulder. "Much better," she sighed with a tiny smile. "And no funny business," she warned.

"Hey, you've already told me you're not interested in me," Xana muttered. "And yesterday's tirade was as good a confirmation as any."

For a second one of Bastila's grey eyes opened and watched the lieutenant. "I haven't acted very honorable yesterday, have I?"

"Not really," the scoundrel admitted.

"I apologize for that," the brunette muttered. "Carth told me the entire story, what you've gone through to rescue me. It was very unprofessional of me to snap at you and it shouldn't have happened. Exhaustion and frustration took over. But thank you for your efforts." She shifted a bit, and grabbed the scoundrel's waist to pull herself closer.

A hopeful thought entered Xana's brain. "Does that mean I still have a chance with you?"

The Jedi sighed. "I'm a Jedi, I close myself off to such feelings."

"But that doesn't mean they aren't there, does it?"

"Shut up and go to sleep," Bastila said evasively.

A lopsided grin curled around Xana's lips. "In that case I'm not going to give up on you."

The Jedi sighed in exasperation. "There are millions of beautiful and kind women in this universe. Why don't you go chase them instead of wasting your time on me?"

"Because I like you," the scoundrel said simply.

Bastila shook her head, but with a tiny smile around her lips. "Stop trying to take advantage of my exhaustion and get back to sleep."

"So I _do_ have a chance," Xana grinned, while she wrapped her arm around the younger woman and pulled her close.

"Stop tempting me and sleep, you idiot. That's an order."

* * *

Mission awoke on the couch next morning. Grey and the Jedi had taken one bed and Carth the other. She had fought over the bed with the Republic pilot a bit, but in the end she had offered it to him, claiming that grandpa had more need for a comfortable spot. The Twi'lek still grinned when thinking back on his offended reaction.

She got to her feet and waved hullo to Zaalbar. The big Wookie had offered to stay up all night and had kept watch. Wookies didn't need as much sleep as other species after all. Carth was also up and checking his gear at the workbench. He gave her a curt nod, which she returned. She went to check up on her boss and was treated with the cutest sight ever. The Jedi had snuggled up against the lieutenant and both were sleeping serenely. The girl chuckled, they looked completely at peace, like they belonged together. A far cry from yesterday's fight.

She genuinely hoped the fighting would be over now. Mission didn't like seeing her boss angry, she was so much nicer when she was laidback and relaxed. And the Jedi Knight was simply frightening. Zaalbar and she had only learned yesterday that Xana's boss was actually a Jedi Knight. It had come as quite a shock. The Twi'lek decided to stay as far away from the brunette as possible. Unless that woman decided to torment her boss any further, of course. In that case she would have to step in.

* * *

Xana awoke with the Jedi still sleeping firmly against her. She smiled when looking into her beautiful, peaceful face. Her heart ached a bit when she realized she'd never have this woman, she had no illusions that it would ever work out. Sure, she had feelings for the Jedi Knight and she was certain that Bastila had at least a bit of feelings for her as well – tonight's little conversation was proof enough of that – but their paths just lay too far apart for it to ever work.

Bastila stirred against her and opened a grey eye. She looked at Xana questioningly for a second and then wordlessly left the bed, before vanishing into the shower. Once she heard water running Xana got out as well. She bid her team good morning. Mission was staring at her with a puzzled expression. "Hey there Mission, did you sleep well?"

"I did. What happened between you and Lady Shan?"

"I guess we made up… somewhat. She apologized to me."

Mission smiled a bit. "That's good. So are you like… a couple now?"

Xana laughed sourly. "No, we're not. And probably never will be either." The Twi'lek looked a bit surprised. "She's a Jedi Knight, I'm a Republic marine. There's not a single scenario I could think of where we'd be a happy couple."

"Hmm, you're probably right." Mission sighed. "Too bad though, you two would make a cute couple. Although that lady is scary." She grinned to herself. "But you are too, so I guess it would fit."

Xana laughed and patted her on the head affectionately. She then had a silent breakfast with a good cup of coffee. You could say a lot about Carth, but he knew how to make a strong cup of Joe. When she was done eating Bastila returned from the shower, fully dressed. She looked a lot healthier after a long night of sleep. "Go take a shower," the Jedi ordered her curtly. "After that we'll talk."

Being ordered around struck a nerve, but the scoundrel decided not to break the peace and did as she was told. After a hot, refreshing shower she dressed up in her black combat suit and entered the living area. She faced the Jedi Knight. "I have questions."

"I may have the answers," Bastila said. She eyed the Twi'lek and the Wookie. "Do you wish to discuss this in private?"

"I trust Mission and Zaalbar with my life," Xana said simply. "Carth is your responsibility, but I suggest you let him listen in. He's part of this now, after all." Bastila nodded to show she was okay with that. "Let's begin at the start then, shall we?" the scoundrel said. "Ever since I've met you I've been having strange visions of you fighting Revan. I've also had feelings of respect for you that shouldn't be there. And yesterday at the swoop race you were suddenly in my head, having a conversation with me. Am I going mad?"

Bastila gave her a long, thoughtful stare. "You are not going mad," she said after a long silence. "Normally I'd leave this up to the Jedi Council to discuss with you, but under the current circumstances…" She continued studying the scoundrel. Xana felt a bit uncomfortable under the gaze, those grey eyes seemed to penetrate her soul. "Something strange happened between us. I don't know how, when or why, but it seems we are connected though the Force."

Xana stared at her with big eyes. "You mean a Force bond?"

Bastila cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "You know about those?"

"I'm a bit of a reader," she admitted sheepishly. "But can't such a bond only develop between two Jedi?"

"You're partially correct. Usually it forms between two Jedi, for example between a master and a padawan or between two knights who operate together for extended periods of time. But technically it can develop between anyone, as long as they're both sensitive to the Force."

"I see." Xana looked into those grey eyes for a moment, before it clicked. "Wait, what? You mean to say the Sith dude was right? I'm Force sensitive? I can become a Jedi?"

"Yes and no. You _are_ Force sensitive but you can't become a Jedi." Bastila looked amused for a second. "If you were twenty years younger, maybe."

"Oh… I see." She sounded disappointed, which rewarded her with a curious look from Bastila.

"Didn't you want to leave the Republic to free yourself from 'power-whoring' Admirals? Why are you so eager to submit yourself to the Council instead?"

"Hmm, I guess they wouldn't give me as much slack as the brass, would they?" Xana ventured with a mischievous smirk.

The Jedi Knight gave her a brisk look. "You've seen the way I deal with you and your pranks. The masters are even more strict then I am."

"Ah well, thought it would be nice to train as a Jedi. Have a purpose for a while, a goal. Not to mention it'd make life much easier." Xana shrugged it away. "So this bond… what does it actually mean? I mean, it can't just have developed without a reason, can it?"

"I don't know," Bastila said with a sigh. "The only thing I know is that the Force had brought us together. For what purpose, I do not know."

"Maybe to tell us it's okay to have steamy sex all night long?" Xana asked with a sly grin. A grin that dropped instantly when Bastila shot her a murderous look. "S-Sorry, ma'am. Just being silly." Despite her apology Xana felt a ray of hope in her heart again. This bond sounded serious, if they were bound together a relationship between them might just work. Bastila might try her hardest to push her away, but Xana knew the truth and clung on to that.

"This is not a game, Xana. These bonds are extremely rare and extremely dangerous. They transfer emotions and thoughts between the two linked, but also feelings like pain… I don't even know what happens if one of us dies. How do you think I feel about being linked to an opportunist scoundrel who thinks with her hormones instead of her brain?"

"Err… that must be rather frightening, ma'am. But I assure you self-preservation is my top priority. I won't be running off into certain death."

"That is some reassurance, at least. The fact still stands that our fates are linked. I must take you to the Jedi Council, so they can study our bond and figure out what it means."

"So I'll be traveling to Dantooine with you?"

"Indeed you are." Bastila got to her feet and looked down on the other woman. "Or are you going to run away, like you originally intended to do?"

The knowledge the Jedi had over her was frightening. "Of course I won't ma'am. What if you get hurt without my help? Or die? Nah, I'll stick around you for a bit longer."

The Jedi snorted. "You seem rather confident of your abilities…" Her eyes darkened. "And rather dismissive of _my_ abilities. Just be aware that _I_ am the one in charge of this mission, and you _will_ obey me. I have ways of dealing with disobedient subordinates and I'm sure you won't like them."

"Alright, fine." Xana didn't like it, but submitting to this woman might be a smart thing to do for now. She knew Bastila's threats weren't idle, the days of doing whatever she wanted seemed to have come to an end. "One tip though: listen to your subordinates before jumping to conclusions. It'll make things much easier."

Bastila gave her a sharp look. "I believe I have already apologized for that slip and you're aware why it happened. Are you going to hold that mistake against me for the rest of our mission? Or have we reached the age and the wisdom where we can forgive and forget?"

"Just making sure," the scoundrel shrugged, not intimidated by the Jedi's words. "So, are you fit for the mission? You've spent days in that cage with that neural disruptor on your head."

"I'm fit, although my attunement with the Force is somewhat off. Nothing a long meditation session won't fix, but we don't have the time for that now. My Force powers might not pack the same punch as they used to, but it's nothing for you to worry about."

"Good. So these gangsters didn't hurt you then? Torture you? …rape you?"

"Thank you for your concern, but no. They did no such things to me." Bastila turned to the Wookie and the Twi'lek. "So what's the story with you two?" she asked, with a bit of amusement in her voice.

"They're with me," Xana said. "Mission the Twi'lek and Zaalbar the Wookie. Zaalbar swore a life-debt to me after I saved his life, and Mission goes wherever he goes. They're friends… and very skilled."

The Jedi studied the pair for a while. Mission seemed to shrink under her gaze, but then Bastila gave them a small smile. "Carth told me about your efforts, for which I thank you. I hope you will lend your aid for a little while longer?"

The Twi'lek grabbed Xana's arm possessively. "I got wherever Grey goes! Not even a Jedi Knight can separate me from my boss."

Xana smiled and patted her head. "Gee, thanks Blue. That means a lot to me."

Mission seemed to glow under the affection and Bastila chuckled. "Clear enough. I won't separate you from your precious boss. Just keep in mind that the Jedi Council might decide otherwise, should they have plans for Xana."

"I thought I couldn't become a Jedi?" the scoundrel inquired. "They can't actually boss me around if I'm not a Jedi, right?"

"The Council is a powerful institution. The Republic rarely disobeys their decisions, so you're pretty much at their mercy. But frankly I have no idea what's going to happen to you… or us, for that matter."

"Then we must get off this planet and find out."

At that moment they were surprised by the chiming of the doorbell. All of them immediately went for their weapons and eyed each other nervously. Had the Sith found them? Bastila indicated Xana to open the door. With her vibrosaber steady in hand and under the cover of her four companions she opened it.

When the door opened she came face to face with not a Sith, but with a rather beautiful Twi'lek woman. The Twi'lek let out a tiny squeal when she saw the weapons being aimed at her, but Xana quickly lowered it and indicated the group to do the same. "Don't hurt me!" the woman said in Huttese. "I'm just a messenger."

"Calm down," Xana answered, speaking in Huttese as well. "We're not going to hurt you. Please tell me your message."

"Canderous Ordo wishes to speak with Saber, arena and swoop bike champion. He said that if you were interested in escaping this planet alive, he might have an interesting offer. You'll find him in the Lower City cantina." The woman said it all very quickly and glanced around nervously, clearly afraid of getting hurt.

"Alright lady, thanks for the info." The scoundrel handed her twenty credits. "This is for the scare," she smiled. The Twi'lek took the money gratefully and quickly ran away.

Once Xana had closed the apartment door Bastila gave her an inquiring look. "A Mandalorian?"

"Yes, a powerful mercenary working for the Exchange. I believe he's genuine with this offer… He wants to leave this planet to look for glory – I made sure of that – and needs us to accomplish that." She gave Bastila a significant look. "And he's not the type of guy to throw his life away."

The Knight nodded. "Alright, if you trust him we should investigate this Ordo." She gave the scoundrel an amused grin. "Saber?"

Xana shook her head in embarrassment. "Don't ask."

"Hmm. Alright, Xana and Carth come with me. Zaalbar and Mission stay here in the apartment."

Both kids cried in outrage. "I'm not leaving Grey's side!" Mission said hotly.

"We can't go around town with the five of us," the knight countered. "It'll draw far too much attention."

"I have to agree with her," Xana said to the two aliens. "It's best if you two stayed behind."

"You know I can't leave your side Grey," the Wookie grunted. "I have to accompany you no matter what."

"Hmm, he's right," the scoundrel told Bastila. "Zaalbar is bound by the life-debt, so he has to come."

"Fine. Xana and Zaalbar with me, Carth and Mission stay behind. End of discussion." Mission opened her mouth to tell just how much she disagreed with the Jedi, but Bastila shut her up with a threatening glare.

The Twi'lek cowered away under those silver eyes. "Yes ma'am," she muttered.

Bastila gave her a nod of approval and started preparing. Xana and Zaalbar prepared as well, grabbing their weapons and enough aides. The scoundrel looked at a medpack thoughtfully and turned to the Jedi. "Do we need these now you're with us? I mean you can heal us using the Force, right?"

"Serious injuries I can cure, but for the cuts and bruises you better use a medpack. Force healing is extremely exhausting and I'd rather preserve my energy."

Xana nodded and packed some of the medpacks. After a while Carth noticed that Bastila was taking a vibrosword with her. "What's with the sword?" he inquired. "Aren't you supposed to carry a lightsaber?"

"When I crash-landed on this planet I immediately fainted. It was… misplaced." The Knight seemed to have gotten rather defensive.

Carth snorted. "You _lost_ your lightsaber? Isn't that a very embarrassing thing to do for a Jedi?" Xana laughed as well, but they were both shut up by a murderous glare from Bastila.

"Such a thing is no laughing matter," she huffed indignantly. "Why don't you two grow up and stop acting like children?"

"Err, sorry Bastila," Carth said. "Just seemed like a…" He saw two steel grey eyes almost slashing him and hung his head. "Ah, never mind."

When the group was done with their preparations, Xana turned to the Jedi with a lewd grin. "Let's go then, _bondmate_."

"Is it truly necessary to make it sound so… perverted?" Bastila inquired with a small sigh.

"Come on baby, you know you want it."

"You know it'll never happen," the Jedi countered, silver eyes flaring dangerously. "You better drop this subject forever if you know what's best for you."

"Sorry Knight Shan," Xana said cheerfully. "Won't happen again." The naughty glimmer in her bright green eyes betrayed that she was lying, but Bastila ignored it with gritted teeth. Someone was going to get hurt real soon.

* * *

**A/N:** So yeah, I've upped the cuteness level on this one, hope you don't mind. A femslash story needs cute moments after all. There will be more of that later, but I think it's been enough for the time being. Next chapter Bastila will step on the brakes and show Xana who's boss. Oh, the struggle!

This is one of those chapters that have been floating around on one of my USB sticks for years. The idea for this story has been in my head for so long that I'm glad I'm finally forging it into one big story and releasing it for you to enjoy. Please encourage me to finish it with your reviews and favorites.


	12. Dealing With a Jedi Princess

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Dealing With a Jedi Princess**

* * *

When the trio stepped from the dim apartment complex out into the sunlit Upper City, Bastila took a long deep breath. Xana watched the ongoing transformation of the brunette with pleasure; she had changed from a pale, frail woman into a powerful, healthy Jedi Knight in the prime of life. The scoundrel felt safe with the Jedi, after all she was one of the heroes of the Jedi Civil Wars. Without her Battle Meditation things would look much bleaker for this galaxy right now.

The Knight saw the scoundrel staring at her and raised an eyebrow. Xana merely grinned. "Good to be outside again, 'ey ma'am?"

"It sure is," the brunette agreed. "Being caged like that is not something I wish to experience again."

"Tell me about it," Xana sighed. "I know all about being locked up. If I hadn't gotten out when I did I'm afraid I…" Her voice broke and she hung her head. "I'm just glad I'm out."

Bastila studied her with eyes full of concern, full of knowledge. She patted the scoundrel's shoulder briefly, but otherwise ignored the topic. Now was neither the time nor the place for it. "You're familiar with the area, so you better lead the way."

"Relinquishing command already, Knight Shan?" Xana's gloom vanished instantly and she grinned like she had just won the lottery. The scoundrel was not giving up command without a fight. If someone wanted to boss her around she had to _earn_ that right and frankly Bastila hadn't shown any real leader capabilities yet. Unfortunately the reinvigorated Jedi wasn't going to take the bait, but had regained her characteristic Jedi coolness.

Bastila was one of those women that radiated a silent authority. Just a sharp glance from those grey eyes could shut you up and make you feel stupid, useless and incompetent. Hell, she could probably make you regret being born with a look alone. Xana wanted to say she was able to resist that look – after all she was quite capable of producing it herself too – but sadly she couldn't. When Bastila flailed her with her grey eyes after her little joke, she hung her head and muttered an apology.

The Jedi held the stern gaze for a moment longer, just to make sure the message was conveyed loud and clear. Then she indicated the lieutenant to lead the way. Xana did as she was told this time, she wasn't stupid after all. During her time in the Republic she had become quite an adept line-crosser. There were moments where you could cross the line and get away with it, but seeing Bastila's dark look told her this was no such time.

* * *

Things didn't get much better when they passed Zelka Forn's medical clinic. Zaalbar – shy as he may be – decided it was time to remind Xana she still had the Rakghoul serum in her possession. This was a topic that greatly interested the Jedi. The scoundrel had to explain the situation with the mutants in the Undercity and the cure they had found for it.

"That's excellent," the Jedi said, once Xana was done with her explanation. "This doctor will be able to produce large quantities of the cure and spread it to those in need. Let's bring him the sample immediately."

Xana was a bit reluctant. "Forn's not the only one interested in the cure. We could also sell it to the Exchange for a big sum of credits."

The effect on Bastila's face was downright frightening, as it became cold as ice. She stepped just a foot in front of the scoundrel and gave her a cold glare. "Give me the serum," she said silently. Xana quickly grabbed the strongbox out of her inner pocket and handed it over. "I'm deeply disappointed in you. Selling this to a criminal organization over the backs of thousands of diseased people? Maybe you should've gone with that Sith instead."

"Look, I figured we might need the money to get off this planet," the lieutenant defended, not happy with the Jedi's disapproval. "But you're right, we should give it to the doctor. He can do good things with it, where the Exchange would only use it to enrich themselves."

"Be extremely careful Xana," the Jedi whispered. "People have corrupted themselves over lesser evils. You might think you have the willpower to resist such temptations, but as a veteran from the Jedi Civil Wars I know better."

The scoundrel got defensive. "While I don't doubt your wisdom, you can't expect me to become a prodigy of Light all of a sudden. That's not the way I am."

"Neither am I," Bastila said honestly. "Sometimes things need to be done that stroke with your morals or code. I'm probably the last Jedi Knight to shy away from such actions. But that doesn't mean you can just indulge yourself in whatever pleasures you wish. There's a clear distinction between doing what you must and simply being wanton."

Xana slowly processed what the Jedi had said, it seemed that this woman had a very realistic view of the universe. She certainly didn't sound like your typical light side bigot. Maybe the two of them weren't too far apart. She gave the Jedi a nod in understanding, which visibly surprised Bastila. After a contemplative moment the knight rewarded her with an approving smile.

Without another word the Jedi stepped into the clinic, but Xana lingered behind and wondered why it felt so good to get the approval of the brunette. Had she been reduced to an obedient puppy, looking to please her master?

"She has a big effect on you," Zaalbar said suddenly. "I think it's good you have a mentor now."

"Oh really?" the scoundrel asked tersely. "And what makes you think that?"

The Wookie didn't notice her tense mood. "You're inherently a good and honorable woman, but you can be brutal and impulsive. You could use a strong teacher to temper you. And she's wise, you should listen to what she has to say."

Xana gritted her teeth, so even her Wookie servant was under the impression that she'd just submit to the Jedi Knight. Sure, Bastila might be a clever little lady, but the scoundrel wasn't bowing down to her just because of that. Not without a fight anyway.

She entered the clinic after the Jedi and spotted her talking with the doctor. Instead of joining the conversation she decided to snoop around the medical facility for a bit. The room was lined with interesting machines, with many tubes, bottles and pumps attached. Seeing all that technology made her want to dissect every single apparatus to study the inner workings, but she resisted that impulse. It wouldn't make the doctor very happy.

She continued looking around the area and found a locked door at the far end. Her curiosity got the better of her and she quickly picked the lock. The door opened with some noise, alerting the doctor to what she'd done. "Halt! You can't go in there."

Bastila groaned when she saw the scoundrel at the unpicked door. "Xana, you can't just sneak into people's private prop…" Her mouth fell open when she saw what was behind the door. Floating in kolto tanks were four Republic marines. "These are… those people served on the Endar Spire."

The doctor's eyes grew wide in surprise. "You _know_ these men? You mean you're with the Republic as well?"

The brunette studied the doctor for a moment, before coming to the conclusion he wasn't going to sell them out to the Sith. "They served under me aboard the Republic ship that has been destroyed overhead three days ago."

"You're in real danger then," Zelka said with apprehension in his voice. "I don't need to tell you that the Sith execute every Republic soldier without question. These four poor blokes were brought in under the cover of night. I've been nursing them back to life, but it has been a dangerous affair. The Sith have questioned me three times already, asking if any suspicious people had come to my clinic. Been able to lie my way out of it, but it has been stressful."

"You have my gratitude for taking care of these men," Bastila said kindly. "We're in the process of getting transport off the planet. Once we're set to leave we'll pick these men up so we can return them to their families. Can I ask you to take care of them a little while longer?"

"Certainly ma'am, although with all due respect: the sooner they're gone, the better."

"I understand. We shall try to make haste."

After talking with the doctor for a little while longer the trio left the clinic. Xana turned to Bastila. "So there are still some decent people left on this trash planet. I was starting to wonder where they had all gone."

"Yes, I'm sure he'll do good things with the Rakghoul serum." She shot the scoundrel a meaningful look, but didn't say anything. Xana looked a bit ashamed and was glad she didn't press the matter.

* * *

When they reached the guarded elevator into the Lower City Xana groaned and clasped her forehead. "Shit, forgot. We need to disguise ourselves in the Sith armor to go down. We have to return to the apartment to get it."

Bastila sighed. "Worrying about such trivialities," she said haughtily, before confidently stepping toward the guard.

The Sith noticed them approaching and raised his weapon. "Halt! The Lower City is under lockdown. Please turn around and leave." The Jedi waved her hand and muttered something, after which the Sith suddenly lowered his weapon. "Everything seems to be in order. I'll call up the elevator."

Xana felt her jaw drop down and Bastila looked smug from her amazement. "You're forgetting you're travelling with a Jedi Knight now."

Once the trio had stepped inside the elevator and the door had closed behind them, the scoundrel regained some of her composure. "How?" she managed to ask.

"The Force encompasses everything, even the mind. As such it's possible for a Force wielder to manipulate it."

Xana let out a low whistle. "Now _that's_ a useful ability. Couldn't you get anything you want using that?"

The Jedi folded her arms. "Remember what I told you about temptations? The possibilities of mind control are virtually endless, certainly in the hands of someone with a strong will. But with great power comes great responsibility, and these mind tricks violate the individual's free will. Just how far will you go to achieve your goals? The moral issues are under heavy debate by the Jedi."

"But not by the Sith, I presume?"

"The Sith use it as a tool, just like they do with everything. Thankfully those who fall for the temptations of the dark side are usually of lesser mind. They possess not nearly the amount of willpower necessary to completely take over a mind, certainly not a trained one like a Jedi's."

"What about the Sith Lords? You'd reckon Malak has the power to control even a Jedi Master."

Bastila snorted. "Malak is not nearly as powerful as people like to think. The only reason he hasn't been killed yet is because of his seemingly endless amount of spaceships. But yes, someone with an extremely strong will could probably use the Force to sway even a Master. Fortunately the only Sith Lords I could think of with that kind of capability are Exar Kun and Revan, so we've got nothing to fear anymore."

Xana cocked an eyebrow. "You don't seem to hold the _current_ Dark Lord of the Sith in high esteem?"

"He's a betrayer and a leech," the Jedi spat. "He abused the strong fundament lain down by Revan to achieve his own perverted goals."

Her words confused the scoundrel even more. "Is it just me or do are you actually… praising Revan?"

At that moment the elevator doors slid open and Bastila shook her head, looking self-conscious. "I've said too much about this subject already. Forget about it." She stepped out of the elevator and refused to answer any more questions.

* * *

Canderous Ordo was sitting at one of the small tables in the cantina. His feet were resting lazily on the tabletop and he was enjoying a glass of beer. How he managed to stomach this early in the morning was beyond Xana. They had decided that the scoundrel would take the word, so she greeted him casually and took a seat at his table. "What's up, Ordo?"

He glanced at the Wookie and brunette for a second. "Who's the new bitch?"

The Jedi folded her arms and gave him a dark glare. He returned it stoically. "She's my boss," Xana said simply.

"Oh? A woman of your caliber being bossed around? That strikes me as odd."

"_My_ boss is hot, what's _your_ excuse?"

He grinned. "Touché." He took his feet of the table and bent forward, not to be overheard. "Your words have been haunting my mind. Working for Davik _is_ honorless, I see that now. I need to get off this planet and find a new purpose."

"And for that you need me." It was a statement, not a question.

"Saber, you've defeated Twitch and won the swoop race. Rumor has it that you even killed Brejik and some of his generals. If there's anyone capable of escaping this planet it's you. I've made a plan. If you're interested I'll share it with you."

Xana folded her arms. "My interest depends on the quality of your plan, now doesn't it?"

The Mandalorian grinned again. "A true businesswoman I see. Whatever, you need my help for the plan anyway." He took another gulp of his beer and started talking. "When trying to leave this planet you're facing two lethal problems. The first one is the Sith's planet wide automated defense system. Every ship is officially grounded, if you try to take off you're fried within seconds. Unless you have official launch codes."

Xana thought about the problem. "The only one I can think of to have such codes is a high ranking Sith official."

Ordo nodded. "The Sith Governor for example. He's got himself holed up inside that Sith Base close to here. You might be able to raid the base and alleviate him from the codes."

The scoundrel cocked an eyebrow. "Really Ordo? Raiding a military base?"

"Hey you survived a gang war. Personally I'd rather face those Sith pussies than ruthless gangsters. Your biggest problem will be security, but I've got that covered. I've recently ordered a T3 utility droid from Janice at the Upper City. Figured it might be useful someday, figured correctly. Tell her I've send you and the droid is yours."

"How much will that little bugger set me back exactly?"

"The selling price is 2000 credits." He saw her shocked expression and laughed. "But Janice is a weak Twi'lek lady, who constantly has to fight over her right to run a shop in the Upper City. Convincing her to hand it over for free is a piece of cake, certainly if you drop the name of Davik Kang."

Xana glanced over at Bastila, who looked disapprovingly. She turned back to Ordo. "We'll figure it out. So then what?"

"Once you've got those codes we face the second problem, which is that fucking Sith fleet over our heads. Leave Taris' atmosphere and you'll have them on your tail. You're going to need a damn fast ship to outrun those. That's where I come in, or rather my boss. Davik's ship, the _Ebon Hawk_, is said to be the fastest ship in the galaxy. If there's one ship on this planet capable of outrunning the Sith, it's that one."

Xana shook her head. "The ship of a powerful Exchange boss. How do you propose we steal it?"

"It's locked away at Davik's mansion." He studied the scoundrel for a moment. "You look like someone who can take care of herself. And you've made quite a name for yourself. My plan is the following: I put you forward as a possible recruit for the Exchange's higher ranks. He will invite us over to his mansion to check you out. Standard procedure for new candidates is an extensive background check. You'll be locked inside the mansion during that time."

"And when we're there we steal his ship," Xana finished. She smiled. "That might just work."

She glanced over at Bastila, who nodded. "I'm afraid it's the best we have at the moment. If you're confident we can trust this Mandalorian I suggest we take his offer."

Ordo looked at her gruffly. "Your boss seems arrogant. Are you sure you should be taking orders from a woman like that?"

"I shouldn't." The scoundrel got to her feet. "But I'm afraid I don't have a choice." Bastila shook her head in disapproval but proudly ignored them. "Set up the meeting with Kang," Xana told Ordo. "We'll return with the codes within two hours."

"Feeling confident huh?" Ordo barked a loud laugh. "I like you. See you in two."

* * *

On their way out Xana noticed a rather sad looking Twi'lek woman. She approached her and inquired what was wrong. "I want to become a dancer in the cantina," the woman explained. "But I don't have a suitable partner for the auditions. Like this I can never become a star."

A lopsided grin curled around Xana's lips. "Lady, time to cheer up and look smart, because you've found your partner right here. Tell me where the auditor is so we can get started."

The Twi'lek studied her for a second and her face lit up. "You're a beautiful woman. Do you know how to dance?"

"Boy, do I know!" Xana grinned confidently. "Let's go get you that contract."

Xana didn't know how to dance of course, but she _did_ know how to seduce a man. So when the music started she just pushed herself against the Twi'lek and started making sexual motions. The Twi'lek was startled for a moment, but then realized what her partner was trying to achieve. With a naughty smile she started copying the motions. Soon hands started to travel across soft flesh and Xana even found soft lips inside her neck. To take things further she pressed her leg against the Twi'lek's crotch and was rewarded with a soft moan in her ear. The softness of that body and the heath of that breath were extremely arousing and the scoundrel had to admit she enjoyed every second of it.

When the music stopped the auditor clapped his hands enthusiastically and Xana could see many men studying the couple with lewd interest. The Twi'lek had gotten the contract and gave Xana a big hug and kiss on the cheek to thank her. The scoundrel received it all with pleasure, but when she looked around she saw Bastila storming out of the cantina. "Uh oh."

Out on the street Xana quickly caught up with the Jedi. She chuckled when she saw the state the woman was in. "You've got a fever or something? Your face and ears are all red."

"I… you… have you got no shame?" Bastila asked furiously.

"Aww, you're jealous," Xana smiled sweetly. "I can dance with you as well, baby."

"Preposterous. Don't make such indecent suggestions. I'm not about to sell my body so some men can leer over me."

"We could do it in private," the scoundrel suggested. "Just me, you and that curvaceous body of yours."

Bastila's face turned possibly even redder. "I told you to stop making indecent suggestions. What even made you decide to dance like that in such a place?"

"Hey, she's got a paid job now. Weren't you the one saying you sometimes need to do things that stroke with your morals? Sure, it was morally wrong to dance like that with a strange woman, certainly now you're my _bondmate_." The lecherous way she pronounced the last word made Bastila look away in shame. "But getting her off the streets was a pretty good action, wasn't it? I'd say I'm on the path of the light side right now."

"Sure Xana, very noble," Bastila said through gritted teeth. "I'm sure you'll get added to the list of great heroes of the modern era."

"What can I say, I feel pretty accomplished." She wanted to tease the Jedi further, but she saw that the brunette was absolutely furious and possibly planning to flail her with the Force. It made her realize she was only pushing Bastila away from her with her antics, not make her open up like she intended to. In her rush to get closer to her bondmate she had been as tactful as a sledgehammer. "Knight Shan, I'm sorry for my indecent behavior."

Bastila cocked an eyebrow. "Where does this come from, all of a sudden?"

"I made a mistake, talking to you like that was beyond the pale. Please don't let this stand in between us, not now this Bond is forcing us to work together."

The knight studied her for a moment. "I'm not an object for you to lust after."

"I don't think you are, honestly. I'm sorry for making you feel that way." She extended her hand to the woman. "We shouldn't become enemies," she said honestly. "Forgive and forget, right?"

The Knight studied her for a moment and saw that the scoundrel was being sincere. Her face broke into a relieved smile and she shook the hand. "Forgive and forget," she agreed. Xana returned the smile. If a relationship wasn't one of the options right now, being friends was a damn good alternative.

* * *

"So how many credits do we have?" Bastila inquired as they were approaching the droid shop.

"Exactly 2122," the scoundrel answered, with a bit of an embarrassed grin.

The Jedi let out an exasperated sigh. "So after this purchase we're pretty much broke?"

Xana scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Err, I guess…"

The brunette shook her head. "Can you explain me why there was no note on your record that you have the finance control of a four year old?"

"That hurts, Knight Shan. We didn't exactly have a steady income here and equipment and aides are expensive."

"I can see that," the Jedi said with a glance at Xana's combat suit. "Got yourself nicely dressed up in that suit of yours."

The lieutenant got defensive. "Hey, I needed a proper combat suit. And it looks good on me, doesn't it?"

"While I would be the last one to disagree with that, the good looks are unnecessary and excessive. A regular combat suit would've cost you about half the credits."

"Are you going to scold me about everything?" Xana asked gruffly.

"You bet I am. If you can't even get the basics right it's my duty as your commander to educate you."

The Jedi had gotten that air of superiority again, a thing that rubbed Xana the wrong way. Sure, it was the duty of the commander to educate her subordinates, but not by being excessively patronizing. She might be a skilled Jedi Knight and a war hero, but she could certainly learn a thing or two about good leadership and respect. Unfortunately it wouldn't be wise to confront the brunette with it right now. Telling her plainly that she sucked as a leader wouldn't improve their professional relationship, and that could be lethal now they were trapped behind enemy lines. So instead she just swallowed the reproach with silent pride.

"If you wouldn't have bought that luxury we wouldn't have these problems right now," Bastila added.

"Sure could've used that Exchange money from the Rakghoul serum now, huh?" Xana joked.

The Jedi looked at her like she was a speck of dirt on the floor. "If that's supposed to be witty your humor is in very bad taste."

"Come on ma'am, I'm just trying to lighten the mood here. Or are Jedi forbidden to have fun by Code? There is no humor, there is gloom?"

"So now you're ridiculing the Jedi Code? If you're trying to get on my good side you're doing an awfully poor job."

The scoundrel heaved a resigned sigh. "Forget it. Sorry for trying to be cheerful. And sorry for wasting our precious credits. Why don't you let me work out a proper discount for the droid to make up for it?"

The Jedi folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "What? By threatening that poor lady that you're part of the Exchange? Forget it."

Xana looked offended. "Hey, I'm not like that. I'd never do such a thing to an innocent civilian." Her eyes became mischievous. "And you know I'd never mistreat a beautiful woman," she added with a smirk.

Bastila rolled her eyes. "Forget it, I'm making the purchase." She wanted to step past the scoundrel, but Xana stopped her.

She looked rather serious. "Look Knight Shan, all respect for your skills, but I know you're not a people's person. _I_ am. A good leader knows when it's best to delegate a job to a minion, if that minion has a better chance of success."

"Fine," Bastila snarled. "Let's put that supposed silver tongue of yours to the test."

Xana grinned. "Thanks boss." She turned to the Wookie. "Zaalbar, you better stay outside. Knight Shan, just follow my lead."

She grabbed Bastila by the arm and pulled her with her into the shop. "Oooh, look sis, it _is_ the right place," she said loudly and extremely enthusiastically. She scanned the shop for a second, before her eye fell on something on one of the shelves. "Oh my gosh, look over there!" She rushed over to the object, while still pulling along the Jedi. "It's totally that newly released Sensor Probe. Look Diane, it uses three additional gyroscopes over the old model so it's even more stable when handling explosives."

"That's awesome," Bastila said dully. If she was surprised by Xana's sudden act she didn't show it.

"Too bad my unit doesn't have the required software to install it," the scoundrel pouted.

The proprietor of the shop had noticed the odd duo and approached them with a tiny smile. "Welcome to Janice's Droid Shop," she greeted. "I'm Janice, at your service."

Xana's smile widened. "Hai! Is this stuff all yours? I mean you can tinker with it all day long?"

The enthusiasm rubbed off on the Twi'lek. "It sure is. And yes, I tinker with this all day, that's my job after all."

"I'm like _so_ jealous right now." The scoundrel looked positively awed. "I wish I could work on my unit all day long, but Diane won't let me."

"You're a grown woman, _Greta_." If Xana could come up with stupid names, so could Bastila. "You've got to take responsibility."

Xana gave Janice a resigned smile, but then her eye fell on something at the counter. "Oh my gosh, is that a Security Interface Tool?"

"That's right," Janice said as she picked up the unit to show her customer. "It comes with brand-new v5.2 software installed, to work with even the most advanced terminals."

"Ooh, the 5.2 patch totally got rid of that rerouting bug, didn't it? It's beautiful!" Xana nearly drooled over the piece of hardware.

"We're not buying that," Bastila called from the back of the shop, where she was studying the different droid parts with healthy disinterest.

"She's such a killjoy," the scoundrel whispered at the Twi'lek.

"I heard that."

Xana's eyes grew. "And frightening." Her scared face softened. "I still love her though."

Janice chuckled and Bastila sighed. "Are you going to do what we came for, or are you going to discuss me with a total stranger?"

"Oh, that's right!" the enthusiastic woman said brightly. "Canderous Ordo sent me to pick up his new T3 droid."

"Oh, so you're the one he sent. You're in luck, I finished the final modifications he requested just this morning." She indicated her customer to follow. "It's over here."

There were two T3 units on display, the T3-M4 unit and a cheaper T3-M8 one. Xana crouched down beside the units and nearly squealed in joy. "It's beautiful. Look over here sis, this droid can do like… like almost everything!"

"That's wonderful," Bastila answered in a faraway voice.

"You're right," Janice said. "It's an exceptionally versatile droid. Equipped with advanced software and hardware to do almost any job you want. Hack terminals, pick locks, handle mines and explosives. It can even repair most of your equipment."

"I think I'm in love!" Xana grinned. She glanced over at the M8 unit and saw something out of the ordinary. She moved over to it to investigate. "Oh, look over here Miss Janice! This unit's processor is wrongly wired. Like this it'll quickly heat up when activated and possibly explode."

Janice moved over and also studied the droid. "You're completely right. Thanks for spotting that, very sharp!"

"No need for thanks, us nerds need to stick together!" the scoundrel said enthusiastically. "An exploding droid wouldn't be very good advertisement for your shop."

The proprietor laughed. "Not at all. I'll have to fix that before selling that unit."

"So what's the T3-M4 unit cost Miss Janice?"

"It's 2000 credits. For that money it's completely patched and ready for duty."

Xana's face fell. "Canderous only gave me 1000 credits. Said that's what it would cost."

Bastila sighed. "Oh Greta, I told you that guy would only try to take advantage of you."

"He doesn't!" the scoundrel said hotly. "He really loves me."

The Jedi rolled her eyes and looked desperately at the Twi'lek. "She has this thing for falling for the wrong guys."

"Have not! Maybe he just made a mistake, I'll just pay the other 1000 credits in advance, he'll pay them back."

"You're so darn gullible Greta," Bastila said with a sigh. "You're never going to see that money again. In fact, he'll probably just vanish after you give him the droid."

"He's nothing like that!"

"Look, maybe I can be of help here," Janice interrupted with a kind smile. "You've really helped me out with that M8-unit and you're a nice woman. I'm willing to sell the droid for just 1000 credits, if you promise to make a bit of advertisement for my shop. And make all your droid related purchases here in the future."

"Awesome!" Xana cheered. She grabbed the woman in a brief hug. "You're the best Miss Janice. I'll tell all my friends about your shop and you'll definitely see me here in the future."

* * *

When the duo walked out of the shop with their freshly purchased utility droid Bastila turned to Xana. "Never do that again. It's downright scary."

The scoundrel cocked an eyebrow. "What is?"

"Seeing you as a socially impaired and sickeningly enthusiastic nerd."

Xana laughed. "What can I say? I just love droids."

"Don't say that. Realizing that half of it wasn't even played makes it all the more creepy."

"Fine, I'll change back to the tough-as-nails marine. Let's crack the skulls of some cock sucking Sith soldiers and retrieve those fucking launch codes so we can leave this godforsaken planet."

Bastila smacked her on the head. "Language woman. We're in the adult world, not at the schoolyard."

"Nature of the beast," Xana shrugged with a mischievous grin.

"It's going down on the list of things we're going to work out of your system," the Jedi said briskly.

The scoundrel sighed. Knowing the Jedi Knight that list could never be a short one.


	13. The Sith Base

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Sith Base**

* * *

Carth was having an incredibly bad morning. He was locked up in the apartment with Mission, the only one in their group he had a slight dislike for. Despite being an obvious child she tried so hard to act grown-up. And she wasted no time to annoy him. He had _tried_ to like her, he really had. He had even gone through the trouble of getting some light conversation going, but all he got in return were either short answers or sneers. After realizing this would get him nowhere he gave up.

While Mission had been furiously working on her datapad – something about tunneling protocol mumble jumble – he started cleaning his blasters once again. It was his favorite pastime and allowed him to collect his thoughts. This morning's revelation that Grey was Force sensitive and bonded to Bastila had come as quite a shock. It put the woman's achievements into new perspective; what if she had subconsciously tapped into the Force during her successes? Not only that, but why would a pirate be sensitive to the Force? It all made little sense in his mind.

And why was she Bonded to Bastila Shan, the war hero he so deeply admired? Every battle where her Battle Meditation had been present had ended in a victory for the Republic. He was incredibly grateful for her skill, and deeply in her debt, certainly after she had ended Revan's reign. But why was this Jedi amongst Jedi now Force bonded to a freebooter and a scoundrel? He knew very little about Force Bonds, but he _did_ know they didn't develop just like that. It was all very suspicious.

His thoughts were interrupted when the apartment door finally opened. When the trio entered Mission immediately lost her gloom and grinned widely. Grey gave him a short nod, but she turned to the young Twi'lek with an enthusiastic smile. "Blue, check out this piece of hardware we've just bought." It was only then that Carth noticed the utility droid that had accompanied them.

The droid revealed a side of the lieutenant that Carth hadn't seen before. Her green eyes were sparkling like mad and she was grinning like a small child. The Twi'lek also seemed absolutely ecstatic, revealing a shared interest. They wasted no time to crouch down beside the droid and were soon animatedly talking and pointing, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

He turned to Bastila, who shook her head and looked almost exasperated. "What's with that droid?" he inquired. He couldn't help but add: "And what's with Grey?"

"I believe she has found a new love." Carth couldn't help but notice a hopeful tone in her voice. "We bought the droid because it's a part of the Mandalorian's plan." She quickly explained the proposed plan to the flight commander.

"Do you really think it's wise to sneak into a Sith military base?" he asked the Jedi when she was done. "I mean, it doesn't matter much if one of us gets captured, but you… You're one of the reasons this war isn't yet lost. If they turn you to their side it's pretty much over for the Republic."

His compliment caused a smug smile on the Jedi's face. "I'm afraid it's the only plan we've got. To get past the planet's defense system we need those codes and…" Bastila's eye suddenly fell on Grey. "What are you doing with that screwdriver?" she barked.

Grey and Mission were still crouched beside the droid, but the Lieutenant had gathered some tools around her and was obviously planning to open the little tin can up. The scoundrel was shocked up by the Jedi's loud words. "Teaching Blue the basics of droid mechanics," she answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"And just how much time do you thing we have for that?" the Jedi demanded.

Grey shrugged. "I don't know, isn't that stuff for the commander to worry about?" The tone surprised Carth a bit, but then he realized these two must have a bit of a power struggle going on. He had to smile, he should've known Grey wouldn't give up command just like that, even if Bastila was superior to her in so many ways.

If Bastila was offended she didn't show it. "Get over here so we can come up with a plan."

The scoundrel turned to the Twi'lek. "Sorry Blue, it'll have to wait for another time." Mission pouted, but she didn't dare express her resentment in the presence of the Jedi Knight.

Grey got to her feet and approached Bastila and Carth. She folded her arms and waited curiously for what Bastila had to say. "Right, now that you have finally found the time to join us, we need to come up with a solid plan to infiltrate the base." The Jedi looked at Grey with a questioning look, clearly expecting the scoundrel to have come up with a plan already. Just like Carth she already started to rely on the lieutenant's wits. Grey merely returned the look stoically, causing Bastila to raise an eyebrow. "You _do_ have a plan, don't you?"

The scoundrel looked almost offended. "Knight Shan, _please_. I've had ages to mull it over." She continued her silent stare at the Jedi.

"_So_?" Though she managed to hide it well she was clearly getting impatient. "Tell us already."

"Only if you ask it nicely and say 'please'."

The request was so out of the blue, yet spoken with such seriousness that Carth's mouth fell open. He noticed the Jedi struggling with herself as well. "What childish nonsense is this?" she managed. Her silver eyes flared dangerously.

Grey faltered slightly when seeing those eyes, but she didn't back down. "It's not nonsense at all. You know I have trouble submitting to a superior and although I'm trying my best to obey you, you still make this very hard for me, be it unintentionally or on purpose. Yes, you are far my superior in both rank and training, I'm the first to admit that. But that doesn't mean you can command me like a dog. I'm still a human being and I prefer being treated as such."

Carth had to laugh internally. Bastila had gotten a bit of an arrogant flair after being praised all her life. She had probably come to expect absolute obedience, no questions asked. For the first time that authority was challenged. The Jedi's nose shot in the air for a moment, but then realization seemed to hit her. She looked a bit embarrassed, but masked it with a resigned sigh. "Fine. Xana, will you _please_ tell us your plan?"

The scoundrel nodded with a satisfied smile. "Certainly Knight Shan. Here's what I'm proposing..."

* * *

After Grey had explained her plan – which they all agreed was a sound one – the group started their preparations. Carth took the lieutenant apart for a moment. Despite his reservations he had become a bit attached to the woman and wanted to make sure she was doing alright. "You seem to be rather sober about all the stuff that we've learned this morning. I mean, finding out you're bonded to a famous war hero must be life changing business."

"I know." Grey stared at the Jedi Knight and smiled absentmindedly. "But I believe it's a change for the best."

Carth also looked at Bastila. He had to agree she was a beautiful woman, but he shook his head. "Didn't she reject you quite harshly?"

The lieutenant looked back to him and laughed. "I didn't mean it sexually, you idiot. Remember what I said about having a goal, finding a purpose? For once I don't have to worry about that. Becoming a pirate again suddenly seems a lot less attractive. I trust Knight Shan. I'm going to follow her to the Jedi Council and see what they have to say. No matter what that is, together we will come up with a purpose for my life, together as bondmates. She may treat me poorly, but I know she cares for me. It has taken a heavy burden of my shoulders."

Carth smiled a bit. "I didn't realize that you respect her that much, if you're willing to lay your entire future in her hands. But in retrospect, there were things that gave it away." Grey cocked an eyebrow. "You continue to call her Knight Shan," he elaborated. "And you're allowing her to call you by your first name. Knowing you that's quite a privilege."

"I… I have? You mean she's calling me Xana?" Grey's green eyes grew and she looked almost shocked.

"Err… she is. You mean you hadn't noticed?"

"Of course I haven't!" She looked both offended and embarrassed. "I'm not her bloody puppy, how the fuck did this happen?"

Carth shrugged, but with an amused smile. "I don't know, now do I?"

"That woman," Xana growled lowly. "That _bloody_ woman!"

At that moment Bastila called from the other side of the room. "Xana, stop wasting your time and come help me over here." She had the sense of mind to add: "Please?"

The lieutenant's anger vanished instantly when she looked over to the Jedi. "Certainly Knight Shan, right away!" She strolled off to help the Jedi and left behind an utterly confused Carth. There were only a few certainties in his life. One of them was that he'd never understand women.

* * *

Hannah was sitting at her desk in the entrance hall of the Sith base. She had taken the job as receptionist after the Sith had closed the office she previously worked at. Working with gruff Sith soldiers was far from enjoyable, but at least it was a well-paid job, certainly in these bad times.

As she was working on her console the front door opened and a female Sith soldier stepped in. She had an unknown woman in her custody. The woman was cuffed and even wearing a neural disruptor, meaning she was a high-risk prisoner. "'sup pretty lady, always a pleasure seeing you." Hannah rolled her eyes. So now even the female soldiers were hitting on her.

"Might want to call the gov'ner, I've caught a Jedi Knight." The receptionist's eyes widened and she wanted to call in reinforcements, but the Sith stopped her. "Don't do that please. She's completely restrained, both physically and mentally." She briefly pointed at the neural disruptor, before bending over in a conspiratorial way. "Besides, she's _my_ catch. Don't want anyone else running off with the glory."

Hannah nodded once and decided not to anger the soldier. As a rule of thumb it was best not to piss off anyone in here. She pressed a button on her in-ear communicator and soon had a connection with the Governor himself. "Governor? Sorry to interrupt your meditations, but there's a soldier at the desk that has caught that Jedi Knight."

"_Indeed? That's excellent news. Make sure she is properly restrained and taken to the prison block."_

"Yes sir, right away sir." She disconnected the call and looked back to the soldier. "You are to take her to the prison block right away." She noticed the Jedi muttering something and staring at her intently. The silver eyes confused her for a moment, but when the Jedi's eyes drooped close she quickly managed to regain her composure. "Like I said, take her to the Governor's office right away, I'm clearing the way for you."

* * *

Ralph was silently scolding himself for cursing that officer who had skipped the line in the mess. Now he was stuck on elevator duty. It was possibly the dullest job at the base, no one would ever be able to infiltrate this far into the base. And even if they would, the elevator was guarded by a few turrets and the most advanced defense droid on the planet. At least, he thought it was. The thing looked rather menacing and was surrounded by a shimmering Force field.

He was bored out of his mind. The elevator led to the Governor's office, meaning hardly anyone came by here. He was quietly dozing off against the wall when he suddenly received a call from the reception. "A soldier is on her way. She has an important prisoner that the Governor wants to see immediately. Please let them through without delay."

It was a strange request, as standard protocol demanded that any prisoner was to be detained inside the prison block. But Ralph was on sharp already, his job couldn't bear another fuck-up, certainly not by disobeying a direct order from the Governor himself. So when the soldier and her prisoner arrived he silently called up the elevator to let them into the big boss's office.

* * *

The Governor had been brutally taken out of his meditations, but for once he didn't mind. Under the roof of his own base was Bastila Shan, the highly sought-after Jedi Knight. He briefly glanced at the lightsaber on his desk and smirked. The object had been recovered from one of the Republic escape pods that had crashed down on his planet. A frantic search for the owner had begun, which had intensified when word got out about the identity of said owner. For days the woman had remained elusive, until now.

Now this famous Jedi Knight was his. He licked his lips. If he was the one to deliver the woman to Lord Malak he certainly would have earned the right to carry his own lightsaber. He'd move up a step in the food chain and possibly be able to leave this rotten planet.

He was surprised when the doors behind him opened, he hadn't called anyone up. To his astonishment none other than the Jedi Knight entered, accompanied by a soldier. "What is the meaning of this?" he asked darkly. "She had to be taken to the prison block." He noticed the cuffs and neural disruptor and felt somewhat at ease. At least that idiotic grunt hadn't brought a battle-ready Jedi Knight into his office.

"Sorry, gov'ner," the female soldier said without sounding sorry at all. "Must've taken a wrong turn somewhere."

The Governor touched the Force and felt it rippling. His heart skipped a beat when he realized both women were Force sensitive and neither carried a trace of the Dark Side. "Who are you?" he asked the Sith soldier. "Just who the _fuck_ are you?" Panic clasped his throat when he felt the supposed soldier being even more powerful in the Force than the prisoner. Had he been more experienced he would've noticed that the soldier was completely untrained, even less than a neophyte.

The soldier drew her vibrosaber. "I'm just a sad fuck that's going to end your misery." Like a coiled viper she sprung toward him. He dashed out of the way and grabbed his double-bladed vibrosword from the rack. Just in time he parried her blade, while letting the other blade sail towards her arm in a Force-sped motion. The second blade caught her by surprise and managed to gash a deep cut in her arm. She backed away from him while clasping her wounded arm and cursed.

He grinned triumphantly, this injured woman wouldn't stand a chance against him anymore. Suddenly the sound of an activating lightsaber reached his ears. The sight that greeted with made his heart drop. "Foolish girl," the not so restrained Jedi Knight scolded the other woman, while swirling her yellow lightsaber around. "This man is training to become a Sith Lord, you can't compare him to the pitiful grunts you've faced in the arena."

"Could've done with that warning a bit earlier," the certainly not Sith soldier snarled. "Damn, that fucker has cut a muscle."

The Jedi looked him in the eyes. His felt his soul being penetrated by those grey orbs. "I'll use the Force to heal it, _after_ I've dealt with this guy and reminded you about watching your tongue." She took a determined step towards him and he felt all blood draining from his face. This was a trained Jedi Knight and a famous war veteran. He got into his battle stance for what he knew was going to be the last fight of his life.

* * *

Ralph was having a very bad feeling. Strange things were happening around him. First he had let that prisoner inside the Governor's office and now the droid and turrets around him had deactivated all of a sudden. The first thing he thought about was a power failure, but that was not possible. The base had a backup aggregate to power all defenses in case of an emergency, not to mention the lights were still on.

He was shocked out of his wits when the alarm started wailing. A voice crackled through the intercom. _*Attention all personnel, there has been a security breach. The west wing has been compromised. All personnel defend the west wing, repeat, all personnel defend the west wing.*_

This was beyond strange, this was definitely not standard procedure. Despite his doubts he grabbed his weapon tight and started running towards the west wing. Disobeying a command in an emergency situation was simply not done, as was taught harshly during their training. On his way there he was joined by many soldiers, all abandoning their posts and following the orders from the intercom.

When he reached the main hall that connected the west wing with the east and south wings he found out that it was completely abandoned. Every soldier had gone to defend the west wing. Seeing the base undefended got him very anxious. His suspicion got the better of him and he carefully opened the door into the south wing that housed the entrance. The last thing he saw was a Wookie aiming a massive bowcaster at him.

* * *

"Blue, that was absolutely awesome!" Xana grinned, while sitting on the bed inside the abandoned apartment with the launch codes safely tucked away in her inner pocket. "That alarm was absolutely convincing, how the hell did you manage that?"

The Twi'lek looked extremely proud and happy with the compliment. "A bit of me and a bit of Mister Gears," she said with a nod at T3-M4. "After sneaking in and finding a security terminal he got rid of its firewalls like it was nothing. Full access to the security system. My little voice generating program took care of the rest."

"You're a very valuable asset to the team, Mission," Bastila said with an approving smile. "The blueprints you had stolen were very valuable for our preparations, but that diversion was absolutely terrific. Without it I doubt we would've gotten out alive." Her silver eyes fell on Xana and radiated disapproval. "Certainly with your boss getting her arm cut up." The scoundrel looked away in embarrassment.

"Thank you Lady Knight Shan," the small thief said timidly. She was clearly glad being praised by the Jedi Knight, but also scared and perhaps a bit angry at her for constantly scolding her boss.

Bastila turned to Zaalbar and Carth. "You two also did an excellent job."

Zaalbar did his best to mutter his thanks, but the pilot merely raised his hands. "We had the easiest job, cleaning up the trash. All praise goes to Mission this time." The Twi'lek looked surprised, but then she gave him a grateful smile. "And if Grey hadn't kept that Sith uniform and the neural disruptor it wouldn't have been this easy," he finished. Bastila nodded in agreement, but didn't praise the scoundrel.

Mission turned to her boss. "Are you alright Grey? Your arm…" Grey was still clasping her injured arm. After finding the launch codes they hadn't had enough time to heal it with the Force, because Mission had already activated the alarm. Walking through enemy territory with a useless arm had made Xana feel extremely vulnerable, but she was guarded by Bastila. The presence of the Jedi Knight had made her feel safe and secure.

"I'm alright. I consider the pain punishment for my stupid action." Xana grimaced, but thinking back on it made her smile brightly. "You should've seen Knight Shan fight Blue. I've never seen a real Jedi Knight before, it was beyond anything you can imagine. An elaborate dance, without a single redundant motion, every strike landing exactly where intended. I don't know what's more beautiful to behold, Knight Shan herself or her fighting."

"Do you still want me to heal your arm?" Bastila asked darkly.

The threat made her yelp. "Yes please! A thousand times sorry for my jest, Knight Shan."

The Jedi's dark look intensified. "What, you were joking about my beauty? Are you implying I'm ugly?"

Xana shrunk under the gaze. "Not at all! I meant to say that I'm sorry for giving you the impression I was flirting with you, not that…" She stopped midsentence when she saw the Jedi's face break into a tiny smile. Her mouth dropped open in amazement. "You were joking?" she asked in disbelieve. "You mean to say you actually made a _joke_?"

The brunette folded her arms. "You seem awfully surprised by that. I feel offended."

"S…sorry ma'am! I didn't mean to…" She saw the amused twinkle in the grey eyes and grinned sheepishly. "Damn, got me twice."

"You are too easy," she chuckled. "Anyway, let's get you out of that uniform and check your wound. Carth, please fetch me some disinfectant and cloth." Bastila helped Xana out of her uniform, which was a bit of a struggle. Once she was shed of her metal plating she sat down on the bed in her underwear.

Carth brought the requested items and moved to another part of the room to give them some privacy. Mission and Zaalbar did the same. The Jedi kneeled beside Xana and studied the wound with knitted eyebrows. It was easy to read the concern in her face. "Are you worried about me, ma'am?"

It wasn't hard to miss the surprise in the scoundrel's voice and Bastila cocked an eyebrow. "What are you asking? Of course I am. Not only am I responsible for you as your commanding officer, you're also my… bondmate, as you so aptly described our unconventional relationship. Either way your health is my concern."

"Thanks," Xana muttered sheepishly. "Thanks for taking care of me, even though it was my own stupid mistake for being so rash."

"You're not the first person to make a mistake. Neither will you be the last." Bastila drenched a clean cloth in disinfectant. "Now sit still while I clean the wound."

The Jedi worked diligently on the cut. The disinfectant stung like a bitch, but Bastila had a surprising gentle touch. She tried her best to cause the scoundrel as less pain as possible, even though she had deserved the pain. She might seem like an ice queen at times, but right now Bastila was a caring individual.

"You're in luck, it's a clean cut. No splinters of metal have stuck into it." She looked into Xana's green eyes. "I'm going to heal you using the Force. Beware, it's a painful sensation." Her face softened into a reassuring smile. "But it'll be over in a flash."

The Jedi hovered a hand over the wound and started to gather energy around it. Suddenly the fibers started to twitch and _change_, and an incredible pain overwhelmed her. She gritted her teeth, but couldn't suppress a low groan. _Hold on, almost done._ Xana heard Bastila speaking soothing words in her mind and it indeed calmed her down. Suddenly the painful sensation stopped. The scoundrel looked down to her arm and saw that it was cleanly healed, not even a scar. All power had returned to it as well.

"Thanks a lot, ma'am," she thanked her boss gratefully, as she was testing her arm.

"You're welcome Xana." Bastila gave her a small smile. "You coped with the pain excellently." She half glared to Carth. "I've seen many men faint from lesser pain."

"It was partly thanks to you entering my brain." Xana studied the Jedi curiously. "Does this Bond allow us to communicate using telepathy?"

"No, it doesn't work like that. Not when the mind is fully awake, at least. At the swoop race I managed to communicate with your mind while you were asleep. And just now you nearly fainted, allowing me to reach your subconscious. The details of its mechanics are unknown to me, it's a thing we'll have to further investigate. It might be useful to us."

The lieutenant smiled. "You just said _we_ and _us_."

Bastila understood what the scoundrel meant. "We're bonded together by a from what I can gather exceptionally strong Force Bond. It doesn't require the knowledge of a Master to realize it would be best if the two of us remained together." It was both a statement and a question.

"If that's an invitation I gladly accept it."

The Jedi Knight looked relieved. "I'm glad that you're willing to follow me out of free will."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Xana asked feeling offended. "Would you otherwise force me to come with you?"

"Wouldn't you do the same if I were to abandon you?" the Jedi asked sharply.

The answer was such a blatantly obvious 'yes' that Xana hung her head in shame. "Sorry ma'am. I was too quick with my judgment."

"It's alright. I'm just glad this thing is consensual for now." Bastila grabbed Xana's shoulder and squeezed it slightly. For a moment they looked each other in the eye and there was understanding between them. Whether they liked it or not, one couldn't go without the other anymore. They could either try to fight it, or try to make the best of it. Both of them were willing to do the latter. They gave each other a nod, after which Bastila got to her feet. "Get suited up. It's time to steal a spaceship."

* * *

On the bridge of the Leviathan Malak was clenching his fists around the terminal in front of him. There was so much anger flowing through him, he could feel it tingle through his entire body. It was a sensation that was very familiar to him, he couldn't remember the day when he had last felt at peace. Not that he ever bothered trying to answer that question, not since he had killed his former master.

Speaking about masters, his useless apprentice approached him. The lack of a certain Jedi Knight was the source of his anger. "My lord, Bastila Shan remains elusive. I have not been able to track her down in the urban jungle, for which I offer my sincerest apologies."

Bandon's smooth talk and small smile bothered Malak. "You're awfully quick with your apologies. I take it you've made every effort to try and recover this woman?"

"I certainly have my lord, but I'm afraid it was an impossible task to begin with. Six billion people packed together into a city simply emit too much noise to be able to track down a single individual."

"Do I have to remind you how valuable this woman is to achieve our goals?" Malak snarled.

"Certainly not my Lord. After the downfall of Meetra Surik she's the galaxy's last master of Battle Meditation. We've lost every single battle where the Jedi Order used this woman against us. She's a burden and a nuisance, but turning her to our side would almost immediately end this war in our advantage."

"Don't say the name of that woman in front of me ever again," the Dark Lord growled. "There wouldn't even _be_ a war if Surik was still amongst our ranks." For a moment he breathed heavily and tightly grasped the console, but he managed to regain his composure. "Have your apprentices at least been successful?"

"Yes my Lord, they have gathered seven prospects. They are on route to Korriban as we speak to receive training at the academy."

"I hope for your sake that they deliver. You are dismissed." He didn't even grant his apprentice a final look when he walked out of the bridge. Instead he pressed the button of the intercom. "Send in Haroph and Karath."

The requested duo entered a little while later. "Advisor Haroph, your report on the withdrawal of our equipment from Taris?"

"The process is slow, my lord," the Advisor answered in a baritone voice. Haroph was an obese human with a large, brown mustache. Despite his jovial appearance he was a cruel individual. He had been Minister of Communications of Taris, but that was just a fancy title. What he truly did was propaganda and indoctrination.

His ability to wade through the political landscape had proved invaluable to Malak. He was smart and cunning and easy to please. He fell for the easy temptations of good food, exquisite wine and exotic women. "The nature of the surface makes it hard to gather all equipment for shipment off planet," the Advisor continued. "We've only been able to retrieve approximately thirty percent."

"I understand." The numbers meant little to Malak, he'd use the Star Forge to make up for it. "Admiral Karath, I want you to start bombing the surface of Taris immediately."

Both the Admiral and the Advisor gasped. "My lord… you wish to annihilate another planet?" Karath had paled considerably around the nose.

"Telos IV should've given you plenty of experience with the act. I hope the process will be more efficient this time."

"My lord, Taris is a planet of great value," Haroph objected. "It is a trade hub without equal, without it we…"

"Taris is a dead shell to me already," Malak interrupted coldly. "I have called you here to receive orders, not to question them."

"Taking the fleet into position will take several hours, Lord Malak." Karath had regained his composure, although his eyes nervously darted to the surface down below.

"Then I suggest you start right away."


	14. An Illegal Exchange

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**An Illegal Exchange**

* * *

Bastila was cramped in the back of a small shuttle together with Xana. The Mandalorian was flying the vehicle to bring them to the mansion of Davik Kang, where they would hopefully steal a ship fast enough to escape the planet. The two women were sitting face-to-face, which gave the Jedi Knight a good opportunity to study her lieutenant.

Seeing Xana Grey was in some ways eerie. She was a carbon copy of the Dark Lord that she had met briefly on the Sith's flagship. This woman had the same sense of morals and the same passion as Revan. She was aware of the world around her and knew exactly how to influence it to achieve her goals. Like no other she understood that sometimes things needed to be left alone, while at other times interference was necessary to ensure a correct development. She was neither a saint nor a devil. At times she could be selfish and take what she wanted, but there was also an urge to change the galaxy into something better.

And then there was the confidence. Even now Xana looked completely relaxed, seemingly unaffected by the fact that they would soon try to steal the ship of a powerful crime lord of the galaxy's most powerful criminal organization. While Bastila was admittedly starting to feel nervous Xana showed absolutely no signs of it. Just like Revan she focused on the goals she had set to herself and decided to achieve them. Not try or do her best… no, just _achieve_ them. The sheer confidence was refreshing and even affected Bastila. She had the feeling that as long as she was with Xana everything would work out.

Yes, there was no doubt that Revan and Xana were one and the same. Perhaps the only difference was Xana's fresh look on the world, whereas Revan had been weighed down by a troubled past, filled with numerous difficult decisions.

Xana had seen the Jedi studying her and grinned at her. Even that mischievous glint in her beautiful green eyes whenever she looked at her was the same as Revan's. "Like what you see, Knight Shan?"

"That totally depends on what you're referring to." She hadn't quite known how to deal with Revan's advances, but dealing with Xana's sometimes outrageous flirts was even worse. Because she was a Jedi Knight – and a well-respected one at that – no one had ever bothered flirting with her. She was completely new to it and had a hard time keeping her composure. Sometimes Xana almost managed to reduce her to a mumbling idiot, making her feel inexperienced and juvenile.

"I think you know exactly what I'm referring to," Xana answered with a wide gesture at her own body.

Again those sparkling green eyes sent a shiver down Bastila's spine, but she managed to keep her composure this time. She wouldn't allow this grunt to get her down. "You're asking if you're a handsome woman? That seems like a rhetorical question to me, as we both know the answer."

The infuriating woman just didn't give up. She shook her head. "I'm not asking about the general classifications of my appearance. I'm asking if _you_ like it."

"And what good would that information do you? As far as I can see it's completely irrelevant."

Xana shrugged. "If it's so irrelevant why can't you just tell me? I mean, you already know that I think you're the most attractive woman I've ever seen in my life." Bastila blushed from the compliment. "See? It's nice to hear such compliments, even though it's completely irrelevant."

The Jedi snapped. "Fine! You want to know if I'm attracted to women? You want to know if I'm attracted to _you_? The answer to both questions is yes. Enjoy tormenting yourself with that useless information, because there's no way I'll ever respond to those feelings." Judging on the way Xana's eyes heated up she had only put oil on the fire, making her regret her words immediately. Darn that infuriating woman and her unrelenting attacks.

"See? Admitting that wasn't so hard, was it?" Bastila just glared at her, causing Xana to flinch. At least her eyes still had the desired effect on her annoying bondmate. "So hostile," Xana muttered almost sadly, before silently staring out of the window again.

* * *

Kang's estate was located at the very top of a large skyscraper, overlooking the endless city beneath. Not only the location was topnotch, the massive mansion was also luxuriously decorated and expensively furnished. As Xana walked those halls she looked around with a mixture of disgust and awe. The marble, thick carpets and classy paintings were a tad too much to her liking, but she did realize this was where the true money was. It looked more like it belonged to a noble than to a crime lord. If she still had any doubt that the Exchange was truly powerful, that doubt was now gone.

In the enormous living area they were introduced to the man himself. Davik Kang was a human man in his early sixties wearing a grey suit with perfect cut. Xana could easily see why the Exchange had chosen him as their local leader on Taris. He was a man that looked like he could stand his own, a man that made you think twice before crossing him.

Kang was accompanied by two men, one of which Xana recognized as Calo Nord, the short bounty hunter. The other guy she didn't know. "Ah, so _you_ are the promising new mercenary I've been hearing so much about," the crime lord greeted. He studied her from top to bottom. "Arena champion, swoop race champion, vanquisher of Brejik… where does the list stop?"

Xana smirked confidently. "Currently at the assassination of Lord Malak, haven't quite come around to that one yet."

The crime lord barked a laugh. "Canderous hasn't said a word too much, your confidence leaves nothing to be desired." He looked at Bastila curiously. "Who's the spare?"

"Just my slave," the scoundrel said, without even granting a glance at the Jedi Knight. They had already agreed on this story in advance. "Done a bit of slaving back on Nar Shaddaa. Couldn't help but keep this little candy to myself."

Kang studied the supposed slave and a small smile curled around his lips. "A connoisseur I see. You must be someone who enjoys the finer things in life."

Xana made a wide gesture at the exorbitantly luxurious mansion and allowed herself a small smile. "Don't we all?"

The crime lord laughed again and smacked her amiably on the shoulder. "Self-assured and a tad audacious. I like you." He grabbed her around the shoulders and walked her to the window. It gave them a panoramic view of the city of Taris. "This city. God damn, this city right here… I love it. Lived here all my life. Started as a lowlife thug in the Lower City. Was a gangster, a bounty hunter, a mercenary… took every shitty job I could get my hands on."

"We all start on the lowest step of the criminal ladder," Xana mused. Kang still had his arm wrapped around her shoulders like she was his daughter, but she managed to swallow her disgust.

"Damn right we do. But what sets the thugs aside from the leaders is vision. I was a visionary, I saw the true potential of this forsaken planet. Back in the day I was the first to start organizing crime around these parts. Successfully too, it didn't take long for the Exchange to notice me. With their help I expanded my criminal network over the entire globe. No matter where you go in this city, I own it."

"An all-encompassing network of organized crime," the scoundrel smirked. "The Sith can't like that."

"The Sith Empire and the Exchange have come to a very satisfying agreement," Kang answered. His face turned troubled and he was lost in thought for a moment, giving Xana time to ponder his statement. She had never heard of the Sith working together with the Exchange. Then again, what _did_ she know about the illusive Exchange? Hardly anything. "At least, under Revan it was still satisfying," the crime lord continued. "With Malak behind the wheel things are quickly turning bad. It gives to think how much longer this situation will hold."

He saw her face scrunched up in thought and sighed. "Ah, but that's none of your concern." He finally let go of her shoulder and moved to the sitting area. He sat down on a comfortable couch and indicated her to take a seat in the couch in front of him. Nord and the unknown man went to stand behind Kang, while Bastila and Ordo stood behind the scoundrel.

"Tell me a bit about you," he asked when they were sitting face-to-face. "You pop up out of nowhere, defeat Twitch in the arena, win the most important swoop tournament, kill a gang leader and then knock on my door, asking if you can join the Exchange's upper echelons." He picked up an expensive bottle of whiskey that had been standing on the table and filled two glasses with the brown liquid. He handed Xana one of them and sat back in the couch. He took a sip from his drink and studied the woman with keen interest. "What's up with that?"

The scoundrel also took a sip and enjoyed the flavor of the expensive liquid for a moment, giving her time to think of her answer. "I have been a smalltime criminal up to this point. Mostly minor offenses, burglary, extortion, bounty hunting…" Her eye skimmed over Bastila for a second, who was standing submissively behind her. "…slaving. Don't get me wrong, the money and rewards were more than good. I've been living a very comfortable life up to this point."

She sighed deeply and took another sip of the whiskey. "But one day I thought to myself: is this everything? I had always taken care of my body and my mind, trained myself into a carefully honed weapon. But what is the point of all that brain and all that muscle if you waste it on mindless jobs that any thug could take? And then I realized continuing this life would waste me away, destroy me from the inside. It was time for a new challenge."

She gave Kang a meaningful look. "The Exchange is such a challenge worthy of my skill. I believe your organization has jobs for me that will push me to my full potential. And your organization will greatly benefit from having me as well, and that's not overconfidence. The victory in the arena? The victory in the swoop race? Killing Brejik? All done to get the Exchange to notice me, nothing more."

Kang laughed. "It certainly worked." They finished their glasses and Kang poured them another one. When he sat back with glass in hand he gave her a serious look. "You seem ambitious. Where do you see yourself within five years inside this organization?"

"As your established and respected right-hand." She smiled and added a pinch of mischief to that smile. "Ready to take over control when you go on a carefree and well-earned retirement."

For a moment Kang studied her in surprise and Xana worried she had gone a step too far. Suddenly he burst out in amused laughter. "You _are_ self-assured and ambitious, my god. And you got the brains too, I'm impressed. Hard to find that in a good-looking woman."

"Sir, if I may," the unknown man behind him interrupted. He had been shifting on his feet for a while, shooting angry glances at Xana constantly. "Don't you think this woman is overambitious? I mean, she makes no secret of her plans, becoming the new Exchange leader of Taris. Do you truly think it's wise to invite such a woman into our ranks?"

Kang briefly glanced at his mercenary, then looked back to Xana. "Holdan makes a fair point. Why should we trust you?"

Hearing that name triggered something in the Lieutenant's mind. Holdan, one of Kang's top dogs. This could be no coincidence. "Are you the man that tried to rape Dia?" she asked in a low tone, ignoring Kang's question for a moment.

Holdan looked shocked. "How the hell…?"

"You _are_, aren't you? But the girl didn't like getting abused, didn't she? The little girl bit back, slashing open your face."

"I thought you got that scar from a group of Black Vulkars that overwhelmed you?" Ordo asked, looking absolutely disgusted.

"Oh no," the scoundrel said darkly. "He got it from a tiny woman he failed to rape. To save his face he put a bounty on her head, didn't even dare dealing with her himself."

"Is this true, Holdan?" Kang asked, looking extremely disapproving. Even the stoic Nord looked at Holdan with a look of contempt.

"That filthy dyke is lying," he spat. "I don't know what kind of conspiracy this is to besmirch my good name, but I won't have it. If I had wanted to rape this… Dia or whatever, I certainly wouldn't have been scared away."

"Care to prove that statement?" the lieutenant asked with a challenging look, while stroking the hilt of her blade.

Holdan looked a bit uncertain, but he didn't back down, eager to safe his face. "You bet I will. I can defeat lesbian filth in a dual any day."

"That's an excellent idea," Kang said with an approving nod. "It gives us a chance to see Saber's skill for ourselves. My hangar has enough space for you two children to do your worst."

"If you lose you will lift that bounty from Dia's head," Xana demanded. The little snake angered her. He was the worst type of villain, the one who preyed on the weak and hid behind the back of superiors when things started to go bad for him. It was time to teach the little bastard a lesson.

"I don't know what bounty you're talking about," Holdan growled. "And I certainly won't lose."

* * *

She hated to admit it, but Holdan hadn't gotten his position of Kang's top dog by slithering and smooth talking alone; the mercenary was genuinely skilled with the vibrosword. Not only were his hits accurate and moderately fast, they also packed quite a punch. She had to strain herself when parrying his blows and his solid defense gave her little opportunity for countering.

The two of them were locked in their deadly dance inside the massive hangar. To Xana's left were her spectators: Ordo, Bastila, Kang and Nord. To her right stood the massive _Ebon Hawk_. It didn't look like much – in fact it was perhaps the ugliest ship she had ever seen – but this was one of the fastest and most advanced smuggling freighters in the galaxy. The Exchange had both the connections and the credits to get their hands on such a fine piece of technology, giving a glimpse on how dominant this organization truly was.

The steel of his blade passed her face by only inches, breaking her out of her thoughts. Her eyes grew wide from shock and Holdan laughed maliciously. "Look at you, all nicely dressed up, but hardly able to see a blade coming. You're nothing but a poser." He had continued to mock her throughout their fight and the scoundrel realized he was slowly getting to her. Her already immoderate amounts of anger were only fueled by his taunts

The scoundrel knew she had to keep her cool, but the anger kept eating away at her. She remembered Dia, the woman that Holdan had tried to rape. That woman had been emotionally and physically exhausted from constantly being forced to stay vigilant, always on the lookout for a possible bounty hunter. It consumed her, all thanks to the terrorization of this sad fuck. Xana wanted nothing more but to hurt this son of a bitch and end his pathetic life.

There was a pause in the melee and Holdan used it to taunt her once more: "You're just a worthless dyke, why don't you just kill yourself?"

_Why don't you just kill yourself?_

Her green eyes grew wide. The words echoed through her mind and touched a part that she had deeply buried away. A part that she was so ashamed about and at the same time so afraid of that she had never spoken about it to anyone.

"The galaxy would be better off without you."

… _kill yourself… worthless dyke … useless whore … _

The words kept repeating themselves and an internal dam broke, causing her mind to fade to black.

_***flash***__ heavy breathing __***flash***__ the cold, lonely cell __***flash***__ the taunting eyes __***flash***__ "you're going nowhere you cunt" __***flash***__ going nowhere __***flash***__ a small heap of pills, a bottle of alcohol __***flash***__ just do it __***flash***__ "you think you're all that, but in here you're nothing" __***flash***__ "what are you but a pleasant distraction for the guards?" __***flash***__ do it __***flash***__ "with you the galaxy loses nothing of value" __***flash***__ kill yourself __***flash***__ DO IT!_

_***flash***__ the scenery changed, Revan was standing in a dim spaceship __***flash***__ in front of her, Mandalore the Ultimate __***flash***__ "your culture means nothing to me, Mandalorian" __***flash***__ avenge her __***flash***__ "I am a Grey Jedi" __***flash***__ "an objective observer, a corrective blade" __***flash***__ "you have been weighed and found wanting" __***flash***__ you killed her you asshole __***flash***__ "you have condemned yourself and your race to death" __***flash***__ the mass shadow generator __***flash***__ do it __***flash***__ "I am here to pass judgment where the Council failed to do so" __***flash***__ DO IT!_

_Mandalore approached Revan, raising his sword and aiming it at her exposed throat. No time to parry, she was going to die. In an impulse the Grey Jedi tapped into the Force and became one with it. It coiled around the Mandalorian's throat and pressed it shut. He choked and dropped to the floor, dying only seconds after. Revan realized something was off; her connection to the Force wasn't as it should be. A searing pain shot through her brain and she fainted._

* * *

A major headache was pounding in Xana's brain when she woke up. She tried to get a sense of her surroundings and realized she was lying in a bed. Memories of the devastating flashback flooded her brain and she frantically tried to remember how she ended up here.

"You're awake," Bastila's voice came softly. Xana opened her eyes and found herself in a strange room. The knight was sitting on the edge of the comfortable bed and looked extremely worried.

"Knight Shan?" the scoundrel muttered. "What happened?"

"What can you remember?" The careful tone and worried face betrayed that something extremely bad had just happened and the scoundrel did her best not to panic.

"Holdan he… taunted me. Suddenly… darkness."

"What did you see?" Xana shook her head, but Bastila pressed on. "_Xana!_ What did you see?"

"I had flashbacks… horrible, horrible flashbacks. Then nothing. Nothing at all."

Bastila studied her intently. "You don't remember killing Holdan?"

"Kill Holdan?" The question confused her. "I _killed_ Holdan? No way! There's no way!" Panic threatened to take over, but Bastila placed a soothing hand on her forehead.

"Calm down and think," she said firmly. "You used the Force to choke him. Don't you remember that at all?"

"I did _what_?" Things started making less sense every second. "How is that even possible? I'm no Jedi! Knight Shan, what's going on here?" She wanted to get out of the bed, but Bastila pressed her firmly down.

"Relax. Everything will be okay, you're safe now. Take a few deep breaths."

Xana did as she was told and indeed calmed down. For almost a full minute she lay in the bed, still with Bastila's hand on her forehead. She tried to think rationally about Bastila's words. The brunette wouldn't lie to her about something like this, it was something much too awful to lie about. If she _did _choke Holdan using the Force there must be a very good reason for it. "How could this have happened?" she asked the knight.

"I have a theory," Bastila slowly said. "No more than a theory, really. The taunt caused a flashback of a traumatic moment in your life. You panicked and in your panic you reached out to me through the bond. Somehow you took the ability to Force choke from my mind and used it on your enemy."

"Could… could I really have done that?"

"I can't know for sure," she sighed. "I know very little about Force bonds. Remember it's just a theory, but it's the only thing I could think of right now."

Xana thought about it. It made sense, somewhat. They _were_ strongly connected to each other, maybe she really had ripped the skill from Bastila's head in her panic. But that train of thought led her to another problem. "Wait… you know how to use Force choke? Isn't that an ability of the dark side?"

The Knight looked alarmed. "I… must admit I have dabbled with such skills."

The confession amazed the scoundrel. "Doesn't that lead to the dark side?"

Bastila's eyebrows knitted up thoughtfully. "Not automatically. It surely is the general consensus that's propagated to protect the Jedi, but the truth isn't as black and white. I believe that the _purpose_ for which you use the Force is what will lead you to your downfall, not the type of abilities you derive from it. You'll only fall to the dark side if you're at least somewhat susceptive to it, be it from inherent malice or a weak mind that's prone to succumb to such temptations. I have neither, so I figured I could safely study it. Remember this is war, we should use everything at our disposal to achieve victory. The Sith are doing the same after all."

"But the Council thinks differently," Xana guessed.

"Yes," Bastila admitted. She looked at the scoundrel almost pleadingly. "I would appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone."

The lieutenant gave her a weak smile, her amusement temporarily pushed away her fear. "My, my… naughty Knight Shan. Playing with stuff she shouldn't."

"I mean it Xana!" Bastila looked downright terrified. "If this gets out I could get exiled, cut off from the Force, executed!"

"Hey relax," Xana said quickly. "I want to marry you, not attend your funeral." Xana saw Bastila's face going from shocked, to coy, to alarmed, to downright murderous in quick succession. She held up her hands to defend herself, afraid of the Jedi's wrath. "Just a joke, just a joke. I'm not going to sell you out to the Council, relax." Her face fell and she silently continued, "I think it's good you're willing to do what it takes to end this war. It shows you have an open mind, I like that."

"Good," Bastila said, looking relieved.

Xana got out of the bed, her headache had subsided. "So how did I end up here? Didn't Kang suspect anything and kill me right away?"

"It was a very confusing moment. Holdan just dropped dead and you were looking like you were having a seizure. I think Kang suspects something, but he wanted to hear your side of the story. The Mandalorian is talking to him right now."

"Shit, this is bad. We should get moving immediately." She wanted to head for the door, but Bastila stopped her by grabbing her by the shoulder.

Bastila turned her around and looked her in the eyes. There lay deep concern in her silver eyes. "Xana, that flashback. I think we need to discuss it."

Memories of that dark day flooded her mind, it was not something she'd like to discuss. Certainly not with the strong-willed Jedi Knight, who would certainly judge her for her weak character. She looked away evasively. "It's… nothing important."

The Jedi grabbed her chin and forced her to look back into the eyes. "I don't think attempted suicide is nothing important." It was no more than a whisper, but it tore down all Xana's internal defenses.

Her eyes grew wide in horror. "You… you know?"

Bastila nodded. "I have discussed your history with Rear Admiral Coleman. I know the true reason why your psychologist turned to him, the true reason why he took pity on you and the true reason why you were given a second chance with the lieutenant program."

A sickening mixture of anger, shame and fear boiled up in the scoundrel. She felt vulnerable, weak, useless… It felt like Bastila was attacking her for making that horribly wrong decision back then. In her exposed state she did the only thing she could think of to defend herself. She pushed the brunette away. "Oh, you discussed my history with Coleman. Very fucking dandy. Couldn't keep your nose out of other people's business, could you?"

The Knight suddenly looked uncertain. "Xana, informing myself about the history of my subordinates is standard proce…"

"Sure! Inform yourself about the shit your fucking _subordinates_ go through so you can rub it in their fucking faces when they don't lick your fucking boots when you tell them to!"

"Xana, that's not the reason I collect that information. I need to know what's going on with my people. What happened with Holdan proved just that. Having a breakdown like that could bring us all into danger and compromise the entire mission."

"Oh…" Xana's eyes had grown infinitely cold and this time it was Bastila who flinched from it, knowing her words had been less than tactful. "Oh, I'm sorry princess. I thought you were actually _worried_ for me here a second."

"Wait, no!" the Jedi pleaded. "I didn't mean to…"

"Should've known you only care about your own fair skin," the scoundrel continued mercilessly. "Should've known you only care about successfully completing the mission, eager to impress your bosses. Should've known the mighty war hero has no place for her useless _subordinates_ in her frozen heart."

"Xana, I'm so sorry." The Jedi looked absolutely distressed. "I _do_ care abou…"

"Forget it," Xana cut through her apology, she just didn't want to hear it. "I'm going to steal that fucking ship and get the fuck out of here." She turned to the door, only to see Ordo standing in it. "How much did you hear?" she demanded to know.

"Enough to know you're completely overreacting," he answered gruffly. "I don't know what the fuck has happened in your past, but it's enough to make you forget everything you've learned about good leadership in that lieutenant program of yours." He turned to scout out the hallway. "She has done exactly the right thing by analyzing your history for weak points. But if you want to reduce your lady friend to a blubbering mess by flaming her down to the ground for some badly worded phrases be my guest… I'm just here to warn you that Davik is less than happy with your little show against Holdan. He has decided to have you killed."

His words hit Xana like a brick wall, making her _finally_ realize Bastila had been trying to _help_ her with her trauma, not attack her. In her fear she had gone straight for an old defense mechanism: hurt to avoid getting hurt. She looked at the Jedi and for the first time she noticed the woman was looking extremely pained. She wanted to do nothing more but to drop down on her knees and apologize, but Ordo warned them about incoming hostiles. She drew her double blasters and rolled to one side of the door, just in time to see a group of mercenaries approach them.

The Mandalorian was already on them, firing his massive blaster rifle from the cover of the door. Xana started doing the same thing, carefully picking off the approaching hostiles one by one. In her mind she was already counting their numbers and she realized they were being overwhelmed. There was just no way the two of them could keep them at bay.

Suddenly something brown flashed by and Bastila appeared between the attacking mercenaries. Without any regard for her own safety she took them on from up close, using her yellow lightsaber with the intent to kill. The criminals truly didn't know what hit them when the flurry of slashes rained down upon them. The beauty Xana had seen in the fights against the Governor was still there, but this time it was different. More powerful, less graceful, almost… feral.

How she managed to kill all those mercenaries without getting wounded was beyond Xana. She had seen the Jedi reflect some blaster bolts with her saber and dodging a number of sword slashes with great agility, but it seemed Lady Luck was on her side that day. Once the last one had dropped dead Ordo turned to Bastila. "My, my… a true Jedi Knight. It's been a while since I last had a battle with one of those. It was against them back then, not with them." He looked approvingly at the dead mercs. "I must say it's a change I like."

Bastila didn't say anything, but walked onwards without even looking back. Xana ran towards the Jedi and tried to stop her. "Knight Shan! I've made a terrible mistake. Please let's talk about this!"

"You've talked enough already," the Knight answered with infinitely cold eyes. "You've made your point abundantly clear, let's not linger on it anymo…" She was interrupted by the sound of an enormous explosion somewhere close. No sooner had the noise pounded their eardrums or the ground started shaking violently, toppling the trio over. The entire building around them moaned from the massive strain that it suddenly had to endure. "An earthquake?" Bastila asked in disbelieve once the shaking had subsided a bit.

"Impossible," the Mandalorian answered. "This part of Taris doesn't lie on a fault line, natural earthquakes just don't occur here."

Thumping noises were all around them, some far away, some a bit closer. It sounded like hell. "What could possibly make such tremendous noises?" the scoundrel asked, eyes wide in shock. "And make the ground shake like this?"

"I can think of only one thing." Bastila's face had gone pale as a sheet. "To the _Ebon Hawk_!"

Xana wanted to question that order, but the Jedi had already rushed out of the hallway into the room beyond. She silently cursed and followed after the brunette. The ground kept shaking, which made it hard to keep a steady run. The hallway led back into the large living room, where Xana found Bastila standing in front of the panoramic window. The knight had stopped dead in her tracks and was staring out of the window with a mixture of horror and disbelieve in her eyes. Her pale face was illuminated by red flashes with irregular intervals. With leaden step the scoundrel approached her boss and turned to look out of the window as well.

The incomprehensible evil taking place on the other side of the glass was enough to make her heart stop.


	15. Armageddon

**Book One – Search and Rescue**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Armageddon**

* * *

The city of Taris was on fire. Everywhere the eye could see were flames, smoke and collapsing buildings. A deadly hail of red laser beams was raining down on the planet, destroying everything in its wake. Skyscrapers and smaller buildings alike, all became prey of the searing hot fire and brimstone that rained down from the clouded heavens. The scale of the attack betrayed that not a single soul was to be saved… all of them would face the wrath of whatever being was up there passing judgment on the planet.

A deadly cold feeling had settled in Xana's stomach. There were people out there in those buildings, millions – no, _billions_ of people. They were all being wiped out with a detached carelessness that she just couldn't understand. This wasn't done by a human being, it simply couldn't be. This must be the work of droids, computers, an unknown machine race from dark space, anything… _anything _but a sentient creature with a heart.

She knew she was fooling herself. She knew bloody well who was behind this attack. The entire Sith fleet was parked around Taris, for fuck's sake. They had even done it before, with the grotesque destruction of Telos IV. As she watched masses of laser beams pelting down on the city she knew that atrocity was about to repeat itself. And she was right in the middle of it.

"…the Sith are bombing the entire planet, I knew those bastards would turn on us one day. We must get to the _Ebon Hawk_ and pray that…" Davik Kang had entered the living area where Xana, Bastila and Ordo were watching the ongoing onslaught. He had slipped on a heavy plated combat suit – that for some mysterious reason was painted pink – and was talking hurriedly to Calo Nord. When he spotted the scoundrel he stopped dead in his tracks. "Well, well… if it isn't the Jedi. Or should I say… Sith?"

Another loud explosion could be heard nearby, coupled with the thundering noise of a collapsing building. The entire floor was shaking underneath them for a while, until it subsided back into the soft vibrations that had been constantly plaguing the mansion since the first attack. "There's no time for this," Nord told his boss. "Let's get rid of them and be on our way." Not waiting for the approval of Kang he drew his double blasters and opened fire on the group.

The three of them rolled out of the way, Bastila and Ordo to the right, Xana to the left. She wanted to stay close to the Jedi, but was separated from them when Kang engaged her with his vibrosword. Just in time to parry she drew her vibrosaber. She gave him a low kick in the gut, making him stumble back and giving her time to stand up and get in her battle stance.

The old crime lord didn't even bother with conversation, he was just eager to get Xana out of the way and try to escape Taris. His determination powered his blows as he attacked the scoundrel again. She quickly activated her melee shield and went at the old man with exactly the same determination. Despite his age he was still a good match for Xana. What he lacked in the power and speed department he made up for excellent skill, having honed it for decades.

Kang launched a flurry of well-aimed hits followed by a powerful slash from above. She parried them all and pushed the old man back, before launching a powerful slash herself. He did manage to parry, but Xana was able to break through, thanks to her stronger physique. A second slash broke through his melee shield in a single hit and the third was met by his combat suit, sending sparks flying in the air. Kang launched a quick counterattack, but the scoundrel rolled nimbly out of its reach, ending up on his flank. In all her might she stabbed at him and the vibrating steel of her saber penetrated the weaker hinge of the armor underneath the armpit. When she pulled back Kang's arm fell limply beside him and his sword dropped on the floor.

She quickly sliced his throat to dispose of the threat as fast as possible and not causing him unnecessary pain. As he dropped limply to the floor a massive explosion could be heard directly overhead. For a moment her vision became white and her hearing was replaced by a high whiz. The impact caused a part of the roof to collapse, which came thundering down in a cloud of white dust.

The dust irritated her airways and she coughed uncontrollably to clear them. Her hearing and vision slowly returned, just as slowly as the dust settled. When she got most of her senses back and most of the dust out of her system, her eyes grew wide in shock as she frantically looked around the room in search of her companions. She saw the Mandalorian covered in white dust, but there was no trace of either Bastila or Nord. Terror overwhelmed her and she quickly made her way to Ordo, who was out of breath. "The Jedi was fighting Calo exactly where the roof collapsed."

Xana rushed to the rubble and desperately started searching for Bastila. She would never forgive herself if the woman had died and she never had the chance to make up to her. A sudden movement caught her eye, someone was pushing rubble out of the way. Through the clouds of white dust that lay heavy in the air she recognized the brunette. "Knight Shan!" She rushed over to the Jedi and helped her get out of the debris and stand up. "Are you alright?"

Bastila was coughing violently and knocking the dust out of her robes with her hands. "I'm fine," she assured when the brunt of the coughs subsided. "Used the Force to dampen the fall of the rubble." Her eyes hovered over the remains of the roof. "I don't think that mercenary was as lucky though."

A nearby explosion made them remember the danger they were in. "Come on you two," Ordo called. He was kneeling at the body of Kang. "I've found the pass card to open the hangar and the key to the _Ebon Hawk_. Time to move!"

The Mandalorian had already rushed off to the hangar and the duo quickly followed suit. He rammed the pass card in the security console and gained access to hangar control. Fortunately the hangar doors weren't unhinged from the earlier impact and they slowly rolled open. Chased by the terrifying noises of a city under siege they hurried into the _Ebon Hawk_.

Ordo wasted no time to head for the cockpit and fire up the mighty engine. Once the loading ramp was closed shut he lifted off and flew it out of the hangar. "I hope there is time to save your friends," he told Xana, who had entered the cockpit behind him together with Bastila.

She looked grimly out of the window. "We're not leaving them behind. Fly to the landing zone we picked out."

Bastila looked pale. "There is no time to pick up those Republic marines from Zelka's clinic. We're going to have to leave them behind." Xana briefly touched the Jedi's arm. She wanted to say something reassuring, but couldn't find the words. Instead she made her way back to the loading ramp.

Mission, Carth, Zaalbar and T3-M4 were already waiting at the discussed landing zone. The area was miraculously unharmed, but the sounds of warfare lay heavy around them. When the _Ebon Hawk_ had landed Xana lowered the ramp and helped her friends inside. "What's going on Grey?" Mission asked, beside herself in fear.

Once the group had entered Xana closed the ramp shut and the _Ebon Hawk_ immediately lifted off. "Sith are bombing the planet," she grunted, before running back to the cockpit. Ordo was steering the ship up towards the heavens. Thanks to the launch codes they weren't attacked by the anti-air guns, but the lasers from above were just as lethal.

Ordo managed to evade the flurry of deadly lasers and it didn't take long before they left the planet's atmosphere. The mighty Sith fleet came into view and they witnessed hundreds of massive ships firing countless rows of turrets at the planet. "What are they doing?" Mission demanded to know. "Why are they firing at the city?"

"Incoming fighters," Ordo bellowed before Xana could answer the girl. "Brace yourself, I'm activating the automatic defense turret. It'll be a rough ride." Sure enough a squadron of fighters approached the _Ebon Hawk_ and wasted no time to open fire at them. The small fighters managed to land a number of blasts at their ship, but the shields didn't give way and protected the hull. The small turret on top of their ship fired away mercilessly at the smaller ships. After a few more attacks the fighters were disposed of.

"Plot a course for Dantooine," Bastila demanded.

Carth rushed to the navigation computer and started working on it, while Ordo steered the ship through the enemy fleet with impressive speed. It didn't take long before they passed the last row of hostile cruisers and with the flick of a button Carth sent the ship hurling into hyperspace. Only when the familiar blue corridor appeared before them did they dare breathe a sigh of relief. "We're out," Ordo said, sounding surprised. "We've made it out alive."

"What do you mean?" Mission wanted to know. "They're destroying Taris, we need to go back to help them."

"There's nothing we can do to help them, kid," the Mandalorian told her. "They have an entire fleet and we only have a small freighter. The planet is doomed."

"No! No it's not. Zaerdra is still down there, we need to go back to get her out." The girl was teary-eyed and refusing to accept the truth.

"Blue," Xana said softly. "Blue, he is right. It's cruel, but there's nothing we can do."

"You're all wrong!" Mission spat and she stormed out of the cockpit. Xana wanted to go after her, but Zaalbar stopped her by putting his massive claw on her shoulder. Without another word and with an infinitely sad look in his eyes he slouched after his best friend, leaving Ordo, Bastila, Carth and Xana behind.

"Why did this happen?" Bastila whispered.

"Isn't it obvious?" Carth spat at the Jedi. His eyes were haunted. "Malak wanted _you_, _you _and your Battle Meditation. He knew you were on Taris but he couldn't find you. Instead of risking you escape he chose to decimate the entire planet, with the only purpose to kill _you_." His words sounded downright accusing.

"Carth!" Xana rebuked. "Don't make it sound like it's her fault. This comes all down on Malak."

"It doesn't," the pilot snarled. "If _she_ hadn't been down there this all wouldn't have happened." He turned on his heels and stalked out of the cockpit.

Bastila's face was as white as a sheet. She quietly turned to leave, but Xana tried to stop her. "Knight Shan, he's just in shock, this has nothing to do with you." The Knight didn't show any sign that she had heard, but silently left.

* * *

Xana dropped down in the second pilot's chair next to Ordo and buried her head in her hands. "What the _fuck_."

"So that woman is _the_ Bastila Shan," Ordo said, unable to keep the amazement from his voice. "Harsh as it may sound I think the dude with the orange jacket was correct. Tales of the Grey General's Battle Meditation are told among Mandalorians even today. Shan's Battle Meditation is said to be just as powerful as Surik's, destroying an entire planet to get rid of such a massive threat is worth it." He saw Xana's offended glare and quickly added: "In a tactical viewpoint of course. Otherwise it's merely cruel and excessive."

"Tell me about it," Xana growled. She was deeply shocked when she thought about the six billion people on Taris, who were dying a horrible death as they were speaking. "That's the stuff of nightmares."

Ordo studied her. "Are you alright? A lot has happened in a short amount of time. That battle with Holdan was downright scary. I didn't know you were a Jedi too."

"I'm not," Xana answered. "I'm Force sensitive, but not trained as a Jedi. What happened in that duel was just a fuck-up, nothing more."

"I see…" The Mandalorian continued studying the scoundrel for a moment, clearly trying to decide whether or not to believe that explanation. "Well, whatever happened, your crew is in disarray right now. They need a strong leader, they need _you_. Go talk to them."

"They're not my crew," the scoundrel snarled. "Knight Shan is in charge of this mission, not me."

The Mandalorian snorted. "She's not a leader. When things turned bad she piped down immediately. You were the only one to keep your shit together." Xana nodded absentmindedly. "_Grey_, they look up to you, you're their grip in difficult times. Continue being that grip. Stay strong, at least until you've spoken to all of them. They'll all be traumatized for the rest of their lives if you don't. Believe me, I've seen it happen."

Xana saw her crew's faces flash in her mind: Carth, Zaalbar, Mission… Bastila. The Mandalorian was right, the destruction of Taris had carved deep wounds in their souls. Those wounds needed immediate attention, the terrors that happened needed to be put into perspective. They needed _her_. With a will of steel she pushed the horrors she had witnessed today out of her mind and after heaving a deep sigh she got to her feet. "Can I trust you to monitor things up here?"

"I've got it commander, you go to your crew."

She gave him a grateful nod and with leaden step started her round.

* * *

Zaalbar had holed himself up in the cargo hold. He was sitting with his back against some plasteel cylinders and was humming softly to himself. Xana kneeled down in front of him. "Hello Miss Grey," he greeted softly.

The scoundrel smiled kindly. "Hey there buddy. How are you holding up?"

"Mission is very angry," he answered sadly. "Didn't want to talk to me at all."

"She's in shock. She has lost an important friend today and it has wounded her heart. Such wounds take time to heal."

"Yes." He stared at the floor. "She needs time." He looked up again. "She'll still be my friend, right?" The question sounded hopeful.

"Of course she will," Xana smiled. "You're her best friend, she _needs_ you. Please don't abandon her because she snapped at you."

He nodded. "Yes, she needs me. We promised to stay together forever, no matter what would happen."

"What about you Zaalbar? How do _you_ feel?"

"It hurts in my chest," he growled lowly. "Why do people do such things to other people?"

The scoundrel sighed. "I doubt even the wisest sage could answer that question. What happened today is so excessively evil that a sound mind would never be able to do it. I don't think there's much humanity left in Malak."

"I'm scared Miss Grey," the Wookie whimpered.

The scoundrel placed her hand on his shoulder and gave him the most assuring smile she could muster. "We're safely in hyperspace now, the Sith can't touch us here. We're traveling to the Jedi enclave on Dantooine, where we'll be under the protection of the Jedi. They'll surely know how to deal with this."

"Yes." A long silence fell between them. After a while Zaalbar spoke again. "I wish to be alone for now. I need time to think."

Xana smiled kindly and got to her feet. "Sure thing. Remember, if you need anything don't hesitate to give me a call. Today, or any day in the future."

"Thank you, Miss Grey."

* * *

She found Carth in the starboard dorm. He was sitting on a bunk and staring forward with hollow eyes. Xana was still angry with him for accusing Bastila, but she could see he was shocked beyond wits. She sat down beside him on the bed.

"Now I know," he said gruffly. Tears welled up in his eyes. "Now I know the terrors Morgana and Dustil went through in their final hour."

"Oh Carth…" Seeing his grief hurt Xana deeply. She wrapped her arm around his shoulder.

"I trusted him, Grey, I trusted Saul. He was my mentor, my councilor." His voice broke and he started openly crying. He buried his face in his hands and Xana pulled him against her.

"Who is this Saul?" she inquired softly.

"Saul Karath," he spat violently. "He was my Admiral during the Mandalorian Wars, but he betrayed us and joined the Sith. Bombed Telos IV to prove his loyalty. He killed my Morgana and my Dustil."

"That's terrible Carth." She turned his head and looked him intently in the eyes. "But Bastila is _not_ Karath, she is _not_ to blame for what happened here today."

"I know." He burst out in tears once again. "I know, yet I hurt her. I thought it would make me feel better if I could blame this on someone I could actually _see_. But it has only made me feel even worse."

"Please make up to her Carth. She doesn't deserve being hurt like this."

"I will. Later, when I've calmed down." His body continued shaking, but the crying had stopped. "God, I'm a mess right now."

"We all are. Today is a truly black day."

"Do you understand now?" Carth asked. "Do you understand why I want revenge?"

Xana understood. When she thought about Malak anger surged through her veins and she wanted nothing more but to wrap her fingers around his throat and strangle him. But she also realized giving in to that anger was only going to help her end up dead real quick. "I understand Carth. But following your anger blindly will destroy you." Her eyes became infinitely cold. "You need to approach these things with cold rationality."

He buried his face in his hands again. "I can't think rational anymore."

"A lot has happened. Maybe the light of a new day will clear things up in your mind. Get a hot shower and some sleep." Xana got to her feet and left the dorm, feeling a mixture of pity and contempt. For a typical light side bigot he was awfully quick to give in to his emotions. She immediately regretted those thoughts when thinking about the horrors of Taris and his open crying. He had gone through enough stuff to break even the strongest man. He needed some serious help to get his shit back together.

* * *

Xana entered the captain's quarters directly behind the cockpit, where Bastila had sought refuge. She briefly glanced around and saw a tiny, attached bathroom, a desk with computer terminal, a small couch and a double bed. The Jedi Knight was sitting on the edge of the bed and staring at the floor.

"Knight Shan?" No response. Xana took a tentative step forward. "Bastila?"

The woman stirred a bit. "I've just informed the Council about Malak's atrocities," she said in a faraway voice. "The Republic is being informed as we speak, they will have to respond to this new development. The fleet has to be moved, plans forged… all because of me." Suddenly the woman seemed to be realizing who she was talking to and she turned to the scoundrel with cold eyes. "Came to laugh at the downfall of the mighty war hero?"

"Even if all this _was_ your fault I wouldn't laugh," Xana answered softly. "But it isn't your fault… it was Malak who bombed the planet, not you. No matter his reasons, it was _his_ mistake, not yours. You could've done nothing to prevent that."

Bastila snorted. "If I hadn't been on Taris it wouldn't have been bombed. If I had surrendered myself to the Sith it wouldn't have been bombed. No matter how you look at it, _I_ am the reason for the destruction of Taris."

"No!" Xana kneeled in front of the brunette and looked her deeply in the eyes. "That's _not_ true. Malak wants to dispose of your Battle Meditation and is getting desperate. If you hadn't been on Taris he simply would've bombed whatever other planet you were on instead. And don't even start on surrendering to the Sith, because if you would do that this entire war would be lost. The galaxy would fall to the Sith and even worse atrocities than the one on Taris would happen."

The Jedi looked uncertain and was completely lost for words. She looked Xana almost pleadingly in the eyes. "Malak has snapped Bastila." Xana urged. "The destruction of Taris is the result of his cruelty, you're absolutely not to blame."

"I… know," Bastila said slowly. "I know you're absolutely right." She continued looking uncertainly in Xana's eyes. "But I just can't help but think that somehow I could have avoided this."

"Don't do this to yourself Bastila," the scoundrel whispered, while keeping eye contact in an attempt to reach her. "You are _not_ to blame."

"Xana I…"

"You are _not_ to blame," she repeated, while she tried to use the Force Bond to convey her conviction.

"But…"

"You are _not_ to blame."

"I am not to blame," she whispered. The truth finally seemed to dawn to her. "You're right, I'm not to blame. This is Malak's fault, not mine." She stood up and moved away from the scoundrel, while heaving a deep sigh. "I guess I was just so used to messing things up these days that I automatically concluded this bombardment must be my fault as well."

Xana got to her feet as well and turned to the Jedi. "Aren't you exaggerating things right now?" she asked carefully.

Bastila snorted. "This entire mission has been one great fiasco. I've probably done everything wrong that I could've done wrong. On top of that the only two people I ever tried to open up to have turned against me in the span of an hour." She hung her head. "I'm such a failure," she said in quavering voice.

"Bastila…" Xana placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't say such things about yourself. Carth and I haven't turned against you. I've spoken to Carth, he is in deep shock. He was forced to witness the way his wife and son died, that's deeply traumatic stuff right there. In his fear and grief he took it out on you, needing someone to blame. He regrets those words now. And about me… Ordo was right, I was completely overreacting back in the mansion. I have called you things that I shouldn't have and I apologize for that."

"No, I handled it all wrong. In my eagerness to be something I'm not I tried to force a conversation that should've waited until we were out of that stressful situation and you've had the time to digest what happened at your duel. Due to my pitiful social skills I've only made things worse for you."

"What do you mean, 'pitiful social skills'? What do you mean 'something I'm not'? You make yourself sound like some socially-impaired recluse, which you obviously aren't."

The knight gave her a sad look. "Xana, I've never had a close friend in my life, literary none. My entire youth was lived in seclusion, locked away under the close watch of the masters. They were absolutely adamant I would not be badly influenced by other children."

"That's absolutely horrible!" Xana exclaimed. "Who would do something like that to a young girl?"

"I didn't learn of this until much later, but there was a small movement going on under the young Padawans. Someone was trying to lure them away from the light side by spreading the false mantras of a long forgotten Jedi Order. As a very promising prospect they wanted to keep me far away from that corruption."

Bastila sighed and sat down on the bed once again. "I never had any friends, only superiors or subordinates. I've never learned how to deal with my equals, never knew what it was to have a friend. I thought it was for the best, thought such relationships would only be a burden." She looked Xana in the eyes and sobbed. "But I was wrong. I've seen so much of war, so much death and destruction… I thought I could handle it by myself, but I can't. I tried to be there for you in the hope that you'd be there for me in return. But in my inexperience with these matters I've only managed to push you away."

"You really should stop jumping to the wrong conclusions inside that little head of yours." Xana sighed and sat down besides the woman on the bed. "I'm not blaming you for trying to help me. Like you said, it came at completely the wrong moment, but that doesn't mean it was the wrong thing to do." She wrapped her arm around the brunette's shoulders and looked into her grey eyes. "I want… no, I _need_ you to help me."

"Why would you need the help of some stuck-up war hero with a frozen heart?" Bastila's silent tone and sad eyes betrayed that she really thought that of herself.

"Come on Bastila, you know I didn't mean that. You're much more than that. Maybe on the outside you seem cold and distanced, maybe at times you have trouble expressing yourself, but I know you have a compassionate heart. When you healed my arm after my fight with the Governor you were extremely gentle, although I deserved all the pain for my stupidity. And when I broke down from… that flashback you tried to be there for me."

"I… guess you're right," the knight slowly said.

Xana smiled and squeezed Bastila's shoulders gently. "Look, we both handled today very badly and we both made mistakes we're not proud of. Why don't we put that behind us and start acting like real bondmates for a change?"

The brunette looked the scoundrel uncertainly in the eyes. "And what would real bondmates act like?"

"Like friends." Xana saw Bastila's cynical look and quickly continued: "I mean it Bastila, let's become friends. I know you're a powerful, famous war hero and I know I'm just a useless criminal that could never _dream_ of coming anywhere near your league, but I would really like it if you were to become my friend."

The Jedi looked shocked and confused. "Why?" was all she managed to ask.

"Didn't you just tell me a minute ago that becoming friends with me is what you wanted?"

"It is," the Jedi agreed. "But why would _you_ want to be _my_ friend?"

"Now you're just playing stupid," the scoundrel admonished. "Why _wouldn't_ I want to be your friend?"

"Because no matter what you say, I have a cold-as-ice attitude, care only about achieving the goals I've set for myself, have trouble showing empathy, have even more trouble expressing myself and probably am the least pleasant being to be with."

Xana grinned widely. "Sounds like you could be my twin."

Bastila slowly processed that statement while studying the other woman and gradually her face transformed into a weak smile. "Except that you would be the more annoying one of the twins," she joked, still with a frail voice.

The scoundrel's grin only widened, glad that the brunette could joke again. "And you would be mommy's girl, always telling on the pranks of her sister."

"Because the sister could really hurt herself with her pranks and needs the loving protection from her better halve."

Xana couldn't help but laugh out loud and Bastila joined her. "Are you always going to have the final word?" the scoundrel playfully wanted to know.

"Seeing how I possess the superior intellect I probably will," the knight answered smugly, but with a warm smile.

"Gee, I'm glad we have at least one difference," Xana grinned. Bastila cocked an inquiring eyebrow. "I'm the paragon of modesty while you clearly aren't," she elaborated with a mischievous grin.

Bastila snorted. "You're about as modest as the average Jedi Master… and then I'm giving them too much credit."

The scoundrel laughed and looked fondly at the Jedi, glad that she was back to her former self. "Knight Shan, if there's anything I can do for you, now or in the future, don't hesitate to ask."

"Please keep calling me Bastila," the Jedi requested, while giving her a warm smile. "Friends don't call each other by fancy titles, now do they?"

"Err, probably not, wouldn't really know," Xana admitted sheepishly. "The only friend I ever had in my post-amnesic life is Mission… and maybe Zaalbar too. These things are just as new for me as they are for you."

"Oh…" The words visibly surprised Bastila. "And here I was thinking I was the only lone wolf between us."

"Guess powerful, intelligent, gorgeous women with an attitude scare off possible friend candidates," she answered with smirk. Bastila rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, causing Xana to chuckle. "But thanks for allowing me to call you Bastila," she said sincerely. "It really means a lot to me, coming from the woman I so deeply respect."

For a moment Bastila didn't know how to respond to that declaration, but then she simply smiled. "You're welcome."

Xana sighed as the gravity of the situation came crashing down on her again. The brunette had only temporarily managed to alleviate that pain. "I should go speak to Mission," she said softly as she got to her feet. "She's taking this all very badly."

Bastila got to her feet as well and suddenly looked guilty. "That should be my responsibility, as the commanding officer."

The scoundrel placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled kindly. "Don't hit yourself over the head with it, I've got your back. Force knows last days have treated you very badly."

"So did they you," Bastila countered, looking concerned. "How are _you_ dealing with all this?"

"I'm trying not to think about it until I've spoken to all of my teammates."

"Don't burry this until it becomes another trauma, Xana." The words were soft and full of concern.

Xana managed a weak smile. "Don't worry Bastila. I'm not someone who makes the same mistakes twice. We'll talk." The scoundrel headed for the door, but turned around before she left. "Bastila, you should know that I'm really glad to have you as friend. No one could ever make me feel this safe and secure with their presence alone. Thank you for that."

The words visibly touched Bastila. She looked grateful and emotional, but couldn't find the words to answer. She merely nodded and smiled weakly. Xana could feel the weight behind that gesture and she understood. She left with a content feeling.

* * *

Mission was already sleeping when Xana entered the portside dorm. The scoundrel sighed to herself, she had wanted to speak to the girl before going to sleep, but she wasn't going to wake her up. Force knew she needed that sleep right now. Instead she quickly stripped down to her underwear and took the bunk below the Twi'lek.

She spent some time rolling around, mulling over the terrors she had witnessed today. The cruelties had been so unfathomable, so out of proportion. She had read of the destruction of Telos IV, but witnessing such a deed in person gave it a deeper dimension, made her truly understand the sheer evil behind it. She rolled over again and heard movement above her. Mission climbed out of her bunk and looked down on Xana. "C-Can I please sleep with you tonight?" she asked with a quavering voice.

"Of course," Xana immediately answered, while holding up the sheets. The Twi'lek climbed in and pinned herself against the human. The scoundrel wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled her close. The poor thing was trembling all over her body.

"Zaerdra is dead, isn't she?" Mission whispered.

"Blue…"

"Grey, please tell me truth. I need to know the truth." Her voice nearly broke and Xana could feel something break inside her as well. _Who does something like this to a young girl?_

"Blue, during the bombardment of Telos IV there was not a single soul on the surface that survived. Some people that lived in the lowest parts of Taris might have survived, but that's wishful thinking at best." Mission started crying and clung on to Xana. "I'm so sorry Blue."

"We had just made up," the girl wailed. "She finally wanted to see me again and now she's dead. It's so unfair."

"It is unfair, Blue." Xana started stroking Mission's back in an attempt to calm her down.

"This is all Malak's fault, isn't it?" Her tone had become harsh through her sobs. "He did this to Taris, didn't he?"

"Yes, this is all Malak's fault."

The girl pulled back her head and looked the scoundrel in the eyes. "_You_ are strong. You must punish him for what he has done."

"I'm just a sorry scoundrel, I can never fight against a Sith Lord."

"No!" The girl sounded absolutely adamant. "You are Force sensitive. You must become a Jedi Knight and kill him. Lady Shan will help you become one, I'm sure of it. You two like each other, you can do this together." She buried her wet face in Xana's neck again. "You are strong. P-Please, you must stop him."

"Blue, we must speak to the Jedi Council first. If it turns out that killing Malak lies within my capabilities, I will do everything to achieve that goal. _Everything_. That's not a promise, that's an oath." They were not empty words to calm Mission down. Every fiber of her body wanted Malak dead for the things he had done to her friends. If she would get the chance she'd take it without second thought.

"Thank you," the girl muttered. "I'll stand beside you all the way."

Xana locked the girl safely in her arms and whispered her thanks. Mission had calmed down from her words and it took her only minutes to fall asleep between the protective arms of her boss, exhausted from everything that had happened. Xana lay awake thinking for a while longer, but eventually the rhythm of Mission's soft snores lulled her asleep as well.

* * *

**End of Book One**

* * *

**A/N:** The destruction of Taris, genocide on such a massive scale. If you try to compare it to the atrocities that happened in our own history it becomes totally incomprehensible. Always felt that the game treated it way too lightly. It is truly the pivoting point of the story and the catalyst for the amnesic PC to go after Malak.

I've made a minor adjustment to the Ebon Hawk by changing the room directly behind the cockpit into the captain's quarters. A romance story needs a love shack after all and the Ebon Hawk was horribly lacking in the love shack department. It's going to be put to good use no doubt, somewhere down the road.

As always, thanks for sticking by this story and your kind and constructive reviews. It truly is the best motivation to soldier on. Stay tuned for the next chapter, because it'll be a special one.


	16. Revan's Past: The Little Guardian

**A/N:** _As promised a special chapter this time. This is the first chapter in a separate series concerning Revan's past. I'm planning to release several of these chapters in between planets (or books) and they will slowly give an impression of the events and decisions that led to the birth of Darth Revan, first Grey Lord of the Sith. And you're in luck, the first part became so large that I've decided to split it up and release it in two chapters._

_This should also answer your questions regarding Meetra Surik aka the Exile. Yes, she will be included in this story, but only in the past. She will not make her appearance aboard the Endar Spire to aid in the quest for the star maps. Hers is a totally different tale to tell after all._

_So, without further ado: the birth of a superstar._

* * *

**Interlude – Revan's Past**

**The Little Guardian**

* * *

Nar Shaddaa.

Perhaps better known by its more explicit nickname: the Smuggler's Moon. Nar Shaddaa had many of such nicknames, some even more vile than the others, but all of them a testimony to its rotten nature. No such things as Light Side or Dark Side existed here, merely a primal struggle for survival. Natural selection. The strong ruling the weak.

It was in the streets of this infested moon that Kreia was making her way, patiently searching for somebody. She didn't exactly know who that person was, that information would be revealed to her once she had found the person that was so crucial to the continuation of her plans. Kreia might be old, plans of retirement she had not. Quite the contrary, she was ever busy devising schemes to change the course of many things. Now she required someone of kindred spirit, someone who'd complement the qualities she lacked and who'd carry on the genes of her believes to the next generation.

A successor.

Something big and untamed rippled through the Force, so big that it was noticeable even over the overwhelming amount of noise radiating from the seventy billion inhabitants of the moon. Her patience might just have paid off.

* * *

Twelve was in deep trouble. Sure, she got into trouble loads of times, but this time she might have reached the absolute pinnacle of getting into trouble. The small black-haired girl was rushing through the streets of Nar Shaddaa like her life depended on it. This was not so strange, considering her life truly _did_ depend on it. She was chased by a very angry merchant with a very real blaster pistol.

Little number Twelve had been prancing around the local market place for a noble cause. The food they gave her at the orphanage was utterly disgusting, even the Gamorreans would turn their noses up for that crap. Twelve wouldn't be Twelve if she'd settle for eating garbage, as she was very capable of standing up for herself. So her bright green eyes were scanning the area for something edible with actual flavor.

Soon she found her favorite stand and found what she was looking for: a juicy, red apple. Fond memories returned to her, that crunchy bite in combination with the sweet juice was enough to get the saliva running freely in her mouth. She quickly scanned her surroundings and calculated her odds; they were in her favor. She turned around to the little droid that was happily buzzing three feet behind her. "Stay here HK," she whispered to the mechanical creature. "I'm going to nick that red fruity thing, prepare to bail if the trader comes after me."

The droid let out a series of happy hoots and dings, telling Twelve that it had understood. The little girl started sneaking to the stand. It was rush-hour, making it easy for her to approach the fruit stand unnoticed. Her olive-tanned little hand curled around her price and she quickly snatched it away. She turned around to leave, but a loud voice made her heart skip a beat. "Oh no you don't you fucking pest, not this time!"

"Uh-oh." The girl broke out in a run and called for her droid. "Time to bail HK!" The droid – which was really nothing more than a couple of thrusters, chips and a weak laser welded to a ten inch wide frame – quickly followed his creator. The merchant had taken out his blaster pistol and was aiming it at the thief. The small and nimble girl had the advantage in the bustling streets and after rounding a couple of corners she had shaken off the merchant. For good measure she continued her quick pace for a little while longer.

After rounding another corner she crashed face first in an old lady, causing her to drop the apple. "Watch it you old hag," she scolded, and repeated her curses in several more languages to make sure grandma understood just how offended she was.

"What kind of tone is that to an old lady?" the woman inquired in Basic, while getting back up on her feet. She was wearing brown robes, with a hood that fell far over her eyes. Her hair was braided into two thick strands that lined her face on each side.

The young girl grinned. "Damn, you're ugly. Did you sleep out in the fucking streets or something?"

"Your careless use of profanity gives you no credit," the old woman warned. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

Twelve snorted. "My father got himself killed when he stole spice from some drugs runners. If my mother hasn't died yet she's probably whoring herself out in exchange for drugs, like the stupid addicted cunt she is. Nah, I'm on my own. A lone wolf." She sneaked a peek under the woman's hood and her big green eyes grew wide in shock. "The hell happened to your eyes, old lady? You're blind!"

"I am just as blind as you are, child. Maybe I've lost one set of senses, the other four and the Force make up for that."

"The Force? Are you saying you're a Jedi?"

The woman looked impressed. "Keen observation for one so young."

"Hey I'm seven years old!" Twelve protested. "Don't insult me again or HK will zap you." As an answer the little droid started happily dooting behind her.

"And just what in blazes is that?" the woman asked while pointing at the hideous droid.

"This is HK-41," the girl answered proudly. "It's an assassin droid."

The Jedi snorted. "And just what is it supposed to assassinate? Cockroaches?"

"Sure, keep patronizing my creation. Just don't come whining at my door when the fully developed version kills you in your sleep in about… twenty years."

"A seven year old girl building a fully functional droid?" The Jedi sounded impressed.

"Well, fully functional… I'm still searching for another thruster to constrain the motion around the Z-axis, right now it can't hoover completely still, which makes it harder to aim its laser. And it needs an outer casing too, but that has to be shiny! Can't find the proper material in this dump."

"My, my. You're a bright kid. Knowledge of droid mechanics, knowledge of several languages and quick and nimble."

"Hey, I speak five languages fluently!" Twelve said proudly. "There's nothing I can't do."

"That's good. Now please tell me your name."

"Err, they call me number Twelve at the orphanage." Her bright green eyes turned sad for a moment. "My good-for-nothing parents didn't bother giving me a name."

"That can't do," the Jedi woman said. "You were born to do great things, you need a strong name to be remembered by."

Twelve looked at her skeptically. "And just how do you know I'm born to do great things, old hag?"

For the first time the Jedi smiled and she extended her hand. "You may call me Master Kreia. You're going to be traveling with me to Coruscant, where you shall be instructed in the ways of the Jedi."

The information clicked into place behind those big green eyes and Twelve smiled brightly. "I'm going to become a Jedi Knight and leave this fucking moon?" She grabbed Kreia by the hand and her smile widened. "Why didn't you tell me right away, instead of wasting precious study time?"

* * *

"Ooh, is that Kreia's adorable new apprentice practicing Force Push?"

"It sure is. Looks like Kreia has finally lured the little nuisance out of the library."

"Don't call her that. Look at how cute she is. Have you ever seen such livid green eyes, filled with such determination?"

"I have no doubt she will grow into a beautiful woman. I might even like her, if she weren't such a gluttonous little creature, ever hungry for knowledge. Spends hours in the library, either reading or pestering me with questions."

"Well, isn't answering those questions your task as librarian, Atris?"

"I'm a _historian_ Lonna, not merely a librarian. Sure, I don't mind answering her questions, but there is a limit. Somehow she always manages to coax me into telling her stories, making me waste hours of my precious time without me even noticing. It's frustrating."

Lonna Vash chuckled. "You know what I think, Atris? I think this girl reminds you of your younger self, ever curious about the galaxy, how it works and how it came to be. And I don't think you consider teaching her a waste of time, quite the contrary in fact. If I were to guess you just love telling her your stories."

Atris breathed a deep sigh. "Well, I can't deny I do. She's such a cheerful kid and can be surprising good company, if she watches that foul mouth of hers. But is it really okay for such a young girl to learn so much? Won't boundless knowledge lead to the Dark Side?"

"You worry about it too much. Kreia has her on a tight leash and countless of her students have turned into strong pillars our Order of Light can build upon. Have faith in her."

"You're right, maybe I'm just overthinking things."

Lonna grabbed her friend by the shoulder. "Continue supporting that girl, Atris. She needs it. And maybe you'll learn a thing or two as well. It's good practice for when you've become a Jedi Master and start teaching your own Padawan."

Atris considered those words as she studied the girl with short black hair. It seemed as though she had made up her mind, because a warm smile finally broke through on her beautiful features.

* * *

In all her might Twelve was focusing the Force. _Fall over you blasted piece of shit_, she thought at the empty bottle that she was supposed to knock over using the Force. After two years of studying under Kreia she was _finally_ allowed to learn her first Force ability, but so far she hadn't been able to pull it off.

Studying under the old hag had been fun, despite the Master's often cranky behavior. Twelve had been granted full access to the library, where she had simply _devoured_ any interesting book she could get her hands on. Most of her night's rest was sacrificed to the written word. And listening to the tales of Atris was even more interesting, whenever she managed to convince the irritable lady to tell her a story. She had quickly discovered that Atris had almost as much knowledge of history as the library itself and was a tremendous storyteller.

Master Kreia had quickly picked up on her interests and made sure it was exploited to the fullest. Twelve had been ordered to study every spoken language of the galaxy. If the girl found this a strange order she didn't bother asking about it, because linguistics was one of her favorite subjects. And droids of course. She had started from the ground on a new droid up with the materials Kreia reluctantly provided. The old hag found her fascination for tin cans unhealthy, but she encouraged it nonetheless, because it stimulated her creative and process thinking.

The rest of her time was spent meditating, learning how to wield a lightsaber and studying the boring Jedi Code and politics. Fighting with the practice lightsaber was fun, but she would much rather like to learn about using the Force to fight. All the Masters commended her on her powerful connection to the Force, but everyone told her it was too early for her to try and do something with it. She was only allowed to meditate and improve her attunement to it.

Until now. After loads of whining she was finally allowed to learn the Force Push ability. All she had to do was mold the Force into a wave that knocked the bottle over. But no matter how hard she concentrated, she just couldn't pull it off. "I knew it was too early to teach you this," came Kreia's mocking voice. She was observing her apprentice from a small distance in the courtyard of the Jedi Temple. "We've been at this for four days and the bottle still hasn't moved."

Twelve pouted from the admonishment, but was determined not to let this old hag scold her. There were many Jedi out here in the courtyard, most of them watching her with half an eye, keen to see if the promising new students would surprise them again. She'd show them she could do anything.

After heaving a deep breath she closed her eyes and started searching for the Force. Once she had found it she grabbed it and molded it in her mind. Her bright green eyes opened and she focused on the empty bottle, became one with it. She released the bundled Force and flung it towards the bottle. To her astonishment and pride it was knocked over.

Applause and surprised chatter broke out around her. None of the bystanders had expected a girl as young as her to successfully use a Force Push. A big grin curled around Twelve's lips and she proudly turned to her Master. "Too early my ass, old hag."

If Kreia was surprised she hid it extremely well. "If you hadn't been so insolate I might have rewarded you for this fine achievement. Right now all you have coming to you is a washing of your mouth with soap."

Twelve's pride deflated like a balloon. "Come on Master Kreia, we've been through this. You can't punish me for what my youth on Nar Shaddaa has formed me into."

The Master smiled. "Perhaps not. Suffice to say you've made me very proud. You've proven even more capable than I originally anticipated. Yes, you're ready for the next part of your training."

* * *

Twelve and Kreia were sitting on a small bench in one of Coruscant's many bustling streets. The old Master had bought her apprentice a large bowl of freshly sliced fruit to reward her for her outstanding achievement. Somehow the young girl considered this a real treat, instead of the candy bars most of her peers preferred. Twelve was devouring the sweet fruit like it was a gift from the Force.

When she was done eating her treat she politely thanked Kreia for it, hoping this wasn't going to be the last time she was rewarded with it. Kreia merely smiled at her, before continuing studying the people passing by. "Now Twelve, I wish to hear your opinion about the Jedi Order and its mantras. You've had two years to study them and I'm sure you have your own ideas about them."

The girl looked uncertainly at her Master. "Do you want to hear the version the Masters want to hear, or my _real_ opinion?"

"The real version, please." Kreia smiled encouragingly at her pupil. "I promise you won't be punished."

"Well, I'm sure the intentions of the Order are good, but isn't it all a bit one-sided? I mean, back on Nar Shaddaa I've stolen food, which is supposed to be evil. But if I hadn't stolen that food I would've died, so was it really a Dark Sided action?"

"You're saying the Order pictures a too black and white image?"

Twelve thought hardly about it. "I think evil is sometimes necessary to ensure survival or progress. Wild animals kill each other mercilessly, for food, territory or propagation. Can you blame the animal for that? I don't think so. Evil can be justified, as long as your ultimate goal is just."

Kreia smiled warmly at the young girl. "Your words show you possess true wisdom. You've surpassed the boundaries of your teachings and thought beyond the limits of the Code. I'm proud of you."

Twelve looked at her Master in surprise. "You agree with me then?"

"Oh yes. The Council propagates a one hundred percent Light Sided approach, but it can be dangerous and possibly harmful. They consider the Dark Side as too much a danger, sometimes withholding them from taking the right action. It's alright to want to police the galaxy, but only if you're willing to take the full responsibility."

The girl stared thoughtfully at the passing people. "Why does nobody realize the flaws of the Code?"

"Fear, mostly." The old Master's voice had turned dark. "Those who hold a different opinion are often punished harshly. Besides, it's in the Council's best interest to uphold those flawed teachings." Twelve eyed Kreia inquiringly. "They can use it to their own advantage. Bend and twist it to achieve what's beneficial to them. Such corruption within the Council isn't unheard of, but nobody dares taking action against it."

"Who polices the police…"

"Exactly, keen summarization." Kreia looked proudly at her student, whose chest swelled in pride. "No one wishes to face the wrath of the Council. No one but me. I'm trying to start a shadow Order, a small group of Jedi with the sole purpose of monitoring the actions and decisions of the Council. A group of Jedi who are not bound by black or white, but choose a more grey approach." She looked at Twelve meaningfully. "And I want you to become its spearhead."

Twelve's green eyes grew big. "Why me?"

"You're smart and cunning. You're able to speak a large number of languages. You can influence people, persuade them. You understand the galaxy and realize it's not all white and black. Your command of the Force is strong and already starting to manifest itself. When you grow up people will start to look up to you, see you as an authority, a leader."

"Wow." Twelve felt proud, happy that her Master had so much trust in her. "But where do we begin?"

"We must threat very carefully, because our intentions can't be discovered. Talk to _no one_ about this, keep up the appearance that you're still very much on the Light Side of the Force and using the Jedi Code as your guide. You're young and untrained and there's much I need to teach you about being a Grey Jedi. Only when you've achieved the rank of Jedi Knight it would be wise to actively start gathering like-minded Jedi for our cause."

"That's a long road," the girl said, sad that she couldn't get into action immediately.

"Patience seems to be a trait you don't possess," Kreia mused. "It'll be many years before you've reached the point where you can start making a change with your skills. I urge you not to take action on your own before I've given you the green light."

"I understand, Master Kreia." A mischievous grin curled around her lips. "But you can't possibly expect me to have only you as Master all that time, can you?" Kreia looked mildly surprised. "There's so many Masters out there, all with their own specialisms. I want to learn from them all."

The old Master chuckled. "Always so studious. Do you honestly believe you can learn everything there is to learn? Because that will take many, many lifetimes."

"Nah, I'm realistic. I want to learn all the _useful _things there are to learn."

"Fair enough. I'm afraid I won't be able to satisfy your lust for knowledge forever. You're free to learn from whatever Master you wish, as long as you keep your true intentions hidden."

Twelve grinned cockily. "Kreia, _please_. Self-preservation is my motto. This will be our little secret."

"Excellent. I'm glad you're taking this serious, it really lifts a weight of my shoulder. Train hard and study even harder and you'll become an excellent guardian for the Jedi Order."

"A guardian, huh?" Twelve was lost in thought for a moment. "Kreia, I think I have come up with a name for myself. The word for guardian in Ancient Basic: Revan."

"Ancient Basic?" Kreia looked disapproving. "Didn't I order you to learn all currently used languages, not the long forgotten ones?"

"Well, yeah…" the initiate looked a bit ashamed. "I… kinda came across a book about Ancient Basic and it… sort of sucked me in."

"You're insatiable…" Kreia shook her head in exasperation and Twelve grinned sheepishly. "But yes, I think Revan would be a fine name, considering the meaning."

"Great! Then the galaxy shall know me as Revan!"

Kreia smiled at her, glad that she had finally found the right person. During her long life she had trained many Padawans, but none of them had possessed the right combination of skills, charisma and morals to take on her legacy. Now that her search was finally over she could start molding her apprentice exactly into what she wanted her to become.

* * *

"Lady Atris!" Revan was storming into the library, where she found the white-robed historian working behind her desk. "It's your favorite annoying brat!" she announced herself with an impish smile.

"First of all, no running in the library. Second of all, it's _Knight_ Atris. And third of all, I don't think you're an annoying brat." The historian didn't look up from the file she was working on.

Revan stood in front of Atris and her green eyes flared up in mischief. "But Lady Knight Atris, you're always grumbling at me for asking too many questions."

Atris finally looked to the young girl with a stern gaze. "And how do you deduct from that information that I think you're either annoying or a brat?"

"Ummm…" The girl's little face scrunched up in thought. "I just… thought you did."

"Young lady, I'm deeply disappointed in you. What did I teach you about jumping to conclusions?"

"Always be incredibly careful when making conclusions based solely on the information you possess," the girl chanted. "Because it might be incomplete, biased, or plainly wrong."

Atris' stern gaze intensified. "So?"

Revan's face fell and she cowered back a bit from the scary woman. "Sowwy, ma'am, for not bringing your lessons into practice."

The historian held her stern gaze a bit longer, but then smiled approvingly. "Apology accepted."

The girl's olive face immediately lit up in a bright smile and she cheered happily. She was immediately admonished by Atris for being too loud, so she quickly turned down the volume. "But Lady Knight Atris, I have finally picked a name for myself!"

"Oh? Let's hear it then," the Knight asked with interest. The girl had asked the historian's help with finding a suitable name, but despite her best efforts nothing she had come up with could pique the girl's interest.

"I want to be called Revan! It's Ancient Basic for Guardian!"

"That's a very fitting name for a Jedi," Atris approved, unaware of the deeper nature of it. "Did you come up with that all by yourself?" Revan nodded eagerly to show she had. "Very well done, Revan. I'm glad at least some of my teachings stick in that brain of yours."

The young girl pouted. "_All_ your teachings stick, Lady Knight Atris." She grinned mischievously. "I just only put the ones I deem worthy into practice."

"You truly are incorrigible," Atris sighed, but with a small smile knowing the girl was only fooling with her.

"So will you tell me about the history of Coruscant, Knight Lady Atris?"

"Foolish girl, call me Knight Atris or nothing at all."

"Sowwy Knight Atris," Revan said with an adorable pout. "So will you? _Pwease_?"

"Why don't you ask your Master?" Atris said evasively, trying not to look at Revan's begging green eyes.

"Because Master Kreia doesn't tell them nearly as good as you do," the girl answered, while bending over Atris' desk so that the woman was forced to look her in the eyes.

The historian became victim to the begging pout. "Fine, I tell you about the history of Coruscant." Revan cheered, granting her another admonishment from the white-haired Knight. Atris got to her feet and led the girl further into the library, to a set of comfortable chairs meant for reading. She made sure to pick a set of chairs that was out of the way of the other occupants of the library, so they would not be disturbed.

Atris sat down in the wide chair and Revan promptly dropped down next to her, resting her raven-haired head against the historian's shoulder. When Atris cocked an eyebrow she smiled impishly. "Hey, I missed the caring mother figure when I grew up, what can I do?"

"You're way too clever and manipulative for your own good," the Knight sighed, as she wrapped her arm around the girl's shoulder. "Which isn't all that strange, considering your Master." Revan merely grinned smugly as she made herself comfortable against Atris' body. In a soft voice the historian started her tale.


	17. Revan's Past: Friendship

**Interlude – Revan's Past**

**Friendship**

* * *

"Hello Revan, what's with the long face?" This was the first time Atris saw the girl enter her library without her characteristic bright smile. The girl's cheerful and often mischievous demeanor had become a bit of a thing in the Jedi Temple, there was not a single Jedi – old or young – unaffected by it. Revan had the ability to dominate entire rooms with that smile alone, easily puncturing the serious and solemn gloom.

"My Padawan trials are coming up," the girl grumbled as she slumped down on the floor next to the white-haired historian, sitting with her back against the desk.

Atris was surprised. "Your trials already? But you've been an Initiate for hardly five years."

"Kreia says I'm ready, along with many of the other Masters." Revan stared miserably in the distance.

This confused Atris even further. "But that's a good thing, isn't it? You should be incredibly proud for completing the initial training so quickly."

Revan breathed a deep sigh. "I _am_ proud. But the old hag never told me my trials would be on blasted Dantooine." Her green eyes turned resentfully to the Knight. "I don't want to leave Coruscant. I don't want to leave _you_."

The historian felt touched by the girl's attachment to her, but she also knew this was one of the lessons the girl must learn. "Staying in one place for longer periods of time is a luxury most Jedi Knights don't have. You should get used to the fact that you can get called away from your comfortable home and friends at any time."

"Blergh, should've known you'd make a lecture of it. Even when your favorite student is leaving you remain so strict and cold."

"I'm a twenty-two year old Jedi Knight, I see good friends come and go on a regular basis." She saw Revan's downcast look and felt a bit of pity, so she ruffled a hand through the girl's shoulder length messy hair. "Come on Revan, don't you want to explore a whole new world? Experience new things?" Revan looked up to her and Atris' face melted in a warm smile. "Coruscant and I won't be gone when you return as a Padawan."

Revan stared thoughtfully. "Seeing new things would be nice." She seemed to come to an agreement with herself and her face finally broke in a wide grin. "Alright, I'll go check out bloody Dantooine. But you'd better be a Jedi Master by the time I return, it's about time I'd swap Kreia for you."

Atris chuckled. "There are many years ahead of me before I'll have the aptitude of Master, so I'm afraid that's out of the question." She looked down on the girl affectionately. "Which will mercifully safe me from your unrelenting barrage of questions, no doubt."

"Meanie," the girl pouted, but the happy glint didn't vanish from her eyes.

The historian got to her feet and extended her hand to the girl. "So how about you stop sulking and I'll tell you one last story before you depart?"

The raven-haired girl cheered and grabbed the welcoming hand to pull herself up. "Deal. But it better be your best one yet."

* * *

Such a curious creature, her apprentice. Even after the five years Kreia had been training Revan she still had trouble fully comprehending her. An outsider might see Revan as a fearless girl with a good sense of humor and an amiable personality, albeit with a sometimes foul mouth. A studious little beast that could coax even the most hardened Jedi Master into revealing his secrets. Someone who was proud of her achievements and ever ambitious for more.

But how much of that was the true Revan? The fact that Kreia couldn't give a satisfying answer to that question was what made the girl so appealing to her. Revan was such a delightful mystery, a puzzle that wouldn't allow being solved unless you managed to take down all defensive walls she had erected around her inner being.

That's right, the girl was cheerful, proud and amiable – Kreia had no doubt this part wasn't played – but there was a whole other person underneath. She often used her bright demeanor as a defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt again. Yes, Revan was a hurt little creature, thanks to her troubled past on Nar Shaddaa. Seven years on the Smugglers Moon had left more scars on her soul than the average human was forced to endure in a lifetime.

Revan didn't talk about her youth and Kreia couldn't get her to talk either. She could take a wild guess at the horrors the girl had gone through. Abandoned by her parents and treated as a number by the orphanage, she had never received love or affection of any kind. The only thing the world had taught her was to trust nobody, on penalty of getting hurt. That lesson was put into practice every day, as she had trouble trusting anyone. Even the historian she had started taking a liking to was kept at arm's length.

During her time at the Jedi Temple she had started to relax somewhat, but her eyes never stopped frantically darting around, ever scanning for possible threats. Her desire to build an assassination droid was testament to that, as a droid was a constantly vigilant guardian, even when the master was asleep. Attempts at conversation to help the girl with her troubles were all deflected with profanity and black humor, or by crawling back in her shell and staying silent. It was sad that the girl wasn't accepting any help.

This was the reason why Revan was being transferred to the enclave on Dantooine. She had a hard time making friends with her peers in the Temple, simply because she was on a whole different level. Her superior skill and intellect made the other children weary of her and she made no effort to close that distance. She wasn't exactly a social outcast, but her seclusion wasn't doing her much good either.

It was time Revan made some real friends and Dantooine had two very promising students to fill that vacancy. One of them had the intelligence and wisdom to rival Revan's and the other was very gifted with the lightsaber. Kreia hoped sincerely her apprentice would open up to these two and possibly even befriend them. She liked the girl and cared for her, far beyond the call of duty. Sure, she needed a mentally sound Knight for her plans, but she genuinely wanted Revan to be happy. She was such a likable kid after all.

* * *

After a long and uneventful journey to Dantooine – which Revan spent utterly lost in a file about the arts of Force healing – their transport touched down at the edge of the Jedi enclave. The young Initiate nearly bounced off the walls, eager to get out of the cramped vehicle and explore the fresh new world. But the old hag had to bother her with words of caution, as she should've expected. "Now, while I'm talking to the Council you'll have some free time to explore this sanctuary. I probably won't have to tell you to stay on the grounds and behave?"

"C'mon, I'm almost a Padawan," she huffed. "I'm not a little girl anymore." She then proved exactly the contrary by jumping out of the spacecraft with a cheer before the ramp had even fully touched down. She received some disapproving looks of bystanders, but she couldn't be bothered. HK-43 let out a series of happy bleeps and followed suit.

Revan didn't stop running until she was at the center of the large courtyard. She breathed in the air deeply and looked around with a massive grin plastered on her face. This world was completely new to her, totally different from the concrete worlds of Nar Shaddaa and Coruscant. Dantooine had very little urban landscapes, the surface was mostly dominated by gentle sloping grasslands dotted with lakes and rivers. Even the climate was pleasant, making Revan want nothing more than to run out of the enclave and explore this brave new world.

Normally she would do just that without hesitation, but unfortunately Kreia had forbidden it and she knew better than to disobey a direct order. So instead she entered the enclave itself through the big doors. Many Jedi gave her curious stares, making her suspect her arrival hadn't gone entirely unannounced. She quite liked the idea of people recognizing her, it was one of the fruits of her hard labor to become and exceptional Jedi.

In one of the hallways she stumbled upon a young girl. The girl was about a head shorter than Revan and had long brown hair that flowed smoothly till just over her shoulder blades. Her blue eyes sparkled warmly, but Revan also noticed a hint of mischief in there. "Umm, hi?" she greeted cautiously.

"Hai!" the girl greeted brightly. "You must be Revan, the Initiate from Coruscant, yes?"

This confirmed Revan's earlier suspicion. "You know who I am?"

"The enclave has been in all states ever since word got out the prodigy of the Jedi Temple would honor us with her presence," the brunette answered with an impish grin.

"Prodigy of the Jedi Temple?" The Initiate returned the grin. "Quite a title."

"They like to propagate talent, give the other students an example to look up to." The girl's eyes shifted to something behind her, a predatory grin now adorning her cute face. Revan turned on her heels to follow the look, just in time to see a boy sneaking up on her carrying a large bucket. Without thought she grabbed the Force and smashed it into the bucket, flipping it cleanly over. The boy let out a strangled yelp as contents spilled over him, soaking his hair and robes with cold water.

"Oh, that's just dandy," the black-haired boy said as he looked down his soaked clothes. His face betrayed he felt stupid and disappointed, clearly his prank hadn't worked out the way he had intended it.

The brunette giggled and stepped next to Revan. "That was _awesome_!"

Revan gave the girl a sideways glance and cocked an eyebrow. "You're a part of this prank, aren't you?"

The girl smirked and gave her an openly challenging look. "What if I am?"

Revan returned the smirk. "Something like this." With another careless flick of her wrist she sent a tiny whirlwind hurling towards the conspirator's feet, which were swept away from underneath her body, causing her to topple face first into one of the flowerbeds that were lining the walls. When she got back on her feet her entire face was covered in black soil. This time it was the boy's turn to laugh.

She looked in shock at Revan's predatory grin. "How nice," she grumbled. Her face suddenly turned mischievous again. "Let me hug you to show my appreciation." She grabbed Revan in a bear hug before the Initiate could stop her. Because she was so tiny her face only reached up to her breast bone, where she rubbed it against Revan's robe, smearing the black soil all over the front.

"Hey! Stop that!" Revan tried to push her away, but the girl had wrapped her arms around her back and maintained a tight grip. Only when her face was sufficiently clean and Revan's robe was sufficiently dirty she released the newcomer and stepped back with a satisfied smirk, eying her handiwork. "Oh, that's just marvelous," Revan groaned. "Kreia's going to kill me."

"It's just a bit of dirt," the girl quipped. "Besides, you totally earned it."

"You were the one to attack me," Revan countered. She glanced over at the boy, who was trying to wring the water out of his robes. He was tall and had short-trimmed black hair. "You and Mister Lanky over there."

"We had to test your abilities, right?" the girl said brightly. "A Jedi should be constantly vigilant, certainly when dealing with strangers."

"You passed the test, by the way," the boy added, also smiling brightly. "The stories do your ability no justice, I've never seen someone weave Force magic so fast."

"Or so properly measured," the girl mused. "If Alek were the one to do that Force push he would've smashed the bucket right through you."

"And broken your legs with that whirlwind," he grinned.

"Don't say that so smugly," the girl reprimanded. "Instead of constantly training lightsaber combat you should focus more on getting your Force abilities under control."

"And you should focus more on lightsaber combat, instead of studying fancy Force abilities constantly."

"Maybe you should both try to strike a balance between the two," Revan advised them with a grin. "And stop being impolite and introduce yourselves to the newcomer, instead of attacking her in an attempt to make her look bad in front of her Master."

The brunette smiled sweetly. "Just making sure our new roommate is up to par with our standards."

"Roommate?" She glanced over to the black-haired boy, who looked like a drowned rat. "I'm supposed to share a room with _that_?"

The brunette chuckled. "Alek isn't so bad once you get to know him. A tad arrogant, but it's easy to pinch through that." She smiled warmly at the newcomer and extended her hand. "I'm Meetra by the way. Meetra Surik."

Revan shook her hand. "I wish I could say it's nice meeting you, but seeing the way you treated me I have my reservations." She tried sounding hurt, but something about the two melted all her doubts and she could do nothing else but smile.

"Thing of the past," Meetra remarked. "We're all even; Alek got a wet suit for trying to pull a prank, I got a black face for ordering him to do so and you got a dirty robe for…"

"…absolutely no reason whatsoever."

"She's actually right Meet," Alek smirked. "You had no reason to assault her robe like that." He stepped towards the newcomer and extended his hand as well. "I for one accept my defeat with dignified pride. Alek Squinquargesimus, at your service."

"Come again?" Revan asked blankly.

"We all just call him Squint, to avoid breaking our tongues." Meetra smiled brightly.

Revan shook Alek's hand and smirked. "So how do we get our revenge on little Meet?"

Meetra took a step backwards. "You can't." She looked uncertainly at Alek. "Al, if you go through with this I promise you'll never have a peaceful night ever again."

Alek was taken aback by her words. "Err… guess I'll have to pass this time Revan. She might seem like an innocent little girl, but she's way too smart for her own good… and mine."

"Bummer, didn't think you'd cower away from a challenge." Her gaze shifted to the brunette and she gave her a predatory grin. "Guess I'll have to plan my revenge by myself then."

"I would've been seriously disappointed were your answer anything else," the brunette said brightly. "Just be aware I outrank you at the moment and I won't hesitate to use that against you."

"Wha… you're already a Padawan? But you're younger than me."

"Ten years old, but I promoted when I was nine," she answered proudly.

"But she was initiated when she was two, so it took her seven years to become Padawan," Alek pointed out. "Your five years of training is pretty impressive."

"Says the lazy bum who took nine years to promote. Alek started his training when he was three, but only promoted a month ago."

"Because I focused on things that matter," he countered in an annoyed voice. "Knowing history or politics won't matter in a life-or-death battle."

"Unless it helps you avoid that battle altogether," Meetra opposed hotly. "Force, you're dimwitted sometimes."

"Alright, enough," Revan said sternly as she stepped in between the quarreling duo. She couldn't suppress a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, because she realized she actually liked these two. They weren't like any of the meek and dull dimwits back at the Temple. "So what's the deal with me sharing a room with you two? Isn't it custom that the apprentice has the same quarters as the Master?"

"Not necessarily. Alek and I have shared a room ever since I got initiated. And your Master has decided you ought to share a room with us, so what are you gonna do?"

"Glad she has consulted me while making that decision," Revan said dryly.

"Like Masters ever care about what their students think," Alek snorted. "The entire Order is one big mess of bureaucracy and impenetrable hierarchy."

"But instead of studying hard to be able to make a change all you do is focus on the physical," Meetra admonished, although she didn't sound very harsh.

"Hey, you're the brains, I'm the brawn." He pointed at Revan. "And _you_…"

"The voice of reason?" Revan suggested with a smirk.

"We'll figure out a use for you," Meetra said fondly. She half turned on her heel. "Now come, we'll give you the tour."

Revan turned to Alek. "Is she actually ordering me around?" she asked, just to make sure.

"She does that," he shrugged. "Besides, she outranks you, so she sorta can."

"Then what's _your_ excuse?" the Initiate remarked, as the pair started following the bossy Padawan.

He leaned over to be able to whisper in her ear. "Let her think she's in charge. Trust me, it's better that way."

Revan wasn't about to submit to a two year younger girl, but she was interested enough to play along for a while. She realized she wouldn't mind hanging out with these two, a feeling she had never had for any of the kids in the Temple. She quickened her pace to catch up with the brunette. "So what's with the droid?" Meetra asked curiously, while shooting a sideways glance at the hovering orb that followed Revan around.

Revan gently stroked the cool metal, eyes faraway. "It's HK-43, a work in progress. One day it'll be an assassination droid." HK bleeped proudly.

"That's awesome!" Alek praised. "But a true assassination droid has to be bipedal, more accurate aim that way." He mimicked the stance of a soldier aiming a rifle.

"And it has to speak like a gentleman," Meetra giggled. "Assassins always use proper manners as a cover."

"Only in those flimsy stories you read," Alek snorted.

"They're romantic novels and they aren't flimsy," the girl huffed.

"Those are good ideas," Revan said quickly, before the two started fighting again. "Maybe those will be integrated in model HK-44." At that the droid bleeped sadly, causing the three to chuckle.

"So you actually built it yourself?" Meetra asked.

"Designed, built and programmed." The raven-haired initiate felt pride well up inside her as she watched her creation. Not every twelve year old could say she had built a completely functional utility droid. This version was equipped with a more powerful blaster unit and several appendixes to deal with locks and terminals.

"That's cool, maybe you really _are_ a genius. But I'm not going to trust the stories, not until I've seen more of your skills."

"Trusting stories is generally a bad idea," Revan commented. "In return I'll consider you as the average braggart until you prove you're actually worth listening to."

"Fair enough," Meetra smirked. They bumped fists and Revan could feel kinship to the girl. They smiled warmly at each other.

Revan's face fell when she saw her Master approaching them. "Ah, there you are Revan." Kreia walked up to the trio and regarded them for a moment. "Having fun?" she asked sternly.

Revan smirked sheepishly, she just knew the old hag was studying Alek's drenched robes and the black smear across Meetra's nose and on the front of her own robe. "Just getting to know my new roommates. Why am I sharing a room with them all of a sudden?"

"I thought you might like it. You're always such a secluded kid, never trying to make friends."

"Yeah, because the kids at the Jedi Temple are all dimwitted dumb nuts."

"Exaggerating as usual," Kreia admonished, but a tiny smile crept around her lips. "One or two of them should be given a bit more credit. No matter, I think you'll find Meetra and Alek up to par with your own level of education. Alek is a prodigy with the lightsaber, he was ten years old when he defeated his first Jedi Knight in a fair duel. Meetra is considered a tactical genius and likes spending her free time with the executive branch of the Order. Her insights often prove valuable."

Revan studied the pair with new eyes. "So these two _did_ achieve something worthwhile?" she grinned. "I thought they were all talk." Meetra folded her arms and huffed undignified, but didn't say anything. She seemed a bit afraid of the blind old Master.

"Quite the contrary," Kreia mused. "Their Masters also told me they have quite a knack for causing mischief." At that the duo tried to look innocent, but failed miserably. "The fact that their Masters are aware of this shows they have a knack for getting caught as well. Perhaps you could give them a few pointers from your own repertoire."

Now it was Revan's turn to look innocent. "What do you mean? I never caused any mischief."

A small, amused smile curled around Kreia's lips. "No? What about that time you stole Master Tcheraka's lightsaber and hid it at the roof of the Temple?"

"Wasn't me," Revan lied immediately, while trying to figure out how the old bat had caught her. Or why she hadn't been punished, for that matter.

"Or that time where you released an entire colony of gizka into the Temple. It took three months to get the last one out." Revan smiled sheepishly, she had thought the gizka were cute and had decided to use them to brighten up the Temple. She hadn't counted on the excessive reproduction rates of the little reptiles though. "Or all those times you snuck out of the Temple to explore Coruscant? Or all those times you nicked food out of the kitchens?"

"How do you know all of that?" Revan asked, both impressed and afraid of repercussions.

"How often do I have to tell you I'm not blind, despite the fact I've lost my eyesight?"

"Damn, and here I was thinking I did a pretty damn impressive job hiding my tracks," she grinned impishly.

"You did, I'm the only one who noticed it. Fooling a master of Force Sight is nigh impossible." Kreia studied her student intently for a moment, probably to make her sweat it a bit. Then she changed subjects like nothing bad had happened in the five years Revan had been her Initiate. "I've spoken with Master Zhar Lestin. Together we will prepare your Padawan Trial and judge your performance. It is planned one month from now."

"One month?" Revan exclaimed. "I thought I was ready, why do I have to wait a whole bloody month to get what I deserve to have right now?"

"Patience was never one of your strong fortes," the old Master reprimanded. "The Trial takes time to prepare. And Master Zhar wishes to spend some time with you beforehand, to get to know you better."

Revan folded her arms and huffed. "The Council is holding me back, I'm sure of it. I swear I could've been a Knight by now."

"Modesty is another trait you possess only sparsely."

"Since when is being proud of your abilities arrogance?" the Initiate demanded to know.

"Ever since your pride took away your common sense and respect for your Master." Kreia's tone had become sharp like a razor. "Patience and restraint are what define a Jedi. Observe and learn from your surroundings and draw your conclusions from that. You know I have trained countless students, just like Master Zhar. When the both of us say you need a bit more time before your promotion, you ought to realize there's wisdom in our words, not a drive to slow down your progress or nark you."

Revan realized her Master was correct. "I'm sorry Master," she said humbly. "I was too hasty, I shall reflect on your words and try to improve."

"Good." Kreia turned to leave. "The three of you have the rest of the day off so you can get acquainted to each other and the enclave. And please get some clean robes on, you're making an awful impression." With that the old Master was gone.

Revan turned back to her new partners and found them looking astounded. "Your Master is scary," Alek said, sounding more impressed than frightened.

"So let me get this straight, did she just encourage us to break the rules?" Meetra asked like she had just won the lottery.

"Hmm, not really. But she doesn't seem to discourage it either. She has this thing for self-education. You'll never learn until you burn your fingers." Her eyes suddenly sparked mischievously. "And she seems to like to stir things up, challenge authority. So who are we to disappoint her?"

"Your Master sure is a lot cooler than ours," Meetra said with a massive grin. "Not a spot of humor in them."

"Still scary though," Alek added, also grinning.

"Coward!"

"Am not!"

"Not this again," Revan groaned as she stepped in between the two. "I thought you two were friends?"

"We are," Meetra grinned. "Pointing out the painful truth is what friends do, right?" Revan shook her head, but the brunette didn't give her time to respond. "Anyway, time to give you the grand tour… after we've been to our room to get a change of clothes." She grabbed Revan by the arm and pulled her with her. It was only two hallways later she realized she allowed herself being led. A corner later it dawned to her she didn't really mind, not by Meetra.

* * *

That evening Revan was lying in her new bed, in her new room. Meetra and Alek had already fallen asleep in the beds next to hers. The small room they used was as Spartan as the one she had on Coruscant. It had three beds, three desks to work on, a big closet they had to share and a tiny bathroom attached. Alek used the bed closest to the door, while Meetra had taken the one in the far back, leaving Revan to take the one in the middle.

Today had been a good day. Meetra and Alek had shown her around the entire training complex. It was basically a smaller version of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, but with all facilities necessary to warrant proper education for its students. Revan actually liked the fact it was smaller, somehow it felt more welcoming, more like… home. Maybe it was the mood, things were more relaxed and less uptight here. Or maybe she just felt that way because of her new friends.

Yes, she called Meetra and Alek friends. Funny really, how quickly she had connected with them, considering she had never trusted anyone enough to let them close. But these two were different. They were both smart and kind and had been very warm to her, very welcoming. They had slipped past all her defenses without raising an alarm. Revan had learned to trust her senses, so she had deducted she could really trust these two.

Alek acted like the typical boy. He had a loud mouth and was very boastful. But after sparring with him in the training grounds she had found out he had a lot to boast about, he was just _that_ good. If Revan hadn't cheated and used a quick Force push on him she'd probably have lost. He wasn't all arrogance though, underneath that was a very kind and protective guy. A bit like a big brother, looking after his two sisters. It was actually adorable, the way he tried his best to be chivalrous and coolheaded at the same time.

Meetra was a completely different story. What she lacked in height and strength she made up with her attitude and intelligence. In that regard she was similar to Revan, she knew exactly how to manipulate people to get what she wanted. But she was also kind, very kind. She had taken to Revan immediately and made it no secret she liked her new roommate, showering her with hugs and kind words. This kind of affection was completely new to her, but she had to admit she quite liked it. It was also the first person of her own age she could have an intelligent conversation with.

She sighed contently and nestled herself deeper in the warm bed. In a single day she had found the home and the friends she never had before. Only bummer was the lack of Knight Atris' stories and the smaller library. She chuckled to herself, perhaps it was time to find a different hobby. Or perhaps she would find a different Master to pester with questions. This Zhar Lestin bloke seemed to be on the same level as Kreia when it came to tutoring students, maybe she should unleash her charms on him to pry loose some of his knowledge.

The soft snores of her new friends slowly diminished the thoughts that kept jumping around her mind. Under the watchful eye of HK-43 she fell in a deep, content sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** _Major thanks to Yuri-Hime-Chan for helping out getting the timeline right and bouncing some ideas off. Also thanks everyone who dropped a review._

_Writing this was surprisingly fun. I have much more ideas for a whole slew of wacky and mischievous adventures for these three, but I decided to keep to the essentials to avoid clogging up the main story. Maybe one day I'll make a separate story about Revan's younger years, there's certainly enough content to fill a novel._


	18. Master and Apprentice

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter One**

**Master and Apprentice**

* * *

"To summarize you've made one big mess of your mission." Trust Master Vrook to make a bad day even worse. "Getting captured by mere gangsters and then relying on a simple marine to make your escape, you should be ashamed of yourself."

"Believe me when I say I am," Bastila said through gritted teeth.

"Come now, Master Vrook," Master Vandar soothed. "It was an unfortunate chain of events that led to the capture of young Knight Bastila, and young Xana Grey isn't exactly a simple marine. Bastila has nothing to be ashamed of."

She didn't know what was worse, Vrook's patronizing insults or Vandar's fatherly comforts. It made her feel incompetent either way. Recounting the events on Taris to the members of the Dantooine Jedi Enclave Council had been painful and draining, certainly after a night that had been haunted by Taris' destruction and a new vision of Revan.

"What I would like to know is how we were unaware of the presence of the Sith fleet around Taris," Master Dorak said thoughtfully. "Didn't the reports say Taris' space was largely free from Sith occupation, Master Vrook?"

"They did," the old man said gruffly. "I will get to the bottom of this."

"The mission hasn't been a complete failure," Master Zhar remarked. "At least we now know all of Revan's skill and intellect has been preserved within Xana Grey, as well as her frightening strong connection to the Force."

"Without those our young knight probably wouldn't stand here," Vrook said with a voice full of contempt.

Bastila's jaw clenched, she was quickly growing tired of his insults. If only she had Xana's fearless attitude towards her superiors… "I'm tremendously grateful for Xana's efforts." She had to force the words out, not because she didn't mean them – quite the contrary – but because she didn't want to give in to Vrook. Unfortunately her position as knight was at risk as it was; insulting a Council Master would probably seal her fate.

"Enough of this," Master Zhar said sharply to his colleague. "Bastila, please tell us what you found out about Xana Grey."

"To be quite frank she confuses me," Bastila answered, glad for the change of subjects. "I always thought her mind had been reprogrammed, but Xana Grey is so much like Revan it seems like nothing has changed at all. I have seen very little of Revan of course, so my perception might be off, but there seems to be no difference between these two women, at least not when it comes to personality, attitude and morals."

The Masters looked at each other, seemingly to contemplate quietly on how much they would tell her. It was Dorak who took the word. "Reprogramming a mind is not something done lightly. The technique is very advanced and has a high chance of failure. Master Atris deemed it too dangerous to perform on Revan and opted for a complete memory block instead of attempting to alter her mind, avoiding the risk of fully wiping her memories."

"That's very noble," Bastila commented icily. "Going out of your way to protect your arch enemy. Or perhaps there were other reasons for your mercy?"

Again an uncomfortable silence. "There lies much wisdom in Revan's head, which had to be preserved" It was Vrook who decided to tell her the harsh truth. "The vision you shared with her – the memory of Revan and Malak in those ruins – proves just that. This is the first time we got a clue about the actual source of the Sith's seemingly endless resources."

"So you're going to exploit Xana to hunt down this source?" the brunette demanded hotly.

"What other choice do we have?" Vrook countered just as fiercely. "You've seen war, you've seen the unstoppable march of the Sith Empire, you've seen the horrors it inflicts on people. Don't you want to take this chance to stop that?"

"Have you got any idea what you've done to her?" Bastila spat. "You stripped away her memories, her knowledge and her future, leaving her to rot in that prison. You plunged her in a depression so deep she decided to take way her own life! Such an act is a violation to the very nature of a human being, certainly for someone as strong-willed as Xana."

"We deeply regret what has happened to her," Vandar said, sorrow deep in his voice. "We underestimated the psychological trauma it inflicted on her and it has caused much grief."

"But after that we've given her the opportunity of living a normal life," Vrook countered. "More than she deserves, if you ask me."

"What do you mean, more than she deserves? You can't blame Revan's mistakes on Xana! She's a completely different person, she has nothing to do with either the Mandalorian Wars or the Jedi Civil Wars. She doesn't deserve this."

"It seems to me your love for the Dark Lord is still clouding your judgment," Vrook spat.

_How dare he? _"I have my feelings for this woman tightly under control, thank you very much," Bastila fumed, fighting the urge to slap the self-righteous bigot in the face.

"Enough," Zhar interrupted, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. "Master Vrook, we have already established Bastila has no intentions of giving in to the feelings she has for this woman."

"Feelings so wrong and forbidden they should never have bloomed to begin with." The words hit Bastila like daggers, leaving her feel betrayed. She couldn't believe the supposedly wise Master truly had that opinion.

"I said enough!" Zhar said sternly. "Falling in love happens, even to Jedi. We're as vulnerable to nature as any other mortal. The way we deal with it is what sets us apart. Bastila is handling this much better than most Jedi who go through the same ordeal, so show some respect."

"I apologize," Vrook said through gritted teeth.

"Apology accepted," Bastila said just as gruffly, meaning just as much of her words as Vrook did. "So what are your plans with Xana? Are you going to let her run around untrained, hoping useful memories will pop up whenever you require them?"

Dorak shook his head thoughtfully. "That would be unwise. Judging from your story the true Revan already surfaced once, in the mansion of the Exchange boss. It could potentially be very dangerous were this to happen again, both to herself as to her surroundings."

"Not to mention it could lead Xana to deduct her true identity," Vandar added. "She is intelligent, in the end she would realize the truth. It might be cruel, but Revan must never reawaken."

"It would be best if Xana was instructed in the ways of the Jedi again," Zhar said. "It would avoid such questions and give her better protection against the dark side. Protection she'll surely need when we allow her to retrace Revan and Malak's steps."

"You're speaking out of turn," Vrook grumbled. "We haven't agreed on this yet."

"What do you mean with retracing their steps?" Bastila asked curiously. "Exploring these ruins from our vision?"

"That information is given strictly on a need to know basis."

"Master Vrook, I think Bastila has a right to know." Master Vandar spoke with great authority, overruling the old human's words. "She has developed a strong Force Bond with Xana Grey, the woman who used to be Revan. She has already played a large part in the Jedi Civil Wars, not in the least by bringing the defeated Revan safely under our care. I am sure she will be a key figure in resolving this war, this vision is proof of that."

"She and Xana Grey both," Zhar added.

"Very well," Vrook admitted, before turning to the Knight. "After the Mandalorian Wars Revan and Malak travelled known space for a while. They were searching for something of great power, your vision confirms that. Malak called it the S_tar Forge_. We don't know the details, but we believe this is the source of the Sith's endless recourses. If we could use Revan's memories to trace this Star Forge we could potentially end this war."

Bastila cocked an eyebrow. "So you're sending us on a wild-goose chase? Is there actually any prove this star forge is the source, or that we can track it this way?"

"There is not," Vandar said. "We are hoping the ruins here on Dantooine will give us more clues. Perhaps more memories will surface, hopefully giving more insight in the planets they visited and the information they uncovered. Retracing this journey will be your new mission, together with Xana. But we will not send Xana unprepared, we will train her into a Padawan first so she stands a better chance against the dangers you'll face."

"Not so fast," Vrook interrupted. "I want to see this woman first before we're making any decisions."

"Yes, that's my opinion too," Zhar agreed. "See what we have to work with."

"You're working with Revan," Bastila answered. "The same Revan, except untrained and with a wild connection to the Force. The connection is so strong, sometimes it's difficult to perceive Xana and the Force as two different entities."

"That sounds just like Revan," Dorak said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Let's hope Xana is just as gifted as Revan once was."

"We shall see," Vandar said. "Bastila, please bring Xana before the Council."

* * *

Xana was having a bad, bad day. First she had gotten a new vision about Revan, which had basically scared the living daylight out of her. Then she woke up feeling like she was having a massive hangover, with Mission curled up in the corner of the room refusing to speak, Zaalbar hitting himself over the head because Mission was ignoring him, Carth being convinced that the entire world was against him and Canderous Ordo being… well, Mandalorian.

Bastila had already rushed off to speak to the Jedi Council, meaning she had no one to discuss her troubles with. The destruction of Taris still pressed heavily on her, but it was coupled with the nervousness of facing the Council's judgment soon. She really wanted to become a Jedi now she knew she was Force sensitive. Not only would it give her a new goal in her miserable, little life, it also meant she'd become an elite warrior, the one person who was always in control. No more submitting to inmates or guards, no more licking the boots of the Republic navy brass, pure independence. Sure, she would have to answer to the Jedi Council, but she knew Jedi Knights had a lot of freedom.

There was a lot of nagging going on in her head though. First of all she didn't even know if the Council would allow her to become a Jedi, considering her age. Twenty-nine years was generally considered too old for a human to start, she had read somewhere human younglings were usually taken between two and six years old, give or take a year or so.

She forced herself to smirk confidently, too old her ass. She felt like she was in the prime of her life. Fitter than most marines of her age. Every morning she did her routine faithfully, sit-ups, crunches, pull-ups, jogging... Her muscles were flat, hard as a rock and strong, her endurance and stamina were top-notch. She'd defeat any Jedi Master in a bout of wrestling every day.

But what truly bothered was her history, as it always did. She had been a scoundrel… okay. A very intelligent and gifted scoundrel… sure, why not? A scoundrel that had no problem dealing with locks, terminals, explosives or even building droids… so far so good, all useful skills for a criminal. A scoundrel that could speak, write and understand practically every language in the galaxy… highly improbable. Huttese, Basic and Binary… okay. Shyriiwook… maybe. Cragii, Catharese or Snee… not so much. There was simply no reason for a scoundrel to be fluent in those languages, or the dozens of other languages she knew.

And then there was the latest revelation, the icing on the fucking cake. Force sensitive. _Extremely_ Force sensitive, if she should trust Bastila and the gothic Sith bloke she had met on Taris. Her pre-amnesiac self had never noticed it, otherwise she would've knocked on the Jedi Temple's door to ask for Jedi training, she was sure of that. And the Jedi Order hadn't noticed it either, for twenty-seven years she had been able to run around the galaxy without them either recruiting her or hunting her down.

She just couldn't imagine her old self wasting her potential by doing subpar criminal jobs. Xana was ambitious... Alright, overambitious… Alright, overambitious to a flaw… big deal. She always aimed for the top, never settled for anything less than the best. It was not so much that she felt superior to everyone else, but rather she had an urge to exploit the gifts nature had given her to raise herself above the average Joe. So why would her pre-amnesiac self be a lousy scoundrel? It just didn't make sense. Did that explosion to her head mingle with her brain so much that she had become a completely different person?

"Xana?" Bastila's soft voice shook her out of her thoughts, the Jedi had entered the room without her noticing. "The Council has summoned you, they wish to speak to you."

"Bastila. How did it go?"

The brunette sighed deeply. "Dealing with the Council reminds me why I prefer being out in the field." She urged Xana to get up. "Come on, best not keep them waiting."

Xana followed Bastila out of the _Ebon Hawk_ and into the enclave. The new world she found herself in seemed pleasant, welcoming. But she had other things on her mind to fully appreciate it. "I know you have a problem with authority, but I'd suggest you be at your best behavior. The Council isn't like the brass."

"If you think I'm going to lick their fucking boots you're…"

"I'm not suggesting that at all," Bastila interrupted snappily. "Just behave. That's an order."

Xana's jaw snapped shut at the resoluteness of the knight. "Fine," she huffed, wondering why she didn't give the woman a piece of her mind.

"I'm doing this for your own protection, Xana." Her words had become a bit gentler, but still possessed strong authority.

"I know," she admitted, because she did. They continued walking in silence. When they reached the large doors leading to the council chambers they eyed each other. If Bastila was nervous she showed no signs of it, she even gave her an encouraging smile. Xana was glad the experienced knight was with her. She gave her a nod and headed through the door.

* * *

The Jedi Council was seated in a large, circular chamber, almost arena-like in both shape and size. It was lined with ancient looking chairs, currently unoccupied. The only occupants of the room were four Jedi, clad in the robes of their order. They introduced themselves as masters, meaning they had achieved the highest rank possible within their order.

The balding white human man with grey hair intruded himself as Vrook Lamar. The completely bald human man with dark skin introduced himself as Dorak. The male Twi'lek with reddish skin was Zhar Lestin. Finally, a shriveled up creature strongly resembling a frog that went by the name of Vandar Tokare. After Xana had introduced herself as lieutenant for the Republic navy the pleasantries were over.

"Bastila has relayed the events that have taken place on Taris and the large part you played in her rescue," Master Vandar said. "First and foremost we would like to extend our gratitude to you for saving a member of our Order."

"I rescued her because she was my commanding officer and because I promised to protect her," Xana answered gruffly. "The possible gratefulness of her Order had nothing to do with that decision."

"We have summoned you here because Knight Shan has recognized you as an individual with a strong connection to the Force." It was the old Master Vrook who had taken the word, unfazed by her rude declination of their gratitude. "She also claims the two of you have developed a Force Bond and that you share visions during the night. Is this true?"

"It is," she answered curtly.

"Knight Shan claims you shared such a vision just this night." Xana looked in surprise to Bastila, they hadn't been able to speak about it yet, but apparently she had had the same dream. "Could you please describe this dream fully, without leaving out any detail?"

She shifted nervously on her feet. "Err… your name was Vrook Lamar, was it not?"

"It is, what is the problem?"

"Maybe it would be best if I left out… certain details," she said carefully, Bastila's order to behave fresh in mind.

"The entire dream, Miss Grey." He sounded impatient. Xana glanced quickly at Bastila, who gave her an encouraging nod, the amused, anticipating twinkle in her eyes betraying she knew exactly what was coming. The lieutenant took this as her cue to tell the full, uncensored story and a confident smirk grew on her face.

* * *

_Dark Lord Revan and her apprentice Malak were standing in an ancient ruin. Ancient symbols lined the grey, old walls, which had been surprisingly well-preserved. In front of the duo was a large, black door. Revan was pacing in front of the door, lost in deep thought, clad in her dark robes and blood-red mask. Malak was standing beside the door, watching his master._

"_The dark side is strong in this place," Malak said, while breathing in deeply. "I can feel its power!"_

"_What did you expect?" Revan asked, sounding muffled through her mask. "We both knew the true nature of the Star Forge." She turned to the door, looking for a way to open it._

"_Is this wise? The ancient Jedi sealed this archway." The bald Jedi Knight sounded weary, afraid of whatever they might face beyond the door._

"_The ancient Jedi were afraid of the dark side, just like the current ones." Despise lay thick in her voice. "I'm just as afraid of the dark side as I am of the light side. Both are tools to be used to our advantage. As long as we're able to resist giving in to any of them completely we'll be fine."_

"_If we pass beyond this door, we can never go back," Malak interjected. "The Order will surely banish us."_

"_We are already banished. Going to the Mandalorian Wars sealed our fate, thanks to that asshole Vrook Lamar." She smashed a fist into the door, needing a way to vent her anger. "God damn it, the son of a bitch is so fucking close, yet we can't go into the enclave to sort him out. Self-righteous motherfucker…"_

_The vision faded for a second. When the images returned the two had managed to open the door and were walking deeper into the ruins. Malak looked visibly shaken, like something terrible had just happened. "Are the secrets of the Star Forge so valuable? Can its power truly be worth the risk?"_

"_If I didn't think they were I wouldn't be here. Have a little faith in your 'Dark Lord'." She used air quotes on her title and the sarcasm almost visibly dripped from her words._

* * *

"Revan didn't seem to like you very much, Master Vrook," Xana said sweetly after she had told them the entire vision. Vrook shot her an angry glare, but Masters Zhar and Dorak seemed almost amused. "Believe me when I say I wanted to filter out the profanity, but I didn't want to disobey a direct order." She smiled innocently.

"Yes, thank you," Vrook answered darkly.

"It is clear you two have shared the same vision," Master Zhar said, still with that amused smile around his lips.

"Yes, thanks to our Force Bond. I would like to know why." She folded her arms and looked at the Council expectantly, determined to get some answers. "Why the Bond, why the visions?"

"You and Bastila share a powerful connection to the Force… and each other. This is not unheard of; connections often form between master and apprentice." Master Zhar scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"But Bastila and I aren't exactly master and apprentice," Xana countered. "In fact I didn't even know I was Force sensitive until just yesterday. Am I to believe a Force Bond – which takes generally years to develop between master and apprentice – formed in just the few weeks we've been working together?"

"That seems to be the case," Master Vandar answered. "The Force is acting through you, as it acts in Bastila. It looks like it is guiding you on a path."

"And which path would that be, exactly?"

"You and she are linked, as is your fate to hers. Together, you two may be able to stop Darth Malak and the Sith."

Xana snorted. "I'm sorry, but are you implying a sorry criminal such as me is supposed to be able to stop Dark Malak? I mean, I can understand why the Force would pick Knight Shan, she's perhaps the most gifted individual of your entire Order." Bastila shifted on her feet, clearly grateful for her words. Xana was trying to protect her friend from any negative thoughts the Council might hold to her. "But me? No way."

"You're giving yourself too little credit," Master Dorak said. "We have read your file of the Republic and Bastila's story of the events on Taris tells us enough. You're both intelligent and skilled, if you were instructed in the ways of the Jedi you could become an exceptional Knight."

"_If_ I were instructed. But I'm too old, aren't I?"

"We have been studying your special case," Master Zhar said. "You're strong in the Force, extremely strong. It would be unwise to let you remain untrained. It could be potentially harmful to both yourself and your surroundings."

"I still don't understand why the Force took me and Bastila, bonded us together and then starts sending us vague visions to send us after our arch nemesis." She turned to the woman with half a smirk. "I mean, normally I'd thank the Force on my naked knees for bonding me to such a beautiful, skilled woman, but in this case…" Bastila blushed a bit and Vrook grumbled something inaudibly, clearly disapproving.

"The Force works in mysterious ways," Master Vandar said simply.

"Oh, for _fuck's_ sake!"

"Watch your language Xana," Bastila shot angrily.

"Sorry Bastila, but that's about the lamest thing I've ever heard."

"It is the truth," Vandar continued, unfazed by her sudden outburst. "We still do not understand most of the Force and it keeps surprising us every day. I am sorry we cannot give you a satisfying answer to your question, but the Force has given us an opportunity to defeat Malak. We must not let this opportunity go to waste."

The bombardment of Taris flashed through her mind, Mission's heartbroken face as she was forced to accept the death of Zaerdra, Zaalbar's ragged attempts to put his emotions into words, Carth's complete collapse as the cruel truth about his family's death was presented to him. These Jedi were giving her a chance to go after Malak, to stop these atrocities. Although every fiber of her mind screamed caution, she just couldn't let this chance slip.

"Alright," she finally breathed. Her bright green eyes flashed determinately to Master Vandar. "Let's say I can muster up the faith to believe your 'The Force has a plan for you'-story. How will these visions lead us to the defeat of Malak?"

"We are losing this war Xana," Master Vandar said solemnly. "The Sith command an endless army and more and more fall for their teachings every day, even Jedi from our own Order. It strengthens them and weakens us. Your vision gives us a clue about the source of their power: the Star Forge."

"The object they were looking for in the vision," Xana muttered thoughtfully. "Do you have any idea what this Star Forge might be?"

"No, but the vision clearly suggests it is tied directly to the dark side of the Force and the name implies it can be used to create things. While we don't know the true nature of it, we _did_ recognize the ruins from the vision. They are here on Dantooine."

"Those ruins have long been known to us, but we believed them to be merely burial mounds," Master Dorak added. "Perhaps they are more than we first suspected, if Revan and Malak found anything interesting there."

"The Force has guided you and Bastila there, so it is only natural that you two will have to investigate the ruins, in search for clues of the nature and location of this so-called Star Forge."

"But as we said, we can't let you go untrained," Zhar added gravely. "We will instruct you in the ways of the Jedi."

"Not so fast," Vrook interjected. "Can we be sure this woman will walk the path of the light side? She is brash and impatient, the very traits that led to the downfall of Revan and plunged us into this war to begin with."

"I will accept your teachings and make them my own," Xana lied smoothly. She wasn't about to submit to the teachings of an ancient group of stuck-up nobles, but if she had to convince these guys she'd do just that, so be it. "I'm not Revan, last time I checked. Besides, I'd make a terrible dictator," she grinned.

"Your jest is in bad taste," Vrook reprimanded ominously. "You've seen the billions of lives lost due to the cruelties of the Sith."

Xana folded her arms. "How that has anything to do with me deludes me. Like I said, I'm not Revan and I'm certainly not Malak." She turned to address the rest of the Council. "Look gentlemen, the way I see it this is your last desperate attempt to stop the unstoppable Sith Empire. It's clear to me you've depleted all your other options, otherwise you wouldn't send a sorry criminal such as me after the Dark Lord of the Sith. I'm willing to risk my life for this effort, because frankly you've allowed the Sith too much atrocities already."

"Unbelievable." Vrook shook his head. "You're blaming this war on us now."

"You can either give me this chance – a chance that was destined by the Force, as you so nicely put it – or you can let it slip and beg Lord Malak for mercy when he comes knocking on your door."

"We must take this chance," Master Vandar said. "The threat of the Sith Empire is much larger and imminent than the threat of Xana falling to the dark side."

Zhar nodded. "I agree. The events on Taris show that Xana is a woman who can get things done. I'm in favor of her going through the Jedi training and allowing her to investigate the Star Forge."

"I concur," Master Dorak said.

"It seems I am outvoted three to one," Vrook grumbled. "Very well, I trust in the wisdom of my colleagues."

"In that case I have a request to make," Bastila suddenly said. She had been studying the ongoing conversation with keen interest. "I wish to be Xana's master." Five faces looked at her in surprise.

"You?" Master Vrook asked incredulously. "But you have no experience in these matters?"

"I have not, but isn't tutoring students a Jedi's duty as well? Isn't it something I must learn?" She glanced at Xana, who gave her an encouraging and grateful nod. "Considering the Force Bond I think it's prudent I'll be the one to train her."

"Your abhorrent performance on Taris had made it clear it's far too early for you to take such responsibilities," Vrook said angrily.

"While I do not agree with Master Vrook's choice of words, I do agree Taris has shown you need more time to mature." Master Dorak's words were more softly, but no less painful.

Xana's mouth fell open in disbelief and she looked at Bastila, expecting the knight to defend herself fiercely. To her surprise and dismay the Knight merely hung her head in shame. "Now wait just a second," the lieutenant said loudly. "Abhorrent performance? Have any of your masters got any idea what you're talking about?"

"We actually do," Vrook countered. "Bastila told us herself, she let herself be captured by petty gangsters and had to be rescued by you, a mere marine."

Xana glanced at Bastila to see her face contorted in shame. "So your conclusion is Bastila herself is to blame for all this?" she demanded. "Your conclusion is Bastila has suddenly become an incompetent child. Suddenly all those victories she achieved in the Jedi Civil Wars – including the defeat of Lord Revan – mean nothing?"

"A Jedi Knight is always in control," Vrook grumbled. "Relinquishing that control to a group of peasants is a sign of incompetence, yes."

"Then let me tell you this: I would be the first to lay the blame by my commanding officer, even if he or she only half deserves it. But Bastila doesn't deserve being blamed at all, because she did nothing wrong. We didn't know Malak had parked his fleet around Taris. _You_ should've known that, before sending us into a deathtrap."

"We will run a full investi…" Vrook started to interrupt her, but Xana didn't allow him.

"Silence! I am not done talking." Her words were spoken with such vigor and her stance and green eyes radiated so much authority that he actually fell silent, surprising everyone in the room. "Our ship was destroyed before any of us could do anything, escaping in a pod was our only remaining option. Bastila was incapacitated by nastily banging her head when her pod crashed down on Taris. How could anyone defend himself against that?" She turned to Vrook. "Unless you have a very thick skull of course…"

The insult lingered between them and his stance and face betrayed his anger, but he gave no audible reaction. "An incapacitated woman stands no chance against a gang, Jedi Knight or not. And from the moment she was freed she proved herself to be a knight among knights. The reason we were able to acquire a ship and escape Taris alive? Bastila Shan. She saved my life so many times it has left a debt so big it can't be repaid in a single lifetime. She defeated a gang leader with an active neural disruptor on her head, for crying out loud. If that doesn't show character and determination I don't know what does."

She finally turned to Bastila, who was torn between gratefulness and shame. "And you! I don't know what happened to the proud knight I worked with, but snap out of it already. These men have no right to trample over you like they did, even if they are your superiors. You're strong, powerful and smart and you shouldn't allow them talking you down for mistakes you didn't make."

To her satisfaction she saw resolve growing behind the steel of Bastila's eyes. The knight inclined her head gratefully, barely visible, and turned to the Council. She folded her hands behind her back and stood as straight as an arrow, radiating pride and confidence. "Masters, I believe I have contributed enough to the Order to be allowed this opportunity. Unless the Council can put forward sufficient evidence against my competence I suggest I am given this chance. Considering the Force Bond I'm the most suitable candidate."

Xana smiled slightly, glad that the woman had found her old self. Bastila's words were spoken with such determination that it allowed zero contradiction. The Masters looked at Zhar for his opinion. "I, for one, think this is an excellent idea," the Twi'lek said with a proud smile. "Bastila has always been an outstanding Jedi, who'll no doubt train many successful apprentices in the years to come. This is the perfect moment to start honing those skills. The Force Bond will also make it considerably more easy."

He glanced at the other Masters, who nodded in agreement. Even Vrook gave his blessing, although more reluctantly. "Very well, Xana Grey shall be your apprentice. Master Vandar and I will keep a close eye on your progress and will aid you wherever we can, but she is your responsibility."

"Thank you for your trust masters." Bastila bowed gracefully. "There's one last matter. Two children escaped with us from Taris. They have lost everything yesterday, is there any chance they can get temporary shelter in the enclave?"

"A sad story," Master Vandar said in his fatherly manner. "The enclave shall be a safe haven for them, we will provide shelter, food and perhaps even some education. They can do chores around the enclave as a symbolic way of repayment."

"Thank you master, that is more than I could've hoped for."

* * *

"What happened back there?" Xana wanted to know from Bastila, as they were making their way back to the _Ebon Hawk_ to inform their companions about the latest developments. "Why did you allow them to say all those lies about you?"

"I… it was Master Vrook," Bastila admitted. "I allowed his cruel words to get to me. He managed to uncover my insecurities and used them against me, convincing me the outcome of our mission was purely my mistake."

"Except that it wasn't," Xana countered firmly.

"I know, now that you've told me." The brunette heaved a deep sigh and sat down on a bench in a circular patio in the center of the enclave. "I was taken to be a Jedi when I was five years old. For the next nineteen years I've been constantly told to respect the words of the masters."

"Brainwashed, more likely." Xana sat down next to the knight and placed a hand on her knee. "But even masters can make mistakes and Vrook was clearly wrong. You're an exceptional knight."

Bastila looked in her eyes. "Yes, I am," she said proudly, making it clear she was back to her old self. "Thanks for snapping me out of my trance of self-pity."

The fresh initiate smiled warmly. "I should be the one thanking you, for everything you've done for me. You didn't take me as your apprentice for yourself, did you? You did it for me."

The knight allowed herself a tiny smile. "Xana, you'd never accept anyone but me as your mentor. You'd never accept an order or a reprimand, unless they came from me. It won't do anyone any good if you were kicked out of the enclave after a week for insubordination or offending a master."

"Heh, if Master Vrook were to be my master I probably wouldn't even last a week," Xana smirked.

Bastila nodded once. "That's why this is best for all of us."

"But I know the true reason why you wanted me to be your apprentice," the initiate said with a lewd grin, causing Bastila to cock an eyebrow. "You want to hear me call you _master_." The last word was nearly purred, but unfortunately it didn't have the desired effect, because Bastila merely rolled her eyes.

"You just _had _to make that joke right?"

"We both know it was imminent," Xana shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

"Fine, you can contemplate on this little thing called respect when you're sleeping on the floor tonight." She gave her a meaningful look. "Without blanket or pillow."

Xana's face fell. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Dead," Bastila confirmed.

"Damn," the initiate groaned. "This is going to be harder than I imagined."

"Yes," the knight agreed earnestly. "It's going to be difficult and intense for both of us. For the coming months we'll be spending most of our time together. I know you're a hard worker and so am I, so let's do this together."

"If I don't vomit at least once a week from exhaustion I'll hold you personally responsible."

The brunette shook her head and sighed. "I wonder how much will be left of those boastful words a few weeks from now. I do commend you for your spirit though, I must say it's heartening."

"Anything for you," Xana smiled, becoming more serious. "You're a good person. Not only did you take care of me, you did the same for Mission and Zaalbar. I really appreciate that."

"They don't deserve any of this," Bastila answered with a sad look in her silver eyes. "Least I could do for them was offering them a temporary home."

"I'm glad that you care," the initiate said softly.

Bastila smiled at her and gave her an assuring squeeze in the shoulder. "I could hardly leave the responsibility of two children on the shoulders of a tough-as-nails marine," she joked.

"I'm sure it's a real reassurance for them my responsibility will be shared with a cold-as-ice Jedi Knight," Xana grinned playfully.

"What was that I heard? You want to spend _two_ nights sleeping on the floor?"

The initiate quickly held up her hands. "I take back my words!"

Bastila chuckled. "Atta girl." She got to her feet, face turning serious. "Let's return to the _Ebon Hawk_. There's a lot to discuss and even more to do."


	19. First Steps

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Two**

**First Steps**

* * *

Perhaps the most difficult part of the Jedi training was the meditation. How was she supposed to sit still for hours, emptying her mind, when there was so much to learn, so much to do? Every day was filled with interesting lessons, most from Bastila, but some from Zhar and Vandar as well. Every evening she was supposed to clear her mind and enter a meditational trance, but she had a hard time achieving it, let alone maintaining it.

Her mind was simply bogged with all new information the enclave kept throwing at her. Bastila bound her to a tight schedule to be able to get the most out of their days. Xana woke up in the morning to do her regular routine she had picked up in the navy: various exercises like crunches, pushups and lunges, followed by an hour of jogging through the grasslands around the enclave. After a quick shower and an extensive breakfast her lessons began.

There was an incredible amount of things to learn. There was the lightsaber combat, where she tried to master the blue training lightsaber she had been given. For now she focused on the third lightsaber form, Soresu, which was the defensive form. When she had sufficiently mastered it she would expand it with the fifth form, Shien, which added powerful counterattacks on top of the near immortality of Soresu's tight defense.

The reason she took the defensive form was her natural affinity to the Force. They had quickly discovered she was very adept with the various powers that could be derived from the Force. Healing, manipulating objects, affecting minds, combat attacks… the possibilities were almost endless and Xana was determined to learn them all. Her strong connection to the Force allowed her to tap from it with little effort, meaning she could deploy it in battle without excessively tiring herself. The Force could be deadly in battle, perhaps even more deadly than a lightsaber could ever be.

Then there were the theoretical lessons. Studying the Jedi Code, politics, strategy and tactics, history and more. Xana followed them with mixed interest, some she adored, others she despised. All were required for her promotion to Padawan, so she studied hard to pass all of the tests, even the ones she didn't like. She wouldn't let it get her down, not now everyone was watching her with such high expectations.

"There is no emotion, there is peace."

Bastila's stern but soft voice reached her ears, reprimanding her for not clearing her mind as she was supposed to. The brunette had been tough on her, extremely tough. Mistakes were harshly punished and she was always pushed to go beyond her limits. At times her master could be almost cruel, but it was exactly what Xana needed. The speed at which she picked up new things meant she quickly lost interest, so she required a constant stream of challenges to keep her sharp. Both of them knew this and Bastila wasted no opportunity to overwhelm her with workload. Xana was incredibly grateful the knight didn't go easy on her.

It had been almost three months since her training started. The Republic had reluctantly given their lieutenant away to the Order, they never easily parted with promising marines. But declining the wishes of the Council was simply not done, so their permission had been given nonetheless. Xana still had to smile when thinking back on her last conversation with Coleman, the rear admiral she had served under.

* * *

"_Grey my girl! What have my ears been hearing? You actually seduced the Jedi woman and tricked her into inviting you in her Order?" The holographic rear admiral was jovial as always, the laughing lines in his face deep as he watched his lieutenant with twinkling eyes._

"_Other way around, in fact," the initiate smirked. "I'd rather continue serving under the spineless Republic navy brass, but the pleading voice of Knight Shan is like a siren's call to me."_

"_She must be quite something, if she managed to ensnare you and turn you into an obedient little girl." He barked a loud laugh from the ridiculousness of his own statement._

_A lopsided grin curled around Xana's lips. "Did you hit your head or something? Hell would freeze over before I took the order of some stuck-up Jedi Knight. But I must say the prospect of becoming a knight myself is much more appealing than having your piss-poor position to look forward to."_

"_Indeed, dealing with disobedient, foul-mouthed lieutenants is about as fun as gouging out your eyes with a screwdriver."_

"_It would mercifully save you from seeing their ugly mugs though. Maybe you should consider going along with that plan."_

_Coleman laughed again. "Damn Grey, I'm going to miss you. Things won't be the same without you."_

_Xana became more serious. "Hate to admit it, but I'm going to miss you too. You're a good friend, without you I would've never had this chance right now. I can never repay you for the mercy you showed me that day."_

"_Oh but you can," the rear admiral answered honestly. "Work hard and become the best damn Jedi Knight in the history of Jedi Knights! Do that and my effort to save your sorry ass won't have been in vain."_

"_Consider it done," Xana smirked. "Now if you don't mind, I have better things to do than to waste my time chitchatting with some lowly rear admiral."_

"_I'm sure you do Master Jedi. It has been an honor working with you. I wish you the best of luck." He stood straight and gave her his last salute._

_Xana regarded him for a moment and then smiled as she returned the salute. "And I you. Goodbye and good luck." For a second Coleman's eyes threatened to fall out of their sockets, this was probably the first time Xana had saluted him. Then his face lit up in his brightest smile ever and with a final nod he broke the connection._

* * *

Their companions had also been informed of the new developments. They were partially aware of the mission that the Council had bestowed upon the duo, but not everything could be shared freely. They _did_ know Xana had been made Jedi Initiate and would investigate the Sith threat when she had been promoted to padawan.

It had piqued the interest of Canderous Ordo and he had immediately offered his assistance in whatever task they were given, hoping to find glory. The Mandalorians were people of warfare, combat was entwined with their very being. Individuals had to commit great deeds in battle for the glory of the clan. Revan had reduced the Mandalorians to a broken clan scattered across the galaxy, where they were desperately trying to pick up the pieces. Most were reduced to simple mercenary work to quench their thirst for combat, but it didn't grant them much honor.

Ordo was hoping to restore the glory of his people by defeating those who had once defeated them: the Jedi that had now turned Sith. That didn't mean the gruff merc was going to hang around watching Xana train, he had taken a transport elsewhere to do… whatever clanless Mandalorians did. He promised to find Xana when the time came.

Carth Onasi had been called back to the Republic. After his debriefing and a psychological evaluation he was deemed unfit for duty in the field, meaning he was bound to a desk job and therapy. Xana felt pity for the guy, a desk job meant sitting still doing nothing, giving way too much time to mull things over. At least the therapy would be good for him and she sincerely hoped it'd allow him to leave his past behind, start living a normal life.

She had found out Bastila and Carth were actually pretty close friends, or rather brothers in arms. The two of them had worked together extensively during the war and had developed that weird bond that could only form between warriors in extreme conditions. The knight had been worried constantly over his wellbeing and gave him a call at least twice a week. She had promised to get him back on the team once he had recuperated, to allow him to aid in the quest for the mysterious star forge. They could use a good pilot and experienced veteran like him.

Mission and Zaalbar had found a home in the enclave, in the very room neighboring the one Bastila and she shared. The Twi'lek girl had been the subject of worry for the first few days. She was taking the destruction of Taris and the loss of Zaerdra very badly and refused to speak or eat. The poor thing was wasting away in her room, secluding herself from everyone, even Xana. It was Bastila who eventually had been able to get through to her. Xana didn't know exactly what had transpired, but at the third day the knight had entered the girl's room and somehow emerged with a frail-looking Mission in her wake. The girl had tightly hugged Xana and promised to be strong and work hard to be able to help her boss.

Mission and Xana had spoken often during the next weeks and she had slowly been able to ease the girl's troubles, made her look forward to the future again. As a result the girl had become more cheerful, which had a positive effect on Xana as well. Mission was such a nice kid, very kind and always in for a laugh, but also serious and eager to learn. Learn the things she deemed useful, that is. The Jedi of the enclave had quickly found out the Twi'lek was as stubborn as a mule when they tried to teach her things she considered 'bantha poodoo', flat-out refusing to listen to them.

She _did_ accept most of Xana's lessons though, especially the ones about droids. T3-M4 had been moved to Mission's room and many evenings were spent working on it, as long as Xana wasn't reading in the library like she loved to. Nights like that were very enjoyable, Mission had come to accept Xana as something like a big sister. As a result she had become very clingy, something the apprentice had to get used to. In her post-amnesic life she never had any close friends, so the constant physical contact like grabbing an arm or hugging was new to her. Both of them had received preciously little affection in their lives though, so Xana allowed it.

Zaalbar the Wookie also started to open up a little. When Mission broke out of her gloom he immediately transformed as well, becoming more cheerful and looking forward to his future with Xana, the woman he had sworn a life-debt to. He was still very closed off about his past, but Xana had found out he was born and raised on the Wookie homeworld Kashyyyk. Something bad had happened and he had fled from his family, ending up on Taris. Zaalbar refused to explain the exact details, clearly deeply ashamed of whatever had transpired. He accepted the lessons of the Jedi more readily than his Twi'lek friend and he picked up quite a few things, especially about melee combat.

Her new master was a completely different story altogether. Bastila and Xana had become close friends over the past couple of months, which wasn't entirely so strange, considering they were together almost 24/7. The knight never said it with words, but she had come to care a great deal about her new apprentice and those feelings were mutual.

Their interactions were still filled with a lot of tension, simply because Xana loved challenging the high and mighty Bastila constantly. The knight didn't back down though, she was adamant on teaching _her_ apprentice respect for her master and never allowed her _girl_ to get the upper hand. It helped that Bastila was aware of her shortcomings and had a good sense of humor, meaning the tension was of the good kind. The kind that kept both on their toes and allowed them both to grow in the presence of the other.

The two of them had found much support in each other during these uncertain times. Xana had come to rely on Bastila's steady guidance and knowledge, while Bastila had come to rely on Xana's confidence and protective nature.

They were buddies and trusted each other, but there was also something brewing between them that transcended the innocent affection between friends. Xana had had those feelings since the very beginning, when she had felt a strange kind of love and respect towards Bastila. But now those feelings had transformed into something much more real, much more explainable. Bastila was denying it in all might, but the Bond told Xana the brunette had at least _some_ feelings for her apprentice as well.

Something kept the knight back and Xana knew forcing the matter wasn't going to help anyone. Instead she opted to try and ignore the warm fuzzy feeling she got when watching the brunette. It was still nice to tease the woman from time to time, getting the stern woman all worked up was just plain adorable.

"_Concentrate!_"

Bastila again. The two of them were sitting on small meditation mats in the center of their small room. The room was plain and simply furnished with all the basics. Two beds, two desks, a closet and behind a door a small bathroom. It was as plain as the enclave itself, but it was their safe haven, far away from the prying eyes of the other Jedi and even further away from the threat of the Sith.

She tried her best to follow Bastila's order to focus on meditating, but it just didn't work. She heaved a sigh in defeat and opened her eyes, looking at the woman in front of her. "Can I ask you a personal question, Bastila?" she asked softly, deciding to finally ask the question that had been bothering her for quite some time.

Bastila opened her eyes and gave her an annoyed glare. "And I suppose this is more important than your meditations?"

"Considering I won't be able to concentrate until my curiosity is quenched, I guess it is." The apprentice gave her master a sheepish, apologetic look.

"Your curiosity will never be quenched," the knight complained with a frustrated sigh. "Very well, what is it you wish to know?"

"The Mandalorian Wars… why didn't you join them?"

The brunette regarded her apprentice for a long while, eyes turned inward and thoughtful. "That _is_ a personal question. What do you hope to gain from my answer?"

"It's an important part of your history. By knowing your reasons I hope to understand you better." She also wanted to determine how much Bastila was a Council puppet, but she didn't say that out loud.

Bastila shifted uncomfortably, clearly becoming a bit apprehensive. "I've never spoken to anyone about this, not even Carth." Her tone had become uncertain.

"You don't have to answer of course," the raven-haired woman said quickly. "But if it's something that's hurting it might be best to talk about it, get it off your chest."

"It's not hurting," the knight said softly. "It's just… I'm not really proud of what I was back then." She looked into Xana's green eyes, searching. "Can I trust you? Will you keep this between us?"

"Of course I will," the apprentice said sharply. "Bastila, you're my bondmate, my anchor in the storm that currently is my life. I'd never do something to hurt you."

The brunette smiled slightly, clearly feeling strengthened by that declaration. Her grey eyes turned dark. "When Cathar fell I was fifteen, padawan for barely two years. The gravity of the situation in the Outer Rim never truly dawned to me, thanks to the protective cocoon my masters kept me in. I guess it made me naïve and unworldly, the notion that the galaxy was in grave danger never really connected… Until Knight Revan came along.

"Revan was _so_ convinced the Council was wrong in their caution not to interfere that she was even willing to risk exile by going against their orders and do what she thought was right. That sheer determination opened my eyes. Never before had I doubted the Council, I just always took their words for granted, like I was taught to. Suddenly all of my beliefs were blown out of the water."

"Your master can't have liked that," Xana remarked thoughtfully. "I guess he did everything in his power to restore your faith? Threatened you'd fall to the dark side if you were to follow Revan to war."

The brunette hummed softly to herself. "No, the fear of the dark side never really got a hold of me, even back then." Something of a rebellious smirk touched her lips briefly. "Those threats were flung so often at me, so carelessly, it became nothing but an annoyance whenever they were spoken. Maybe I was just an adolescent, rebelling against the warnings of her guardians, but even today I still don't believe people fall to the dark side just like that, not unless they want to."

She heaved a deep sigh and stared out of the window of the room. "Jedi are protectors of the galaxy. The galaxy was in danger, but the Council wasn't allowing the protectors to do their job. Knight Revan was the only one willing to selflessly risk her life to protect billions of innocent civilians, like a real knight would. To me she was the definition of a true Jedi Knight."

Xana cocked an eyebrow in surprise. "Then why not join her? Surely they could've used your battle meditation."

"While Revan was the definition of a Jedi, I certainly was not," Bastila answered soberly. "Revan was a grown woman who knew exactly what she wanted. She was brash and self-assured. She didn't take no for answer because she knew she could back up her ideals with pure skill and intellect. Back then I was just a girl, inexperienced and insecure. How could I ever contribute anything to the cause of that outstanding knight? In my mind I could only be a burden, slow her down."

Xana took her time to work out her master's words, slowly clicking the pieces in place. "A bright kid with a gift that can change the course of war. Sheltered away from any possible harm, afraid the gift might be lost. They never threw you into the harsh real world to fend for yourself, did they? You never learned to rely on your own skill and become self-assured."

"Every single day I heard I was special," the knight said wryly. "But how was I supposed to believe their words if they didn't even trust me to open a can of soup, afraid I might cut myself? My sheltered upbringing started to consume me, made me question my worth."

Xana looked at her master pitifully, the situation was just too sad. "You changed though. Right now you're confident, strong-willed. When did you change?"

"At my Knight Trial, boarding Lord Revan's flagship the _Absolution_ to bring her reign to an end. That was the moment I realized I was a strong Jedi, a capable warrior with skill that at some points exceeded even the skill of the Jedi Masters that were part of my strike team. When I became a Jedi Knight I demanded to be deployed into battle constantly, realizing my skills were a necessity in the war against the Sith."

Bastila's eyes became cold and distant. "Two years of constantly serving in war would change anyone. I became strong, simply because my subordinates needed me to be strong. The war taught me what I was capable of and it allowed my confidence to grow." She eyed her apprentice nervously. "Although you probably think I could still use some work in that department."

"You shouldn't have allowed Vrook to crawl under your skin." Xana's contemplative look turned into a boastful grin. "Lucky for you you'll be traveling with the epitome of confidence from now on. I'm sure you'll pick up a thing or two from such an outstanding example." Bastila opted to merely shake her head, although a small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "In all seriousness though, I can't help but notice you speak highly of Revan. Isn't she supposed to be the ultimate bad guy?"

"That doesn't change the fact she was an outstanding Jedi Knight." The brunette's grey eyes became distant once again, but this time there was a warm glint in them. "I once had the honor of witnessing Revan and Malak demonstrating their skill in a duel. As you may know, Malak is the most gifted lightsaber wielder of our generation. You'd expect him to wipe the floor with Revan, but he didn't. Malak's style was aggressive and fast, he darted around the battlefield like an angry hornet, sending fast and strong attacks relentlessly to his opponent. Revan was completely the opposite, she merely held her ground using her favorite lightsaber form: Soresu, the third form."

"Revan used the defensive form as well?" Xana asked in disbelief. "Does that mean she also used her Force powers rather than her lightsaber as her weapon of choice, just like me?"

"She didn't _use_ the Force, she _became_ it. It was frightening how well she commanded it as her weapon, like it took no effort at all. In that regard she was indeed much like you. As Malak danced around her launching his barrage of attacks she simply stood there, not a care in the world as she lazily defended his blows, brimming with confidence. But she was constantly vigilant, a coiled viper waiting for an opening to make her move. When it came she struck so fast and so hard that it completely overwhelmed him. Malak was defeated with a single, powerful blow from the Force."

"Now I understand why she preferred the defensive form," the initiate smirked. "Why use fancy swordplay when you've got the greatest power of the galaxy at your fingertips."

Bastila smiled faintly. "It is characteristic for what Revan was: self-assured, standing her ground no matter how much resistance the Council gave her and with the power to move galaxies. Dark side or not, she was a very remarkable Jedi. Perhaps even the most gifted one of our era."

"Oh!" Suddenly the last piece had clicked into place. "I understand now," the apprentice said cheerfully with a lewd grin. "Little fifteen year old Bastila had a girl crush on the powerful and beautiful Knight Revan!"

Bastila's grasped for air as her eyes grew wide in shock. "D…don't be ridiculous, I never even met her. I only saw her twice, from a distance. She didn't even notice me."

The grin didn't fade from Xana's face. "Sure, try fooling somebody else. The reason you didn't join the war was because you were afraid of making a fool of yourself in front of your crush."

"T…that's the most far-fetched thing I've ever heard." Bastila didn't sound entirely convinced of her own words.

"It's okay," Xana smirked in a satisfied way. "Considering how many Jedi followed her to war not many could resist her charms."

"I did _not_ have any such feelings for this woman," the knight huffed. "I didn't feel ready, that's why I didn't join."

"So what did the first woman to capture your heart look like?" the initiate wanted to know, completely ignoring the knight's feeble denial. "Did she look like me?"

Bastila looked downright alarmed now. "T…that's… I… she… you…"

"Oooh, so she _did_ look like me," Xana beamed. "Bet she didn't have such beautiful green eyes as me though."

"S…stop this."

Xana cupped her own breasts with her hands. "So how do our boobs compare? Or are you more an ass person?"

"_Enough!_" Bastila all but screamed, causing the apprentice to flinch.

"Hey, we both like women," Xana said with an innocent smile. "What's wrong with talking about the pretty ones?"

"We're Jedi, we can't do this," the knight answered halfheartedly, without ever making eye contact. "Such emotions will lead to the dark side."

"Oh come on Bastila, you just told me the fear of the dark side never got a hold of you. You would've followed Revan to war, had you had the guts. Hell, you even admitted dabbling with the dark side of the Force, claiming it's a tool to use. No Bastila, it's not the dark side you're afraid of. You're afraid of _love_."

"I don't love you," Bastila countered instantly. The words hadn't left her mouth or her eyes grew wide in shock, realizing what she had just said.

"When did I say you did?" Xana answered with a knowing smile, causing the knight to flush. "Besides, I already know you don't love me. The Bond tells me every single day." Her words were dripping with sarcasm and Bastila's face reddened even more.

The brunette desperately tried to compose herself. "I'm a Jedi Knight of the light side and I abide the Jedi Code. And so will _you_ be once your training is complete, so I suggest you start living by it."

"With all due respect, the Order that made up that Code spews crap like _destiny_. You can't expect me to take such bullshit serious and neither should you."

"This entire situation with our Bond and its visions is just as much a mystery to them as it is to us. I trust in their wisdom and so should you. They have years of experience, especially Master Vandar. He has been studying the Force for centuries, if anyone knows how to deal with this situation, it's him."

"So should we trust people that are just as deluded as we are, just because they've had more years to get a fancy title?" Xana's voice had become a sneer.

"I believe Master Vandar does what's best for the galaxy." Bastila's definite tone left little room for discussion.

"But is that also what's best for us?" the apprentice countered.

"It doesn't matter what's best for us, because Jedi serve the galaxy, not themselves."

"I understand and respect that, but one can only serve others if he has first come to terms with himself. How can a Jedi function properly if he completely ignores nature and depraves his body and mind of the things it craves for?"

"Because a Jedi lives by the Code and finds strength in it. There is no passion, there is serenity."

"Try telling that to my hormones," the initiate muttered.

"That's why you need to meditate," Bastila said sternly. "To prune your emotions and devote yourself to the Force."

Xana growled in frustration. "I wish it was that easy. But how can I ever find peace if I can't even clear my mind to enter the trance? I have one of those minds that's constantly at work, always mulling over ideas and thoughts. Even when I'm lying in bed it won't quiet down until I'm just too damn tired to think." She got to her feet and smashed a fist against the wall, needing a way to vent her frustration. "Why is it I can do everything except this?"

"Probably because you're too smart for your own good," Bastila said in a soothing voice. The words had the intended effect on Xana, like that deep, melodious voice always did. "I may have a trick to help you calm your mind, please sit down and take your meditation pose."

Xana turned around and did as she was told, sitting down with her legs crossed beneath her and her arms resting on her knees, hands open and faced upwards. The knight mimicked her and closed her eyes. "Close your eyes and imagine total darkness," she said with her calming voice. The initiate closed them, blocking out the dim light of the room. She focused on darkness and her entire field of vision became black.

"Now imagine a small flame, frail and weak." A small spark lit a flame in her mind. _Probably some idiotic Jedi indoctrination trick_, she thought, unable to fully focus. "Now feed your thoughts to the flame to make it grow. Don't let the flame go out." Xana thought this was ridiculous, but she did as she was commanded nonetheless. Her indoctrination theory was fed to the flame, causing it to grow bigger and stronger. "Keep adding thoughts, until all of them are replaced by the raging fire."

One by one Xana's thoughts became fuel for the fire, which was slowly growing to enormous proportions. Soon it filled her entire field of vision like a raging inferno that was threatening to overwhelm her. "Your mind is now empty." As the fire reached its peak, it purged every single corner of her mind, erasing all thought. Suddenly the fire was gone, taking her emotions, thoughts and feelings with it. As her mind blanked out she entered the elusive trance where there was nothing but her and the Force.


	20. Close

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Three**

**Close**

* * *

Bastila was taking her apprentice for a leisurely stroll through the vast grasslands of Dantooine. It had become a regular routine to have some of their lessons out here, where they were treated with tremendous views of valleys filled with gentle rivers and lakes, coupled with the pleasant wind tickling their skin. Being outside the confining enclave with its many prying eyes helped them both to relax.

Being able to relax around her apprentice was something of the last weeks. Dealing with Xana was often a nerve-wracking affair, and not just because she was the former Dark Lord. Sure, it was eerie to have to teach the woman she had met as Darth Revan once. Revan had been the most experienced one on that fateful day aboard the _Absolution_. Bastila had been the unknowing padawan, Revan the tutoring master. The reversal of roles had been hard to digest at first.

Those insecurities had been overcome rather quickly once she realized Xana was little more than an infant, with barely two years of life experience. A world apart from Darth Revan, who had been marked by a whole life of pain. Filling these gaps in her upbringing had become something of a personal task Bastila had set to herself, but it had been hard at best. If she had expected Xana to readily accept the steady guidance of a mentor she had been dead wrong.

Her apprentice had thwarted her at every single step, offering full resistance whenever Bastila tried to take charge. The infuriating woman completely ignored her years of experience and had played the age card numerous times. Sure, Bastila was five years younger than Xana, but to call her a little _girl_… As far as Bastila was concerned, Xana was the only girl in their company, but convincing her of that fact was nigh impossible.

Bastila wasn't about to let her apprentice push her in a corner though, quite the contrary. If Xana was trying to challenge her, that challenge was accepted. With pain in her heart she had reverted back to her ice-cold demeanor, treated the kid as a speck of dirt on the floor. She had been cruel – still was sometimes – and it made her cringe every time, but the woman had left her little choice.

Fortunately this necessary evil had paid off. After months of being the harsh, unforgiving master it had finally dawned to Xana her title of knight was well-deserved, not merely given to her for her gift of Battle Meditation. After an abundance of confrontations she had finally been able to get it into her disobedient apprentice's thick skull that she could back up her title with both skill and experience. Slowly but surely Xana had started to submit to her master. After nearly five months they had finally come to the point where she accepted the opinions and guidance of her superior readily, making them truly master and apprentice.

One of the things that had helped was that Xana had decided the two of them were going to be friends. Bastila hadn't been asked for her opinion on the matter of course, once her apprentice had set her mind to something it was impossible to talk her out of it, so she was now stuck being friends against her will. Well, not _entirely_ against her will, being friends with Xana wasn't always a bad thing. In fact, it had some major advantages.

Xana could be indifferent and distanced to most people. Like she said it herself, she didn't _do good deeds_, didn't bother doing things from the kindness of her heart. But once she locks you in her heart all of that changes. When it comes to her friends she's like a mother hen protecting her chicks. Being shielded by the woman's strong wings was something she secretly loved, although she couldn't help feeling juvenile whenever Xana was scolding a Jedi Master for Bastila's sake.

She trusted and respected Xana and had accepted the friendship, although a bit reluctantly. In her twenty-four years she never had had any friends, so she was a bit wary of her apprentice's intentions, even though she knew Xana wished nothing but the best for her, barring the sexual innuendos. Feeling safe, wanted and loved was not something she was used to, but it was a welcome change.

Dealing with Xana had become much easier now she had fully accepted Bastila as her master, although the nasty creature still had a tendency to challenge her about… well, everything. The raven-haired woman didn't accept anything until her master had provided a sufficiently thorough explanation and even then she remained cynical. Bastila didn't mind her different viewpoints though, quite the contrary. It was one of the reasons their lessons on the Jedi Code were spent out here in the grasslands of Dantooine, where they could openly discuss their differences without the disapproving comments of the other Jedi.

Bastila was devoted to the light side and Jedi Code, but seeing the world through Xana's eyes was refreshing and intriguing. Once she could speak openly – and her master readily gave her permission to do so – she had the tendency to spawn countless of often ridiculous ideas about morale and the Code. More often than not didn't she even agree with them herself, but she shared them nonetheless, just to challenge her master. It could lead to intellectual but mostly outrageous debates, where both passionately defended their own standpoints.

Right now they were having one such discussion. "So tell me, how exactly is giving a beggar a grilled cheese sandwich an act of the dark side?" Bastila inquired with a curious glint in her eyes and amused smile around her lips.

"The act itself would be an act of mercy, but what would the eventual outcome be?" Xana smiled as well, Bastila was delighted to note her apprentice was in her element. "You're always telling me to be careful, to fully analyze the possible consequences of my actions. What if another tramp sees the food and decides to kill the receiver to claim it for his own?" She mimicked Master Vrook's pedantic voice: "Few can resist the lure of a grilled cheese sandwich." Bastila actually had to laugh at that and Xana joined her cheerfully. "Jokes aside, you'd have the death of an innocent beggar on your hands."

"I wouldn't put it that way," the master countered. "It wasn't _me_ who slew the beggar."

"No, but your act of mercy was directive to the final outcome. No matter how you look at it, without your gift the beggar would still be alive, so your supposed light sided act suddenly became a dark sided one."

"Because someone with evil intent defiles your merciful act with violence doesn't change the kindness of your act. Sure, you should carefully analyze the possible consequences of your actions, but that analysis can only be made with reasonable constraints and within a finite timeframe. Should we forego all kindness if there is a small chance it'll have a negative effect within now and… a century? A millennium? And how do you know _not_ acting won't have an even greater negative effect."

"You can't know," Xana admitted. "But you agree there's a whole world between light and dark, don't you? The Jedi and the Sith are merely two extremes."

"I wouldn't call them extremes. They're simply powerful entities, making the consequences of their actions much bigger." The two had reached their favorite spot at the edge of a river, where they sat down in the cool grass to watch the clear water calmly meandering by.

"The problem with either of them is they defend their actions by a static Code," Xana continued. "I could exterminate an entire city and claim it was an act of the light side."

Bastila glanced over to her student with a cocked eyebrow. "Please do."

"Considering the following: In a city I come across a brothel and decide to enter it, just to see what it's all about. I find out the girls are forced to serve the customers against their will and said customers are well aware of that fact. I do some asking around in the streets surrounding the brothel and realize the residents are also aware of this evil. In fact, every single soul inside the city is at least somewhat aware of it, but all of them forego action. None of them ever stuck out a helping hand to free these poor girls from their misery. They are sinners and should not be allowed to defile our galaxy any further. I slay every single one of them in the name of the light."

Bastila was silent for an awkward second, then burst out in cheerful laughter. It had been the second time today her nutty apprentice made her laugh so openly, a thing she rarely did. "Xana, that's just ridiculous, even for you. I hope I don't have to point out just how flawed that reasoning is?"

The apprentice shrugged. "Sure, it might seem far-fetched and flawed, but it shows you can bend your intentions to fit within the vision of the light side." A lopsided grin curled around her lips. "Albeit in a highly chaotic way."

The master rolled her eyes. "And I suppose you consider yourself 'chaotic'?"

The apprentice smiled and shook her head. "Believe it or not, I consider myself pretty lawful. From time to time the flock needs the hand of a powerful shepherd to prevent them from fucking things up too badly." She saw the angry look in her master's eyes and quickly corrected: "_Messing_ things up too badly. The fact I don't bow down to superiors is simply because I haven't met one who isn't at least a _bit_ corrupt. If you don't deserve my respect I don't give a fu… I just don't care."

"So what tells that about you submitting to me?" the brunette teased with twinkling eyes. "You must think I'm not corrupt."

Xana snorted. "Bastila, when it comes to abusing power you're the most naïve creature alive… ever. On the snap of your fingers I'd do anything you damn well want, but during these five months we haven't even made love… not even once."

Some things would never change, Xana's relentless flirting being one of them. Sure enough Bastila felt the blood rushing to her ears and neck and the satisfied look in those bright green eyes told her Xana hadn't missed it as well. "Y…you're impossible, can't you just answer my question without trying to distract me with your outrageous suggestions?"

"What, why I take orders from you? Probably because I'm a sucker for beautiful women," Xana grinned. Bastila ignored the rushing of blood and did her best to shoot the infuriating creature a murderous look, causing the apprentice to quickly hold up her hands and trying to look innocent. "Please don't kill me! I honestly don't know why I take orders from you, it's a mystery to me. You're five years younger than me, almost a girl… why would I even listen to you?"

The repeated dismissal of her abilities annoyed Bastila greatly. "Apart from being a Jedi for over nineteen years, of which four were served in this war against the Sith? Apart from being the one who boarded Revan's flagship and…"

"Stop!" Xana interrupted quickly. "You've already proven your ability to me, the bruises you left are still fresh. No, I was talking about the first time we met, aboard the _Endar Spire_. There was no reason for me to obey you back then, yet I did. Even now I find myself unable to disobey a direct order from you. It's somewhat frightening."

"You know I have no intention of taking advantage of this, right?" Bastila asked softly.

Xana smiled. "I trust you." She let out a frustrated sigh. "Yet it annoys me I can't figure out why this is happening. I've read every single file or article about Force Bonds, but nothing similar ever pops up."

"The Council isn't much help either," Bastila added, feeling just as frustrated. "They claim it's merely the Bond helping you accept me as a mentor, aiding us in fulfilling our destiny."

"And you believe that?" Xana asked sharply.

"No," the master readily admitted in a strong voice. "But I doubt even _they_ know the full truth. Let's just make the best of the situation as it is. Like I said, I won't take advantage of it."

"You know, I wouldn't really mind you taking advantage of little old me," Xana whispered with a seductive wink.

Bastila did her best to stay calm. "You _do_ remember the last time I punished you for behaving like this, I hope?"

For a moment Xana's face fell, then she pouted pathetically. "Sowwy master."

Bastila shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Returning to our previous topic, you said you've never encountered a body of power that deserves your respect. Do you think you'd be able to do it better yourself?" She was curious of how much of Dictator Revan was still left in the woman.

"Probably not," Xana admitted. "I believe I could be a very powerful leader, but I'm way too impatient to be a good _political_ leader. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I could resist the temptation of abusing my power a bit."

"What would you do if you were to be the governor of the galaxy?"

"What, apart from acquiring a harem of the most exquisite, beautiful women and fucking them silly?" Xana asked with a lecherous grin.

The knight snapped. "That's it," she spat angrily. "You're banned from the library _and_ your droid for a full week."

"Wha…? No way!" The apprentice eyed her with a devastated look in her eyes.

"Such profane language in front of me, you should know better by now." Bastila was completely fed up with the girl. "And your shallow remarks give you no credit either."

"I'm not shallow, it was just a joke," Xana complained with sad eyes. "You know I'm completely and utterly devoted to you. I just wanted to make you blush, it makes you so much more beautiful."

"Enough! We're having a lesson here, try to concentrate for once."

"Alright, alright… jeez." Taking away Xana's favorite two pastimes wasn't something she enjoyed doing, but it was the only punishment that really got through to the girl. Xana knew better than to complain about it and she scratched her chin thoughtfully. "What would I do if I were to be the governor of the galaxy? It's a difficult question, I can't give you a unambiguous answer. I mean, I couldn't be bothered to try cleansing all 'evil'. For one it would be going around in circles, secondly evil helps the galaxy to evolve and grow."

"Without evil no progression?"

"It's in times of war that the most technological innovations are made. Besides, harsh times help people to get the most out of themselves, reach their pinnacle. I'm a firm believer that if you want something, you have to work for it. If a government starts to arrange every little thing for you, you'll never learn to stand on your own two feet."

"So you'd leave the galaxy alone, let it figure things out itself?"

"I'd let things evolve naturally where possible and intervene where necessary. Observe, correct, restore."

"Yes," Bastila admitted softly. "That seems like a sensible thing to do." She didn't know if the choice of those last three words was on purpose or accidental, but it had startled her. Not everything of Revan seemed to be lost and she couldn't decide if she should feel extremely delighted or extremely frightened.

* * *

The duo returned to the enclave after their morning session of verbal brawling. They immediately headed for the cantina to satisfy their hunger, where they were greeted by a familiar cheer. "Grey!" Mission came rushing towards them and crushed Xana in a bear hug.

"Hey Blue!" the apprentice grinned impishly, clearly glad to see her little brat. The Twi'lek planted a kiss on Xana's cheek and returned the happy smirk. This affectionate behavior towards each other had startled Bastila at first, she hadn't expected the no-bullshit marine to accept a little Twi'lek girl as her… little sister? But it made a strange kind of sense as well, considering both their neglected backgrounds.

Zaalbar came slouching after his best friend and Xana bumped fists with him. "Hey Brown!" she greeted.

Bastila rolled her eyes. "Your nicknaming ability simply astounds me," she commented dryly.

"Well I'm sorry, Princess," the apprentice said sarcastically. "Even _I_ can't be good at everything."

"You're threading on thin ice," the knight threatened darkly. "The duration of your punishment is still very variable."

Xana paled at the threat and Mission glanced sharply at her boss. "What punishment?" she demanded. She let out a frustrated sigh. "What did you do _this_ time?"

"Err… went a step too far, I guess." She laughed nervously. "We… can't work on the droid the next week."

"Oh, that's just marvelous," the Twi'lek scowled. "Couldn't shut your trap again, could you?"

"Sorry Blue," Xana muttered. "I'll make up to you next week, I promise."

Mission sighed. "It's always like this. You make some outrageous comment to your master and _I_ get to spend the evening alone. You know how boring the enclave is."

"I'm really sorry," Xana pleaded. "If it makes you feel any better I'm banned from the library as well. My evenings will be just as boring as yours."

Bastila had to smile internally, although she managed to hide it on the outside. The best, if not only way to punish her student effectively was to make sure Mission got mad with her. It worked without failure. "Alright, alright," Mission said. She looked sternly up to her boss. "Just try to watch your mouth next time, okay?"

"Sure thing," Xana answered with a relieved look. They four of them headed to the kitchen where they fixed their plates and took a secluded table in a corner of the cantina. The other Jedi cared little for them and they preferred staying out of their field of vision as most as they could. Besides, witnessing a Wookie eat wasn't for the faint of heart. Bastila had desperately tried to teach him some table etiquette and had made some progress, but he was still a Wookie…

"So what are you two up to this afternoon?" Xana asked Mission when they were attacking their plates.

"We'll be helping with the construction of that refugee camp north of the enclave," she answered brightly. The war in the Outer Rim had caused a stream of refugees and many of them had fled to Dantooine. The Order aided them wherever possible and had started erecting makeshift camps to house them. "They could use a heavy lifter like Big-Z!"

"And what will your part in the construction be?" Bastila asked suspiciously.

Mission averted her gaze from the knight. "Err… you know… overseeing business and everything."

Xana had to laugh. "You lazy brat, letting your buddy do all the heavy work." She grabbed the Twi'lek by the upper arm and squeezed in it. "You should grow some muscles here, you know?"

"Hey I don't need to be ripped like you," she complained, while pulling her arm free from the strong fingers. "I'm not a marine, I'm a thief."

"The fact you sound proud of that fact is disconcerting," Bastila commented stoically. "Have you stolen anything lately?"

"Apart from that half written love letter you made for Xana? Nope."

Bastila nearly choked on the potato she was chewing on and felt the blood rushing to her cheeks. As she coughed violently Xana gave the Twi'lek the high-five. "That's my girl," she smirked proudly.

"You insolent _brat_," the knight managed when her fits of coughing had lessened.

"She learned from the best."

"You were right Xana, making her blush _is_ easy," Mission giggled. "Makes her prettier too."

"Oy, you aren't lusting after my girlfriend, are you?" Xana asked sharply.

"G…girlfriend?" Bastila stammered.

"Xana, I'm a fourteen year old girl," the Twi'lek said flatly, ignoring the Knight. "If I were to lust after someone it would be a _boy_ of my age."

"Good, because getting me jealous is not the path to old age." Xana gave Bastila a playful wink and the knight suddenly felt the fluttering of little wings in the pit of her stomach. Luckily the apprentice turned to her girl again. "So, any of the boys here that pique your interest?"

Mission snorted. "The boys here are about as interesting as Dorak's stories about Dantooine's shrubbery. They wouldn't get the meaning of the word 'fun' if it was lying naked in front of them."

"Oh come on, there must be at least someone who you like." She locked the girl in place by grabbing her around the shoulders and playfully tickled her stomach. "No one who gets the butterflies going in your little belly?"

Mission squirmed and wiggled under the tickling. "Lemme go, you oaf!" she laughed. After a short struggle she managed to worm herself free and pushed the older woman off her. "There's no one, I'd rather date a cardboard box than a Jedi."

"You wound me Blue," Xana complained with a pout. "And I'm sure my master as well."

"Will you two knock it off already?" Bastila said under her breath.

Xana regarded her with a feral grin. "Knock what off exactly? You know, you shouldn't be so vague when you're reprimanding us." Mission wanted to add something, but Bastila held up a threatening finger and regarded her sternly. The girl shrunk under the gaze and swallowed her words. The fear-factor still gave her the upper hand on the girl, fortunately. Bastila shifted her gaze to Xana, who held up her hands and tried to look innocent. "Knocked off already, don't be angry!"

"For a woman with a measured IQ of over 150 you're annoyingly daft sometimes," the Knight said through gritted teeth.

Xana's eyes sparkled lewdly and she was already opening her mouth to say something, but to Bastila's surprise Mission intervened by pressing a hand against her boss' mouth. "Xana, I know you're about to make some lame joke about losing all sense whenever you're lost in Miss Bastila's beautiful silver eyes, but she'll only get angry with you and take away more T3-evenings. So _please_, don't make that joke."

When she removed her hand Xana looked at her in awe. "Did you just finish my joke so I could flirt with Bastila without getting reprimanded for it?" The young Twi'lek smirked conspiratorially and Xana gave her the high-five again. "Hive-mind!"

"Impossible." Bastila shook her head and sighed, but couldn't keep a small smile from forming around her lips.

"You made her smile Blue!" Xana patted the girl on her head. "Great job."

"Stop teaming up on me already and finish your plates," the brunette scowled.

"Sorry Miss Bastila." Mission quickly focused on her plate and continued eating in silence. Xana must also have decided she had tormented her master enough, because she too continued her meal.

After a while Mission got to her feet and pressed a kiss on Xana's cheek. "Gotto roll, construction crew is waiting for us."

She already wanted to scoot off, but Xana called her back. "Mission?" Her tone had lost all warmth, causing the Twi'lek to look back nervously.

"Y…yes?"

The raven-haired woman looked at Mission's plate. "You've forgotten something."

Mission also looked at her plate. She had eaten all fat, fried bits and had left all the vegetables. With a sheepish smile she massaged her stomach. "I'm really full."

"Sit. Back. Down." The poor girl paled from the harsh command and did as she was told. Under the watchful eye of her boss she quickly wolfed down the remaining vegetables. She uncertainly looked up Xana when she was done. Xana send her off with an approving nod, and Mission all but escaped the scene with Zaalbar in tow.

"One moment you're spoiling her like she's your own blood, the next you're commandeering her like she's a soldier in your squad," Bastila remarked when the girl was gone.

"Someone has to take care of her eating habits," Xana commented while shaking her head. "She'd put herself on a diet of candy and soda if I'd let her."

The brunette watched her keenly. "You care a great deal about her."

"I do. She's such a sad little creature, she needs someone who takes care of her. Besides, I owe her big time." She looked up to Bastila meaningfully. "Without her I would've never been able to rescue you."

"I… I appreciate what she did," Bastila said self-consciously, knowing she hadn't always treated the girl very kindly, simply because Mission seemed to dislike her.

"Look, I know you two don't get along, and that's just fine. But she's had a shitty youth and she deserves a bit of happiness now. All I'm asking is for you to protect her if necessary and don't give her any unnecessary shit."

"Don't worry," Bastila answered honestly. "I will."

* * *

That evening the duo was calmly walking back to their room. It was late already, they had just had a long training session with the lightsaber. Xana was getting the hang of it, her footwork had improved tremendously and her defense was tight. Pushing her extra hard had brought results, the apprentice had made good progress. Bastila was pleased to see her apprentice well worn out and sore, meaning she'd given it her all.

They reached their small room in silence. "You could compliment me from time to time, you know?" Xana said out of the blue, after they had stepped inside.

"Excuse me?"

"Compliment me, as in congratulate me for my progress."

"You… care about such things as a simple compliment?" Bastila asked incredulously.

Xana looked at her like she saw her for the first time. "Who doesn't?"

Bastila gave her student a long, thoughtful stare. It had never occurred to her to congratulate her student for her achievements. Her own masters had never done so to her. Mistakes were her fault and she was harshly reprimanded for them, but her achievements were all thanks to her talents and considered as only natural. She realized she had become just like her masters, treating her student exactly the way she had despised so much back then.

It made her feel guilty and she wanted to make up somehow. Seeing her apprentice rubbing her sore muscles gave her an idea. "Undress," she ordered.

The order must've been completely out of the blue and out of character, because Xana nearly toppled over. "…what?"

"You've worked really hard today and have shown tremendous progress. I want to reward you for that with a massage, but that's rather hard to do with your clothes on, isn't it?" The knight didn't bother waiting for an answer, but was already busying herself with the meditation mats, laying them in the center of the room so her apprentice could lie down on them.

"I was aiming for a simple 'well done', but instead I get this. Bless my high charisma." Xana sounded extremely smug and had that characteristic grin plastered on her face.

Bastila watched her dryly, the everlasting smile of that woman could be both heartening and extremely aggravating. "Are you going to follow my orders, or are you going to let this onetime offer slip?"

Xana pouted like a little girl and didn't know how fast to undress. Bastila fetched the small bottle of massage oil that was stored in the bathroom for such occasions. When she returned to the room her apprentice had stripped down to her panties and was lying face down on the meditation mats. She rolled up her sleeves, drizzled some of the oil on the exposed back and diligently started massaging every single muscle.

There's a slight difference between a normal massage and the massage given by a Jedi Knight. A Jedi can use the Force to quickly heat up the muscles and ease the tension that way. As a good healer Bastila was quite adept at micromanaging the Force. This was very similar to healing, except more rewarding, if that was even possible. Every time she used the Force to manipulate a tendon she was rewarded with a soft moan from Xana.

Xana's olive skin felt was so incredibly soft to the touch. Underneath it were her toned muscles working and moving, it was fascinating to feel the power beneath her hands. And then there were the moans. She knew there was nothing sexual about them, but hearing that wonderful, melodic voice squirm in pleasure quickly aroused Bastila. It awakened something that had been deeply buried away, killed off by deep meditations. Right now she wanted to do nothing more but pleasure her student in even more, forbidden ways.

_There is no passion, there is serenity._

The Code crept back into her mind, making her realize what she was thinking was extremely wrong. With sheer power of will she pushed the depraved thoughts away and continued the massage almost mechanically, although she couldn't help but enjoy every single second of working on Xana. Once all muscles were nice and relaxed she got to her feet. "All done. Get yourself a nice, hot shower and then off to bed with you. You've had a rough day, you could use a good night's rest."

Xana mumbled a weak protest as she got to her feet. "That was the best thing I've ever experienced, Bastila."

She turned towards the Jedi, rewarding Bastila with the full frontal view. Her mouth nearly dropped open, Xana was simply stunning. Her lush black locks were draped over her toned shoulders. The strong arms underneath could easily sweep Bastila off her feet… or lock her in place while those slim, soft fingers were having their way with her. The flat abdomen pressed through beautiful oily olive skin just enough to make their presence known, to hint at the tremendous strength in this woman.

Yes, Xana was a powerhouse. Minus the Force Bastila would simply not stand a chance against her apprentice. The thought aroused her even further, somehow relinquishing all control to this woman spoke strongly to her fascination. Maybe she was simply sick of having to be the strong one, the one in charge, the one who wasn't allowed weaknesses. But seeing the naked body in front of her made her realize the true reason was much more primal. This woman was just so beautiful with her athletic figure. Her curves were correct, so to speak. Slender legs with strong calves and thighs, wide hips with a slim waist, and finally those breasts. Those breasts were just…

"Umm, not that I mind posing for you, but I'm getting cold." Xana's words shook Bastila out of her thoughts and her heart nearly stopped as she realized what she had just done, what she had just _thought_. Only now she noticed her entire face was pulsing hot red, ears included. But the most shocking thing was that the woman was watching it all with a mischievous smirk. "You don't seem to suffer from the low temperature at all. Want to… exchange body heat?"

_Just say yes woman. Stop making things so difficult for everyone and submit to your feelings already._ But she couldn't. It wasn't the fear of the dark side. It wasn't even the Jedi Code, although she was dedicated to it. No, what she was truly afraid of was Revan. What if she was to give in to whatever Xana had in mind for her? What if those extreme emotions were to reawaken Revan? How would Revan respond? Apart from finding herself in an awkward situation with the 'girl' she considered a padawan, how would Revan judge Bastila's decision of keeping Xana in the dark about her past? Would she judge her as the liar and Council puppet as she was? The whole idea was nothing short of terrifying.

"Into the shower, right now." The words came out colder then she had anticipated, but Xana didn't seem to be bothered.

With a playful pout she approached the Jedi, who backed off a bit towards the wall. "Are you _absolutely_ sure?" she asked sultrily.

_No, I'm not._ Those bright green eyes nearly melted from the heat, a heat that Bastila could now feel between her legs as well. "Y…yes I am," Bastila answered weakly, as she took another step backward and bumped into the wall. If the Amazon were to take one step closer she'd surely faint.

"You don't sound very sure _master_," Xana whispered. Her green eyes burned with the arousal in them and it awakened thousands of little butterflies in her stomach. "Just say the word and this is all yours." She made a wide gesture at her body.

Her entire body screamed to submit, but she couldn't. "P-please, stop," she pleaded.

Suddenly Xana seemed to come back to her senses and realized what she was doing. Her eyes grew wide in shock. "Oh fuck," she muttered. "B-Bastila… I… s-sorry. I didn't mean to…" She seemed unable to find the proper words and instead she chose to turn on her heels and fled into the bathroom. Bastila's legs gave way and she slowly crumbled to the floor, her mind racing as she tried to figure out what on earth had just happened.

* * *

**A/N:** _Alright, so work is getting hectic again, hence the slower update rate. Luckily I'll have some free days next week, so I hope to make some good progress then. Thanks for sticking with me and as always major thank you for all the reviews. Without you I would've never been able to get this far._

_Next chapter we'll return to the events of the game and I'm psyched that Xana will finally meet the stray kitten, because I simply love her. In my take the kitten has some nasty claws though, so things will probably get a bit more grim._


	21. The Three Trials

**A/N:** _Wanted to release this earlier, but unfortunately I was struck by a fever with all its glorious side-effects. Just my luck to get ill during a vacation… Serves me right for making promises that are bound to be broken, sorry y'all._

_Just a little heads-up in advance to avoid any confusion: Juhani's backstory has gone through major changes, so it's best to approach her character without any expectations from the original game._

_On a completely different note, cthulu1 will be betaing this story for grammar, spelling and flow from now on, meaning TGLotS will come with less Dutch-English, writer's blindness and other crap from now on! Major thanks for your help, it's really useful. (Hope I didn't butcher the English language too grotesquely before. If I did I blame Dutch education!)_

* * *

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Four**

**The Three Trials**

* * *

"We are running out of time." Master Vrook's voice was filled with worried irritation.

"And I'm telling you she is not yet ready." Master Zhar tried to sound calm, but he too was feeling the pressure of the looming Sith threat.

"Control of the Outer Rim is slowly slipping through our fingers. How long until the Mid Rim becomes target of this war? The Core Worlds?" Vrook was constantly itching to jump into this war and lend his aid to the Republic and the Jedi, but his duties for the Enclave Council bound him to Dantooine. The constant stream of reports of lost battles was taking its toll on him.

"Believe me, I'd rather send Xana after the Star Forge today than tomorrow, but she's not at Revan's old level yet. Not by a long shot."

"We've already agreed on this," Vrook said in a low voice, trying to calm his temper. "Bastila is skilled but no frontline fighter and Xana is too much of an unknown in her current state. We have no skilled knight or master to spare, all of them are otherwise occupied, with this senseless war going on. Bastila and Xana need the melee skills of the Cathar. We have to retrieve Juhani."

"Xana is no match for Juhani in her current state," Zhar countered. "The Cathar will skin her alive, given the chance. Are you willing to take that risk?"

"She won't skin Xana alive," Master Dorak earnestly replied. "Juhani might be in a feral state, but she hasn't embraced the dark side. I put my hand in the fire for that."

"I'm not convinced," Zhar said. "Last time we saw her she looked almost possessed."

"Cathar are often misunderstood. Their culture - no, their entire being - is completely different from ours, it's easy to mistake that for the touch of the dark side." Dorak looked intently at the Twi'lek to empower his words. "I have worked extensively with a number of Cathar Jedi over the years and I assure you what Juhani is going through is typical Cathar behavior. Indeed, the Knight Trial we're putting her through right now was specifically designed for Jedi of her race. She has to overcome the beast within to become a Jedi Knight."

"But why do we have to send Xana for her? Can't we just send a small team to deal with Juhani and design a Padawan Trial that better suits Xana's current capabilities?" And avoid the risk of her being decapitated by an enraged feline, he barely resisted adding.

Dorak shook his head. "Letting a team drive her into a corner will accomplish only the opposite and enrage her even further. Once they've had a bout of power Juhani won't perceive Xana as a threat anymore. Her honor will prevent her from slaying the lower ranked Jedi, giving Xana a chance to work her silver tongue. To help Juhani come to terms with herself. Besides, if we want these two to work together it's crucial we give Xana this chance to help the Cathar. It might help Juhani to… warm up to Xana. As far as Cathar are capable of warming up to anyone, that is."

"So you're sure Juhani won't slice Xana's throat on sight?" Zhar inquired.

"Like I said, I put my hand in the fire for it." Dorak's definite tone left little room for discussion.

All masters turned to Master Vandar for his final verdict. The sage looked deeply worried and saddened. "It is unfortunate it has to come to this, normally I would advise keeping Xana here for at least another year, but do we have that much time? It is as Master Vrook said, time is running out, every day the Sith grow stronger and we grow weaker. We have to trust on Bastila's influence to keep Xana in line and on Juhani's combat skill to keep them both safe. If Master Dorak is convinced Xana will be able to temper Juhani's soul and rekindle her will to fight for our cause, I believe it is safe to carry on with the plan."

Zhar nodded once. "Very well, I shall make the arrangements."

* * *

For the first time in six months Xana entered the Council chambers again, accompanied by her master. Another youngling – an adorable Twi'lek girl of barely six years old – had been sent for them earlier that morning to tell them they had been summoned. Only official business took place in the Council chambers, so Xana had high hopes it'd be about her long overdue promotion.

All four Council Masters were present. When the two women were standing before them, Master Vandar took the word. "Initiate Xana Grey, we have summoned you here because you have shown great progression during the last six months. The time has come for you to prove your worth and undertake your Padawan Trials. Are you ready?"

"I am, Master Vandar." Xana barely contained a triumphant cheer.

"Then please recite the Jedi Code as you were taught and demonstrate you understand the full meaning of each line."

"Certainly, Master Zhar." Time for some textbook answers, no need for the four masters in front of her to know what she truly thought of their little code. "_Emotion, yet peace._ Self-discipline. Conquer your emotions and act with logic. Quell any sentiments through meditation to allow for a clear outlook on the task at hand." One would think the light sided Jedi would readily embrace emotions like compassion or love, but apparently even those could lead to the dark side in the little world they had created for themselves.

"_Ignorance, yet knowledge._ Observe, learn, and act out of the information you've gathered. Don't prance around in the dark without knowing what you're doing." The fact that something so glaringly obvious had to be written down appalled her. It's like telling a grown man to check the water temperature before stepping under the shower to avoid a nasty burn. If the Jedi they recruited were honestly so foolish they had to be told this, it was no wonder so many had joined the Sith.

"_Passion, yet serenity._ A Jedi is only loyal to the Jedi Order, all other relationships are merely a distraction and must be severed." A sideways glance at Bastila told her exactly what she thought about _that_ particular line. Not giving in to this passion was starting to get unhealthy, seeing how she had nearly _jumped_ her master in the aftermath of their earlier massage, if Bastila hadn't ripped her out of her trance with her plead things might've gone badly. Besides, without the support of Mission and Zaalbar she wouldn't be who she was right now. An individual finds strength and support in those close to them, the care and affection only a friend could provide was essential for the soul.

"_Chaos, yet harmony._ The Force connects everything like a vast web. Shaking a thread will have consequences, like ripples in a still pond. Study the possible outcome of your actions before you act." This one she wasn't sure about. Did the Force really connect _everything_? That would mean everything was bound to fate and left no room for chance. Did she walk a predestined path? She preferred to think she was in control of her own life.

"_Death, yet the Force._ Death is no tragedy, it's part of the cycle of life. Through the Force our deeds live on." Conquering the fear of death was what made a Jedi so formidable. Xana had almost died once and survived. She had tried to take her life once and survived. Had she conquered the fear of death? She had no desire to die anymore, as she still had a promise to fulfill to Mission. And she still hoped she could live a long, full life with Bastila. But would it really be so terrible, going into a dreamless sleep without ever waking up again?

So there it was in all its twisted glory, the Jedi Code, the bars and strings the Council used to control their puppets. The indoctrination that ensured complete and utter loyalty. Don't question the Council, because their word is infallible. Why? The Code tells us so. But why should we trust the Code? Because the Council tells us to. Nice circular reasoning there, the paradox would fry the circuits of any droid.

"You use the abridged version of the Code and your answers are short, albeit sufficient," Master Vrook reproached. "It shows you have yet to conquer your impatience." His gaze shifted to Bastila disdainfully. "But perhaps you merely copy the behavior of your master."

Bastila hung her head but Xana immediately flared up. "I was taught a master is not to reprimand his apprentice in public. 'Honor your padawan'? Are Council Masters excluded from that rule? Can they treat their flock as they damn well please?"

"Settle down you two," Master Vandar interrupted before Vrook could snap back. "Master Vrook, please show these two young Jedi the respect they deserve." Despite his small figure Master Vandar never had trouble keeping authority. "Xana, you show deep understanding of our Code. I can only hope it will transcend from mere understanding into actual practice one day."

Xana gave him a self-conscious nod, perhaps she hadn't managed to hide her disagreement with the Code as well as she had thought. Or perhaps the little toad could read minds. Nothing would surprise her anymore after everything she had seen and read during her six months of training.

"You've passed the First Trial," Master Zhar said, saving her from having to defend herself. "Congratulations. Now is the time to choose which path in our Order you will walk. As you know, there are three distinct branches in which…"

"Sentinel," Xana interrupted, knowing exactly where he was going.

The Twi'lek cocked an eyebrow, looking slightly offended. "Excuse me?"

"I know this will be some psychological test to determine if I'm best suited for Jedi Guardian, Jedi Sentinel or Jedi Consular. Allow me to save you the trouble. Guardians and Consulars are two extremes. The Guardian actively pursues and combats the forces of the dark side, preferably with a lightsaber. I'm not someone who willingly jumps into battle if the conflict can be otherwise resolved and I certainly don't focus solely on martial arts." Guardian Vrook shot her a disapproving look, but he didn't voice his thoughts.

"The Consular is a researcher and scientist, who tries to uncover the secrets of the universe and bring it into balance. I have no such aspirations, simply because I believe it can't be done. I'm no scientist either, I prefer the practical over the theoretical. Not to mention they focus on the Force too much, are too reliant on it." Consular Vandar smiled and nodded, did he agree with her?

"The Sentinels are the most practical of the Jedi, use all skills at their possession. Not only do they use both the lightsaber and the Force during combat and out of it, they don't forget the basic skills as well. Pick a lock, rewrite a droid's programming, hack a terminal… skills the almighty Guardians and Consulars might deem unworthy, but ever so helpful for a Sentinel to achieve her goals. They're sober and know the limitations of their training. Not so quick to jump into action as a Guardian, yet not as indecisive and benevolent as a Consular. The perfect balance, a jack of all trades who can take on virtually any job. That's the path I wish to pursue."

"I see you have given the choice great thought already," Zhar commented in an approving tone.

"Certainly master, I'm convinced it's the right choice for me. I'm not simply copying the behavior of my Sentinel master." Vrook didn't miss the jab at him, but Xana didn't give him the opportunity to respond, because she turned to Bastila with a warm smile. "But honestly, who could be blamed for wanting to be just a little bit like such a great woman?" The brunette looked a bit flustered and very grateful for the compliment.

"Who could be blamed indeed?" Zhar agreed with just as warm a smile at the knight. "Very well," he continued. "The reasoning behind your choice is sound. Whatever doubts I still had about Bastila becoming your master have all been swept away. You two are very similar, both no-nonsense women who represent everything the Sentinels stand for." He turned to Master Vandar and allowed himself a small smile. "Although I'm sure the Consulars will be disappointed you won't be fully exploiting your incredible connection to the Force."

"Again, the Force is a great weapon and a marvelous tool, which I love to study. Yet it's not omnipotent, it has its flaws. I prefer having a contingency plan or three."

"You love to study everything," Master Vandar said kindly. "Your place is with the Sentinels, it is where you will be most happy."

"I agree," Zhar added. "I would hate to see your other talents go to waste. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open arms." The Twi'lek chuckled as he looked at Bastila, who was positively beaming at her apprentice. "In fact, one of them already does."

"I'm glad my apprentice has made this choice," the brunette said with twinkling eyes. "I'm sure she'll fit right in." Truth be told, the two of them had discussed this topic greatly over the months. When Bastila had explained her everything about the three branches Xana had immediately made her choice. If you read the branch's description and swapped the word _Sentinel_ with _opportunistic scoundrel_ it still made sense, so it was perfect for Xana.

"With that choice out of the way, it is time to construct your first real lightsaber," Zhar continued. "A custom hilt has already been constructed to perfectly fit your hands and defensive style." He reached into his pocket and took out a crystal. "The choice of color has been made for you when you chose your branch."

Xana pouted slightly when Zhar handed her the yellow crystal, but decided not to speak her disappointment. Instead she followed the Twi'lek Master into an adjacent room, where he handed her the custom hilt as well. She wasted no time to clamp it into the workbench and started focusing the crystal. It was a meticulous job that had no margin for error, so she took her time, despite her impatience to start using her new toy. Her training lightsaber was nice, but it lacked bite. This right here was the real deal, easily capable of amputating a limb or ten.

When she was happy with her work she turned to Zhar, who inspected her work. "Well, I'll be… this crystal is focused perfectly, couldn't have done it better myself. Impressive job for a first time, congratulations." His twinkling eyes turned grave as he looked back at Xana. "You know, a wrongly focused crystal will cause the hilt to explode as soon as it is activated, usually costing the wielder a hand. They say the Sith use this to weed out the weak."

"An effective approach, were the capability to focus the crystal indicative for the overall skill of a Jedi. Which it's not, so it's merely a waste of talent."

"Indeed." He gestured at the workbench. "Please finish your lightsaber so we can test the results."

The initiate did as she was told and tightly secured the hilt over the inner mechanism. She then unclamped the device and took it in her hands. The hilt felt familiar and comfortable, her hands fell perfectly in the ergonomic grip. She crouched into the opening stance of Soresu and activated it, sending a perfect beam of yellow light piercing the air.

Zhar studied the pristine blade with admiration. "Excellent! Truly marvelous. You've passed the Second Trial flawlessly. The First Trial has proven you are worthy of carrying the title of Jedi and the Second Trial has proven you are worthy of carrying a lightsaber. Now it's time to prove you're worthy of carrying the title of padawan. The Third Trial will test your understanding of your place in this galaxy and the role you play in it. Not far from the enclave lies an ancient grove, left by an alien race that has long gone extinct. The normally docile kath hounds that live around that area have recently shown a tendency of becoming aggressive. Go there, seek out the source of this taint and see to it order is restored."

Xana eyed him thoughtfully. "That's not much information to go on."

"It is all you are given. This Trial will measure the extent of your self-reliance, as the Order will not always be able to take your hand and guide you. Are you able to resolve problems on the go as you encounter them?"

The raven-haired woman nodded, understanding the necessity of the Trial now. "I'll depart immediately."

After Zhar explained how she could find the grove she exited the room with a final nod. Bastila followed her out and fell in step next to her. Xana eyed her new lightsaber with a pout. "My lightsaber, it's…"

"I know," Bastila interrupted with a knowing smile. "There is a crystal cave not far from here. Tonight we'll go there and fetch one with a better color."

Xana felt her mouth fall open involuntarily. "Y-you know?"

The brunette chuckled. "I know how you feel about wearing the insignia of our Order and seeing those sad puppy eyes when Master Zhar handed you the yellow crystal told me enough. It's not necessary to wield the Sentinel yellow, so we can change it to anything you like if it makes you feel any better."

"Thanks," Xana muttered, feeling a bit silly about her desire for a different color. But still, she wanted to make it abundantly clear she was not the typical light side Jedi. And Bastila didn't seem to have much of a problem with that. That wonderful woman continued to surprise her every day.

When they reached the front gates of the enclave they stopped to look at each other. Bastila gave her apprentice a reassuring smile. "Good luck out there, my apprentice. Return victorious."

"Don't worry my master," Xana grinned impishly. "I shall."

* * *

Xana was humming a soft tune to herself as she was finding her way to the ancient grove. She felt good, brimming with confidence. Soon she would be a padawan, bringing her time as a student to an end. She had been a student most of her post-amnesic life, be it for the Republic Navy or for the Jedi Order. It had been necessary of course, her time learning had filled the gaps from her past, had made her whole again as a human being. On top of that it had transformed her into an excellent warrior.

But she was done with that part of her life, she was ready to go out in the field and get to work. Sure, she would still be Bastila's apprentice so technically she'd still be a student, but it would be different. She would start to play an active role in this war and start fulfilling her promises to Mission.

She crossed the ridge of a small hill and found what she was looking for. Tucked away in a small valley lay the remains of an ancient structure. To say it was rundown was an understatement, all there was left were some grey tiles on the floor and a couple of pillars, sticking out of the ground like broken teeth. It was of simple design, but the blocks were large and heavy. The alien race that had built this must've been quite advanced to be able to heave them in place.

As she started ascending the hill she was greeted by a long howl, followed by another. Out of the ruins came rushing three kath hounds, possibly the most ridiculous looking dogs that would ever roam the galaxy. Their ragged fur was a horrible mix of brown, orange and grey and their deformed heads were covered in bony appendages, resembling horns but missing the sharp points to be of any danger. In fact, it was hard to come up with any practical use for the protruding bones, making her wonder if it wasn't simply a flaw of evolution.

Xana chuckled when she saw the misshapen creatures storming towards her and felt the urge to play around for a bit. She spotted a fist sized rock and used the Force to let it float towards her, grabbing it out of the air graciously. She held it in her open palm of her outstretched hand and aimed it at one of the kath hounds. "Kaboom!" she yelled, as the Force propelled the rock forward with the speed of a cannonball. It landed squarely on the head of the first kath hound with a sickening crunch, causing it to drop down with a high-pitched whine.

The other two tried to flank her, but Xana took a Force-sped step backward to avoid their sharp teeth. She drew her lightsaber, eager to test her new toy. The creatures clumsily recovered from her sudden disappearance and honed in on her again. "C'mere guys, let's play." The first one took a leap at her, which she nimbly avoided by stepping aside. Her yellow blade surged downward in a long, sweeping blow, leaving a deep gash in the hound's neck.

From the corner of her eyes she saw the other hound charging her, but with a flick of her wrist a powerful wave pushed him off course. It let out an angry growl, letting his enemy know just what he thought about her killing his buddies. Said enemy couldn't quite care though, as Xana went on the full offense with the last hound. Utilizing the first lightsaber form Shii-Cho – the basic form which all apprentices were taught – she sent a flurry of attacks his way. The poor creature was soon overwhelmed by the display of speed and it didn't take much effort to cut its head cleanly off.

Xana looked around the battlefield and was pleased with the cutting power of her new toy. In her mind she already felt like a full fletched knight. Her gaze shifted to the ancient grove, it was time to convince the masters of her conviction. She slowly approached the structure, but before she was even halfway there she stopped dead in her tracks when another creature exited it. This time it wasn't a dog though.

It was a cat.

Or, to be more precise, a _catgirl_. The alien that was approaching her was humanoid, but her entire appearance bore strong semblance to a feline on the hunt. Xana realized this must be one of the Cathar, a member of the race that had their entire homeworld and culture devastated by the Mandalorians.

Much to her surprise she was clad in Jedi robes, although a highly altered version of it. It consisted of a green catsuit combined with panels of brown leather. The fabric hugged the woman like a second skin, revealing long, toned limbs and a muscle clad torso that was completely free of fat, save from the small breasts. In fact, the entire woman was sinewy and lithe, like she consisted of merely bones, muscles and tendons. She was tall as well, much taller than Xana.

The Cathar's face was quite long, with pronounced, aggressive features. The tone of her skin was sandy yellow, with a pattern of light brown stripes running across it. Her scalp was almost completely shaved, save from a single strand at the back of her head that was braided into multiple tresses held together by a yellow band. The bald head made the two long pointed ears stand out. Her lips were rather big and lush and of a brownish color, with a hint of pink.

But the most striking feature was the eyes. Her massive eyes arched down slightly, giving them an angry touch. The irises were of the brightest yellow and accentuated by long, full and dark eyelashes. The eyes were alive and expressive, Xana felt simply drawn in to them. The face markings above the yellow eyes swept down like eyebrows that dipped deeply to the bridge of the Cathar's nose. It gave the woman a constant angry expression.

Or perhaps the woman was really just very angry Xana concluded sheepishly, as the woman was closing in on her furiously. The hatred that radiated off her felt almost feral. The Cathar drew not one, but two lightsabers and activated them, revealing two pristine blue blades. A regular sized lightsaber was held in her left hand, but in her right hand she carried a _shoto_, a lightsaber with a shorter blade.

This Cathar was a dual wielder and if she was wielding the shorter blade – the off-hand blade – in her right hand it could only mean she was left-handed. Immediately Xana was on her guard, she had very little experience with dual wielders, as they were quite a rare breed. To top it off she had never faced a left-handed Jedi before _and_ it would be her first encounter with a Cathar. This duel had _unknown_ written all over it and Xana didn't like it one bit.

She quickly crouched down in the Soresu opening stance, figuring she should be on the defensive at first to study her opponent's moves. Her body was positioned sideways in regards to her opponent, with her left hand outstretched in front of her and her right hand carrying her lightsaber arched backward, blade parallel to her body and pointing toward the Cathar. Her right leg was arched back as well, while her left foot was extended forward.

The Cathar meanwhile took on a stance that Xana recognized as Ataru, the fourth lightsaber form. Somehow she had expected the nimble looking feline to favor this form, as it focused on great speed, strength and acrobatics. A blue aura surrounded the alien and suddenly she took a massive leap, closing the twenty feet distance at once. Her two blades followed in a wide, powerful sweep.

Twin blues clashed down on lone yellow in a flash of brilliant white light.


	22. Humility

**A/N:** _Happy New Year everyone! I wish you all the best for 2013 and I hope this year will bring you happiness, joy and everything you might still miss in life._

* * *

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Five**

**Humility**

* * *

There's a fine line between confidence and overconfidence.

Xana had always prided herself on walking that line graciously. She knew both her capabilities and her limits. As a proud individual she could be boastful about her achievements, but she never bit off more than she could chew – certainly not just to impress others. Before attempting to do the impossible – which she had a tendency to do – she'd make a rational analysis of her chances. If she figured the odds were in her favor all there was left to do was believe in herself and allow her iron will and talent to take care of the rest.

So where had it all gone wrong?

The shorter of the blue lightsabers came whirling toward her from the left corner. Xana turned and parried, leaving her right flank exposed. The Cathar immediately exploited the opening by making an explosive strike with the longer lightsaber in her left hand. Xana's yellow lightsaber moved…

…just in time to intercept the attacking weapon. The Cathar made a quick roll to her right, ending up on Xana's left flank. Xana turned once again to parry the enemy's blades.

It was all she could do.

Only minutes before this duel she had felt like a young goddess, a Valkyrie sent by the heavens to avenge the death of billions. She had pitied the Jedi Council for not seeing her true capabilities and scorned them for not promoting her to Jedi Knight already. But right now, as she was battling the Cathar at the edge of an ancient grove, she could only laugh contemptuously at the pathetic child she had been.

The Cathar made a quick combination: main hand, off-hand, main hand. Xana parried the first, barely managed to block the second, but was too late to intercept the last. The searing blade grazed her shoulder and left a shallow burn that hurt like hell. She gritted her teeth and desperately fought against the tears forming in her eyes. The harsh truth was starting to dawn to her.

Xana Grey was getting her ass kicked.

Royally.

As she tried to recover and get back into Soresu's basic stance, the Cathar made a fucking _somersault_ over the smaller human, landing a kick against her head somewhere along the way and landing gracefully behind her enemy. The alien made it all seem so easy, like she had been doing this ever since she was born.

Before the feline had even landed she was already turned towards her enemy again, weapons lashing out simultaneously. The blades cut through the thin fabric of Xana's brown initiate's robes and left two nasty burn marks, accompanying the five other cuts she had already managed to leave there.

What had she been thinking? That she could take on even the darkest of Sith with barely six months of training? That the Dark Lord of the Sith would fall at her hand, if only she would be given the chance? Her beliefs now seemed almost pathetic. She hadn't even been able to best Bastila in a duel yet, how the hell had she gotten the notion she could land even a _scratch_ on Malak? She had thought herself a knight, but she was nothing more but a child.

The Cathar was giving her a lesson in humility.

Xana growled in pain as the blades mutilated her skin. She took a leap away from the feline, desperate to get away from her relentless blades. If only she could get away from her enemy long enough to recover and deploy her greatest weapon, the Force. But the feline gave her no respite, as she made another acrobatic jump in pursuit of her prey.

Yes, that's how she felt, the prey of this catlike woman. The Cathar constantly observed her keenly with those livid yellow eyes, like a large cat playing around with a scared little mouse.

If the situation hadn't been so dire she would've appreciated the feline's fighting style. The highly mobile Ataru lightsaber form was something else completely and coupled with dual wielded lightsabers it became almost like an enchanting dance. The gracious jumps, quick rolls and flamboyant but oh so vicious attacks followed each other in a single, fluent motion. The twin blades were constantly moving, their trajectories crossing each other all the time, making it hard to predict where each blade would land. And if keeping an eye out for two separate blades wasn't hard enough the feline added kicks into the mix as well, making her style even more unpredictable.

The way the Cathar was dashing around her and breaching her defenses so easily made it seem like she was romping around with a toddler. It frustrated Xana to no end that she couldn't attack with the Force. She simply wasn't given any time to prepare her attacks, as the relentless Cathar constantly forced her on the defense.

Her left shoulder was once again cut by a blue lightsaber and a low hiss left her lips. Her only ray of hope right now – and the reason why she wasn't terrified like hell –was that the Cathar didn't seem very intent on killing her. If she had put any power behind her last attack she would've cut her entire arm off, no doubt about it. Instead of deep wounds the Cathar left only shallow cuts that just penetrated the skin, probably in an attempt to wear her enemy down. It worked, the pattern of shallow yet searing cuts on her back, arms and shoulders was starting to take its toll. Xana was quickly tiring out, the battle trance was hard to keep up and salty sweat was seeping into her wounds, adding to the pain. Her defense became lower and with more openings.

Suddenly the Cathar vanished in thin air. For a frantic second Xana scanned the area to see where she had gone, until a massive kick landed in her ribs. The feline had popped out of nowhere at her left flank and used the moment of confusion to strike. All air left her lungs and she nearly buckled over, dropping her lightsaber from the sharp pain. A fist hit her cheek and for a moment everything went dark.

When her vision returned she was lying on her back in the grass, staring into two yellow eyes. Her hands were locked above her head by the Cathar, who was straddling her at the waist and pushing down hard to keep her in place. She could feel every single wound burning as her back was pressed into the grass. The long, powerful fingers of the feline's left hand were wrapped around both Xana's slim wrists like an iron claw, pushing them painfully into the ground. The Cathar used her free right hand to hold her shoto at Xana's throat. The feline leaned in until their faces were mere inches apart. Xana stared into those furious yellow eyes with increasing terror.

"Give me one reason not to slice your throat," the Cathar hissed in a low voice.

Xana frantically tried to stay calm to assess the situation, but the furious face and viciously spoken threat made her heart skip a beat. The alien was giving her very conflicting messages, why was she threatening to kill her if she had the opportunity to do so all along? Was this some part of the Padawan Trial? "What reason do you have to kill me?" she inquired carefully in an attempt to establish what was going on and more importantly; how to walk out of here alive.

"You killed my kath hounds." The Cathar spoke in Basic, but with a very strong accent. It added to her fear factor, made her even more of an unknown.

"_Your_ kath hounds? _You're_ the reason they're turning vicious?"

The Cathar let out a low hiss. "They were not vicious, I trained them to defend this area."

"They tried to kill me," Xana countered, not averting her gaze from the piercing eyes just two inches above hers, knowing she couldn't show weakness now. "Look, I'm sorry about your hounds, but killing them was an act of self-defense. Can you honestly blame me for wanting to stay alive?"

"If you weren't trespassing my sanctuary you wouldn't have had to kill them."

The Cathar moved the lightsaber another inch closer to her throat and Xana tried her best not to swallow. "I had no choice," she pleaded frantically, trying desperately not to panic. Her wrists started to hurt from the Cathar's iron grip. "The Council sent me, this is my Padawan Trial."

For a moment the feline remained silent, eyes darting all over her face, _studying_ her. "You must mean Knight Trial, you're at least thirty years old."

"Twenty-nine," the initiate corrected. "And it _is_ my Padawan Trial, I was initiated just six months ago."

"You're an initiate?" the Cathar asked in disbelief, eyes growing wide. "_It would make sense_," she muttered to herself in Catharese, unaware that Xana could understand every word. "_Her skill with the lightsaber is sloppy and she doesn't handle herself as a knight._"

Xana had to swallow in shame at the harsh comment on her skill, recognizing just how true they were. "I don't want to die," she implored quietly, her green eyes staring pleadingly into the Cathar's yellow ones.

She had accepted defeat.

The angry look on the Cathar's face subsided, making place for an empty one. Much to Xana's relief she deactivated her blue lightsaber and got to her feet. The Initiate felt her entire body relax as the hostile presence that had been all around her left, but she stayed on guard. As she sat up she saw the Cathar picking up Xana's lightsaber. For a moment she thought about snatching it back with the Force, but she knew better than to provoke the alien. The Cathar studied the weapon vacantly. "Such a lethal weapon for one so incompetent," she muttered, in Basic this time, clearly intending the initiate to hear.

It was another stab at her and it hurt, because it was so true. The Cathar carefully tucked Xana's lightsaber away in one of the pockets of her robes, much to her dismay. Never before had she felt so vulnerable. The Cathar glanced at her. "So that's how the masters think of me, sending a near-padawan to kill a near-knight."

"What makes you think I'm here to kill you?" Xana asked cautiously.

"Don't play dumb, whelp," the Cathar growled. "They didn't send you after a Jedi killer to have a nice little chat." She let out a scornful snort. "Although the Council _does_ love to talk."

"Jedi killer?" The initiate felt the icy claws of fears clasping her heart a bit tighter. "They didn't tell me that." Had this woman fled here because she had murdered another Jedi?

The Cathar regarded her for a long time, face still as expressionless and unreadable as before. Never before had Xana met someone she couldn't read. Most people were like an open book to her, she always knew exactly what was going on in someone's head and how she could influence it. The fact that she couldn't with the feline made her feel at loss. "Just what kind of a lousy Jedi are you?" the feline finally asked. Her voice had become as empty as her face, making Xana wonder if her words were meant as an insult or if she was simply stating facts. "You walk into a deathtrap without even asking what you'll be facing?"

"I asked, alright?" Xana snapped. Was this woman going to kill her or mock her? "I'm not some dumb sheep, I prefer finding out as much as I can beforehand. But for this trial they wanted me going in blind, so what am I going to do?"

"What are you going to do indeed?" the woman mused. "Unarmed and incompetent like a whelp fresh from the womb." Xana didn't know how to respond to that and the alien clacked her tongue impatiently. "I don't have time for this. Crawl back to your masters to lick your wounds, whelp, and be glad I'm so merciful not to avenge my hounds."

The feline woman folded her arms and watched her enemy, waiting for her to leave. Part of Xana wanted to escape the grove as fast as she could, to get away from this dangerous woman who could easily rend her to pieces. But that would mean failing her trial, and that was simply not an option. She got to her feet and studied the Cathar, trying to figure out what the Council was expecting from her. Clearly not to kill this superior opponent, so much was clear.

"So let me get this straight," she said to the Cathar. "You killed a Jedi and fled to this grove, training the kath hounds to protect you?"

The feline raised an eyebrow. "Look at that, the whelp is actually able to listen." She tapped her fingers impatiently.

"What happened?" Xana asked.

"That is none of your business."

That struck a nerve. "The Outer Rim is burning and you're wasting your talent away in some long forgotten ruin. It sure as _hell_ is my business."

"My pity died along with my homeworld." Her words and face were completely void of any emotion. "The Jedi abandoned us, allowed Cathar to burn. Now death comes knocking on _their_ door and they expect me to jump to their defense without question?" She spat on the ground. "I should cut you into shivering fibers for even making the suggestion."

"What the Jedi did was wrong and I understand your anger, but…" Suddenly the Cathar rushed toward her and grabbed her by the collar, pulling their faces inches together again. For the first time it dawned to Xana how just tall this woman actually was. Xana was of average height, but the Cathar in front of her towered at least a full head above her. She had to crane her neck to be able to look the woman in the eyes.

"You understand nothing," she hissed. Xana noticed the particularly long cutting teeth and involuntarily shrunk under the sheer presence of the Cathar. "To have your entire homeworld, race and culture wiped out in a single blow, and not a soul who cares. It's the epitome of betrayal."

"Then why did you join the Jedi you so despise?" Xana countered. "The destruction of Cathar was nine years ago. If you're almost a knight it means you've spent most if not all of that time studying under a master. Why is their betrayal becoming a point right now? Why are you so bitter?"

"I owe you no explanation, whelp."

It had been there for just a second, but Xana had definitely seen a sliver of uncertainty in the feline's eyes. She knew she had to be bold now. "Look, whatever happened, I was sent here to help you. Apparently they didn't want you dead, otherwise they wouldn't have sent… an incompetent whelp such as me. Why don't you talk to me? Or do you want to spend the remainder of your days as a bitter hermit in this grove? Watch how the galaxy crumbles around you while knowing you could've made the difference?" Xana had put all force she could muster behind her words and eyed the Cathar intently.

The taller woman fell silent and regarded her for a long while. "The galaxy is crumbling?" she finally asked softly, still holding her prey by the collar. "I may have been out of touch for too long. What happened during the last seven months?"

"Seven months… in that case you wouldn't have heard of Taris?" The Cathar shook her head. "The entire planet of Taris was laid to waste by the Sith Fleet, in the same way they destroyed Telos. I… was there."

"You witnessed genocide similar to Telos and survived?" The feline looked like she didn't believe her.

"We managed to secure a fast freighter just as the first bombs started dropping. Through sheer luck we managed to escape the surface as the destruction began. It was… beyond terrible." Her green eyes became haunted and she could feel the Cathar's yellow eyes piercing hers, but she couldn't look up to meet them. "The sound of a collapsing skyscraper, knowing there are thousands of souls inside, it's…" Her voice broke, the images of that day clear in her mind.

"I see." How the alien could sound so even and calm was beyond Xana. "And I take it the Order is doing everything in their power to stop the Sith?"

"It seems they've learned from their mistakes." Xana finally looked up to meet the Cathar's yellow eyes. "They're meeting the Sith with full force, like they should've done with the Mandalorians."

"Spare me your sympathy." She released the initiate's collar and pushed her away from her. "As much as I'd like to join the war, I can't." Shame cracked through the feline's blank expression and she turned away.

Xana walked around her so their eyes would meet. "Why can't you join us? Someone with your skill would be a major asset." The Cathar turned her face away, but Xana moved into her field of vision again. "Please talk to me," she pressed.

The Cathar regarded her for a long time. Xana wished she knew what was going on behind her yellow eyes, but she remained as much a mystery as ever. Finally the woman seemed to come to a decision. "Fine. I'll talk. It's not like you'd leave until you're satisfied, unless I truly hurt you, which would put me to great shame." The woman walked over to the ruins and eased down in the grass with her back resting against a grey column.

Xana moved after her and crouched down in the grass in front of her, watching the woman curiously. The Cathar lazily returned the look as started telling. "My race evolved from the ancient big cats on Cathar. Although we've become bipedal and capable of speech and complex thought, some of our feral habits have lingered within our genes. It is what we call the _inner beast_. In the event of massive stress the inner beast can come out, like an evolutionary failsafe mechanism to protect us from harm."

Xana had read some about the Cathar race and their temperamental nature, but she had never heard about something like this. "What exactly happens when it comes out?"

"It's a frenzied state. We become a true predator, with the sole purpose of destroying every threat in the vicinity. It's uncontrollable." A shadow of pain crossed the Cathar's face. "Seven months ago… my master did something to me, something terrible. It triggered the inner beast." She looked at the Initiate in front of her coldly. "I killed her."

"You killed a Jedi Master?" Xana asked in disbelieve.

The Cathar hissed angrily. "I just told you that, why do you humans always have to ask questions that have just been answered?"

"I-I'm sorry, but… you actually killed a Jedi Master? Didn't you say you weren't even a Jedi Knight yet?"

"What are you implying whelp?" the feline growled, causing Xana to shrink under her vicious gaze. "That I don't have the skill?"

"No, not at all!" she answered quickly. "You're perhaps the most skilled lightsaber combatant I've met, save from Master Vrook. But even for someone as skilled as you it would be extremely difficult to slay a Jedi Master. Are you absolutely sure you killed her?"

"I was in a frenzied state, my memory is blurred," the feline admitted slowly. "But I'm sure I delivered a death blow."

"Even if you delivered a death blow she might've recovered."

"Don't tempt me with false hope, human."

"Listen, you claim to have killed a Jedi Master here on Dantooine seven months ago. Isn't it strange that during the last six months I spent inside the enclave I haven't heard a thing about a murdered master? Such grave news would've greatly upset the community, certainly in times of war."

A flicker of uncertainty crossed the Cathar's face. "Strange indeed," she muttered. "But why would they make me believe I killed my master and leave me in my own misery in this grove?"

Xana thought about it. It seemed almost cruel to let a student suffer through such an ordeal. But then again, would they want such a formidable warrior like this Cathar going out of control? "Maybe they wanted you to experience this inner beast so you'll be better able to control it in the future?" she ventured. "Imagine the damage you could cause if you went into frenzy surrounded by civilians. Perhaps they did this to help you conquer your inner beast, just like they want us to conquer all our emotions."

"Conquer the inner beast?" The Cathar didn't sound very convinced.

"There have been other Jedi from your race before, right?" Xana said, slowly trying to figure it out. "If _all_ Cathar suffer from it I can imagine they've developed methods that allow them to better control this thing. They can't have their knights going out of control left and right."

"You know, that actually makes sense. If it's true the Jedi use crude methods for sure, to have me suffer through all that. Maybe they aren't as weak as I originally thought." She actually sounded pleasantly surprised; nothing indicated that she held a grudge against the Jedi for costing her seven months of her life. She got to her feet and started pacing around. "Has it worked?" she muttered to herself. "I _did_ have more self-control the second time."

Xana got to her feet as well, feeling stiff from the bruises and cuts. She ignored the pain for now. "Second time?" she inquired curiously. "The inner beast came out a second time after you killed your master?"

The Cathar turned to look at her. "When you killed my kath hounds."

"Y-you… I-I fought against you in your frenzied state?" Xana felt the floor sink away underneath her. "You could've killed me," she groaned.

"I'm surprised I didn't," the taller woman admitted. "Somewhere in my subconscious I must've concluded you were lower ranked, with the way you were stumbling around. My honor must've prevented me from slaying a whelp."

"The Jedi sent me into certain death," Xana growled in disbelief.

"You sound surprised." The Cathar said evenly. "Get used to it, whelp, it's what you were trained for."

The truth in that statement was strangely sobering. "Well, I… guess it is…" She looked at the Cathar hopefully. "So the fact I'm still alive means you've successfully conquered the beast?"

"Or it means you're simply so pathetic the beast didn't bother with you." It felt like an insult, but the way the Cathar said it was more like she was simply trying to draw conclusions.

"The burns on my back tell a different story," she countered, annoyed that this woman disregarded her abilities so offhandedly.

The Cathar studied her curiously. "Hmm, indeed. Maybe my self-control has improved after seven months of silent contemplation."

"Why don't you join me back to the enclave? I bet the Council has all the answers you need."

The feline hissed and Xana shrunk once again under her vicious gaze. "Don't order _me_ around, insolent whelp. Learn your place." The Cathar shook her head in disbelieve. "_One moment she shows she has a brain, the next she asks for a good beating with her stupidity_," she growled in Catharese. "_I guess I shouldn't be surprised, even the battlemaster back home had trouble comprehending these humans._"

Xana was taken aback by the sudden outburst and wondered where it came from. All she had done was make a suggestion, right? Why did she deserve a beating for trying to help? The Cathar was still shaking her head as she walked out of the grove and stared into the direction of the enclave. "_Master Dorak will have answers._" Without another look at Xana she sped off towards the enclave.

"Wait!" Xana called after her, surprised by the sudden action. "My…" The quick Cathar had already disappeared. "…lightsaber."

She let out the strangled sigh she had been holding back, suddenly overwhelmed by emotions as she fully processed the gravity of what just happened.

She had been defeated and very damn near killed.

The Cathar had shown Xana her place, the angry burns on her back and arms a silent testimony to that. But the worst injury of all was the gaping wound in her ego. Her pride had been deflated like a pinched balloon, the immortal goddess from just before the battle had shriveled up and died.

She realized now that the safety of the enclave had given her a false sense of security. Inside there she had felt like she could do anything. But after taking only a few steps out of the sanctuary her nonchalance had immediately been severely punished.

She had stared death in the eyes once again.

The excruciating thought hit her like a ton of bricks. Remembering the feral yellow eyes made her realize just how close to the edge she had been. The Cathar had effortlessly overwhelmed and almost killed her in her rage. Had her enemy been a fallen Jedi she would've died for sure.

Suddenly Xana wasn't so certain anymore if she could be of any use in this war.


	23. Promotion

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Six**

**Promotion**

* * *

How she had managed to return to the enclave was a mystery to Xana, but seeing the brown walls didn't bring any relief to the hurricane of emotions and thoughts inside her head. As she wordlessly slouched onto the bustling terrace bordering the front gates she saw a worried looking Bastila hurrying towards her. Even that sight did not bring her any solace, it only strengthened her shame.

"Xana, where have you been?" her master asked with a voice full of concern. "Juhani returned here almost an hour ago."

Who was Juhani? She couldn't care. After the sickening defeat at the hand of the Cathar she had spent a long time in the ancient grove, trying to comprehend the implications of her loss. Her future as a Jedi was looking very bleak at this point.

When Bastila reached her she looked her apprentice over, spotting the bruised eye, the clasping of her tender ribs and the cuts and burns on her arms. "Force, what happened for you?" she gasped. Xana didn't dare look her master in the eye, afraid of the condemnation and disappointment she might find there. Bastila walked around the raven-haired woman and saw the shredded robes with the pattern of cuts underneath. Her normally pale face turned a few shades whiter. "Has Juhani done this to you?"

"It doesn't matter," Xana mumbled weakly.

"She said she had only beaten you up a bit," the brunette complained, unable to hide her anger and worry. "Should've known the Catharese definition of 'beaten up a bit' isn't the same as the human one." As she closer inspected the dirty wounds on Xana's back she shook her head. "These aren't deep, but they have to be cleaned and healed before they get the chance to infect." She briskly wrapped her arm around the apprentice's shoulders and gently guided her inside the enclave. Xana followed meekly. As they were walking the brunette gave Xana's back another critical look. "Your back is covered in dirt, just _what_ happened to you?" Xana didn't have the energy to respond and Bastila didn't press.

Bastila brought her to their private quarters, not to the medical wing, possibly to protect her from any further humiliation. Once inside she was immediately ushered into the bathroom, and Bastila ordered Xana to undress while she busied herself with a bowl of hot water and disinfectant. When Xana was stripped down to her bra and panties she sat down sideways on the closed lid of the toilet, allowing Bastila to reach her back. The brunette drenched a soft cloth in the hot water and tenderly started washing out the wounds. Despite her soft touch Xana hissed when the antiseptic touched the searing wounds, but she didn't protest.

Bastila cleaned out the wounds gently but thoroughly, mustering up the patience of a Jedi. When she was satisfied she used the Force to heal the open cuts one by one, effectively stemming the bleeding. The knight was truly a skilled healer, because when she was done all that remained were slightly red marks, which were just a bit sensitive and tingly. Nothing indicated that the skin had been severely mutilated a few minutes ago. She assured her apprentice the red marks would be gone in a few days without leaving scars.

The knight then turned to her bruised ribs. A blue aura surrounded her hand as she assessed the damage. "No broken bones, just bruises. I can't do much healing to that, it's best to allow your body to recover naturally." Her hand moved over the bruised eye and Xana could feel the soft tingling of the Force. "Again, no fractures. You'll have an ugly black eye for a while, but to be honest you're lucky that's the worst damage Juhani has done. Knowing her she could've done you much more harm."

Xana mumbled a halfhearted response, but her mind was miles away. She had followed Bastila's treatment with distinct disinterest, mulling over how to break the bad news to her master, and how the brunette would respond. The knight got to her feet and looked Xana in the eyes, expression full of concern. "The Council will want to see us as soon as possible. Take a shower to make yourself representable, I'll fix a pair of fresh robes for you." When the apprentice remained silent she gently nudged her shoulder. "Xana?"

The sudden touch shook her out of her thoughts. "Wha…? Oh, right. Shower." She got to her feet and stretched, feeling incredibly stiff. Bastila moved out of the small bathroom to give her privacy. The olive-skinned woman shed her last two pieces of clothing and stepped under the shower, not allowing the water to warm up first, but letting the ice-cold stream wash over her in an attempt to freeze her thoughts. The sensitive red skin burned as the water gushed over the marks, but those sensations subsided once the water heated up.

Ten minutes later Xana walked out of the shower wearing fresh undergarments, hair still damp from the shower. Bastila had already placed a set of clean initiate's robes on the bed. "Get dressed, it's time to meet the Council."

Xana absentmindedly stroked the brown fabric of the robes. Her mouth involuntarily formed the question that had been plaguing her ever since her encounter with the Cathar. "Am I worthy of wearing these robes?" She still didn't dare looking Bastila in the eye.

The knight studied the apprentice's face. "Care to elaborate on that question?" she asked in a soft voice.

The apprentice turned to her master, for the first time since she arrived looking her in the eyes. "What use can I be in this war? I thought I was going to be an elite soldier – no, in my mind I had already _become _one. I somehow had the idea that I could singlehandedly defeat Malak," she said with a wry laugh. "Such a fool I was, I'm far from that."

The brunette folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow at her apprentice. "So you've established you won't be able to defeat the Dark Lord of the Sith in one-on-one combat. Care to point out how that makes you any less worthy of being a Jedi? Because I sure as Force don't see the connection."

Xana was getting annoyed. "Look, I got my ass handled to me by that Cathar. I stood literally _no_ chance, it was pathetic! Had she been a Sith I would've died, no question about it."

"I see," Bastila slowly said. "So because you've been defeated by Juhani you want to quit, is that it?"

"She didn't defeat me," the initiate replied shamefully, averting her gaze. "Defeat would mean there was any form of competition. There wasn't, I simply stood no chance."

Suddenly Bastila stepped forward and surprised Xana by slapping her across the cheek, sending pulses of stinging pain through her face. "Xana Grey, whatever you're doing to yourself right now, I demand you stop it at once!"

Xana's eyes grew wide as she grasped her burning cheek. The sudden violent outburst and peremptory tone of her master surprised her. "B-Bastila?"

Bastila took Xana's chin in her hand and forced their eyes to meet. "Do you lose all hope after facing just one defeat? You disappoint me deeply, I figured you had more backbone."

"You don't understand," Xana countered. "I. Stood. No. Chance."

Bastila tightened her grip around her chin and drew her face in another inch. The brunette's light grey eyes were downright scary right now. "And neither would I, if I were to be pitted against Juhani." Xana stared at her, not believing her words. "I mean it Xana," the knight pressed.

"You defeated Darth Revan," Xana said in perfect deadpan.

"I had a strike team with me that day, and the circumstances were completely different." Bastila's eyes were stern and determined. "Juhani belongs to the last generation of Cathar that grew up on their homeworld. She was subjugated to the doctrine of their warriors, meaning she was given her first spear as soon as she was able to walk – at the ripe age of three months, taking their fast growth into account. Before she had even mastered reading she could already hunt down a wild animal on her own, thanks to her constant and intensive training under a battlemaster. At the age of five years she was expected to hunt and provide for the clan."

Bastila's intent grey eyes were still locked into Xana's green ones and she didn't release her face. "Her connection to the Force was discovered when she was six years old. When she first arrived at this enclave she was already able to defeat most padawans in battle. Her battle prowess only improved in the eleven years of Jedi training. There's a very good reason she's one of Master Vrook's favorite students."

"Somehow I figured she and Vrook would get along," Xana muttered, the Cathar's harsh reprimands clear in mind.

"So tell me, Xana Grey. How did you figure out that with your six months of training you'd be able to defeat a formidable Jedi Knight with seventeen _years_ of training? Just who do you think you are? A goddess? Are you _that_ arrogant?" Bastila's words had become sharp as a razor and they hit home one by one.

"I-I'm arrogant?" Xana muttered in shock.

"Don't ask _me_, ask yourself," the brunette reprimanded. "But if you thought you had the skill to defeat _Darth Malak_ – the strongest undefeated Sith – maybe this Trial wasn't such a bad idea after all."

"You _knew_ they were going to put me through this?" Xana exclaimed, barely believing what she was hearing.

"Of course I knew," Bastila scolded. "The Council informed me about their plans and asked for my permission. I had my doubts at first, but I can see the necessity of their actions now."

"The necessity…" It was then that Xana's eyes were opened, the truth finally dawned to her in fullest. "This trial… I was meant to lose this battle, wasn't I?" The knight merely stared. "It was a lesson… to show me I can't beat everyone… to teach me I'm not immortal."

"You still have limits, Xana. Becoming a Jedi hasn't removed those limitations, it merely extended them."

"I was overconfident," the apprentice realized. "I thought my new powers would allow me to do fucking _anything_. But I was wrong, I'm nowhere near as good. Against a full-fledged Sith Lord I wouldn't stand a chance." She looked the knight back in the eye. "I'm afraid, Bastila." It was no more than a whisper.

Bastila let out a sigh. "It's about bloody time, you thickheaded, infuriating creature." To her surprise Bastila released Xana's chin and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her apprentice into a close hug. The soothing presence of her master surrounded her like a warm blanket, effectively shielding her from the cruel outside world and giving a great sense of security. She returned the hug and breathed in deeply, inhaling the sweet scent of the brunette, which reminded her of freshly fallen autumn leaves. "If you think death is the worst the Sith can inflict on you, you're gravely mistaken."

Her master's words surprised her, and she pulled back her head, meeting with slightly haunted grey eyes. "People aren't joining the Sith out of free will," she recognized.

Bastila let out a scornful snort. "Malak doesn't earn loyalty because he has such great plans for the galaxy. No, the Sith deploy a carefully laid out campaign of propaganda, terror and torture. Even the strongest of minds will break after months of constant torment. That's why it's critical we stay out of the Sith's hands. Your fear is well grounded."

Xana's eyes fell and a shudder went through her. Bastila pushed her chin back up, giving her a reassuring smile when their eyes met again. "But that doesn't mean we should be paralyzed by our fear. Because we still have a chance, if we can stand together. Answering your earlier question if you're worthy of wearing your Jedi robes: of course you are, you little fool. Do you honestly believe I'd spend six months away from war to train you, if I wasn't one hundred percent sure you'd become an exceptional Jedi Master one day? Maybe you can't defeat a Jedi Guardian of the Cathar race yet, but your wide array of skills and sheer willpower will be invaluable for the mission we're about to take on. I _need_ you."

Xana looked into the eyes of her master for a long time, feeling reassured and foolish at the same time. She _had_ been arrogant, she realized now. Her perception had gone askew inside the safe enclave, giving her a false sense of confidence and pride. By becoming a Jedi she had expected to have moved up to the very top of the food chain. She probably had, but it turned out the top had its very own gradations as well. Perhaps she could deal with the lowest of Force wielders with ease, but thinking she'd be able to deal with experienced Jedi Knights or Sith Lords was downright ridiculous. Her battle against the Cathar had opened her eyes.

It also dawned to her the Council hadn't made her Jedi for her battle prowess. Sure, she could stand her own and if her ability with the Force was to develop further she'd potentially be a true terror. But she wasn't to be the goddess of war that would turn the tide of war. This war couldn't be won by sheer firepower anymore, the Sith's overwhelming numbers made sure of that. No, Xana was to be an infiltrator, sneaking behind enemy lines to uncover the secrets of the Sith's dazzling resources. Once she had found it, it would take the combined might of the Jedi Order and the Republic fleet to root them out at the source.

"I have been an utter fool," she muttered to Bastila. She hung her head. "I'm sorry."

Bastila allowed herself a small smile. "I'm just glad you found out now, and not when we're knee-deep in trouble." Her smile grew bigger. "And it means your Trial has been successful. Not only have you recognized your overconfidence, you've helped Juhani redeem herself as well. I think your title of padawan is well earned."

The mention of the Cathar made Xana's mood drop. "You know, I really thought she was going to kill me." She eyed her master sharply. "And you _knew_ I was going to face an enraged Cathar."

"Xana, you needed to learn your strengths and limits before we leave for our mission. You _had_ to know how you'd fare against a full-fledged Knight. It pains me that I had to pit you against Juhani in her current state, but it was necessary. I'm your master, your safety is my responsibility and I can't guarantee it if you're marching straight into battle without thought." Her face became a bit flustered and she averted her eyes. "And I… care for you."

Xana immediately felt like a bitch for judging Bastila's actions so quickly. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "And thanks for caring." For a second they pulled each other close for a hug, savoring the security they found in each other's presence.

It was Bastila who broke the embrace, blushing slightly from the close contact with her half naked apprentice. "We've kept the Council waiting long enough. Get dressed so we can meet them."

* * *

The duo was allowed into the Council chambers immediately when they arrived, meeting with the full Council again. Master Vandar immediately took the word when they stood before them. "Please tell us what you have learned today."

"I've realized that by becoming a Jedi, I haven't become all-powerful or immortal," Xana answered soberly. "I've become spoiled during my time in the safety of the enclave. The Cathar made me realize my nonchalance could cost me my life one day. In fact, had she been a fallen Jedi I'm sure I would've died or been captured. When it comes to Force wielders I'm still very much at the bottom of the pecking order, which is something I'll have to start to respect if I wish to survive on our journey."

"Indeed? And how has this revelation changed the Xana we sent out to cleanse the grove this morning?"

"I thought I could deal with any Sith if I was given the chance. I can't. I have to be ever cautious when dealing with the enemy, and I certainly can't do it on my own. I'm going to need the support of others to succeed. Your Trial has knocked me off of my high throne and put me down to earth with both feet. Have I been too arrogant? Perhaps. Not anymore though. Today made me all too aware of my limits and my place in this galaxy. The arrogance has been replaced by a healthy dose of fear and respect for my enemy."

"Then the Trial has been a success," Vandar said with an approving nod. "We were concerned about your quick progression and the effect it might have on you. By becoming a Jedi, you acquire power beyond anything you have ever experienced. There are many Jedi who are unable to cope with that evolution. They become arrogant and gluttonous for even more. The Sith provide an easy answer for them, luring them in with false promises of unrestricted strength."

"Like I said at the beginning of my training, I've no desire of joining the Sith," Xana answered evenly. "Let alone acquire unrestricted strength."

"For which we are fortunate," the sage answered. "We have lost enough capable men and women to the Sith as it is."

"We can only hope today's battle has taught you enough caution not to do anything foolish on your journey," Master Vrook chimed in. "Knight Juhani has given us a detailed description about how you strutted into unknown territory and gotten defeated like an infant."

"It won't happen again," Xana answered through gritted teeth, still not liking the way Vrook spoke to her. "But may I point out my defeat didn't prevent me from carrying out the task I was given successfully?"

"Indeed," Master Dorak replied. "I must say I'm impressed, not many are able to calm down an enraged Cathar enough to the point where they could talk to them, let alone help them conquer the inner beast."

"Was it really necessary to let her wither away in that grove for seven _months_?" the apprentice asked. "Seems almost cruel from my point of view."

"To you it might seem like a long time," Dorak answered. "But in the lifetime of a Jedi it's almost nothing, and for the Cathar the rewards are worth the struggle. Some Cathar require years to overcome their berserker rage, so Juhani is quite lucky with her seven months. Which is a good thing, considering the war."

"So this was all part of your plans," Xana said with disdain. "What would happen if she had decided to embrace her inner beast rather than to conquer it, and run off to the Sith?" The human master shifted uncomfortably, giving her all the answer she needed. "You would've hunted her down and killed her."

"If a Cathar is unable to cope with her feral nature, she can't be allowed to threaten the galaxy. Certainly not by defecting to the Sith."

Xana was more and more under the impression the Jedi Order didn't value the lives of their students overly much. She herself was nearly killed by Juhani, and Juhani would've been assassinated were she to fail her test. Were these four Council Masters just doing their duty, or weren't they are strongly devoted to the light side as they claimed to be? Their actions didn't inspire much trust, but she decided not to press the subject.

"So what is this _inner beast_ exactly? I've never heard of it before."

"It's merely a name to give shape to something that isn't fully understood. Cathar are hot-blooded and passionate creatures, and this inner beast is the ultimate display of that. Some suffer from it worse than others, but once it strikes they are overwhelmed by an uncontrollable rage. The test we put Juhani through forced the beast to come out, allowing her to experience it. These experiences coupled with her Jedi meditations will give her a greater chance of preventing it in the future, and give her more control if it does come out."

"What exactly did you do to her, to make her lash out to her master like that?" Xana wanted to know.

"That is a matter between Juhani, Master Quatra, and the Council," Dorak answered. "But let her quarry be a lesson for you as well. Giving in to the inner beast for a Cathar is similar to a Jedi embracing the dark side. Juhani is both dedicated and true to the ideals of our Order, yet she was still vulnerable to these temptations, as are we all. She struck her master in anger and injured her greatly. But it was Quatra's choice to challenge the beast the way she did and it seems to have made its point. Juhani has been redeemed."

"And you have passed your final test," Master Vandar added. "Congratulations, apprentice. Or should I say, padawan? You have proven yourself worthy of joining the Jedi. Let me be the first to welcome you as a full-fledged member of our Order. There is little more for you to learn within this enclave, other than the theoretical. The time has come for you to go out in the field together with your master, to truly experience what is to be a Jedi. Your aid to the Republic and the Jedi Order in the war against the Sith is highly necessary."

"Thank you, Master Vandar," Xana answered politely.

"But for now you must rest," the sage said with fatherly concern. "Today's events no doubt worn you out." He turned to Xana's master. "Bastila, please return with your Padawan tomorrow at dawn, so we can fully discuss the details of your mission."

"Yes Master Vandar," Bastila replied with a polite bow, before turning on her heels to leave. Xana also nodded at the Council and followed her master.

* * *

The duo returned to their room to be able to discuss the events of the day in private. The knight smiled happily at the Padawan. "Congratulations Xana, your hard work has finally paid off."

"Couldn't have done it without you," the padawan said with a shrug. "You were harsh yet fair, and without your reprimands and encouragements I wouldn't have been able to grow so fast." She gave her master a toothy grin. "I'd say you've passed your test as well. Maybe it's time they promoted you to Jedi Master."

"We've both grown in the presence of each other, but it would be too early for me to be promoted," Bastila smiled. As she eyed the empty belt of her apprentice her face turned darker. "You still have to retrieve your lightsaber from Juhani."

Xana's face immediately fell. "I had hoped she had left it with you, or at least with the Council. I don't… look forward to facing the Cathar again."

"_You_ lost it, so _you_ will have to retrieve it," the brunette said sternly.

"I know, I know. I just… don't like her. No matter what I say to her, she only gets stuck-up or angry."

Bastila actually chuckled at that. "You're totally pegging her the wrong way, if you think she's stuck-up. She's just very blunt and direct with her observations and doesn't bother censoring her opinions. It's the way Cathar are, direct and honest. But they say once you've gained the loyalty of a Cathar, she will be at your side for the rest of your life."

"You seem to know a great deal about her," Xana observed.

"She came to the enclave eleven years ago," the master answered, voice faraway as she recalled the memories. "I had just been promoted to padawan and was allowed a bit more freedom in my dealings with other students. She was always a very interesting creature, so I spent some time with her."

"You two are friends?" the padawan asked in disbelieve.

"No… not really. Acquaintances, more likely. I'm not sure if Cathar are emotionally able to make friends, she has never given any indication to. But I respect her, and I guess she respects me as well."

"Any idea how to make my interactions with her easier?" Xana eagerly wanted to know.

"Not really, it's a bit of a struggle for me as well," the knight admitted. "Just remember to stay respectful at all times. Like you should with all your superiors, by the way," she added raptly.

"Fat chance that's gonna happen," Xana growled. She wasn't about to lick the heels of the Cathar, certainly not after all cruel things the feline had said and done to her.

Bastila let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine, be like this. You're responsible for your actions, so don't expect me to jump to your defense when you're being bludgeoned by an angry Cathar." She pointed to the door. "Juhani has room 36, go fetch your lightsaber," she ordered.

"As you wish master," Xana said with a mock bow, earning her an angry scowl from the brunette. She chuckled as she left the room.

* * *

Xana found room 36 quickly. She steadied herself and heaved a deep sigh before knocking on the door. After hearing some muffled movement behind it, the door slid open to just a crack and the Cathar peeked through it. When she saw who her visitor was she groaned. "Your timing is as dreadful as your ability with the lightsaber," she snarled, as she opened the door a bit further. Xana felt blood rush to her ears and neck when she saw the Cathar had shed the leather parts of her outfit. All that remained was the moss green catsuit that hugged every inch of her body like a second skin, revealing every single line of her sinewy body in full glory. Xana couldn't help but admire the beautiful shapes and curves. Hadn't Juhani been such a bitch she might've even attempted to flirt with her a bit, just for the fun of it.

"Are you going leer at me for the rest of the day?" the Cathar inquired, as she folded her arms impatiently.

"Umm, hello," the padawan greeted sheepishly, all too aware how her lecherous staring must've looked. The Cathar merely looked her in the eyes. "Juhani was it not?" she added, hating how nervous she sounded.

The Cathar looked down on her disdainfully. "The Council has promoted me to Knight."

Xana was trying to figure out what the woman was trying to say with those words. "Oh, err… congratulations, I guess?" The furious glint was relit in the Cathar's eyes and she tensed like she was going to lash out at Xana. She wondered how she had offended the alien this time. "So it's Knight Juhani now, right?" she said carefully, trying some small talk to ease the tension.

How she had done it she didn't know, but her words immediately calmed the feline. In fact she looked almost pleased, much to Xana's surprise and relief. Hearing sudden movement behind the Cathar made her aware of a second presence inside the small room. "Is that Initiate Grey, Juhani?" a female voice asked. The voice sounded familiar, but she couldn't immediately place it.

The Cathar's head snapped around. "Not now, Belaya," she said in a voice that was warm and commanding at the same time. "The initiate and I have some unfinished business to take care of."

Belaya, now she recognized the voice. Belaya was one of the Jedi Knights guards stationed at the enclave for its protection. She was a pretty human woman with smooth brown hair, so Xana hadn't been able to resist doing some innocent flirting. She had been surprised when the knight hardly responded to it, remaining stoic and almost sad whenever Xana had tried to break the ice. In retrospect the only way Xana knew Belaya was distanced and gloomy. Now she knew why, if she and Juhani were close. Having a good friend wither away in seclusion must be hard, certainly if you're not allowed to help her.

The yellow eyes turned blank once more as the Cathar regarded Xana, snapping her out of her thoughts. Once again she found herself wondering what was going on inside that head of hers. "You must be here for the debt," Juhani said evenly.

"Err… debt?"

"Killing my hounds and treating me with disrespect," the feline elaborated. The padawan watched her in disbelief; did this woman truly think she had come to apologize for _that_? Xana was the reason why Juhani was back in the enclave again, she wasn't about to bow down to her because of some fucking dogs. "In light of your other actions I've decided to relieve you of those debts," the Cathar continued in a neutral voice. "I was unaware of the machinations the Jedi used to help me to conquer my inner beast. If you hadn't opened my eyes to it I would still be in the grove, mourning the faked death of my master."

The padawan grinded her teeth, she couldn't believe the way this woman was treating her. "I'm glad you've found the kindness in your heart to relieve me of my debts, _Knight_ Juhani." Her words were dripping with sarcasm, this spoiled brat should be _thanking_ her for snapping her out of her self-pity.

Much to her surprise Juhani gave her an approving nod and relaxed completely. "As you should be, I was told not many humans are able to cope with being indebted to a Cathar." Juhani looked down on her blankly and Xana returned the look in disbelief, unable to comprehend what was going on. Had the sarcasm just flown straight over the alien's head?

"I…" She tried to come up with something to say, but couldn't find the words. Another small victory for the Cathar, not many were able to silence Xana. Realizing she'd probably never understand this woman she gave up, deciding to cut to the chase. "You still have my lightsaber."

"Keen observation." The feline tilted her head slightly, hinting at a curiosity that never reached the rest of her impassive face.

"I want… can I have it back? Please?" If she'd be impolite this woman was bound to refuse returning her weapon. Losing her lightsaber was shameful enough as it was, she wasn't going to have to rely on Bastila to get it back. She could already hear Juhani's taunting words. _Crawl back to your masters, whelp_.

Juhani lifted her hand without ever looking away from Xana, sending the lightsaber flying straight into it with the Force. She offered it to the padawan in her outstretched palm, who quickly grabbed it. "Thank you," she muttered. She wished the Cathar would stop staring her in the eyes so intently, it made her slightly nervous.

"Relinquishing your weapon to an opponent is a warrior's greatest disgrace." She said it with the air of someone pointing out that grass was green, but the insult hit Xana like a dagger. Juhani didn't press the matter any further, but took a silent step backward. "Now leave us alone." She shut the door right in the Padawan's face.

Xana let out the ragged sigh she had been holding back, a strange mixture of anger, shame and fear overwhelming her. How could this woman have such an effect on her? She stared at the closed door, already knowing the answer. She couldn't read Juhani, she was like a closed book to her. Her face was devoid of any emotion, as blank as a clouded sky at a moonless night. No matter how hard she tried to figure out what was going on in her head and how she could possibly manipulate it, she found nothing. Not the slightest trace. Words she thought would have a positive effect only backfired on her by enraging the feline.

Slowly she turned away from the door. As she slouched away she made up her mind; she'd simply stop caring about the pretentious Cathar. There were bigger things to worry about, tomorrow she'd start carrying out her new duties as padawan. Soon she would leave the enclave altogether and she wasn't planning on coming back. It was a big galaxy out there, there was no reason to believe she'd ever run into the Cathar again.

She allowed herself a smug grin. If she was lucky – which she usually was, considering her scoundrel's luck – she'd never meet the nasty creature ever again. That thought lifted her spirits considerably, and she started humming a cheerful tune as she made her way back to her room.


	24. Of Cats and Banthas

**A/N:** Wow, after last chapter this story has gotten over 100 followers. It's kinda unreal how many people are reading this, the internet is truly a wonderful medium. Thanks for all the support and reviews I'm getting, I love you all. Next week will be my last hectic week, because I'll (hopefully) graduate next Thursday. After that I'll probably have much more time and liking to write, meaning faster updates.

For all the purists (or historians, if you will): As you may have noticed earlier, Cathar's destruction was pushed a couple of years forward. It now happens much closer to the start of the Jedi's intervention during the Mandalorian Wars. Kotor's timeline is a mess to begin with and this story already has some AU elements, so I hope you don't mind. And if Bioware can tinker with it for their mmo, so can I.

Onwards!

* * *

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Seven**

**Of Cats and Banthas**

* * *

_The vast desert of Cathar lay stretched before them, a harsh and inhabitable environment consisting mainly of sand and reddish rocks. A sandstorm buffeted Revan as she was running through the massive expanse. She silently thanked Meetra for giving her the large sand goggles, and the Cathar for providing her with the black scarf that was wrapped around her head. Her entire face was covered, effectively blocking out the raging sand._

_The Jedi Knight was accompanied by Princess Rhawones and her guard, a group of seventeen female Cathar soldiers led by Battlemaster Aviendha. All of them, the princess included, were wearing tight fitting coats of soft brown and red colors, giving them some camouflage against the desert backdrop. Their faces were covered by black scarfs which were wrapped around their necks, faces and heads. Their weapon of choice was the spear. All of them were tall, the smallest of the group still towered a good six inches above Revan._

_Clouds of black smoke rose on the horizon and the air was vibrant and reddish. A city was burning. Worry clasped the throats of the group as they made their way to the source of the smoke. Part of Revan wanted the princess to stay behind, but she knew the proud Cathar would have nothing of it. They reached the city, which was devastated and laid to ashes. Dead bodies were littering the outskirts, belonging to both Cathar and the source of this madness: the Mandalorians. As they moved through the eerily silent streets the smell of scorched flesh reached their nostrils. Revan nearly gagged from the sickening smell and quickly embraced a light Force-trance to block it out._

"_Do you believe us now?" Princess Rhawones asked angrily, eyes red from the airborne ashes and loss of her people. "A city of over fifty thousand souls is assimilated. Is this what your Order calls 'innocent skirmishes'?"_

"_No," Revan growled, desperately trying to keep her voice steady as the cruel truth dawned on her. "The High Council has lied to us. Those fucking Mandalorians aren't as harmless as they want us to believe. This is… brutal."_

"_What will you do, Knight Revan?" the princess demanded. "Will you allow the Jedi to keep turning a blind eye while the Outer Rim burns? While my people burn?" The Cathar princess also had trouble keeping the emotion from her voice, her species' burning passion only strengthened her anger and despair._

"_I will go to the High Council, force them to see reason. If not…" Revan looked at the destruction around her and her face turned grim. "If not, I will take matters into my own hands. Rally all Jedi willing to listen, willing to fight for our cause." She grabbed Rhawones' shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "The Outer Rim will not be forgotten."_

_The Cathar Princess gave her a grateful nod. "I only hope your aid will not come too late."_

_Suddenly Revan felt a flicker through the Force. A Force-sensitive being was desperately fighting for its life. Without thought she fully embraced the Force and used it to slow down her surroundings, giving her tremendous speed. She traced the creature's source and rushed off towards it._

_After rounding a couple of corners in the destroyed city she found what she was looking for. A young Cathar girl who could be no older than six years old was surrounded by five Mandalorians, who were taking turns to attack the poor thing. Apparently they had found a good match, because the girl had already killed two of them. But Revan noticed her strength was waning, as her tired arms could barely hold on to her spear anymore._

_Searing hot anger boiled up in Revan's stomach. In one Force-sped rush she was at the girl's side, skipping through the enemies' line effortlessly, and she pulled the young Cathar protectively against her. The air around her became alive with energy as she molded the Force into a massive whirlwind. Revan and the girl were in the eye of a storm that gathered hubris at a horrifying rate. The five remaining Mandalorians were pelted with bricks, beams, spears… everything that wasn't secured to the ground. The sickening sound of breaking bones and ripping sinews was all around them, until every single Mandalorian lay dead around them._

_As soon as the storm died down Princess Rhawones and her guard came rushing towards them. "You saved this girl's life," the princess remarked gratefully. "You truly are a friend of the Cathar."_

_Revan wanted to bend down to pick up the girl, but the young Cathar clamped against her savior so tight it was impossible to. "Hey girl," the knight said softly, while patting the girl's head. The girl looked up with two massive golden eyes. The eyes and face simply radiated fury. Revan could feel her heart melt and her rage grow, wondering how anyone could do this to an innocent young girl. "You okay?"_

"_They killed my parents," the girl said through gritted teeth. Her anger sent ripples through the Force and Revan knew right then she was dealing with a potential Jedi, and a strong one at that. "If you hadn't saved me they would've killed me too." Her grasp around Revan tightened even more and she kept staring up at her with her big yellow eyes._

_Revan gave the girl's shoulder a comforting squeeze, hopefully letting her know everything was going to be alright. "What's your name, kid?"_

"_It's Juhani, __**master**__."_

* * *

Xana shot up straight in her bed, eyes wide and cold sweat streaming off her body. Another vision, another _fucking real_ vision. Bile shot up in her throat as the smell of charred flesh lingered in her nose, almost as if the burning bodies were lying right next to her. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself and calm her mind. She forced her brain to put things into perspective.

What she had just witnessed was the prelude to Cathar's sad destruction, through the eyes of a young Revan. Apparently the Juhani she had fought this morning had once been saved by the Sith Lord, those livid yellow eyes and facial markings left no doubt that the two were one and the same.

But why? Why did the Force bother showing Revan saving a young Juhani? She remembered Master Vandar, who claimed the Force was binding Bastila and herself together to guide them on a destined path. Was the Force forging such a connection between her and Juhani as well?

She quickly shook her head to clear her mind of that vile thought, it was something she didn't want to think about. The Bond she shared with Bastila was incredibly personal, having something like that with the unpleasant Cathar would be hellish. It couldn't be what the Force was trying to tell her. Maybe it was just giving her a nice little newsflash of Juhani's past. Or perhaps it wanted to rub it in that Juhani was saved by Revan, while the Dark Lord had left Xana to die when the scoundrel blasted herself and her pirate crew to smithereens.

She shook her head again, now she was simply getting ridiculous. She'd discuss it later with Bastila, her clever master might have better answers. Speaking about her master, the room was sorely lacking the brunette's presence. After the tiring events surrounding her promotion Bastila had ordered her to get an afternoon nap, before leaving the room to allow her some peace. She hadn't returned after that.

Xana yawned and stretched, feeling stiff as a board from the mauling she had received from Juhani. Despite the stiffness and weird vision the few hours of sleep had refreshed her. It had also settled down the whirlwind of emotions and insecurities inside her head. The defeat against Juhani didn't weigh down on her so much anymore, no longer did she feel like she had an insurmountable lack of ability. It felt more like an eye-opener, a wakeup call at exactly the right moment. Still, her pride was wounded, being defeated so easily by an arrogant seventeen year old brat.

With a sigh she got out of bed and opened the curtains, giving her the now familiar view of the Dantooine grasslands, a sight which never ceased to be amazing. Dantooine's star _Dina_ still stood high in the sky, but her stomach indicated the afternoon was almost coming to an end. She scratched the back of her head lazily and yawned again, deciding she'd take a quick shower to wash away the cold sweat.

After a refreshing shower she quickly dressed up in her brown Jedi robes. Just as she was done the door slid open. A positively _fuming_ Bastila stepped through, pulling Mission along by the arm. The poor girl looked scared out of her wits, making Xana frown and wonder what had happened. She knew the two of them didn't really like each other, but it took a lot for Bastila to get truly angry with the girl.

"Xana!" Bastila called disdainfully when the door had closed behind them. Her furious grey eyes were like molten silver right now. "You and your brat need to have a serious chat."

"M-my brat?" Xana inquired, shrinking a bit under the stern gaze. "Something happen?"

Bastila shoved the Twi'lek girl forward. "Tell her what you did, Mission."

The girl shuffled nervously on her feet and didn't dare meet Xana's eyes. She muttered something unintelligible, Xana could only pick up the words 'bantha' and 'enclave', which didn't make a whole lot of sense. "Louder girl," the knight admonished harshly.

"I lured a bantha into the enclave," she finally said aloud.

For an awkward moment Xana just stared at the girl. "You did _what_?" she finally managed to ask.

Mission anxiously looked up to meet Xana's eyes. "I lured a bantha into the enclave," she said again.

Xana's mouth dropped open to say something, _anything_, but she couldn't find the words for something this ridiculous, so she snapped the useless appendage close. This was a joke, it _had_ to be. Sure, they both looked way too serious for it to be faked and Bastila didn't _do_ jokes, but still… "A bantha? Into the enclave?" The girl only nodded. "Where did you find a bantha?"

"At a farm just south of the enclave," she muttered. "It was a domestic one, used to pull the cart."

"Tell her the rest of the story," Bastila gruffly ordered.

"Once it got inside it started to panic. It ran into the library and up the stairs to the second floor."

Xana blinked, trying to imagine a burly bantha in these hallways. "You got a bantha into the enclave and it ran to the second floor of the library?" she asked weakly. Mission nodded again.

"The _entire_ story, Miss Vao."

Mission flinched from the Knight's angry words and quickly continued. "Err… you see, Banthas are able to climb stairs, but… but they can't go down them again. They err… they sorta had to… put it down… They had to drag out the dead body."

Xana, being the visually oriented creature that she was, could see the entire scene unfold before her, like a small movie playing in her brain. She snorted from the outrageousness of it and then couldn't help bursting out in cheerful laughter. "M-Mission, that's… just aw-awesome," she managed between fits of laughter. The girl smiled sheepishly and then started laughing with her, clearly glad her boss wasn't angry with her.

Bastila was a completely different story though, as her angry scowl deepened even more. "Awesome? You think killing an innocent creature is _awesome_?"

The padawan noticed the danger and tried to make a straight face, but failed miserably. "C-come on Bastila," she chuckled. "You gotta admit it's funny."

"Care to explain how it's funny to the angry farmer that came to redress his dead bantha? Or the janitors who had to clean this mess up?" Xana just snorted, then burst into laughter yet again, bending over and leaning heavy on her knees "You are unbelievable," the master groaned. "And here I was thinking you'd be reprimanding your girl harshly for her foolish act."

"Anything I'd say would pale in comparison to what you've no doubt already said," the padawan said between gleeful hiccups.

"That's no excuse!" Bastila spat. She took a step forward and grabbed Xana by the ear, pulling it hard. "She's _your_ girl, so her actions are _your_ responsibility."

"She's not mine," Xana countered, while trying to pull her ear free. The sudden pain immediately subdued her cheer. "She's a woman of her own."

"Both of you try to defend so desperately that Mission isn't a child. But this immature action shows she's nowhere near grown-up yet, and therefor she needs a strict guardian. That person is _you_, because you're the only one she accepts."

"Fine, fine," the apprentice sighed. "Mission, get over here." The Twi'lek girl did as she was told. Xana sat down on her knees, grabbed both the girl's shoulders and looked her in the eyes, trying to look stern. "What you did was against the rules. You really pissed off a lot of Jedi with your actions." Mission looked at the floor shamefully. "Why did you do it anyway?"

The girl looked back up. "I heard you were defeated by that Cathar woman and knew you'd take it badly. I wanted to cheer you up. I had hoped to wake you up in time so we could enjoy the rampage together, but Bastila caught me before I could reach you." Mission gave her a sheepish, apologetic grin.

Aww, Xana could feel her heart melt right then, her Blue was just too adorable and endearing sometimes. She wanted to lock the girl in a warm embrace to thank her for her efforts, but they were still watched by a very disgruntled Bastila, so she refrained from that. "While I appreciate the sentiment, you should obey the… obey…" She just couldn't finish the sentence, knowing how hypocritical she'd sound. "Ah, damn it all. That was fucking impressive Blue, how'd you pull it off?"

Bastila heaved a frantic sigh, while Mission smirked. "The hard part was nicking some bantha fodder and releasing the bantha from its pen." Mission gave her a mischievous smile. "The rest was a matter of careful planning and stealth."

Xana barked a loud laugh and gave the girl a big hug. "I'm so damn proud of you, that's my girl." She pulled back and looked more serious. "Although… you _did_ get caught."

The girl cocked an eyebrow and looked offended. "No I didn't. No one saw me. Miss Bastila made a _guess_ I had done it, I think she's some sort of seer or something. She interrogated me." Mission shuddered and leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Her eyes are super freaky when she's angry, she _forced_ me to admit."

"Poor thing," Xana said sympathetically, while rubbing the girl's back. "Even _I_ get scared when she gets angry."

"What are you patting her back for?" the knight scowled. "Aren't you going to reprimand her for her misbehavior?"

"C'mon Bastila," Xana reasoned. "Even you have to admit it was pretty damn impressive, leading a bantha in under the noses of all those Jedi."

"Impossible," Bastila groaned. "Bloody impossible, both of you. I should've known you'd encourage this kind of adolescent mischief, seeing how Mission's a spitting image of you. If I didn't know better I'd say you two are sisters, or mother and daughter even."

Suddenly Xana could feel Mission tense up in her arms, and when she looked at her the girl was wearing a pained expression, full of neglect and longing. "M-Mission?"

As quickly as the expression had come it disappeared again, making way for one of played disgust. "Who'd want Grey as a mother?" she joked with a forced grin. "You must be seriously off your bonkers."

Xana studied the girl. Her joke had clearly been halfhearted, did Mission want more from Xana than the simple relationship as friends they shared now? She saw the frail being in her arms and decided not to push the issue right now. "Hey! I'm not that bad," she said quasi-offended, playing along with the joke. The Twi'lek just stuck out her tongue, causing Xana to chuckle again and easing the tension.

"Fine," Bastila snapped. "You've crossed the line, both of you. If _you_ won't take responsibility, _I_ will," she told Xana pointedly. "You can both think of the consequences of your actions when you're sleeping under the stars tonight. _Without_ a pillow or a blanket."

"Not again," Xana groaned. She had spent countless of nights under the Dantooine sky without a blanket, which was quite the torture considering the sharp drop of temperature at night. But then again, this would be the first time she'd be accompanied by Mission, so it wouldn't be _that_ bad. "I understand master," she sighed. No point in making matters worse by going into a discussion she'd certainly lose.

The Twi'lek's face fell, but she knew she deserved being punished and she was too afraid of Bastila to go against her will. "Yes, Miss Bastila," she muttered.

"At least you still have the presence of mind to accept your punishment without being foolish," the knight told them with a small sigh. Most of her rage vanished, Bastila wasn't someone who continued being angry once she thought proper justice had been dealt. "Just be glad I won't report this to the Council, I'm sure their punishment wouldn't be as feeble as mine."

Mission nodded at the knight, then grinned when she knew she was off the hook. She turned back to Xana and hugged her tightly. "_Congratulations_ with your promotion," she cheered.

"Thanks Blue," the padawan smiled warmly. She pointed at her black eye. "Wasn't easy, but I pulled it off."

"Just admit you did in on purpose," the Twi'lek giggled. "You want your skin to be as pretty blue as mine."

"I do," Xana laughed. "Guess it didn't work, ey?"

"Nope, you're still ugly," Mission replied playfully, causing a pout from her boss. "So show me the goods!"

"Err… which goods?"

"Your new lightsaber of course, you daft oaf! Didn't your promotion mean you could finally ditch the blue flashlight and get your hands on the good stuff?"

"It sure did," Xana grinned, while drawing her new lightsaber and activating the yellow beam.

"Eeeeeew," Mission exclaimed, watching the saber with playful disgust.

"Eew, what?" Xana asked gruffly, not liking the tone of her brat.

"Same color as Bastila's," she pointed out. "Is this some kind of Jedi equivalent to wedding rings or something?"

Xana grinned and didn't have to look at Bastila to know her ears would be gathering blood at a rapid rate right now. "That's all wrong, you little jackass," she chuckled, while pinching Mission's cheek affectionately.

"Mwemme gwo," the Twi'lek mumbled, as she tried to pull Xana's hand way.

"The color of the blade represents the branch the Jedi has joined," Bastila pointed out, as dignified as she could muster, considering the light blush on her cheeks. "The fact that our blades are of the same color merely means we are part of the same branch."

"You reckon her brain has a fun filter or something?" Mission huffed. "Not an ounce of fun, that one." She turned back to Xana with a disappointed pout. "So no engagement yet, huh?"

The padawan chuckled, but her master's growl cut through her. "For the thousandth time, that's never going to happen."

"She sounds less certain each time," the Twi'lek said triumphantly. She patted Xana's back sympathetically. "Don't worry, I give it a few more weeks before we fully crumble her resolve."

"Keep this up and you'll never sleep in a bed ever again," the brunette threatened.

"Pfft, I'm just trying to help," Mission all but whined. "Sometimes you're just unreasonable and mean, Miss Bastila."

The brunette did look a bit ashamed under the charm offensive, but she didn't back down. "You're not helping at all." Mission wanted to say something, but Bastila raised a warning finger at her, causing the girl to shrink back and swallow her words. "Let's go to the cantina," the brunette said snappily. "I'm hungry."

"Me too!" Mission cheered with a wanton smirk. "I could totally eat a bantha." Xana laughed at that, but Bastila walked out of the room pretending she hadn't heard. The Twi'lek leaned over to her boss. "Few more weeks," she whispered in her ear. "Mark. My. Words."

Xana shook her head and grinned, she truly didn't know what she had done to deserve such a loyal, kind kid like Mission in her life. With her prank and goofy words to Bastila she had lifted her gloomy mood effortlessly. She wrapped an arm around the girl's shoulder and followed her master to the cantina, feeling much better than before her nap.

* * *

After dinner Xana decided to spend an hour or so at the library. Her latest vision had reawakened her curiosity in Force Bonds, so she wanted to reread all files about them. Right now was perfect, the library was deserted at this time of the day. When she entered she saw no traces of Mission's dead bantha, the janitors had probably cleaned up the mess already. She gathered the files she was looking for and settled down in a comfortable chair to read.

A few minutes later she was approached by a Jedi Knight. It was Belaya, the brunette that had befriended Juhani. "Hey Xana," she greeted with a small smile. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Xana answered, while closing the file and gesturing to the chair in front of her. "Sit down."

The brunette sat down and looked at the Padawan seriously. "Xana, I wanted to thank you for bringing Juhani back to m… to the enclave." She blushed a bit when she stumbled on her words. "I-I'm very grateful, she's a good friend."

Xana smiled internally as the pieces clicked into place. "You're welcome, Belaya," she answered sincerely. "But you two are more than just friends, aren't you?" she added in a whisper, a small grin spreading across her lips.

Belaya's eyes grew wide and her face turned pale. "H-how did you…" She suddenly looked scared and desperate. "No one can ever know about this!"

"Hey, calm down," Xana soothed immediately. "I'm not snitching on you. I think it's great the two of you have found love and pursue it, despite the Code and the general consensus on homosexual relationships. I wish things were that easy with Bastila." Her face fell.

Belaya calmed down and looked sympathetically at her, albeit a bit surprised. "You two as well?"

"Yeah," the padawan muttered. "Or actually, no. There's mutual attraction and something brewing, but Bastila seems afraid of her feelings." She looked up at the knight hopefully. "How did you manage to convince Juhani having a relationship isn't bad, despite what the Council says?"

The brunette smiled. "It was the other way around, in fact. We've been friends ever since we were little, and slowly fell in love over the years. Juhani wanted to surrender to her feelings, but I was afraid. Afraid of the Code, afraid of the masters, afraid of the dark side. So I told her I wasn't interested." She chuckled. "What an idiot I was, fooling a Cathar isn't that simple. All my actions had made it already clear I was very much in love with her, and it turns out those blasted creatures are able to smell pheromones. Apparently those rose sky-high whenever I lay my eyes on her."

"They can smell hormones?" Xana asked weakly, hardly believing what she was hearing.

"Smell, or otherwise sense, dunno exactly." Her smile grew wide. "Try telling a woman 'no' when she's getting so horny from your smell her knees start to buckle."

"You're very open about it," the padawan remarked, feeling a bit surprised about the woman's sudden change of character.

"Ah, s-sorry," the brunette muttered. "I didn't mean to… I just… I never had someone to discuss these things with. Living in secret is hell, certainly if you want to shout your happiness to the entire universe. And you always seemed so… provocative with your sexual innuendos, I thought you wouldn't mind."

"Relax, I don't mind at all. I must admit I like having someone to talk about these things, seeing how this place is filled with uptight bastards. So please speak your mind."

Belaya grinned in relief. "Awesome! Well, as I was saying, Juhani knew I was in love with her. And if a Cathar gets something in her head she'll pursue it to the very end." Belaya chuckled again, a longing look appearing in her eyes. "I became her prey, and she didn't give up until I was hers."

"She wasn't afraid of the Code then?" the padawan wanted to know.

"Oh, she was. But she grew up on Cathar, and marriage was an extremely important part of their culture. Their lives were harsh and love was considered the greatest gift of their Goddess, bringing joy in their otherwise bleak existence. Disrespecting that gift was downright blasphemy, ignoring love was simply not done. So if there was mutual love between two Cathar they always got married, regardless of social status or gender."

"So her fear of the Goddess overruled her fear of the Council?"

"Yep." Belaya let out an amused laugh. "And Juhani is a persistent bitch, so here we are."

"That won't really help me," Xana said with a sad smile. "It seems the more I try to trigger Bastila, the further she pushes me away."

The brunette squeezed Xana's shoulder. "Don't worry, she'll come around. Give it time, once she realizes what a beautiful woman she's missing out on, her fear for the Council will melt like snow in the sun."

"Thanks," Xana muttered with a tiny laugh.

"And if she keeps refusing you, I can wholeheartedly recommend a Cathar woman," she added with a naughty twinkle in her eyes. "They're loyal to no end and they make excellent lesbian lovers."

"Oh?" the Padawan smirked, getting curious. "How so?"

"Well, first of all they're awesome cuddling partners. Their skin is much softer than human skin, almost fluffy. Perfect to curl up against after a long day of work."

"Somehow I hadn't pegged Juhani for the cuddling type," Xana remarked dryly.

"She has her tender moments," Belaya answered with a warm smile. A smile that quickly grew lewd. "But the sex is just… extreme."

Xana had to laugh, she started to like this woman very much. "Now you have me curious," she grinned, while leaning forward.

Belaya chuckled and pointed at her mouth. "It's in the tongue y'know? Theirs is very long and muscular. Flexible… strong… wet… intrusive…" She shuddered a bit. "Just perfect."

Xana couldn't help but laugh and shook her head. "And I take it that tongue gave you no rest this afternoon?"

"Seven months is a long time," the knight winked. "And I believe I'm not off the hook just yet, her libido and stamina are off the charts. It's going to be a long night."

"I knew you were a naughty girl when I first lay eyes on you," Xana smirked.

"And if I weren't yet taken I might've given in to your flirts," Belaya answered with a twinkle in her eyes, briefly scanning over Xana's body and face. "But I wouldn't betray Juhani no matter what" she added more seriously. "She's the best girlfriend one could ever wish for." She shuddered a bit, wearing a fearful expression. "And she'd probably mangle me if I cheated on her."

"Forcing you into a relationship and threatening you into submission… if she hadn't almost killed me and treated me like dirt I'd be very jealous." Xana grinned widely.

Belaya chuckled again. "I had to endure an hour long tirade about how disrespectful you had been to her, and how she couldn't comprehend the human race at all." She cocked an eyebrow. "You must've left quite an impression, maybe _I_ should be the one feeling jealous."

The padawan snorted. "Well, don't worry, I prefer my girls with a little more meat on the bones," she said with a playful wink.

This time it was Belaya's turn to snort. "Sure, sure. You're just afraid of what Bastila would do if she found out. You might laugh about me submitting to Juhani, but I know exactly who's the one in charge in your relationship. And that person isn't a muscular ex-marine."

"I'm afraid you're right, Bastila is bossy," Xana admitted with a sheepish grin. "That's the problem with beautiful women, they can get whatever they want. All they have to do is look at you with their gorgeous eyes and all resistance melts."

"Oh? So you think Juhani is beautiful then?" the lnight wanted to know with a wide smirk.

"Even a blind man could see that," the Padawan answered honestly. "She has this thing about her… a raw type of beauty with a hint of feral danger behind it, if you know what I mean."

"Eww, I _knew_ you were checking her out, you pervert."

"Did not," Xana grinned. "All you were asking was if I thought she was pretty, which I simply answered honestly. That doesn't mean I was planning to make a move on her." An involuntarily shudder went through her. "She'd probably rip me to shreds if I tried."

"She definitely would," Belaya agreed, sounding surprisingly serious. "Cathar don't believe in sex without love, so she'd consider it a massive offense if you tried to work your way in her panties."

"Thanks for the warning," the padawan offered sincerely. Knowing herself she might just have tried some innocent flirting with the Cathar, just for the thrill. "You might've saved my life with that."

"You can stop looking at her like that altogether," the knight smirked possessively. "She's _mine_!"

"Yeah, yeah. Implying _you_ never checked out _my_ Bastila."

"Oh definitely," Belaya admitted readily with a lewd grin. "She has always been a pretty one, that girl. The textbook example of a classic beauty. But she was always so frigid and cold, I never even knew she swung our way."

"Otherwise you would've made a move?"

"Oh no," the knight answered immediately, looking a bit scared. "I never even _considered_ starting a relationship. Not until Juhani forced me to see the truth about the Code."

Now Xana was truly curious. "What truth is that exactly?"

The other woman smiled knowingly. "There is no passion, there is serenity? In this sentence, passion implies lust without love. The Code says nothing about loving each other."

"So making love is something different than passion?"

"Of course! Lovemaking is the ultimate demonstration of care and affection, passion has nothing to do with it."

"But what about that other line? There is no emotion?"

At that Belaya merely shrugged. "We're the good guys, aren't we? We act out of our love for the galaxy and our wish to preserve it. We're even supposed to love our master or apprentice. Why allow us to love those, but make an exception for our spouse? Seems hypocritical."

Xana couldn't help but smile. "You've given a very good interpretation of the Code."

"That's the problem with ancient, vague texts," the brunette shrugged. "Different people will explain them differently. So how do we know which interpretation is the right one?"

"The Council will claim theirs is the one and only. But _I_ prefer yours." Xana's shoulders sagged a bit. "Now to convince Bastila of that fact."

"If you want, Juhani and I could have a talk with your master, convince her of our point of view."

"Thanks for the offer," the padawan smiled. "But no thanks. This is something the two of us will have to work out together."

"Fair enough. Just don't hesitate to ask me for help, if you ever need it." She smiled warmly. "I owe you one."

"Thanks Belaya, I appreciate it."

"Well, I gotta go. I've kept Juhani waiting for too long already." The brunette winced a bit. "_She_ calls it possessiveness, but _I_ know that's just a fancy word for jealousy." With a final smile and wink the knight left.

Xana smiled as she watched Belaya leave the library. The knight's open and kind behavior was a far cry from the cold and sad woman she had been just a few days ago. It was simply incredible how Juhani affected her. She also felt a pang of jealousy. The knight had a wonderful night full of pleasure to look forward to, while she would be out in the cold grasslands of Dantooine, trying to get some sleep.

She and Bastila would need to have a serious chat somewhere in the very near future.


	25. Warmth

**A/N:** Sorry about the long delay again, life is hectic at the moment. I (finally) graduated, so I'm now looking for a job. It takes a lot of time and is quite stressful, and with the crisis it's not easy to find something as a starter. Luckily I already have a fulltime job which pays decently enough, but it's not in my field of work so I want to find something else.

But I thank you all for your kind PM's and concern, it does me well to know people are interested in me and the story. As thanks for your PM's, reviews, follows and favorites, and to make up for the delay, I've made an extra-long chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Eight**

**Warmth**

* * *

All sensations were replaced by the thick waves of overwhelming energy, pulsating and vibrating like the overheated air above an inferno. It took over everything as it filled the large chamber, even the oxygen that somehow didn't feel like such a necessity anymore. There was one thing that mattered and one thing only: an extreme force of nature encompassing everything, down to the very foundations of life.

An awestruck whisper left Xana's mouth. "What a tremendous power."

"The Force, in all its unbridled glory," Bastila announced. She had to smile from the impressed tone of her apprentice, she had never seen Xana so curious and enthralled at the same time, almost like a small child. "Can you feel it tingle through your entire body?"

As promised Bastila had taken Xana to a small system of caverns not far from the Dantooine enclave. The Force was so incredibly dense here that it had actually solidified into a physical shape. Over the many centuries it had evolved and changed, turning into multicolored crystals, the very crystals used as a focusing medium for the Jedi's lightsabers. The underground chamber was filled with these crystals, all emitting a faint light that bathed the area in a strange, almost eerie glow.

"Incredible," Xana muttered in awe. "It feels like it stimulates every single fiber of my being."

The master chuckled. "I remember coming here for the first time, being just as overwhelmed as you are. Maybe even more so, considering I was just five years old."

The padawan turned to the knight and smiled warmly. "D'awww, that must've been so cute, little five year old Bastila." Her eyes nearly melted from the adoration as she tried to visualize the little girl.

"Perhaps, but I didn't feel very cute at that time," the brunette said, unable to prevent a small blush from forming on her cheeks. "I was both overwhelmed and terrified by all new experiences that came with joining the Jedi Order." She sighed and her eyes turned inward. "All alone, for the first time in my life without my parents."

This surprised Xana, as she had never heard Bastila mention her parents before. She had always just assumed that the brunette had been an orphan or abandoned, like most of the Jedi. Judging by Bastila's longing eyes, she had once been loved by her parents, so it didn't make sense that they had severed all ties.

"Why did they leave you with the Jedi? If I had children, I'd never relinquish them to some order against their will, no matter how noble it pretended to be." She had to think of Mission. Had the Twi'lek been her daughter she'd never abandon her, unless the little thief really wanted to go. The strange thought of Mission as her daughter surprised her, and she wondered where it had come from.

"My father thought exactly like you," the knight answered with a faint smile. "He loved me dearly and did everything in his power to make me happy, always keeping me close, even on his dangerous travels. My mother… not so much," she added bitterly. "You see, my father was a treasure hunter, going to the most hazardous places of the galaxy hoping to find valuable relics."

"A dangerous profession," Xana commented. "And not very suitable for a child to tag along with."

"It was my mother's fault," Bastila said, still with that bitter tone. "She wanted to live the rich, luxurious life. Unfortunately their less than modest income didn't allow for her high standards, which is why my mother pushed my father to go on dangerous hunts, so _she_ could live in wealth."

"That doesn't seem very fair."

"It was almost cruel, my poor dad risking his life for that wench of a woman." Bastila breathed a deep sigh. Xana could almost feel the whirlwind of emotions through the bond. "And then it was discovered I was sensitive to the Force. As you can imagine my father didn't want to relinquish me, but for my mother it was a golden opportunity. A child is very expensive, without me she'd save even more money to spend on excessive luxury."

The padawan watched her master closely. "I can't imagine a mother giving her child away for a reason like that," she said carefully. "Are you sure that's what happened?"

Bastila gave her a sharp glance. "Of course I'm sure, I was there the entire time. Are you trying to protect my mother?"

Xana quickly held up her hands. "Not at all. But you were just five years old. Children can have a strange perception of the world, and you seem to be biased to your father's side of the story. Maybe there's more to it."

"You _are_ defending my mother," Bastila coldly replied. "I thought you of all people would be on my side."

Xana winced at Bastila's words. "But I _am_ on your side," she answered in a wounded tone. "I'm just trying to analyze the situation from an objective viewpoint, because I want to _help_ you."

"I… sorry," the knight muttered, hanging her head in shame. "But save your energy, because I'll never see them again. The Code prevents me to."

"That's cruel. Your father loved you, I can imagine he'd want to see you again."

The brunette let out a ragged sigh. "Sometimes I wish I could… But accepting you can't is part of becoming a Jedi, no matter how hard that might be. That's why orphans make such splendid Jedi."

"No loose ends," the padawan muttered. "Are your parents still alive though?"

"I honestly don't know, as I haven't had contact with them since swearing myself to the Code."

Bastila's definite tone betrayed she wanted to close the subject, so Xana wisely didn't press. Instead she chose to explore the underground chamber a bit more, slowly walking through it and studying the various crystals. It was truly a marvelous sight to behold. Some crystals were as small as the tip of a pencil, while others were elaborate structures of nearly six feet. How they had ever formed was a mystery to her.

Her mind went to Revan, wondering if the former Dark Lord had also wandered these caverns in her youth. How had she felt at the time? Just as lost as Xana was about her future? Or had she been fully aware of what it had to offer, exploiting her time to the fullest to prepare herself for taking on the cloak of Dark Lord? Not for the first time did she wonder what had happened during the aftermath of the Mandalorian Wars, and if the following war somehow could've been prevented.

She shook her head, trying to force out Revan. Why did the former Dark Lord have to pop up in her mind so often, of all people? Perhaps it was because of these visions, giving her small glimpse in the woman's mind. Somehow it gave Xana a strange feeling of kinship for Revan, like the two of them alike. Their characters _did_ have a lot in common. Revan could be laidback and indifferent, not giving a damn about the galaxy, but that vanished like snow in the sun when a breaking point was reached, when she felt intervention was necessary.

Then she changed into a driven, committed and charismatic woman, who would and could move the galaxy to get what she wanted. The resemblance to Xana's own personality was almost uncanny. She had felt little drive to intervene in this Jedi war, until she had seen the Sith horrors with her own two eyes. The thing that had pushed her over the edge was Mission and her infinite sadness over the loss of her mentor and home.

"You are uneasy," Bastila remarked after a while, shaking Xana out of her silent contemplations.

The raven haired woman breathed a deep sigh and glanced over to her master. She needed to get her troubles off her chest, feeling it might burst otherwise. And now was as good a time as any. She walked over to her master and looked her straight in the eyes, almost challenging. "When I was taking a nap this afternoon I got another vision."

"Really?" Bastila seemed both curious about the vision and apprehensive of Xana's blunt tone. "What did you see?"

"Part of the destruction of Cathar, through the eyes of Knight Revan. She was there with a Catharese princess and her guard, scouting a burning city. It had been besieged by Mandalorians. In the ruins a young Juhani was battling a group of Mandalorians, who had probably been left behind to take out any remaining survivors. Juhani was losing the battle, but she was saved by Revan."

"Interesting," Bastila slowly said. "I never knew _Revan_ was the knight that rescued her."

"Yes, very fucking interesting," Xana snarled, a bit more harshly than she had intended. "I'm getting sick of these visions Bastila. I mean, I can understand why the Force wants to show me Revan's search of this so-called Star Forge, that's very fucking useful information now that the galaxy is on the verge of destruction. But seeing that arrogant brat being rescued by the Dark Lord? Through the eyes of said Dark Lord, complete with thoughts and emotions? I don't fucking get it Bastila! What's the point?"

"Xana, calm down... _now_." Bastila's voice was stern and commanding.

"I will _not_," Xana growled. "Every time I ask questions, all I get are half-truths or silence. What's up with that? I don't give a fuck about what that bitch did when she was alive, why bother imparting all that crap into my brain? The news value isn't _that_ high and I sure as _hell_ can think of better things to dream of."

The master held up her hands and gave her apprentice an imploring look. "Xana, please stop thi…"

"What am I, Bastila?" the apprentice interrupted. "What the _fuck_ am I? Wasn't I supposed to be a simple pirate, traveling the galaxy for easy opportunities and quick cash? Then why am I suddenly showing all characteristics of a seer, with insight in the galaxy's number one enemy? The galaxy's number one _dead_ enemy? Sure, it helps me find this blasted Star Forge, but how the fuck does knowing Juhani was rescued by Revan help me in any way? It didn't even help me to understand how I can get on better footing with that woman, save from pretending to be Revan. What's the Force trying to say? That I should buy a dark robe and blood red mask and declare myself Revan incarnate?"

Bastila grabbed Xana by the wrists and pulled her close, forcing their eyes to meet. "Xana, _listen_ to me," she said seriously. "I know what you're going through is off-putting and frightening and I wish I could give you satisfying answers, I really do." Her silver eyes turned sad and she suddenly looked extremely distressed. "But if you think the Council respects me enough to be completely open with me, you're wrong."

Xana could spot no lies in Bastila's words and her master's voice calmed her down like always. But this time it only confused and scared her. "I don't understand," she muttered. "Why do I trust you so unconditionally? It denies all logic. You're a Council puppet, following their orders meticulously. Everything you tell me, everything you do, it's all just a repetition of their words. Yet here I am, feeling utterly safe in your presence. Why?"

"Xana…" Bastila looked genuinely wounded by the harsh words of her bondmate. "Please don't do this," she pleaded. "I _am_ on your side! Everything I do and say is because I care for you, because I want to keep you safe and shield you from the dangers of this galaxy, while preparing you for the task we're about to undertake."

"Does that include withholding information from me?" the raven haired woman asked quietly.

For the briefest of moments Bastila looked away, telling Xana enough. Bastila looked almost lost. "Don't you think I wish things were different?" she asked softly, while meeting Xana's eyes again. "I wish I knew everything that was going on with you and that I could share it freely with you, if only to ease your mind. But I don't and I can't, and it scares me just as much as you. But I swear I'm not planning to use you or hurt you in any way. I hate being treated by the Order like this and I hate the way they treat you even more, but I have no choice in this matter. Following their orders is our best bet of stopping the Sith."

"It's almost ripping me apart," Xana breathed. "My heart tells me to trust you, while my mind tells me to back the hell off."

A faint smile appeared on Bastila's lips and she grabbed both Xana's hands in hers. "It's good to be cautious, we can't afford _not_ to be in times like these. But I can't do this on my own Xana, and neither can you. I want to end this war, if only to prevent cases like Mission. But I need your help. The two of us need to stick together, to look after each other."

"Promise not to betray me," the padawan whispered, looking deeply into Bastila's silver eyes.

Bastila met her eyes and looked reassuring. "I promise I won't betray you. And I promise I'll protect you to the best of my ability. From both the Sith _and_ the Council."

Xana smiled faintly, but didn't release her gaze just yet. There was one last thing she needed to know: "What am I, Bastila?"

This time the brunette smiled warmly. "You are a very capable Jedi, who might just be able to turn this war around. You're an extraordinary woman that will make this galaxy a safer place, if you make the right choice."

Xana swallowed hard and couldn't find any words, so touched was she by Bastila's genuine trust in her ability to stop the Sith. This time she _did_ calm down, finally realizing that at least _one_ Jedi was on her side, and the most important one at that. She trusted Bastila unconditionally and just knew that – although she might not be completely open with her – the brunette would never lie to her or betray her. Her bondmate simply wanted the best for her.

"I trust you," the padawan muttered, and she pulled the brunette in for an embrace, which was fully returned. For the second time that day she found peace and safety in the warmth and softness of that body and it was at that moment she fully realized how much she loved Bastila. This wasn't just simple sexual attraction, this was a connection much deeper and stronger.

She pulled her head back to look at Bastila. The brunette looked simply stunning in her arms, the strange light emitted by the crystals highlighted the sharp features of her beautiful face even more. Code and Council be damned, she simply _had_ to tell Bastila the extent of her feelings. Right know was the perfect opportunity to tell her she loved her. The gorgeous brunette looked up curiously as Xana opened her mouth. "Bastila, I…"

The sound of heavy footsteps coming from the single pathway leading into the underground chamber interrupted her. Without hesitation the duo released each other to activate their yellow lightsabers. Xana instinctively took the lead, positioning herself a bit in front of Bastila to shield her from possible danger. To her surprise the knight made no move to change their positions, in fact she actually slipped a bit further behind the physically stronger woman, so as to find safety there.

A group of bandits entered the cavern. They were Duros, eight of them, all clad in leather armor and wearing various firearms. But it was the leader that surprised the padawan. Clad in blood red armor which covered his entire appearance, with just a tiny visor to allow for a modest amount of vision: it was a Mandalorian. She had never seen a member of his group on Dantooine before and she wondered what he was doing so close to the Jedi enclave. Her eyes were transfixed on his massive blaster rifle, which was steadily pointed in her direction.

"Well this looks fucking cozy," the Mandalorian said in a rough voice.

"Told you these bitches were in here all alone," one of the Duros grinned, sounding quite pleased with himself. "The days of the Jedi are numbered if all of 'em are _this_ stupid."

Xana calmly assessed the situation to calculate her odds. The enemy's numbers might seem overwhelming, but the Duros were just trash. Wearing cheap armor and blaster pistols that were probably meant more to intimidate than to serve as a deadly weapon, they hardly posed a threat. The Mandalorian was a different story though. His armor was of good quality and battle worn, meaning he had seen a fight before. His blaster rifle looked well maintained and on his belt was a sharp vibrosword that had seen a whetstone not too long ago.

But as she grabbed the Force to enter her battle trance she came to a reassuring realization: the Force was so lively and strong in this place that she could probably rip these guys in half without even breaking a sweat. With that insight the tension left her body, making way for her usual laidback confidence. Bastila responded to her change of posture, Xana could almost physically feel her calm down as well. She smirked to herself, the brunette might be a bossy tutor, but out in the field she knew exactly who was in charge.

"You've just interrupted a very important moment, Mandalorian." Xana's voice was cold as ice. "Care to explain why? Or what the fuck someone of your wretched kind is doing on Dantooine?" She knew Mandalorians were easy to provoke, sending them into battle enraged and unprepared.

"Revenge," the Mandalorian said curtly. "If it wasn't for you cancerous Jedi, we'd be in charge of this galaxy. But no, you saintly bastards had to intervene, bringing my glorious clan to the brink of extinction." His voice was trembling dangerously, letting Xana know she almost had him. "And that, my lovely Jedi, is something that will simply not do." He pointed at his belt, where two lightsaber hilts were proudly on display. "You see, I'm a bit of a collector. And I prefer taking them from the mangled corpses of my victims."

"Impressive collection," Xana remarked dryly. "And who are you? Caius Fett himself?"

"Funny, you must be the jester." He made a wide gesture with his arms, standing proud and tall. "My name is Sherruk Jedislayer. And you two bitches are the next tallies I'll carve into my flesh as tokens of my victory."

The padawan barked a patronizing laugh. "Wow, you're _so_ hardcore, I bet you get all the girls." Her grin faded and she gave him a cold stare as she pointed her lightsaber in his direction. "Why don't you frisk back to mommy, _Sherry_? I'm sure she'll want to have a word with you for your naughty language." She heard Bastila chuckle behind her and the Mandalorian's stance immediately changed.

"So you choose to mock me," he growled. "Wrong choice. I wanted to be merciful on you two, I really did. But now you've lost all my sympathy. First I'm going to beat you two into a bleeding pulp. Then I'm going to carve you open, removing your organs one by one and skinning you alive. Within the hour you'll be begging for your death, but such mercy won't come. I'll continue until the last little fiber lies shivering on the bloodied floor, resonating in the glory of the Mandalorian clans!"

The raven haired woman laughed again at his words, not feeling intimidated in the least. "You fucking daft moron. You got any idea what this place is? The Force is so fucking huge here it solidifies into crystals, yet you want to take on _two_ Jedi Knights?" To fortify her words she fully embraced the Force. To her surprise, and that of the bandits, the entire cave responded. Each and every single crystal was activated, emitting powerful light that bathed the entire cavern in an array of colors.

The bandits were blinded by the lights and held up their hands clumsily to shield their eyes. It was Xana's cue to strike. Behind her back she signaled Bastila to take the left flank, while she rushed off to the right without checking if the brunette followed her order, she simply _knew_ she would. The first two Duros didn't know what hit them when a yellow beam of light cleanly severed their heads, but the other two on her side of the room regrouped in time to send a barrage of blasterfire her way.

Slipping into the defensive Soresu lightsaber form she had little trouble blocking the bolts of energy, until the Mandalorian decided it was time to open fire as well. The quick bursts from his blaster rifle proved to be a bit more challenging and she had to reposition herself to get out of his line of fire.

Bastila in the meantime calmly fought her way through the Duros bandits on her side of the room. She wasn't targeted by the Mandalorian, so she could take her time to concentrate on taking out the trash. Using a smooth combination of Force pulls and pushes and her lightsaber she dealt with her share of hostiles quickly and efficiently. Unfortunately the Mandalorian then changed his priority on the knight, figuring she was currently his biggest threat. A burst of blasterfire was sent her way…

…giving Xana room to wreck the last of the Duros. A quick combination of her lightsaber dealt with them. What she then saw nearly made her heart stop.

Bastila had made a mistake and was now at near pointblank range from the Mandalorian, who was about to blast a hole in her face. At this range it'd be impossible for the knight to block his attack. Xana could feel blood surge to her ears and time seemed to grind to a halt.

She knew she shouldn't let her anger overwhelm her, but it flared up to nearly immeasurable heights. Just about everything about this guy rubbed her the wrong way. First of all he had killed two Jedi, and judging by his words their way of departure hadn't been a painless one, she didn't doubt this guy was twisted enough to torture his enemy. Then there was the fact that he had interrupted an important moment with Bastila, where Xana had almost spoken her true feelings to the brunette. And finally he had carelessly threated to hurt Bastila, a threat which he was now putting into action. For Xana it was the absolute breaking point. This guy deserved no mercy and he would receive none.

Using the Force she broke both his arms before he could even fire a shot. With a strangled yelp he dropped his blaster rifle. She then picked him up, planning on smashing him into the wall just hard enough to knock him out. That way he could be taken to the enclave for interrogation. But the Force was extremely lively through her and her burning anger made her unable to contain herself. She flung him into the wall with so much force that a sickening crack could be heard. His limp body slid down in slow-motion, leaving behind a nasty red mark on the rock wall. She didn't need to check his vital signs with the Force to know he was dead.

A moment of deep silence ensued, lasting almost ages in Xana's mind. Bastila was the first to recover. "Have you completely lost your mind?" she exclaimed, while rushing over to the fallen enemy. A quick glance proved that he was indeed dead. "We should've taken him in alive so he could've been questioned."

"Shit," the padawan muttered, feeling stupid and weak for losing herself like that. "This place overpowered my abilities."

The knight shook her head in disapproval. "That's no excuse! You're a padawan now, mistakes like these can't happen anymore."

Xana shrugged. "At least he won't bother any Jedi anymore. Sick bastard."

"Thanks to you we don't know _why_ he bothered those Jedi, or who the Jedi were," the brunette snarled. "Was he a lone wolf? Or was he hired to wreak havoc so close to the enclave, perhaps as a distraction? He could be working for the Sith for all we know!"

She didn't like the tone of the brunette, pointing out the obvious in such an accusing manner. "I made a mistake, I'm sorry," she answered through gritted teeth. "At least I saved your life, that must count for something."

Bastila held her nose high in the air. "I would've been perfectly able to save myself, thank you very much."

Xana's mouth fell open and she gasped for air, incredulous to the brunette's ungrateful behavior. She thought back on Taris and shook her head. "Not this shit again," she muttered. "Can't you just accept you're not my superior on the battle field?"

"Absolutely not! With your rash action today you only proved you're far from ready to take command."

"And you proved you're not fit for leadership by nearly getting your head blown off, after which you act like an ungrateful little kid to the subordinate that saved your life!"

The face of the knight darkened, but she shook her head and ignored the padawan. Instead she crouched down beside the body of the dead Mandalorian. "This is bad," she angrily muttered, while grabbing the two lightsaber hilts that were secured to his belt. "I must bring these to the Council immediately so their owners can be identified."

"Don't ignore me! We must discuss who's going to be in charge of this mission right now."

"You're not ready yet, so right now it's _not_ open for discussion," the brunette scowled, as she made her way to the exit of the cave. "Pick whatever crystal you want for your lightsaber, then head back to the enclave and fetch Mission to serve your sentence." Without another glance back she strolled out of the cave.

Xana watched her go quietly, barely believing her master's actions. But then she recounted Bastila's last words her anger faded: 'you're not ready _yet_.' It seemed even the haughty knight was starting to realize staying in command wasn't the brightest idea, as it might quite literary cost her her head one day. The tanned woman starting grinning to herself, a bright little feeling was nestling inside her stomach. It wouldn't be long before Bastila was going to be relieved of command.

And that, coupled with the reinforced trust in Bastila's intentions and Xana's own future, simply made her day. She glanced around the cave, then started her search for a crystal of her liking while humming a happy tune.

* * *

Mission was curled up on her bed in the small room she shared with Zaalbar, stifling yawn after yawn. With her back leaning against the wall she watched her Wookie friend, who was already lost in deep sleep in the bed opposite of hers. Sleep threatened to overwhelm her too, but she was forced to wait for Xana to come pick her up, so they could perform Bastila's punishment: sleeping outside under the chilly Dantooine sky. A small smile tugged at her lips, she didn't consider spending the night with the only grownup that genuinely cared for her much of a punishment.

Her life at the moment was pretty good, but doubts were making her head a mess. Xana had been promoted to padawan that afternoon, which meant she and Miss Bastila would leave on their super important mission soon. The Twi'lek didn't know the details, but it was something about stopping Malak and the Sith from messing up the galaxy even further. And that lead to the core of her problem: you don't stop the Sith by staying on Dantooine.

The end of Xana's training no doubt meant she'd leave the enclave together with her master to aid in the war. And that scared the living daylight out of Mission, because who was to say she'd be invited to tag along? Xana would want to take her without a doubt, but what about the other Jedi? Miss Bastila surely wouldn't be happy with the little brat coming along and she was convinced the Council wouldn't want someone as young as her in the way of their precious mission.

She knew Xana was headstrong and charismatic, but would she be able to sway the Councilors? The Councilors _and_ Bastila? It would take an extreme amount of effort to convince all of them and even then she wasn't sure if Xana'd be able to pull it off. Even though Bastila sucked as a leader, she still was the one in charge. And if the knight forced the matter she'd overrule Xana, meaning Mission was forced to stay behind.

She would be abandoned once again.

Her parents had abandoned her. Her brother had abandoned her. Zaerdra had abandoned her.

The only ones who hadn't abandoned her were Zaalbar and Xana. Big-Z would never willingly leave her, but thanks to his life-debt he was forced to follow Xana, even if it meant being separated from his best friend. And what about Xana herself? Would she be able to convince Miss Bastila the little pest had to come? Would she bother to?

Xana's determined green eyes came to her mind, and she immediately regretted her negative thoughts. Of course Xana would bother to bring her along, the human _adored _her. The former marine had spent almost all her spare time on Mission, either educating her or simply blowing off steam by goofing around. She had not just been a mentor, but so much more than that. Xana's care and affection for the thief were almost limitless and she fulfilled very deep desires, desires Mission never really knew she had.

Part of Mission – a part she kept safely hidden away from everyone else – desperately wished that it was Xana Grey who had been her mother, not the sad excuse for a woman that abandoned her and Griff. She knew that thought was very childish, and she'd never share it with anyone. But the fact remained Xana cared very much for her, and Mission would do anything to stay with the human.

Bastila was a completely different story, Mission had to admit she was a bit scared of the senior Jedi. Whenever the Jedi Knight looked at her with those incredibly light grey eyes she felt like all the mischief she had ever committed was laid bare before the woman. It was the reason why she had confessed so quickly that she had indeed sneaked the bantha into the enclave. Mission highly doubted she'd ever be able to keep a secret from the brunette. She had a feeling Bastila didn't really like her, but then again, Mission had never given her any reason to. And now that might catastrophically backfire on her.

Her heart ached in her chest just thinking about being left behind. Losing the newfound safety of Xana's presence would probably be the hardest thing she'd ever have to endure, and that included Zaerdra's death. She had to talk to Xana about it, somehow convince the woman to take her along. She'd beg, plead, whine, wail, whimper… whatever necessary.

A sharp knock on the door brought her back to the real world. She rushed towards it to open it and nervously glanced around the edge, finding a positively beaming Xana on the other side. "'sup Blue?" she asked brightly. "Ready for a cozy night in the open?"

"Nope," she answered and managed a mischievous smile. "Wanna bail?"

The happy Jedi barked a loud laugh. "I'm no masochist," she grinned. "If she finds out – which she will – we'll be in even more trouble."

Mission left the room and followed the ex-marine into the hallway. "I don't understand why you allow her to boss you around like that," she remarked. "Aren't you the one with a degree in leadership?"

"Degree, degree… I'm but a simple lieutenant," Xana answered with twinkling eyes. "But it has helped me you know, accepting her as my superior. Having an honorable and strict mentor like Bastila has sped up the learning process tremendously, just like you did much better after I gave you a few good reprimands."

"And once things get difficult?" Mission wanted to know. "You'll be going against the Sith, right? Back on Taris she made a big mess of things, which you had to clean up for her."

"Not to worry, not to worry," Xana soothed with twinkling eyes. "Things are changing, the balance has shifted tonight. Right now she's still too proud to admit I'm the one meant to be in charge, but once we're out in the field she'll surrender leadership to me quickly enough, mark my words."

"We'll see about that," the Twi'lek muttered. "Is that why you're so happy right now?"

"Part of it," the padawan grinned goofily. "The two of us just had a good chat and I'm feeling awesome. Got all the crap that's been bothering me off my chest. And I've established that I can trust her one hundred percent… and that I'm indeed very much in love with her."

Mission cocked an eyebrow skeptically. "And you told her that too?"

"Err, I was planning to." Her face darkened. "But then I was interrupted by some macho Mandalorian who wanted to torture us by skinning us alive, effectively ruining the entire moment."

The Twi'lek wasn't too sure if Xana was serious or not. It was probably just a lame excuse. "You're a pussy," she huffed. "Just tell her how you feel."

The ex-marine looked a bit ashamed. "It's not that easy, you know? What if she snaps and never wants to see me again? I'd rather live with her as a friend than without her at all."

Mission shook her head and sighed. "You really are daft, you know? Doesn't she need you on this bloody mission? Aren't you two connected by a powerful bond? How can she ever shun you with all that is happening between you two? Besides, she's just as much into you as you are into her, she's just bullied by those close-minded Councilors." She gave one of the planters a kick to vent her annoyance. "Geez, it's pathetic that you need love counseling from a fourteen year old girl."

Xana grinned self-consciously and gave the tip of Mission's lek a playful little tug. "Bright little thing you," she smirked affectionately. "No wonder you're my prodigy."

The girl let out a small yelp and wrestled her lek free. "Oww," she huffed, while stroking the head tentacle gently. "That's sensitive you know?"

"A glaring flaw in your race's evolution," the strong woman said with a laugh. The duo had left the enclave and walked into the dark courtyard.

Mission folded her arms and shot her boss an angry look. "Yeah, like hair is such an ingenious example of intelligent design. You can totally see all its incredible benefits, like… oh wait, absolutely NOTHING!"

The ex-marine barked a laugh, after which she stroked her long black hairs while giving Mission a lecherous grin. "You might think that, but all the ladies fall heads over heels for my long mane. It's a bloody babe magnet I tell ya!"

The Twi'lek snorted. "No wonder you're still a bachelor," she dryly remarked.

"Ouch," Xana whined playfully. "That hurts Blue."

"Own damn fault for being so shillyshally," Mission huffed, causing Xana to chuckle.

The pair had reached a large tree in the courtyard with a patch of soft grass around it. Xana had walked here without hesitation, so perhaps it was her favorite spot whenever her master forced her to sleep outside. The padawan lay down on her back in the grass and patted the spot next to her, indicating the thief to lay down. Mission curled up against the human, laying her head on the strong woman's shoulder and snuggling close to get warm. It was pretty damn cold out here.

No sooner had she laid down comfortably, or she felt one of Xana's hands gently starting to stroke her lek. The feeling took her completely by surprise. It felt incredibly good, Twi'lek's head tails were very sensitive and the way Xana was caressing hers was nothing short of divine. It sent shivers through her entire body and made every single muscle relax completely.

The feeling was also completely alien to her, as no one had been ever close enough to do something so incredibly intimate to her. She wondered if Xana knew stroking a Twi'lek's lek was something only done by lovers, very close friends or family. Her mind told her the Jedi knew, because it gave her the incredible feeling of being loved and cared for. She snuggled a bit closer to the strong body of the woman, craving for the attention she was getting, and let out a content sigh.

The tender, loving caresses continued for a long time, but didn't manage to stop the flood of bad thoughts from creeping up in her mind. It actually strengthened her fear of being abandoned by her new guardian. Xana had come closer to her than anyone before, even Zaalbar. Being separated from her would be hell, plain and simple. The time for timidity was over, now she had to be bold to secure her future.

"Hey Xana?" she asked tentatively. The strong woman grumbled something in response, indicating that she was listening. "Your real mission starts tomorrow, right?"

"Tomorrow 800 hours sharp," came the muffled response.

"That means you'll be leaving Dantooine pretty quickly, right?"

Xana stirred a bit, trying to get comfortable. "They say Revan and Malak travelled the galaxy for a while, searching for some shit that's supposed to be the reason the Sith are kicking our asses. Considering it's our job to find that shit, I guess we'll be travelling the galaxy as well, yes."

The young Twi'lek shifted nervously, preparing for the question that had been bothering for months now. "Can I come with you?" she asked in an incredibly tiny voice.

To her surprise Xana chuckled. "What? Did you think you could stay all nice and comfy in the enclave, while I have to crawl through piss and shit in search for an elusive artifact? Living on a diet of soda and candy bars while I'm trying to swallow down stale ship food without gagging? Only for me to return to an enclave that has been burned to the ground… or painted pink?" She chuckled again. "Not a chance, young lady."

A ray of hope shone through Mission's heart. "You mean… I can come?"

"Wha… you seriously thought I was going to leave you behind?" Suddenly Xana was wide awake and looking at the girl intently.

Mission felt ashamed and childish. "I-I didn't know you'd want me to come. I mean, what use can I be to you? I'm always just tagging along, relying on you for guidance and protection. I try to act strong, but Bastila's right. I'm still just a child."

Xana wrapped both arms around the girl and pulled her on top of her, hugging her tight. "Have you any idea what you mean to me?" she whispered softly in Mission's ear. "Ever since I woke up with my memories gone, everyone I met was either hostile or a business acquaintance. You were the first friend I met, the first person that resembled something like family, someone I could just _be_ with. With you I can just mess around without being judged."

The human continued stroking on of the Twi'lek's head tails. "Not only are you my student and protégée, but you're also the one who keeps me sane and down to earth with all the crap that's happening to me. Thanks to you I know exactly what I'm doing this for. So yes, you're staying with me, for as long as you like. Be it ten years, twenty years, or your whole damn life if you'd give me that honor. I'll be there for you." The strong arms pulled her even closer, until Mission was fully embraced by Xana. There was no mistaking it; those arms were possessive. Xana was claiming Mission as hers, and Mission had never felt so… right before. "I promise I won't abandon you. Ever."

The last sentence was spoken with so much emotion, with so much care, that Mission simply believed it every word. For the first time in her life she felt safe and secure, like she had finally found a home. It was such a powerful emotion that her entire heart ached with joy. "T-thank you," she muttered, and then burst out in uncontrollable tears. "Thank you s-so much."

"You're welcome Mission," Xana answered warmly, while continue rubbing the sobbing girl's lek affectionately and sheltering her from the outside world with her arms. "So stop worrying needlessly, you little idiot," she chuckled warmly. "You're mine. And I take good care of those who are mine."

It was too much, Mission simply couldn't believe she deserved this. Never before had a grownup taken such care of her like Xana had. The care and affection this woman gave her was simply incredible, and she couldn't describe the joy she felt while lying in the strong arms of her guardian. Was this what having a mother felt like? It didn't matter, because after fourteen years of aimless wandering she had finally found the anchor she was looking for.

She was home.

Basking in the strong presence of her guardian her tears slowly ebbed away and she drifted off in a deep, content sleep. A sleep that was free from nagging doubt and desperation for the first time in her life.


	26. Going Down

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Nine**

**Going Down**

* * *

Her already fair skin was even paler than normal. Sure, she didn't share the natural olive tan of her apprentice, but today the color of her face was particularly unhealthy. Her eyes were swollen with dark rings and her normally lush lips were dried out and itchy. Sleep deprivation was a killer for your good looks, and Bastila's infuriating padawan had a knack for making her night's rest as uncomfortable as possible, even when she wasn't there. Or rather, _especially_ when she wasn't there.

Bastila should've known making Xana sleep somewhere else would only backfire on her. Over the six months she had become accustomed to sharing a room with the former marine. Once she had gotten over the fact that the beautifully toned and tanned woman loved making a show of shamelessly undressing in front of her master – which admittedly reduced Bastila to a coy mess of raging hormones without fail – sharing a room with her had become very pleasant. Xana had the innate ability of making you feel safe, like she possessed an aura assuring you everything was going to be alright.

Of course the maddening woman had to do something intolerable, in this case encouraging the little brat in her mischief. Someone had to set an example for Mission, and if Xana wouldn't do it, it was up to Bastila to provide the necessary guidance. She really wanted the best for the young Twi'lek – with her tragic false start in life – although she was pretty sure Xana and Mission thought Bastila was just being cranky, or exploiting her authority. When she was even sacrificing her own night's rest by removing the soothing presence of her apprentice from her room! Ungrateful girls, the both of them.

The events of last night made things even worse. Something had happened between her and Xana inside the crystal caverns. She doubted Xana had noticed, but after the declarations of trust between them the Force Bond had changed. Xana was clinging to Bastila like a lifeline in a dreadful storm and the Bond reflected it. It had tied them together even stronger, as if to tell them never to let go. She had seen it in Xana's green eyes as they were locked in that warm embrace, the desperate need for Bastila. And Bastila felt the same need for Xana. She had felt the strong urge to just close her eyes and kiss the tanned woman, give in to her desires, but she had resisted those temptations by strongly meditating on the Code. Barely.

It would be wrong, incredibly wrong. Giving in to her feelings would be a complete violation of Revan. The former Sith leader still lingered somewhere in Xana's mind, and Bastila was torn between both women.

Her promise to her padawan had been genuine, she really cared about her and would do anything to protect her. And yes, that did include withholding her true past from her. It might be unfair, but Bastila was convinced nothing good could come from Revan returning right now, certainly not when the galaxy was so strongly divided between light and dark. She was protecting Xana by not telling her about her true identity, so she didn't have to feel guilty about it.

And then that Mandalorian had come in to ruin their intimate moment together, after which Xana had ruined it beyond repair by questioning Bastila's ability to lead. Preposterous! Bastila had turned the tide of many massive battles, had seen so much more combat than Xana had. There was no doubt in her mind that _she_ was the better candidate to be in charge, not the amnesiac woman with barely two and a half years of life experience. And today she was determined to prove it to her apprentice, during the beginning of what might become a very long mission.

As she made her way through the enclave to pick up her apprentice, she tried rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and stifling a yawn for what felt like the hundredth time. Even an ice-cold shower hadn't helped her to wake up completely. Darn Xana with her insufferable big mouth and irresistible charisma. How a woman could be so insolent and charming at the same time was a mystery to her. She sighed deeply, things had been so much easier when she had still been on her own. _Women_.

She entered the enclave's courtyard and went straight to Xana's favorite tree. The thought made her chuckle and cringe at the same time, the number of times her apprentice had slept out here was almost cruel. But each and every time Xana had only herself to blame for her misery, so Bastila steeled herself and did what she had to, even though she didn't like it.

What she saw when she arrived at the tree made her gut wrench in what could only be jealousy.

Xana was lying on her back in the grass, with Mission draped all over her. The Twi'lek had buried her forehead in the human's neck and her arms wrapped around Xana's shoulders. Xana had her arms _and_ legs wrapped possessively around the smaller girl, with one of her hands placed between Mission's head tails. They were both smiling contently, like they were completely at peace. It would be a downright adorable sight, were it not for the fact that Bastila strongly wished _she_ was the one lying in Xana's arms.

She used her boot to poke Xana in the side, unable to stomach the sight any longer. "Wake up," she snarled.

The sleeping beauty slowly stirred, much to Bastila's dismay wrapping the girl in her arms even closer. Then she popped a single eye open, giving her master a puzzled look. Her eyes drifted to the girl in her arms and slowly she remembered where she was. A warm smile spread on her entire face as she saw the girl cuddled up to her and she gently caressed the blue head for a moment, after which she yawned widely and stretched underneath Mission's body. When she was properly awake she gave Bastila a smile. "Morning ma'am," she muttered weakly.

"We have a meeting with the Council in half an hour," the knight curtly told her, ignoring the feigned respect. "Better hurry up if you want to catch a shower and breakfast beforehand."

Xana pouted slightly, an expression which somehow made her look extremely sexy. "Always the same shit," she mumbled. She looked at Bastila with a hopeful expression. "There's still time to install my new lightsaber crystal, right?"

"We have no time for such things," Bastila answered impatiently. "Probably not until the evening, we have a lot to do."

The Padawan's pout intensified. "My first day out in the field and I have to use an ugly yellow glowstick, that sucks."

"Stop whining and get up already," the knight groaned, sick of her apprentice's antics. "Honestly, how old are you?"

The tanned woman chuckled a bit, before grabbing Mission's shoulders and shaking her gently awake. "Wake up, Blue. Boss says it's time."

The young Twi'lek stirred and buried her face even deeper in Xana's neck. "Not my problem." Her weak mutter was barely audible.

Xana chuckled again, but shook her shoulders once more, a little harder this time. "Bastila's face betrays she's in 'no bullshit'-mode," she told the girl with a wicked smirk at her master. "Get up or you'll get me in trouble."

"Fine," Mission huffed. She slowly sat up until she was straddling Xana at the waist. Bastila felt another pang of jealousy and wanted nothing more than to pull the girl off _her_ Xana, but she resisted the urge. The young Twi'lek made a great show of rubbing the sleep from her eyes and yawning and stretching extensively. When she was done she gave the tanned woman a wide smile. "Good morning Xana!" she greeted brightly.

"Good morning little-me," Xana greeted affectionately, before gently stroking the girl's cheek and head tail. Mission shuddered from the contact and was positively glowing from the attention. "Sleep well?"

"Better than ever!" She looked around to Bastila and her face fell ever so slightly. "Hullo Miss Bastila."

"Yes, good morning," Bastila answered impatiently. "Please get up so your boss can prepare for her important meeting."

Mission looked back down on Xana uncertainly. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Nah, she just has a particularly bad morning mood," the padawan soothed. She sat upright, holding the girl in her arms to prevent her from falling back, and placed a kiss on her cheek. Xana placed a _kiss_ on Mission's _cheek_, for crying out loud. What was going on here? Mission once again basked in the attention. "Why don't you run off to Zaalbar and have some fun? I deal with the master."

The little thief gave the former marine a grateful nod and got to her feet, before swiftly escaping into the enclave with a final uncertain look at Bastila. Xana watched her go with a warm smile on her lips, before getting up as well. She took her time to rub sore muscles and stretch to get some flexibility back in her spine and neck.

Bastila watched her with some disdain and turned on her heels, marching back into the enclave. "What's your problem?" Xana asked Bastila when she had caught up.

"It's nothing," Bastila huffed.

Xana snorted in disbelieve. "Yeah right. Your face is as pale as a cloth and I've never seen you this cranky. You're not fooling me by saying nothing is wrong."

"It's _nothing_," she snarled, getting more and more irritated by the minute. Like she was ever going to admit she was jealous of a fourteen year old girl.

"Fine, whatever," the tanned woman snarled. "I can't read minds and I'm not aware of doing something wrong, so if I offended you in some way it's up to you to tell me about it. I'm more than prepared to make amends, but I can only do that if you talk to me." Xana glanced at her sharply, but Bastila kept walking in silence, ignoring her apprentice's piercing eyes. When the knight said nothing Xana clacked her tongue. "Whatever, crop it all up."

Bastila marched on in silence, convincing herself wanting to lie in Xana's arms so desperately was merely the dark side playing tricks on her. Like she was ever going to fall for such petty temptations.

* * *

After a hot shower and a good breakfast with strong, black coffee, Xana entered the Council chambers together with a still very silent and tired looking Bastila. She wasn't exactly sure what the brunette's problem was and didn't have the energy to go fishing. Why couldn't the knight just be straight whenever something was bothering her? _Women_.

As expected the four Councilors were present in the large circular hall, but to Xana's surprise there was a fifth Jedi standing before the Masters. The padawan recognized the knight and was shocked out of her wits, feeling like a concrete brick just dropped into her stomach. Juhani must've felt the same way, because when she looked around at the two newcomers she briefly watched Xana with a 'fuck-my-life'-expression. It was gone as fast as it came, because when Xana blinked the Cathar's yellow eyes were as blank and inscrutable as ever.

The yellow eyes never left Xana when the duo walked up to the five waiting Jedi, adding only to the sinking feeling in her gut. She was less than happy with the feline's presence. It wasn't hard to guess why there was a powerful Guardian at a briefing with two Sentinels, for what could very well be one of the most important missions of this entire war.

Only when Master Vandar took the word Juhani's eyes left the Padawan. "Bastila, Xana, good morning. As you can see, young Knight Juhani has joined us this morning. She too will play a role in the investigation of the Star Forge. Her expertise with the lightsabers, as well as her training as Jedi Guardian, might prove invaluable during the dangerous mission you are about to undertake."

Xana groaned mentally, her fear had become reality. This was just her luck, instead of being on the road together with Bastila they'd now be babysitted by a hellcat. She gave the Cathar a dark look, which was returned steadily. There was a silent challenge behind those yellow eyes, but Xana knew better than to voice her disgust with the situation. It wouldn't change anything and would only make Xana look like an ass, while the Cathar could take the position of wronged little kitten.

"We have just informed her about the visions shared between you two," the small master continued like the tension between the two didn't exist. "She is aware of the importance of this mission and the secrecy surrounding it. She is also willing to bind herself to your command, Bastila."

Juhani's gaze finally left Xana and shifted to Bastila. She gave the older knight a bow. "It's an honor to serve under such an experienced knight as you, Knight Shan." Xana might've imagined it, but there seemed to be a slight hint of bitterness in Juhani's voice, barely noticeable.

"And I'm glad to have you aboard, Knight Juhani," Bastila replied with a tiny smile. She clearly hadn't picked up on the Cathar's strange tone and her ego was nicely stroked by the trust in her leadership. "Do you mind if we skip the honorifics and stay on a first name basis, considering we're of the same rank?"

"As you wish," the Cathar answered with a slight bow of her head.

Xana watched it all in disgust, this wasn't a development she welcomed. Bastila had been entrusted with command by none other than Master Vandar, who was certainly backed by the three other Councilors. Juhani had accepted her without a hitch, and she highly doubted the feline would take to Xana just as easily. Challenging Bastila for command wasn't a good idea right now, it wasn't a battle she'd win. Besides, openly questioning Bastila's skill would only undermine the brunette's standing with the Council and hurt the trust between the two. So she wisely kept her mouth shut… for now.

"Excellent," Master Vandar said with a faint smile. "The mission you are about to undertake is a dangerous one, so it is critical the three of you work together in perfect unison. I stress that you take the time to get well acquainted to each other and that you maintain a healthy working relationship."

The last comment seemed to be aimed at Xana, which she thought was highly unfair. The Cathar had been a bitch to _her_, not the other way around. "Just give us the mission details instead of micromanaging our 'working relationship'," she snarled using air quotes, rewarding her with a low hiss from Juhani and a disdainful look from Bastila and Vrook.

"It would be wise to heed the advice from your superior," Vrook told her.

Xana pointed a finger at him, planning to tell him to mind his own damn business, but Bastila cut her off. "Xana, _silence_. Right now." The commanding tone of her master shut her up with an audible clap from her jaw. She folded her arms gruffly, shifting her gaze back to small Master Vandar.

"Thank you," he said with an amused twinkle behind his eyes. The little fucker was clearly glad his puppet knight had her puppet apprentice tightly under control. Luckily she'd soon leave this disgusting puppet show. "Your training is now complete, young padawan. The time has come to deal with the matter of the dream you and Bastila shared."

"Do you have any idea where we might start our investigation?" Bastila inquired, while shooting Xana a warning glance to keep her mouth shut.

"When we heard of the ruins in your dreams, Master Dorak recognized it as one of a series of ancient structures here on Dantooine. This one in particular lies to the east of this enclave. We sent a Jedi to investigate... but he has not returned." For a moment the Master shook his warty head. "Perhaps sending him in the first place was a mistake."

"Badmouthing your own student, Master Jedi?" Xana remarked with a cocked eyebrow. "Practicing what you preach not your style?"

Bastila rolled her eyes and the Cathar watched the padawan like she wasn't sure if the human really just had the nerve to lecture the wisest of Council Masters. Vandar chuckled though. "You are right, and I must apologize, as I have spoken out of turn. No matter, the Force is guiding you through your visions. Like we discussed at the beginning of your training, it may be that exploring the ruins is a task tied to your destiny. That is why the Council has decided you two should investigate this, with the aid of Juhani."

Xana clacked her tongue, angry that he so easily skipped over her very just accusation and that he was once again trying to feed her bullshit. "Destiny again, huh? Is that why I have the ability to crawl into Revan's head?"

"We have no reason to believe you possess such an ability," Vandar answered evenly. "As far as we know, the Force is giving your brief glimpses in either Revan's or Malak's life, guiding you on your way. In this case to the ruins here on Dantooine. The secrets to stopping Malak may be hidden within those ruins. You must investigate them and find what Revan and Malak were looking for."

"Once again your ability to address a topic without addressing it astounds me," the padawan dryly remarked.

"Xana Grey, that is enough!" Bastila's words were harsh and as steely as her eyes. "You _will_ show your superiors the proper respect."

Xana grimaced at her master, but found herself unable to disobey. She turned back to the Councilors with a neutral face, her words already planned out: _I apologize for offending you with my analysis of your words. Hearing the stone cold truth is of course too confrontational when you're locked up in your ivory tower, I should've been more thoughtful._

Unfortunately – or fortunately, her head was swimming in so much rage she had a hard time thinking straight – Bastila intervened by stepping in front of her, grabbing her by the shoulders and meeting flaming green eyes with molten silver ones. "Definitely not a wise course of action," the brunette muttered under her breath, words sharp as razors.

The concerned and angry stare of her master brought some sense back to her. "Definitely not," she concurred softly. Pissing off the Council wasn't a good idea, for either of them.

With a final stern look Bastila turned back to the Council. "I apologize for my apprentice's behavior, she is under a lot of stress lately."

"I understand," Master Vandar said in his sickening fatherly tone. "I suggest increased meditation to help ease her mind."

"Yes master, I shall do so after our investigation. We will return with our findings."

* * *

Once the trio exited the Council Chambers into the adjourning circular patio, Bastila turned to her apprentice with a face contorted with anger. "Have you got no self-control whatsoever?" she demanded.

"I'm done with all the lies, Bastila," Xana snarled. "I want answers."

"And even _if_ they are outright lying to you, do you think acting like a rude know-it-all will sweet-talk them into giving you all the answers?"

Xana let out a frustrated growl and pulled her hair, knowing just how right Bastila was. She took a deep breath to center herself. It was time to accept she'd never get a straight answer from the Council, no matter how hard she tried. Her frustration was only eating away at her from the inside and was becoming detrimental to her relationship with Bastila as well. Council be damned, from now on she'd go her own way, find her own bloody answers.

She turned to Bastila and briefly touched her arm. "You're right, sorry for embarrassing you in front of the Council. It won't happen again, I promise."

The knight looked surprised by the sudden change in Xana's demeanor, but her face softened from the padawan's honest tone. "I know you don't make promises lightly, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I must remind you those four are among the most powerful people in this galaxy. Don't get on their bad side." Xana nodded and squeezed the brunette's shoulder gently to let her know she got the message.

Juhani had been watching the duo's interactions from a small distance. Her face betrayed nothing of how she felt about their quarreling, although she must've been full of questions why Xana was acting so hostile toward the Council. When the master and apprentice appeared to have settled the matter she addressed her new commander. "Bastila, I'd like to have a word with your apprentice, if you'd allow me."

The brunette looked uncertainly between Xana and Juhani, clearly having a hard time reading the Cathar's intentions. It didn't surprise Xana, if _she_ wasn't able to read their new team member, _Bastila_ certainly wouldn't be able to. "If it doesn't take too long," the commander answered tentatively.

"It won't," the Cathar assured. After an affirmative nod from Bastila she grabbed the much smaller human by the arm hard and pulled her along to a nearby crevice in the wall, which gave them some privacy. Xana was pushed against the wall and met with Juhani's yellow eyes, which were just a few inches away from hers. 'Comfort zone' was clearly a foreign concept to the hellcat. "How did you find out about me and Belaya?" she hissed.

The question came so much out of left field that Xana could only blink. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The Cathar hissed even lower and grabbed Xana's collar, pushing her in the wall and leaning in on her even further. The tanned human could feel the alien's hot breath and couldn't help feeling slightly intimidated. This woman was as unpredictable as she was powerful. "Don't play dumb, whelp. If you think collecting dirt on me would give you leverage against me, you're dead wrong."

Slowly the pieces clicked into place. "You think I'd sell you two out to the Council? That I'd tell them about your relationship?" She barely believed her own words. "Just what kind of monster do you think I am?" she growled. She tried pushing the feline away, but to her surprise she didn't budge an inch. This woman was strong, there was no doubt about it.

"How should I know to what depraved lengths you humans will go to," the Cathar snarled, but she looked a bit uncertain about her earlier accusation.

"Well, if you think I'd commit such cruelties you don't know _shit_ about me. Jedi life is fucked up enough as it is, I'm not about to make this any harder for Belaya by ratting you two out. Although I can't fathom why she'd date _you_," she added with venom.

"And I can't understand why Bastila would fall in love with someone as rude as you," Juhani countered with equal spite.

"Bastila's not in love with me," Xana said defensively. Sure, the brunette had feelings for her, but had never given Xana any indication it was anything more than a need for a very close friend. And perhaps _some_ sexual curiosity thanks to years of living in celibacy. The padawan wasn't the ugliest bird in the pond, after all.

The knight snorted. "Her feelings for you go far beyond simple attraction. She's expelling more pheromones than a classroom full of sixteen year old Twi'leks," she said in that dead serious voice of hers. "And so are you, for that matter."

"T-that's just… wrong." She didn't know what to make of that. Juhani didn't seem like a person to lie, certainly not about something like this. If Bastila was truly in _love_ with Xana, why hadn't she acted on her feelings a long time ago? Xana had given her enough signs that she was really interested. And what the hell was Juhani doing, sniffing in her private life like that? It was extremely intrusive. "Look, can't we just drop this immature shit? We've got us a mission here. Why don't we make a deal? I don't rat you two out, you don't rat us out?"

"If you destroy Belaya's life I'll destroy yours."

Xana rolled her eyes, getting tired of the open, undeserved hostility. "Duly noted." She tried pushing past the Cathar. "Can you let me go now?"

"One more thing," the feline said while pushing the former marine back effortlessly. "For whatever reason the Council is very lenient with your gross disrespect. Don't expect such clemency from me. Back on Cathar we had very effective methods for washing insolence out of the system."

The tanned woman watched the tall alien in disbelieve. "You're planning on _torturing_ me?"

The Cathar blinked. "Humans sure have strange terms for pedagogical punishment. And I'm planning nothing, whether or not I have to act on my warning is entirely up to you." With a final intent glare Juhani walked away, back to the waiting brunette.

Xana watched her go with mixed feelings. At one hand she felt sorry for the feline's childish fears. What kind of monsters were Jedi if you had to fear for them selling out your happy relationship? She massaged her upper arm that still hurt from the Cathar's iron grip and she felt her sorry vanish instantly. Juhani was just as cruel as the other Jedi, terrorizing her with threats of physical punishment. And the bad part was she was probably going to have to deal with this woman for a very long time.

"You've stepped into a bloody minefield," she muttered to herself. "Great fucking job, Xana. Should've stayed in that Republic prison, you stubborn bitch." As she went to join the other two Jedi she silently wondered how bad the crimes were that she had committed in her pre-amnesiac life. Karma sure was a bitch if it had decided to set everyone in the galaxy against her.

* * *

The trio had taken a landspeeder to reach their destination. Determining who'd be behind the wheel was the first little struggle between the three of them, as none of them trusted their life with the other's driving capabilities. In the end Xana had stubbornly entered the driver's seat and threatened to leave without the other two. After all she was the one that had received Advanced Vehicle Training during her time in the Lieutenant-program.

She had steered the vehicle to the ruins without a hitch. There had been an uncomfortable silence between all of them; Juhani flat-out disliked Xana and didn't seem to be particularly fond of Bastila, Bastila was probably tearing her own mind down over her supposedly nonexistent problem with Xana, while Xana was fed up with the shit she had to endure and contemplated if she shouldn't just let the Jedi fix their own mess. All in all the padawan was glad they arrived at the entrance of the ruins, so they could leave the confines of the vehicle before the walls closed in on them.

The black wooden door was looming in front of them, not exactly looking inviting. A chill went through Xana's spine, it was almost as if the door itself radiated hatred. She wasn't the only one thinking that, because Juhani said, "The Goddesses have long forsaken this place."

The Padawan gave her a sideways glance, unable to contain her curiosity. "Cathar are polytheistic?"

"We have three Goddesses," the feline answered curtly, clearly not in the mood for light talk.

The tanned woman wanted to ask more about Cathar religion, but Bastila cut her off with a sharp glance after seeing the insatiable glint in Xana's green eyes. "Another time," she muttered with a sheepish grin, silently cursing her curiosity.

The Cathar moved to Xana's side and looked her over. "Stay close to me," she practically ordered the tanned woman. Seeing Xana's offended look she added simply, "It's my job to protect you."

"Great," Xana said in a low hiss.

"You're welcome," Juhani answered evenly. The alarming thing was that she sounded completely serious, almost appreciative in her calm voice.

"Do you even know what sarcasm is?" Xana inquired with a snarl, just to make sure. The feline gave her a blank look, telling the Padawan enough. A typical Jedi, _no fun allowed_.

Bastila was already investigating the wooden door, and had quickly figured out how to open it. The door slid open with a deep rumbling noise, revealing a grey stone hallway beyond. Juhani was the first to enter the ruin, eyes vigilant and hands on her lightsabers. Xana and Bastila followed suit, making sure to stick close to the Cathar.

The hallway led to a wide set of stairs that descended deep into the ground. As they moved down the stairs, the air around them cooled down, becoming musty and stale. When they reached the bottom they came across another door, similar to the one leading outside. This one led into the large, rectangular chamber Xana immediately recognized from the vision.

It was ancient and a dull grey, covered in dust and cobwebs. Massive pillars with crumbling edges held the entire structure up. The trio moved cautiously through the room, Juhani making sure Xana was not straying too far away from her. She actually felt more nervous about the powerful Guardian constantly watching her than the possible dangers of the ruins.

She noticed Bastila was tense and lacking her usual confidence, which didn't surprise Xana much. This was something vastly different from the large space battles she had served in. During those there was a very visible, very real enemy to face head-on. In here, there was only the dull, ominous silence coupled with a tingling sense of darkness, warning them of looming danger. Xana briefly touched the brunette's hand and reached out to her through the Bond, attempting to reassure her. To her relief Bastila did indeed calm down.

The calm only lasted until they reached the center of the camber, where the feeling of danger was turning into a very real threat.

From the other side of the room they were approached by an apparition. It appeared to be made of energy, consisting of a ghostly silver body that flickered from time to time. Once it got closer Xana saw it represented a human male, bald with large tattoos adorning his scalp. Seeing his face made something throb in the back of her mind, giving her a strange feeling of… comradeship? It was gone as soon as it came, making her doubt if it had been truly there. What she _did_ know was that she recognized the Jedi from a very recent vision.

"Malak," she heard Bastila gasp beside her. Before she could even recover from shock, Juhani had already activated her dual lightsabers and positioned herself between her new teammates and the strange apparition of a young Malak. This wasn't the Dark Lord that currently tormented the galaxy, but rather the one that had just survived the Mandalorian Wars only to search for new resources to prepare for a whole new war.

Xana quickly recovered from the first shock and immediately instinct took over. Before she could even think about designated roles she was already barking orders. "Juhani, engage him on melee, keep him busy while I analyze him. Bastila, veer right, support Juhani where you can, then engage him from a distance." The brunette did what she was told immediately and even the Cathar complied after a quick, surprised glance at the padawan. Xana smiled to herself, her no-bullshit commanding aura hadn't withered during the six months of relative peace.

Her glee left her as she grabbed the Force to enter her battle trance. It was surprisingly easy to clear her mind to the point of complete emptiness, thanks to Bastila's trick with feeding her thoughts to a flame and letting it consume her. Once she had become one with the Force she opened her eyes to see the world in a completely new light.

She saw Bastila as a bright blue flame, lighting up each time as she weaved the Force around Juhani, bolstering the feline's speed and defense by adding a powerful barrier. Juhani was more like a blue streak of light, moving faster than anything she'd ever seen, except maybe Master Vrook demonstrating his skill. Her blows were as fast as they were strong and accurate, but to her surprise Ghost Malak had little trouble with them. He had drawn a red lightsaber – which Xana quickly noticed was a real one, not an apparition – and used it with great vigor.

The apparition was beyond anything she had ever seen. It was made out of Force energy and seemed immune to any attacks. Xana noticed Juhani's attacks passed through him harmlessly. Even the Force pushes and pulls Bastila threw at it after she was done buffing the Cathar didn't have an effect on him. Ghost Malak seemed to be immortal.

Xana grinned almost giddily, she knew a good challenge when she saw one and took it with both hands. Immortal, her ass. Someone had made this thing – probably Revan to defend the secrets of the Star Forge – which meant it could also be taken down again. She started analyzing his form to figure out how, while keeping an eye out for her two knights to keep them safe.

Hovering around the battlefield she bellowed a command from time to time, repositioning her knights as she deemed necessary, or ordering a strike when she saw an opening. Using her own powers she tried adding distractions for the ghost, but it was completely focused on Juhani, who was trying her hardest not to be overwhelmed.

Whatever Revan created, it was good. It seemed to have inherited all skill from the real Malak. The fact that Juhani was able to keep up told enough about her melee skills, and for the first time Xana appreciated she was on her team. Bastila was also pulling her weight with her wide array of supportive powers and Xana made sure to fully exploit them, guiding the brunette whenever necessary. She had spent enough time with the knight to know exactly what tricks she had at her disposal.

Juhani was fighting the phantom with disciplined venom. She was going at it much harder than she had against Xana in the ancient grove, confirming the padawan's suspicion that the feline had been going easy on her. That was perhaps an even more frightening thought than a Ghost Malak popping up out of thin air. It truly was a sight to behold, the Cathar going nearly berserk with her two lightsabers.

While Juhani was locked in her deadly dance, Xana was frantically trying to work out what made this phantom tick. Using her improved Force senses she tried unraveling its construction, hoping to trace the strings of Force energy back to its core. She tried different manipulations to tear it down, but none of them affected the ghost. She had to hurry, Juhani was showing serious signs of fatigue and Ghost Malak was starting to get hits in, leaving searing wounds on her yellow skin.

"C'mon Malakboy… how do you work?" she desperately muttered under her breath. Slight panic started taking over, if she didn't deal with the Sith Lord right now things would look very bleak for the trio.

Suddenly she was hit by a revelation and laughed at her own stupidity. She had been thinking way too deep into this, as always the simplest answer was the correct one. Just as she raised her free hand and molded the Force, the ghost sharply turned and took a lightning leap at Xana, red lightsaber aimed for the kill.


	27. Dark Secrets

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Ten**

**Dark Secrets**

* * *

The speed at which it was moving was physically impossible.

Of course, if her battle against Juhani in a frenzy had taught her anything, it was that physics meant very little to Jedi. Especially to the ghostly apparition of a Jedi Knight who was on the verge of taking over the galaxy. Malak was known as the greatest duelist of his time and you don't earn that title by giving a damn about the laws of physics.

Which also meant that Xana was about to get cleanly cut in halve, if she didn't find a way to end the nature defying tricks of his spectral twin soon.

Her outstretched arm guiding the Force left the soft flesh of her side fully exposed, an opening which any skilled Guardian would take full advantage of, Ghost Malak included. After his monster leap he aimed a wide slash at her midriff in a diagonal upwards motion. The trajectory meant it would tear through her intestines, rip apart a kidney, destroy the stomach and pancreas, only to end up at the spine. Whatever damage it would do after that point was hard to predict, though Xana could think of more pleasant sights than a beam of searing light meeting a mixture of bone, gristle, marrow and nerves.

There could be no doubt anymore, no hesitation. The lightsaber was already cutting through her robes, the only thing she could do was finish what she started and pray her theory was correct. Just as the searing red beam was about to penetrate her skin, Xana finished her Force manipulation. Like a popping balloon the ghost snapped, vanishing from the face of the planet like it had never existed. The only remaining evidence of its existence was the now deactivated lightsaber dropping harmlessly to the ground.

Before she could even fully process that her trick had worked something heavy crashed into her, making her grunt in pain and lose her balance. She dropped flat on her back with a warm body on top of her, wheezing in agony when the impact knocked the wind out of her. It took a few deep breaths to come back to her senses, the two golden orbs floating above her slowly coming into focus, realization dawning. Apparently Juhani had chased after the ghost in a similar leap, but obviously missed it when it disappeared, colliding with the woman behind it instead.

So now Xana found herself lying on her back, with the full weight of Juhani's heated body pressing down on her. Once again their faces were separated by mere inches and she could feel practically every single muscle and bone of the Cathar's sinewy body pressing into her. "Hey now beautiful," she quipped, still high on adrenaline and euphoria. "If _this_ is the way you want to thank me for saving your life, we should take this someplace more private."

Juhani looked around dumbly, wondering where the phantom had gone. "Saved my life?" she asked weakly, slowly coming to the conclusion the danger was indeed gone. Suddenly she looked down on Xana, eyes wide in shock as the Padawan's suggestion finally came through to her.

"T-this isn't what it looks like, it was an accident! I swear I didn't mean to imply I want anything from you, I'd never cheat on Belaya!" Her eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets and darting frantically over Xana. Suddenly she came to a second realization and her eyes turned possibly even wider. "W-wait, you want me to? You'd cheat on Bastila? Are you… are you _flirting_ with me?"

Xana watched the girl stumble on her words with an amused smile on her lips. With just one sentence she had sent the poor creature into overdrive. "Calm down you," she chuckled. "It was just a joke. You know what a joke is?"

"Of course I know what a joke is," the feline snarled, while pushing herself up so their bodies were no longer as tightly pressed together, but still way too close for comfort. "But if this is your idea of a joke you have a very sick sense of humor. Besides, why do you insist on joking when we've nearly been killed by some creature of the dark side?"

"Because, my witty apprentice has absolutely no sense of timing," Bastila angrily said, while grabbing the Cathar under the arm to help her get up. She didn't seem very happy about Xana and Juhani tangled up on the floor, or with Xana making sexist comments. "Or respect for the feelings of others," she added when Juhani had gotten to her feet.

The tanned woman shrugged with a silly grin. "What can I say? I'm a victim of my own twisted mind." She got to her feet as well, inspecting her body for injuries as she went, coming up with none. "Maybe you should just help me get rid of the excess hormones," she suggested to Bastila with a lecherous grin.

"Maybe you should just pull yourself together, and accept that that's never going to happen," the knight countered, but even in the semi-dark Xana could see the brunette's ears reddening slightly.

"So Belaya was right," Juhani said to Bastila, face turning dark. "You _are_ squandering the greatest gift from the Goddesses. No wonder your lover is turning to me in her desperation, her soul is suffering without its second half."

The brunette gasped for a moment. "She isn't my lover! And I for one value the Code above the religious beliefs of a completely different race, thank you very much."

Juhani flared up. "You might not believe in my deities, but that doesn't devaluate their teachings in any way! If two souls belong together, they should _be_ together. It's the way things are meant to be, no matter your profession, allegiance or gender."

Bastila's nose shot straight in the air and Xana saw a haughty remark coming from miles away. Before the brunette could make a blasphemous comment Xana intervened by stepping between the quarreling duo. As much as she liked Juhani sticking up for her, she didn't want this to end in a brawl because Bastila was too proud and Juhani too devout. "Ladies, please! We're in the middle of a darkness infested ruin, let's stay professional here."

The brunette huffed, but held her tongue. Juhani shook her head and growled, but also decided to let the matter rest. Xana relaxed when the two stepped apart, glad to have averted a crisis. She checked up on the duo and noticed the various cuts across Juhani's body left by Ghost Malak. Crimson blood was seeping out of them, and they looked quite painful, but she didn't even cringe. "Bastila, you better heal Juhani's wounds." When the brunette gave her an offended look she rolled her eyes and added, "You're our best healer."

After that little stroke of her ego Bastila started examining Juhani's injuries, a faint blue glow shimmering around her hand as it moved over yellow skin. "So how did you destroy that Force ghost?" the knight asked as she was working. "I've never seen anything like that before."

"Me neither," Xana replied, in the meantime scanning the chamber using her increased Force senses. When she was satisfied she turned back to Bastila, who was swiftly healing the various wounds without leaving scars. She really was a very good healer.

"You've never seen such a thing before, yet you found a way to undo its existence within minutes?" Juhani asked skeptically.

"I had trouble with it at first," Xana admitted. "I was trying to destroy it with brute force, but nothing affected it. But then I took a step back and looked at it for what it was: a creation of the Force. No matter what you try to weave with the Force, be it a shockwave, lightning storm, or even the restoration Bastila is using at this very moment; all is created using the same methods and bound by the same laws and requirements. It's not magic, if it fails to meet the set of requirements it won't work. See it as a fire; you can put it out by taking away its fuel, oxygen or heat."

"So you took away the ghost's fuel?" Bastila asked, looking slightly impressed while trying to hide it at the same time.

"Something like that," the padawan nodded. "Force creations are a little more complicated than that though, there's a nice book called _Laws of Metaphysical Dynamics_ at the library. You should read it if you're interested, though it's a bit dry and about fifteen hundred pages long."

Juhani blinked. "Why would anyone want to read something like that?"

"She's a nerd," Bastila explained with a conspiratorial look at Juhani and an exasperated sigh.

The Cathar nodded like that explained everything and watched Xana curiously, no doubt changing the impression she had of the 'useless whelp'. If it was for the better or the worse Xana didn't quite know, but frankly she didn't care. Yes, she was a nerd, but that side of her had just saved their ungrateful hides.

Bastila seemed a bit sour by the whole ordeal – clearly she didn't like being outsmarted by her subordinate – and silently finished healing the feline. Xana pouted, obviously she wasn't getting any compliments for her excellent job. Not that she should've expected it, with the two princesses she was traveling with. "Let's just move along," she sighed.

In the far corner of the room they stumbled on the skeletal remains of a Jedi. This must be the one Master Vandar told them about, the one sent to investigate the ruins. Judging by the state of his body he had been lying here for quite some time. "Damn. Revan was quite the Jedi if she manages to kill Jedi Knights even beyond the grave."

"Those aren't things to joke about," Bastila sharply told her apprentice.

Juhani watched the dead Jedi impassively. "It was foolish to send him alone. The Council should've known better than to underestimate Knight Revan's ability." There was a hint of admiration in her voice.

"On that I agree," the brunette conceded.

Xana eyed the two curiously, it appeared she had found the single two Jedi who had at least _some_ respect for the former Dark Lord. "Have I joined the club of Knight Revan groupies or something?"

"Battle prowess, strategic insight, empathy and charisma; warriors like her are born only once a century. If you can't respect the greatest of your trade you don't deserve respect yourself." The Cathar left in the middle of how she felt about Revan's actions.

After a moment of silence for their fallen colleague, Juhani moved on through the next door. As they entered the room behind it they were fiercely attacked once more, but this time their enemy did not come in a visible shape.

They had entered a shrine of the dark side.

The dark side of the Force was extremely intense in here, the vile power casted an overwhelming curtain of gloom on the trio. All happy thoughts left Xana, leaving behind a deep depression gnawing at her soul, attempting to tear her down. Her darkest thoughts came bubbling to the surface; the prison, the loneliness, the futileness of her life, her attempt to end it, the sickening shame of being so weak to do so. It all came crashing down on her like a black waterfall of suffocating terror. She shuddered and nearly collapsed from the torment.

But she didn't allow it.

A small, strong part of her pushed the dark away, giving her a second of clarity. It had been the old Xana who had attempted to end her own life. Now she was the new Xana, the Xana with a purpose and people she cared for, people that needed her. How ashamed she might be of being such a weak fuck, she was weak no more. Now she was strong, with the power to end Malak's reign of terror. She didn't feel shame, simply because she had nothing to be ashamed of. Through sheer power of will she pushed the darkness away to the very edges of her mind, clearing it of the assailing evil and keeping the evil at bay with a steel mind.

She noticed her companions were feeling the same depression, Juhani was dipping her head and Bastila was visibly trembling. Seeing the brunette like that made her heart ache and she swiftly grabbed her bondmate around the shoulder, pulling her close while whispering reassuring words in her ear and gently patting her back. Bastila leaned into her, welcoming the contact and finding strength in it. "I'm being incredibly stupid, aren't I?" she muttered shamefully, but not leaving the close proximity of her apprentice.

"This place is vile. You must fight it, fight the bad thoughts." The padawan cupped the knight's chin and forced their eyes to meet, making sure to look confident and determined. She tried to convey strength through the bond. "You're strong, Bastila. And you're not alone, I'm here for you. Accept my help, it's not a shame to rely on others."

Bastila opened up. She pushed into Xana with force, wrapping her arms tightly around the strong woman, burying her face deep in Xana's shoulder and breathing heavily. "I'm such a failure," she whimpered.

"You're not a failure," Xana said firmly, while tightly holding on to the woman, "it's just this place putting nonsense in your head."

The knight sobbed. "It's not nonsense; I've failed everyone in my life."

"You haven't failed _me_. You gave me a chance, when others were ready to discard me as dark side trash. And I _need_ you, so fight this. For _me_."

The brunette shivered in Xana's arms. "You don't need me. You're the stronger Jedi, the smarter one. And you know it."

The former marine gave her a stern look. "Back on Taris you thought differently. Back in the crystal caverns you were confident you were the better Jedi. What happened to that confidence?"

"Arrogance to mask my insecurity," Bastila admitted in a tiny voice. "One of my flaws. One of many."

"Everyone has flaws, even the Council Masters you so admire. Why would anyone want perfection when growth comes from flaws?"

For a moment Bastila was silent, letting the words sink in. Then she chuckled into Xana's shoulder. "How can you make everything sound so simple?"

"Because I'm a very simple and straightforward girl," Xana said with a soft smile on her face, while running a hand through Bastila's hair. "One of my flaws." The brunette chuckled again at that. "So, why don't you use that horribly annoying stubbornness of yours and tell the darkness and its lies to fuck off and die?"

The knight pulled back and gave Xana a stern look, but there was the shadow of an amused smile tugging at her lips. "You can call me many things, my apprentice, but I'm _not_ horribly annoying. And, you _will_ watch your language or you can scrub the enclave floors for the rest of your life."

Xana beamed at her. "Welcome back, Knight Shan. Ready to move on?"

Bastila returned the smile humbly. "I am, thanks to you."

"You can thank me later," the padawan told her. "We need to find whatever Revan was looking for and get the hell out of here. This place is twisted." Bastila nodded and released Xana, looking like her old self; confident and collected. As her bondmate pulled back Xana immediately missed the contact, but she steeled herself and turned to Juhani. To her surprise the Cathar was as calm and inscrutable as ever.

Xana inquired if she was alright, making the feline sigh. "Our battlemaster taught us to gain wisdom from the shadows of our past. But not all pain holds a lesson to learn. Sometimes all you learn in defeat, is that you have been defeated. It's just that… pain, nothing more."

Xana eyed her sympathetically. "The destruction of your homeworld was an act of random cruelty…"

"I will not let myself be locked up in grief," the feline declared fiercely. "This place is just another low attempt to make me feel miserable, but I will _not_ allow it. I inherited the will of the warrior from my ancestors and I will _not_ put them to shame." She stood straight and proud, pounding her fist to her chest and pushing it against her heart. She closed her eyes and started muttering something, praying no doubt.

The padawan admired the iron will the Cathar was displaying. If Revan's vision was any indication, Juhani had suffered tremendously in her short life. Losing her parents, her home, her entire culture and planet… a lesser mind would've broken over reliving those memories.

When Juhani opened her eyes again she breathed a relieved sigh. "It is gone," she told the other two Jedi. "I am ready to move on."

Xana gave her a nod. With the threat of the dark side dealt with she finally had the time to look around the room they were standing in. It was perfectly square, each wall being about thirty feet, with a door on either side. An odd looking computer terminal was lining the door on the far end. She let out a small gasp when she saw what was guarding the door.

It was a droid, but unlike any droid she had ever seen. It had to be ancient, its design and technology were both primitive yet elegant in their simplicity. The body was shaped like a spinning top and hovering about a foot above the ground. Three utility arms were attached to the bottom of the construct, with various hinges and tools. Xana wanted nothing more than to dissect the robot on the spot to analyze every single part, but she doubted her master would allow her to take the time.

Juhani had activated her lightsabers, but the apparatus wasn't hostile. In fact, it didn't appear to be equipped with weaponry at all. As soon as the trio approached, it started garbling strange noises.

"Is it broken?" Bastila asked, eying the droid cautiously. The droid made a different set of noises.

"I think it's trying to communicate," Xana noticed. "The second part was spoken in a different language than the first. I think it's cycling through various languages in its memory banks, to find the right one to communicate with us."

"_I can reproduce any of the languages spoken by the slaves of the Builders._"

"Hey, I recognize this language!" the padawan exclaimed. "It sounds like an archaic variant of the Selkath dialect spoken on Manaan."

"I can understand it too," said Bastila, looking at the droid with renewed curiosity. "But why would a droid on Dantooine be programmed to speak ancient Selkath?"

"_Communication was vital to ensure that the slaves constructed this temple according to the wishes of the Builders_," the ancient droid told them. Apparently it could understand Galactic Basic, but not actually speak it. "_But you are not one of the slave species. Neither are you of the Builders. You are like the one who came before._"

"The one who came before… it must be referring to Revan."

"So what is this piece of machinery?" Juhani asked. She had tucked away her lightsabers, but was still watching the droid cautiously, her body tense and ready to defend her two companions if necessary.

"_I am the Overseer. The Builders programmed me to enforce discipline among the slaves while this monument to the power of the Star Forge was constructed. At project completion all slaves were executed. I was reprogrammed to serve should a Builder return in search of knowledge of the Star Forge._"

"These Builders sure sound like a cheery bunch," Xana remarked dryly. She wondered if the high concentration of the dark side of the Force had anything to do with the execution of these slaves. "So, Mister Slaverbot, what can you tell us about the Star Forge?"

"_The Star Forge is the glory of the Builders, the apex of their Infinite Empire. It is a machine of invincible might, a tool of unstoppable conquest._"

"But what is it?" the padawan pressed. "What does it _do_?"

"_The... the Star Forge is the glory of the Builders, the apex of their Infinite Empire. It is a machine of invincible might, a tool of unstoppable conquest._"

"The droid is obviously not programmed with the knowledge we seek," Bastila pointed out. "The Star Forge sounds like some type of weapon, perhaps... though, in fact, it could be anything."

"It sounds more like a factory or weapons plant," Xana said thoughtfully. "That would explain how the Sith were able to amass a fleet so quickly."

The brunette nodded. "Yes, that sounds probable. Though I suspect the Star Forge is far more powerful than a mere factory. Created by a highly intelligent race, no doubt. Who _are_ these Builders?"

The droid let out a proud series of beeps. "_The Builders are the great masters of the galaxy, the conquerors of all worlds, the rulers of the Infinite Empire and the creators of the Star Forge._"

"I've never heard of an Infinite Empire, or anything close to it," Xana said while searching her brain. "Whatever these Builders are, they're all dead."

"I find it strange there is no record of their existence," said the brunette, starting to sound annoyed. "Even the archives at the Jedi Academy make no mention of them, as far as I know. In the years before the Republic the Hutts were a dominant force in the galaxy, but they never constructed an empire. In fact, I know of no species that would fit with this information. Perhaps Master Dorak or Atris will know more."

"Maybe the Builders refers to the Sith," Xana ventured.

"_I know nothing of these 'Sith', but they are not the Builders. The Builders are... the Builders. The empire of the Builders is infinite and everlasting. None can stand against their might and the power of the Star Forge._"

"And how long ago did you last see a Builder, exactly?" the padawan asked, amused by the doctrine inserted in this droid. Whatever the Builders were, they knew all about the art of propaganda.

"_My chronological circuits have marked over ten full revolutions of this system's outermost planet around the sun since the Builders left._"

"Ten revolutions would take more than 20,000 years," Bastila gasped. "If this is true then this droid is nearly 5,000 years older than the Republic itself! There must be some mistake."

"_There is no mistake. The Builders constructed my chronological circuitry using the technology of the Star Forge itself. My calculations are infallible._"

"It would explain why there's no mention of the Builders in any of the archives," Xana said pensively. "So what is _your_ purpose here?" she asked the droid.

"_Now that the slaves are gone, my purpose is to aid those who seek knowledge of the Star Forge… if they are worthy. The ones who came before you – the ones like you, not Builders but not slaves – sought knowledge of the Star Forge and its origins. They proved themselves worthy and discovered the secrets of the Star Forge locked beyond the sealed door behind me._"

"We have to find out what they uncovered. How do we prove ourselves worthy?" Bastila asked.

"_The power of the Star Forge is reserved to those who follow the dark ways_," the Overseer explained._ "Prove that you follow the dark ways to open the path._"

"That's little to go on," Xana remarked, seeing her companions looking just as lost as she felt. "How did the ones before us prove their worth? The ones not Builder, but not slaves."

"_The one before you used the dark arts to inflict grueling pain on her apprentice. She was deemed worthy for her act of cruelty._"

Juhani let out a low hiss. "This place is evil to its very core."

"What do we do now?" Bastila asked, her voice bordering desperate. "We must find a way to unseal these doors to learn more about the Star Forge! The Republic is depending on us."

Despite the situation Xana watched the brunette with a faint smile, this was the Bastila she had come to love so much. Who couldn't love a woman with such limitless devotion and commitment, despite her little quirks? Hell, those little quirks made her even more desirable, more human.

But then she returned to the grim situation and tried to come up with a solution. "You're able to conjure lightning, right?" she asked the brunette tentatively.

Bastila looked at her with wide eyes. "Xana, no! Whatever you're suggesting, no."

"Bastila, this might…"

Juhani interrupted her. "You know the ways of the dark side?" she asked Bastila suspiciously.

The brunette shot her apprentice an angry look before turning to the feline. "I've fought my share of Sith Force wielders and managed to reproduce some of their techniques," she admitted. "I thought it would be to our advantage to wield the enemy's weapon against them, but I've never actually done so."

"The enemy's weapon consists of lies and torture," the feline countered fiercely. "Are you sure you want to use that on a person, no matter how evil they might be?"

A shadow briefly crossed the brunette's face, and Xana couldn't blame her. She wasn't entirely sure herself what she'd do if she came face to face with Malak, but it probably wouldn't be pretty. The shadow went as quickly as it had come and Bastila raised her head proudly. "No, I don't want that. I'm not going to lower myself to their pitiful methods."

"Yet now it might help us prove our worth to this droid," Xana pushed. "Cast lightning on me for a short moment and the secrets of the Star Forge are ours. I don't mind dealing with a little pain if it leads to the key of ending this war."

"There's no way I will allow this!" Juhani spat, standing between the two of them and pushing them apart. "This place is designed to lure us to the dark side! We cannot allow this thing to corrupt us!"

There lay truth in the Cathar's words, it was very likely that this place was designed to do just that. This temple was constructed in a Force-bubble, similar to the one inside the crystal caverns. Except here lived only the dark side of the Force, filled with hatred for everything that lived. The droid tried to appease the wretched side of people, by luring them in with promises of invincible might and unstoppable conquest.

But they had to get through the door. If they didn't find out more about this Star Forge, their chances of bringing this war to an end were looking very bleak. "Bastila is strong," the former marine told the feline. "She won't be corrupted from hurting me a bit. Hell, she has hurt me a lot during our training."

"That was with good intentions," the Cathar countered. "Pain to encourage development. This is senseless torture."

"It's not senseless. It's a way to open that bloody door to find the Star Forge and turn this war around."

Juhani growled. "This is not a game Xana! This is dangerous. No matter the intentions, it's still torture." The fact that she called Xana by her first name for the first time showed just how distressed she was.

The padawan didn't give up though. "It is, but Bastila knows I'm willing to make this sacrifice, and I know Bastila is doing it out of necessity. As long as our minds stay pure it won't affect us."

"No," Bastila suddenly said in a quiet voice, making Xana and Juhani look up at her in surprise. The brunette seemed surprised herself, but then she steadied herself. "No," she said again, louder this time. "I'm not going to hurt you, never."

The tanned woman shook her head. "Bastila, this…"

"No Xana," the master intervened, sounding surprisingly strong. "The Code prohibits a master hurting her apprentice. And you're not just my apprentice, you're a close friend as well. I'm not about to hurt a friend, no matter what."

"But…"

"It's not going to happen, Xana." Bastila's voice was powerful and direct, everything about her posture leaving no doubt that she was the one in charge, and was not accepting opposition now that she had made her decision. "That doesn't mean I'm giving up on uncovering the secrets of this temple. Can you find a way to hack the droid, or that terminal? Or pick the lock on that door?"

The apprentice shook her head, "We're dealing with equipment that's twenty_ millennia_ old. Its code is written in a language that hasn't been heard since the Republic was founded. Not to mention that the programming is probably structured unlike anything we use today. Finding out even the basics would be a long study. And, if we try to get through the door by force, we'll probably trigger the defense mechanism. Who knows what weapons are hidden to fuck up our day."

"Now it's your turn to recover your confidence," Bastila admonished, giving the tanned woman a firm pat on the back. "If I recall correctly you've had a taste of what Juhani can do. And between the two of us we can deal our fair share of damage as well."

"Isn't it much easier to just hurt me a bit?" Xana inquired. She didn't feel like putting Bastila in danger if it could be avoided. Besides, they were already exhausted from a tough battle against the apparition of Malak.

"Of course it's easier. The path of the dark side is always the easy path. What separates us Jedi from the Sith is that we make the effort to do things the right way, no matter how hard it might be."

"Listen to your master," Juhani told Xana when she was about to press her case. "Don't be tempted to take the easy path."

Xana nodded, finally giving in. "Alright," she said, looking between the two knights. "We'll do it your way. I'll try unlocking the door and you two watch my back." No sooner the words had left her mouth or Juhani had activated her lightsabers and taken a defensive position.

"I'll keep the droid disabled," Bastila told her, already gathering the Force. "You work your magic on the door."

With her back covered the padawan approached the door's terminal, quickly noticing it was as ancient as the Overseer. Much to her surprise it booted up with a soft hum when she activated it, how it had survived for so long was a wonder. The green screen lit up with an array of strange characters that made no sense to her. She tried various buttons and commands to change the language, but it seemed it wasn't programmed to be used by the 'slave races'.

Trying to block out the two impatient Jedi Knights watching her closely she went for a computer spike. Only to find out none of the input ports were compatible with the plugs of her gear. Not to be deterred she grabbed her minitool with an assortment of screwdrivers, but to her annoyance noticed the bolt heads keeping the casing in place were of an ancient shape as well.

She let out an annoyed growl, but was determined not to let the fucker get her down. It was time for drastic measures, and there's nothing quite as drastic as a lightsaber to your rusty carcass. With a loud hiss and a stream of sparks and molten metal she started working on the lower side of the metal casing, slowly but surely tearing it apart and exposing the inner workings. When she had enough access she searched through the hardware, finding the chip she thought was the processor. She attached her spike to the wires coming out of it and much to her satisfaction her tool managed to connect to the terminal.

"There we go," she muttered as she issued a number of commands through the spike, successfully bypassing its defenses and forcing the door's override. She smirked when it started sliding open. "Success!"

She had cheered too soon, the Builders had been familiar with the concept of failsafe engineering. As soon as the door started opening a defense mechanism triggered and the side walls began sliding down, revealing hidden nooks behind them. No less than ten droids were stowed away behind the two walls, of similar design as the Overseer, but equipped with an assortment of blaster weapons. The assault droids powered up and started targeting the intruders.

Xana hadn't even blinked before Juhani was already on top of the first one, unleashing her twin blades on it with a passion. The droids didn't give her time to watch in admiration, as energy bolts came pelting towards her. In a fluid motion she activated her lightsaber and entered the Soresu form, effectively blocking the strikes and attempting to reflect them back at the assailants.

She quickly analyzed the battlefield, and was surprised by Bastila. After a bit of a slow start the woman had fully recovered and was now in her element, confidently weaving the Force into barriers, electromagnetic pulses disrupting the droid's circuits and various other buffs, all the while she was using her lightsaber to defend herself. The small hints of uncertainty were completely gone and she had reverted back into the confident Jedi Knight she was. Xana watched her with a warm smile, feeling a pleasant tingling in her stomach when she saw the beautifully trained body doing what it did best.

The padawan tore her eyes away from the brunette and decided it was time to pull her own weight, if only to show the arrogant Cathar she had been trained properly. She rushed to the center of the room – destroying the defenseless Overseer by smashing it into the ceiling with a geyser-like shockwave – and started weaving the Force like possessed.

There she stood – bolstered by Bastila's confidence – like an unwavering pinnacle in the center of the battlefield. Her back was straight, shoulders squared, green eyes blazing with fierce determination. The yellow lightsaber was locked in a constant dance, reflecting and deflecting, while her free arm was unleashing hell on the attacking droids. Should a Mandalorian walk into the room he would cower away from the woman, immediately recognizing Revan's overwhelming fighting style.

The Force smashed, ripped, breached and buckled; tearing through the enemy like a maelstrom of destruction. Often she helped Juhani by smashing a droid into the wall, giving the Cathar easy pickings with the readjusting machine. One of the fallen carcasses was lifted off the ground and thrown at one of its buddies with grueling force. This was Xana at her best; the Force her weapon, her lightsaber her shield.

When the last droid was destroyed Juhani gave the padawan an odd look, but when Xana inquired what was wrong the feline shook her head and looked away. Finding out the whelp was actually competent must've been quite a shock for the kid.

Bastila gave her an approving nod. "See, was that so hard?"

"Fine, you were right," the apprentice admitted. She had no problem swallowing her pride when she had made a mistake, unlike _some_ in their group. "You made the right call."

The lnight tried to keep a straight face, but was unable to keep a tiny smile from tugging at the corners of her mouth. Xana couldn't help but grin at Bastila's behavior, it was too easy to stroke her ego to improve her self-assurance. It was one of the psychological tricks she had learned at the Lieutenant-program and it was serving her well. Confident Bastila was a powerful ally, this battle had once again proven that.

With the last resistance gone the three of them were finally able to pass through the now unsealed door. It led to the temple's last chamber, which was again rectangular. At the very end stood a strange structure, brown metallic and shaped like a spearhead. As they got closer the construct started moving; three separate arms folded away to the floor like a large flower opening to the sun. In the center a dark blue orb began floating upward, until it was suspended two feet in the air. Surrounding the orb were three prisms.

The orb turned out to be a projector, shining bright light into the prisms which in turn focused it into visible images. Bastila gasped when she recognized the blobs and nebulae that were projected in a wide, three-dimensional arc around the structure. "This is… this is a map. Some sort of intergalactic navigational chart. Revan and Malak must have used this to lead them to the Star Forge."

Xana watched the map in amazement, it was incredible that a civilization of 20,000 years old could construct something as sophisticated as this. "You reckon we could use this map to follow their path and find the Star Forge ourselves?"

"Probably," Bastila muttered. "If Revan was able to find it, so must we." She turned to her apprentice hopefully. "Have you learned how to read navigation charts by any chance?"

The former marine shook her head. "Nope, it's one big heap of mumble jumble to me. If only Onasi were here, the flight commander can probably read this like a book."

The master nodded. "We're going to need his help if we want to go after the Star Forge ourselves. Last thing I heard he was deemed fit for active duty, so perhaps the Council can pull the necessary strings to get him back on the team."

Xana sighed, she should've known Bastila would want her best buddy back on the team. Not that she could blame her, Carth was a pretty good guy, despite his broody and distrustful nature. His vast experience from the Mandalorian Wars more than made up for that, though it had come with the necessary traumas that made him possibly unstable.

Canderous Ordo had offered his help as well, which was probably even more valuable than Carth's. The gruff Mandalorian had fought all over the galaxy for forty years and had been there when Revan the Butcher slayed Mandalore the Ultimate in single combat. His determination to get revenge on the Sith coupled with his warmonger genes made him an excellent addition to the team, although Bastila was likely to disagree.

"But let's not get ahead of ourselves," said Bastila, bringing Xana's silent planning to a halt. "We should download this chart and bring it to the Council for further analysis. They must decide our next course of action, though I suspect our task has only just begun."

The padawan nodded. Of course it had only just begun, she was determined to see this thing through to the end. Even if the Council decided otherwise she'd go after this Star Forge, whatever vile construct it might be. It would fall at her hand, as far as she was concerned.


	28. Seclusion

**A/N:** _First of all congratulations to King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands, and the best of luck. Not that I'm much of a chauvinist (okay, perhaps a little bit), but he's still my king and everything, so there._

_Secondly I want to thank all of you for the continuous support. I really enjoy reading all your reviews, so keep them coming! Special thanks this chapter for Mastermind4892, you really helped me out. And as always thanks cthulu1 for the nitpicking._

_I'd like to point out that this story will stay purely Xana/Bastila, so no consensual threesomes with Juhani or any other willing party (although Xana will be… well, Xana). Some people were worried this might turn weird, but it won't. Lastly, please take a moment to look at the story's rating and second-to-last word in the story's description, and continue reading at your own discretion. Thanks!_

* * *

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Seclusion**

* * *

The green Dantooine hills didn't really register to Bastila's brain as the landscape sped by. She was quietly sitting in the passenger's seat of the landspeeder, with Xana driving and Juhani in the backseat. This time neither of them had complained when the padawan had taken the wheel, all of them just wanted to return to the safety of the enclave and forget everything that had transpired inside the ruins. At least, Juhani and she did. Xana seemed as relaxed as ever, calmly steering the vehicle like nothing had happened, humming softly to herself. Her apprentice's resilience was astonishing.

That wasn't the only surprising fact about Xana. The former lieutenant had seemingly effortlessly guided them through combat, as if she had been working with the two Jedi Knights for decades. She had a knack for getting the fullest out of them, while keeping them safe. Bastila grudgingly had to admit she wouldn't have done it any better, though she wasn't going to let Xana in on that.

She had compromised her authority enough already, by proving too weak to resist the terrors of the dark side. It had reached down to the darkest part of her mind, pulling out secrets she had tried to bury forever. Where Juhani and Xana had conquered the invasion, Bastila had crumbled down and allowed it to tear her apart.

Once again Xana had proven herself the stronger one and had reached out to her, ripping Bastila out of her self-inflicted misery with that diamond-hard will of hers. Once again she had held on to her apprentice, reveling in her warmth and natural scent that had become so familiar and assuring. The protective aura had saved her from succumbing to the darkness.

And at that moment she had seen the light, seen the way she was behaving. Unworthy of a Jedi Knight, of course. She was supposed to be a protector of the galaxy, confident and bold, doing what the common folk couldn't. Xana's superb skills – taking the lead effortlessly, destroying an apparition no one had ever seen before – had made her feel insecure about her own ability. But she realized she should be playing her own strengths, not childishly feeling jealous about Xana's.

Immediately she had proved it, by putting her foot on the brake when Xana was about to let the droid corrupt them and by pulling her weight in the battle that ensued after hacking the terminal. She smiled from the thrill she had felt from doing something right again.

"Sometimes I wish I knew what was going on that beautiful head of yours," Xana suddenly said, tearing Bastila out of her thoughts. When the brunette looked at her apprentice, she gave her master a playful, almost knowing, wink.

Bastila could feel herself heating up slightly, but she fought to keep her composure. "Of course you do, your interest in me borders obsession." She tried to sound gruff, but the dry chuckle she elicited out of the raven haired woman told her she failed.

"Keep playing hard to get and it might one day surpass mere obsession. I've found this interesting book on Force Bonds, describing in great deal how to read one's bondmate's mind. One day I'll figure out how to use it and make your secrets mine."

The knight looked at her apprentice in shock, a sinking feeling in her gut. An ability like that would compromise more than just their working relationship. "Y-you wouldn't…"

Xana laughed out loud at Bastila's perplexed expression. "Dirty conscious, Princess?"

"N-no, n-not at all! And stop calling me Princess." She darned herself for muttering like a juvenile. One day she'd figure out how Xana managed to tear down her defenses so easily.

"It's how beautiful you are," the tanned woman shrugged, eying Bastila with a sudden sincerity that made the brunette blush deeply.

"I-I… you…" She took a deep breath to center herself. "I forbid you to read that book and I forbid you to put whatever you've already learned into practice."

The infuriating woman laughed once more and laid her hand on the brunette's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Really Bastila, stop being so damn tense. I was joking, there's no such book. And even if there was, I'd never violate you like that. I'm no monster."

Bastila's mouth dropped open when she watched her apprentice in disbelief. "You… What's wrong with you?" she demanded. "Our minds have been turned upside down by that vile ruin, but fifteen minutes later you're already joking?"

Her remark sent a shadow across Xana's face and she was silent for a moment. "I… am not the same as most," she said eventually, not sounding very pleased with it. "My emotional response to horrible incidents can be flat, to the point where I can appear downright indifferent or even sadistic. My psychologist back at prison believed it has to do with my past. She thinks continuous emotional strain may have hardened me, allowed me to cope better by putting psychological trauma easily into perspective. Whatever depravity happened in my past, it has flattened me."

The brunette watched her bondmate with an aching heart. She had read the psychologist's report and when combined with the former Dark Lord's past things became very clear. The war against the Mandalorians had been brutal, Revan had seen comrades and civilians alike fall victim to their depravities. Republic soldiers had returned with severe cases of PTSD and shellshock, but Revan had evolved. Evolved simply because she had no other choice but to keep going, because she was more than a simple soldier, more than a simple human. Revan was a leader, responsible.

The tanned woman turned back to Bastila. "Don't think I'm indifferent about you though," she added, with a strange mixture of warmth and lust in her voice that made Bastila's stomach flutter. When the knight looked away she could practically feel Xana's desperation through the bond. "Really Bastila, this won't simply vanish by looking the other way. I'm not toying with you. You might think I'm rude and indecent, or teasing you like I like to tease other pretty girls, but my feelings for you are real."

Xana gently cupped the brunette's chin and forced their eyes to meet. The look of care and warmth made her insides melt, the face of the exotic woman was simply too beautiful. "I love you, Bastila," Xana tenderly said.

There it was, what Bastila had felt through the bond for months, now out in the open. She swallowed hard, conflicted by strong emotions and not finding the words, knowing everything she'd say would be wrong, one way or the other. Between the Code, Council, Revan and Xana, how could she possibly make the right choice?

The padawan saw her conflict and gave her a small, bittersweet smile. After a quick squeeze in her shoulder she turned back to focus on the road. "Just take your time," she muttered. "But know I'm all yours already, no matter your decision."

When Bastila didn't reply, Juhani let out an impatient tut behind her.

* * *

Their report to the Council was short. Bastila methodically described the ruin's defenses and how they dealt with them. The four Councilors were disturbed by the attempt to lure them to the dark side, but also felt the trio was unaffected. None of them had heard of the Builders or their Infinite Empire, not even the Chronicler Dorak. He'd investigate the matter if he had the time, but at the moment there were more pressing matters to tend to.

The navigation chart they retrieved from the ruins had been sent to the experts for analysis. At first glance it seemed incomplete and Master Vandar feared it was a single part of many. The other parts might be spread all over the galaxy, which would explain why Revan had taken such a long time traveling the Outer Rim.

Until the results came back there was nothing they could do, so the trio was dismissed. When they exited the Council Chambers Bastila quickly excused herself, telling her apprentice she needed some time alone when asked what was wrong. The padawan nodded in understanding.

The knight returned to her small quarters, breathing a deep sigh when the door closed behind her. She knelt down on the floor in front of the bed and buried her face in the covers, pulling them over her head to block out the rest of the world. Xana was tearing her apart. Or rather, she was tearing herself apart.

She had fallen in love with Xana.

She had finally come to the point where she could no longer deny it, she really was in love with her. This wasn't an extension of the crush she had on Revan. This wasn't a trick played by the Force bond. This wasn't Xana using Revan's ability of manipulation to mess with her head. This was real, pure love, an emotion so strong it controlled the very currents of her body. But above all this was a huge, insurmountable problem.

She didn't want to fight these emotions anymore.

All she wanted to do was give in to her beautiful bondmate. Revel in the affection she gave her and return it. Xana loved her too. She had told her so, and the bond radiated it. She shivered, feeling life was unfair. Why wasn't she allowed to love Xana? Why did the Code prevent her from experiencing what was supposed to be the most wonderful thing life had to offer? Was it truly wrong to hold someone and to be wanted to be held? Was it going to be like this forever? She had no idea how long she'd be working together with Xana, but it could be months, _years _even.

Could she keep suppressing these feelings for all those years without going stark raving mad?

A deep growl escaped her throat and she got up, ripping the sheets off the bed as she went. It didn't give her the relief she had hoped it would, nor did it make things more clear. She kneeled in front of her footlocker and opened it, emptying it of her sparse possessions. At the very bottom her fingers found the lid of a secret compartment and she pried it open, taking out the object that was hidden within, wrapped in cloth.

Carefully, almost reverently, she unwrapped the package, revealing a Mandalorian's mask. It was mechanical in appearance and colored grey and dark red. This object held many memories, as it was the very mask Knight Revan used to wear from the moment she went to intervene in the Mandalorian Wars, till her downfall at the hands of her traitorous apprentice. No one knew it still existed, all believed it had been lost in the destruction of Revan's flagship, the _Absolution_. But Bastila hadn't been able to part with this piece of Revan and had held on to it like a treasure.

Her finger traced the mask's outline. It strongly reminded her of that day. During their conversation on the bridge Revan had removed her mask, to prove something. Bastila had expected to see the taint of the dark side; a corrupted face with grey skin, yellow eyes burning with hatred and a mouth void of emotion. Instead she had seen a face full of life. Revan's olive skin had appeared lush and healthy, her mouth was curled in a confident smile and her green eyes radiated a warm light as they studied her. Hardly the evil Dark Mistress the Jedi had made her out to be.

Seeing her beautiful face had immediately rekindled the love and deep respect she felt for the leader. Revan had talked to her like a master would to an apprentice and hadn't hidden her attraction for the younger woman. And when they both saw the bright flash of the _Leviathan's_ turrets Revan hadn't hesitated; she had wrapped Bastila in her arms to shield her from the impact. Where she could've used the brunette as a human shield, she had chosen to give the younger woman life. Bastila had lived, while Revan had died.

Tears formed in her eyes as she watched the mask. The incredible sacrifice Revan had made still made her heart ache. Where the Jedi Masters had treated her cold and pragmatic, Revan had seen her as more than a tool and had given her the chance to live on. She still didn't know what had driven the extraordinary woman to make that decision, but from that moment on she had sworn to protect what was left of Revan, beginning by healing her back to life.

And now she was destroying Revan, by ignoring the strong feelings Xana and she felt for each other. Every time she had brushed Xana's advances off she had seen the hurt expression, had felt the pain through the bond. A pain she felt as well, making it twice as hard.

Things could no longer continue like this, her body and mind ached to be close to Xana. If only she had someone she could discuss her troubles with, put things in a different perspective. Why had she always been such a loner? Xana had readily – almost greedily – accepted Mission and Zaalbar, who represented something of a family to her. Why couldn't Bastila be like that? Why did she have to push everyone away who threatened to come too close?

A low, frustrated growl escaped her throat. The only friend she had apart from Xana was Carth Onasi. She laughed apathetically, wondering how the widower would respond when the Jedi Knight he so admired came to him with her petty love problems.

* * *

When her new commander excused herself and rushed off, Juhani was left with Bastila's rude apprentice. Not knowing how to spend the rest of her day – Belaya was on duty till late in the evening – she decided to stick around the olive skinned human a little while longer, to observe her. Figuring out the padawan gave her a hard time; Xana was strange, even for a human.

No sooner had they stepped into the circular patio or they were alerted by a distressed cry. "Xana!" The cry was soon followed by a little Twi'lek, accompanied by a large Wookie, the oddest couple Juhani had ever seen. The girl's face was scrunched up in anger as she stormed towards Juhani's new companion. "You sneaked off to a mission without letting us know!" she indignantly accused when she was standing in front of the taller human.

Xana smiled at the pouting girl and patted her head. "Sorry Mission, this was one of those missions you couldn't tag along with. The shit we've seen today was almost too much, even for a trained Jedi mind."

"You should've at least taken me." The large Wookie tried to sound bold, but he was shifting nervously on his feet, a thing that startled Juhani. The proud Kashyyyk warriors were told to fight dark Jedi valiantly, and not without success. That this one was anxious about a puny padawan was strange, to say the least. "The life-debt means I must protect you at all times."

The human shook her head. "I'm not risking your mental health, Zaalbar. I don't know how others treat their Wookie, but to me you _aren't_ expendable." If a Wookie could blush, Zaalbar would've done so, looking to the ground almost coyly.

The exchange greatly surprised Juhani. "A Wookie swore a life-debt to you?" The words seemed so unbelievable to her that she had a hard time even verbalizing them.

The girl called Mission became aware of the Cathar and her face darkened. She walked over to the feline and stood a foot in front of her, putting her hands in her sides and puffing her cheeks. "You're the one who hurt Xana!" She didn't seem scared of the fact that Juhani was a Cathar, a trained Jedi Knight and about two feet taller.

Juhani looked down at the girl curiously. Xana's companions were possibly even more surprising than the human herself. "You're a brave little creature. What does Xana mean to you that you're willing to risk your health for her?"

"Xana's my boss and she's saved our lives a bunch of times," Mission declared proudly. "She's earned our loyalty through her actions!" She pointed her little finger at Juhani's face. "And you're a bully for hurting her."

She knew what the Twi'lek was referring to and felt ashamed. Overwhelmed by the Beast, she had lashed out at the human who had only been an initiate at the time. "It was an unfortunate accident. I won't senselessly harm her again."

The Twi'lek regarded her slowly and nodded. "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. But if it happens again you'll have to answer to me!"

The Cathar's eyes darted from the girl to the massive Wookie, then to Xana. "You're a strange woman. Wookies don't swear their life-debts casually and this…" She pointed at Mission "…is true loyalty. This girl is protecting you even though she knows the odds are against her."

"Like odds have anything to do with it," Mission huffed. "You're a Jedi, so you've got to respect my boss."

Juhani nodded and patted the Twi'lek on the shoulder. "You are honorable, you can be proud of yourself." Mission's little chest indeed swelled with pride and her face warmed up considerably when she watched the Cathar. Juhani's eyes went back to Xana. "Do not betray the trust these two put in you. As their battlemaster they are your responsibility." To her credit the human nodded sincerely, clearly understanding the gravity of her position.

The Twi'lek turned around to Xana, beaming her a bright smile. "I don't see why you don't like Miss Juhani. She's totally cool!"

The human shrugged. "Maybe when you're not at the business end of her glowsticks."

"She already said it was an accident, you big crybaby. You shouldn't hold that against her, you're bigger than that." Mission turned back to the Cathar, her eyes sparkling when she stood on her toes to get closer. "Sorry about my boss," she whispered as if she were telling a secret. "She's a sore loser, she gets reaaal grumpy."

"I heard that."

Mission chuckled softly, giving Juhani a knowing wink before continuing in a normal volume. "Hey Miss Juhani, will you have dinner with us? It'll be fun, I promise!" She placed one hand on the Cathar's stomach and lightly pushed. "You're way too scrawny. All muscle, no fat; that's no good, you should eat well!"

Xana snorted. "Mission giving nutritional advice, that's bound to end well."

The Cathar looked down on the girl, feeling touched by her genuine care. "Thank you for your concern, but there's nothing wrong with my diet. My physical build is a racial trait." Two female Twi'lek Jedi passed by and the Cathar nodded at them. "Just like you'll have wide hips and large breasts when you're grown up." Her voice was as dead serious as ever, simply because she was stating facts.

Mission looked up to Juhani with wide eyes and choked, cheeks turning a few shades deeper blue. Xana laughed out loud at the girl's expression. "You'd like that, don't'cha?"

"Shaddap, you idiot. I don't need juggernauts like yours obstructing my movement!"

"Juggernauts?" Xana cupped her breasts and looked offended, nodding at the two Twi'leks that were just rounding a corner. "Compared to those dreadnoughts my modest C-cups are more like freighters. Firm, compact and versatile."

"V-versatile?" the girl sputtered, face turning possibly even darker. "How can pair of breasts be versatile? I mean… what different uses can breasts have?"

The padawan chuckled and grabbed the girl around the shoulders. "That's a lesson best left for when you're older."

Mission pouted and gave Xana a shove, trying to worm free but failing miserably so. "Stop treating me like a kid!"

Xana laughed and started tickling the girl's sides, holding her tightly locked to her body to prevent escape. "Just admit you love it when I do." Mission started twitching and giggling madly, increasing her efforts to get out of Xana's tormenting grip.

In the meantime Juhani was watching the struggling duo in bewilderment. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked Zaalbar, who was watching his friends passively.

The large Wookie shrugged. "It's a human and Twi'lek thing. I think they reckon the size of their hips and breasts are related to their sexual prowess."

The Cathar blinked. "But that's wrong."

"Of course, but try convincing them." He nodded at the still quarreling duo.

Mission had climbed on Xana's shoulders and was trying to force her to the ground, but the much stronger human had no trouble keeping her at bay. After a quick roll it was Mission who was lying on the ground, with Xana pushing her blue wrists down – locking her effortlessly into place with one hand – and assaulting her sensitive side with fervor. Passing Jedi shot them disgusted glares, but knew better than to admonish Bastila's indecent apprentice.

Seeing the duo romping around gave Juhani a feeling of nostalgia. When she had been a whelp her parents had encouraged similar playful fights. They were a good way for children to develop muscles and insight in the flow of battle. It was commendable that Xana was using the same method on her pupil and made the esteem Juhani held for her grow. Slightly.

After a short but intense fight Mission surrendered. "M-mercy!" she managed between giggles, looking like she was having the time of her life. "P-please Xana, I s-surrender."

"Tell me I'm awesome," the human demanded with a feral grin, still holding the girl tightly down and hovering her hand over Mission's side as a silent threat.

"You're awesome! You're the awesomest, pawnsomest, handsomest Jedi ever!"

"Atta girl." With a smirk Xana released Mission, getting to her feet and helping the little Twi'lek get up as well. "You've learned well, my apprentice."

Mission made a mock bow. "I thank you, my master… Mistress. _Eww_… why do Jedi call their women _master_? Talk about sexism."

"They're outrageously old-fashioned," Xana smirked, happy that she and Mission were on the same wavelength most of the time. "You can call me mistress though, I like that."

"In your dreams, creep!"

The human pouted playfully. "Killjoy."

"Pervert!"

The padawan didn't seem to have an answer to that, because she merely chuckled and patted the girl's head. "Hey Mission, I'm going to make a quick visit to the tailor. Want to tag along?"

The girl's face immediately lit up. "Sure thing! Why do you need to go there?"

Xana quickly glanced at the Cathar. "Juhani accentuates all her features in that outrageously sexy catsuit of hers and Bastila is dressed like a proper princess. Why do I have to put up with a brown garbage bag while they get the fine cut?"

Mission gave her a knowing smile. "Usually you're not the kind of person that puts up with anything."

"Exactly," the padawan answered darkly. "So let's roll."

"Aye!" The girl turned to the two aliens and waved. "Bye Big-Z, bye Miss Juhani. See you at dinner!" Zaalbar waved the two off. They were already chatting happily as they went, no doubt discussing the events of that morning.

"You're not following them?" Juhani asked.

"Xana doesn't need my protection while inside the enclave and they need to spend some time together. Besides, it's confusing and tiring to be around them. I can't follow their fast Galactic Basic very well and most of the time they don't even mean what they say. Xana says it's called joking, but I don't understand. A joke is supposed to be funny, right?"

The Cathar nodded, feeling exactly what he was saying. "Tell me about it. Half of her time she is talking nonsense, the other half she's being rude or hostile."

"Humans have a different view on honor. They think it's shameful to submit to their betters or to admit mistakes." The big Wookie was still staring after the long gone duo. "But Xana is a good person. Rough around the edges, but with her own code of honor, how strange it might be."

Juhani shook her head disdainfully. "I have a hard time figuring out whatever honor she might have."

"You should give her a chance. She's a surprising creature, who takes better care of her tribe than she takes of herself. And she makes Mission happy, treats her like a little sister. They need that."

The Cathar remained silent. Yes, the human woman was definitely surprising. But she was also skirting the borders of Juhani's patience time after time. If the rude brat was thinking she could keep getting away with her abhorrent behavior, she'd soon find out why the galaxy had once feared Cathar claws.

* * *

About an hour later Mission and Xana left the tailor's shop. The lovely Twi'lek woman had taken all measurements and they had come up with a nice design, based on Bastila's robes but with some details that were meant to project authority. Xana knew from personal experience that instilling that little bit of extra doubt on an enemy could make the difference. Her new sets would be ready in two days, so for now she had to put up with her old ones.

Mission was almost ecstatic. "Saving the galaxy in style! You _do_ know how to leave an impression."

"Sometimes you have to let the galaxy know who the Head Bitch in Charge is." The raven haired woman was grinning madly, she was very pleased with her new gear. "And it might help me seduce Bastila."

"If she can still resist you wearing those robes, she must be secretly blind. You look hella sexy!"

Xana watched the girl with a lewd smirk. "Always knew you were a bit lesbian. You sure you don't want me to find you a little Twi'lek girlfriend? You'd look so cute holding hands and cuddling together."

A slight blush rose on Mission's cheeks as she huffed. "Oh shaddap you. You can't even get _yourself_ a girlfriend."

Her face fell. "I actually followed your advice today, Blue. I told her I love her."

The Twi'lek watched her curiously. "Really? How'd she respond?"

"It nearly tore her apart. I can see and feel she wants it too, but she's conflicted about it. It seems the Jedi Masters have fully brainwashed her."

"Hmm, maybe she just needs some time to come to terms with it. Maybe she thought all along you were just fooling around with her, like you fool around with every pretty girl you meet. Now she knows you're serious she's bound to come around! Certainly when we leave the stupid enclave with those stupid Jedi terrorizing her."

"Yeah, perhaps you're right." Xana smiled, feeling renewed hope. She'd just need to give Bastila some time, it was not that they'd leave each other soon with their Bond forcing them together. She gently stroked Mission's lek, knowing she loved that. "You're the best little sis ever."

"Little sis?" Mission watched her with big eyes, but then her face turned in a big, goofy grin. "Since when did you change from my boss to my big sis?"

"Because you're fired for digging your blue little nose way too deep in your boss' love life. But seeing how I love it when you do and how I want you to stay with me forever, I've promoted you to a position where you simply can't leave me anymore. You don't abandon family."

The girl giggled. "You're a big, freaking weirdo, big sis. You know that right?" Despite her harsh words she smiled brightly and she gently hugged her newly adopted sister.

"Boy, do I know it. And frankly I don't give a shit."

Mission laughed at that. The two of them continued on their way, merrily chatting and joking as they crossed the enormous courtyard. Halfway across Mission suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, eyes growing big as she recognized a pretty Twi'lek woman with golden skin and an outrageously sexy outfit. "Lena?"

The other Twi'lek turned around and recognized the girl. "Mission? Y-you survived Taris?" Relief was clearly visible in her eyes and she rushed forward to embrace the girl, but Mission held up her arms to push her way. The woman called Lena was visibly surprised by the hostility. "Mission sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Don't call me that," Mission snarled, definitely sounding hostile right now. "Where's Griff?"

"I wanted to ask _you_ that question. When Griff and I broke up he said he'd return to Taris to find you. Weren't you still with the Hidden Beks?"

"You're lying! He didn't come to the Beks. You stole him away from me, forced him to abandon me."

Lena now looked genuinely distressed. "Sweetie, what are you talking about? You could have come with us if you wanted to! It was your choice to stay behind!

For a moment Mission was taken aback. "Why would I have wanted to stay on Taris all alone when I could also be exploring the galaxy with you two? Griff told me you didn't want his little sister tagging along. That's why he had to leave me behind!"

"W-what? But that's a lie! I adored you, remember? I wanted you to come with us, Mission. I even offered to pay for your ticket! I mean, why not? I paid for everything else while I was with that freeloader. But he told me you didn't want to leave Taris. I said we shouldn't even go then, but he said we'd come back and get you after we struck it rich on Tatooine - just another one of his lies."

"Y-you _were_ fond of me, but… but Griff said… Griff wouldn't... he wouldn't try to leave me behind!"

"Then why would he tell us two different stories? Griff is always looking to blame other people for his own problems, that's probably why he abandoned you. Perhaps he thought you were only holding him back. He did the same thing to me, as soon as I ran out of money. He started blaming me for all his problems. Like it's my fault his get-rich-quick schemes never work out!"

"Don't you start trashing my brother, you cantina rat! Take that back or I'll smack you so hard your lekku will pop off!"

Xana saw tears forming in Lena's eyes and grabbed Mission's shoulder gently. "Blue, I know you revere your brother, by don't you see Lena's distress? It seems she genuinely cares for you, while your brother…"

"No!" Mission's voice was adamant as she cut through Xana's words. "I won't let her destroy us even more! I'm glad Griff broke up with you, he's better off without you anyway, you table-dancing, brother-stealing home wrecker!" She ripped her shoulder free and ran off to the enclave. Lena called after her, but Mission stormed off without even glancing back.

"Oh, Griff you damn Hutt-spawn," Lena grumbled, as she wiped her eyes dry. She turned to Xana. "I'm sorry, you seem close to Mission. I didn't mean to upset her. Her brother's lies must have poisoned her opinion of me, there was a time when she looked up to me like a bigger sister."

"That does sound something she'd do." Apparently Zaerdra and Xana weren't the only ones Mission had tried to gain acknowledgment from. "Look, I don't know which side to pick right now, but it seems like Griff and I need to have a serious chat. Any idea where I might find him?"

"Like I said, I thought he'd return to Taris to find Mission, but perhaps he ran out of money. I do remember him telling he had plans of making a fortune working the Czerka Corp mines on Tatooine, perhaps you'll find him there. But as far as I'm concerned he's out of my life forever!"

"Judging from what I've gathered today that sounds sensible." Xana nodded at the Twi'lek and started moving, but Lena grabbed her by the arm.

"Please, if you find Griff, and Mission sees him for the asshole he is, you must tell her I'm heading for Manaan. You know, so I can properly apologize for everything."

The padawan regarded her for a moment, then patted her arm briefly. "I'll tell her."

Lena gave her an appreciative smile.

* * *

Late that night Belaya was waiting for her lover to return. Juhani had been summoned to another meeting with the Council, together with her two new companions. It didn't bode well that her beautiful Cathar was seeing the masters so often, together with the hero that had killed the Dark Lord herself. Coupled with the mystery her mission was shrouded in it wasn't hard to piece together what was going to happen.

When Juhani finally stepped through the door the look on her face confirmed Belaya's fear. She flung herself into the feline's arms and embraced her tightly. "You're leaving, aren't you?" Her voice was soft and at breaking point.

"Belle…" It was no more than a breath. Strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her close. "We knew this day would come."

Tears welled up in her eyes and she trembled. "I can't join you, can I?"

"The enclave's defenses are spread thin as they are, they can't send another Jedi Knight off to war. Besides, suggesting it would only raise suspicion about us. They could separate us forever if they found out." Juhani gently kissed Belaya's forehead. "We can't change the Council's beliefs about love."

The human nodded, silently cursing the sickening secrecy. She pulled back and looked her lover in the eyes. "I'm going to miss you, Ju."

"And I you, Belle." The Cathar leaned in and placed a tender kiss on the human's lips. "But no tears. It is but a temporary inconvenience, nothing more. I trust in Bastila, she once ended Revan's madness and she can end Malak's as well. Once I've helped her end this war we'll be together for the rest of our lives, I'll make sure of that." Juhani kissed her again, but this time it was deeper, full of need. "We leave in three days, let's treasure the time we have left."

Belaya felt the same desperate need and her core began heating up. If she had three days she'd use them to the fullest. She buried her tongue deeply in her lover's mouth, where it met a much stronger one. For a moment they battled, but Juhani's tongue won out and delved deep into Belaya. A low moan escaped her when the wet muscle filled her completely.

The feline released her and took a step back, making her immediately miss the contact. "Undress." Juhani's order was spoken softly, but demanding. Belaya immediately complied, doing her best not to rip the robes right of her body as she stripped down. When she was naked she stood straight for inspection, hands folded behind her back and legs slightly apart, just how Juhani wanted it. Yellow eyes studied her body appreciatively, darting all over her almost lazily. Her folds slowly became moist as the rising anticipation nearly became too much for her.

When the still fully clothed Cathar was satisfied she slowly walked around the waiting human, eyes never leaving her nude form and a single finger brushing over her sensitive flesh. She stood behind Belaya and pushed herself against her lover, letting her hands trace the body with silk touch. The feeling of her naked skin rubbing against the warm fabric of Juhani's robes was fuel to her arousal. Goosebumps appeared everywhere the soft fingers crossed, on her belly, her chest, her breasts. She softly whimpered when Juhani squeezed her nipples between her fingers. In response the Cathar buried her lips in Belaya's neck, softly licking the delicate skin.

"Kneel." The Cathar's voice had been reduced to a hoarse whisper, but hadn't lost any of its intense authority and Belaya found herself unable to disobey.

Cathar culture revolved around a strong hierarchy, something that was reflected in their mating rituals. Juhani – being the stronger Jedi – was the one in charge and Belaya – being submissive to begin with – fully accepted that. For the Cathar it was merely respectful and dutiful to take full control of her lover, but for the human submitting to the orders of the strong and gorgeous woman was highly arousing. It gave an incredible sense of freedom to surrender completely to the woman she unconditionally trusted.

It was a game they had played often. One by one Juhani ordered Belaya to remove her pieces of clothing, allowing the obedient human to tenderly nibble on the exposed skin underneath. She was forced to follow her lover's pace, although she desperately wanted to rip the clothes right off her stunning body. More than once did she shoot Ju a begging pout, but she was always rewarded with a stern, steady gaze.

After what felt like an hour she finally had the Cathar fully naked. Sitting on her knees she took in the marvelous body towering above her. Flat muscles and bones poked through sandy skin, but there was just enough fat in the right places to give her feminine curves. Yellow eyes were burning like molten gold as Juhani studied the submissive creature kneeling in front of her, making Belaya feel exposed and vulnerable, but at the same time desirable and sexy.

"Lay down on the bed."

Juhani moved on top of her when she was lying on her back, pushing her full weight down until every inch of skin was making contact. The Cathar's fluffy skin was way too soft and made Belaya go crazy. The muscular tongue attacked her mouth again and she almost came from that sensation alone. She breathed in deeply when Juhani gave her mouth some respite.

Juhani began assaulting other places of Belaya's body with her fingers and tongue; her earlobe, neck, collar bone, then tracing powerful paths over her breasts and nipples. The eager tongue moved over her ribcage, down to her abdomen where it teased her navel for a short while. The cruel feline then completely skipped over her throbbing folds, going down to her inner ties instead. She comfortably settled between Belaya's spread legs, lazily playing around with the wet and waiting flesh, but never giving her the satisfaction she craved.

"Please Ju," Belaya begged, feeling like she couldn't take it any longer. "Please take me."

Juhani looked her lover in the eyes. "Who do you belong to?"

"To you, Juhani. I'm all yours."

Juhani covered Belaya's vagina with her hand. When the human tried to push into her and rub around she sternly shook her head, making Belaya stop hesitantly. "Whose is this?"

"Yours Juhani, everything you see is yours. P-please." Her breath had quickened and she was whimpering wildly.

"All mine, Belaya. Until the end of our lives and in the afterlife." Juhani repositioned herself so her mouth was in front of Belaya's vagina, which was radiating heat and wetness like crazy. Her deft fingers folded the human's labia apart and she pressed her nose against the exposed flesh, breathing in deeply to take in her lover's musky scent. Then she had her way with Belaya, by penetrating her with her long tongue. It filled her core and expanded in strong pulses, creating wonderful friction and compression. Soft fingertips started massaging her sensitive clitoris.

While Juhani was taking her, all Belaya could do was whimper and remember to breathe. The Cathar's muscled tongue was pulsating and pushing inside her narrow passage, soft fingers and upper lip were tormenting her sensitive bud. The orgasm was imminent, the earlier teasing and commanding had brought her incredibly close and it didn't take much to bring over the edge.

When the orgasm came, wave after wave of ecstasy coursed through her body like burning hot water and she had no other choice but to surrender to them, ride them. She whimpered and panted as she came, her lover's name on her lips, clinging to the sheets until the last pulse had contracted her body. She lay shivering in the bed and couldn't keep her legs from trembling, long after the orgasm was gone.

Juhani moved back on top of Belaya and kissed her deeply, letting the human taste her own juices. Even if she wanted to protest she didn't have the energy to do so. The Cathar grabbed her close and twisted them around so she was the one laying on bottom. Belaya was catching her breath secure in her lover arms, who was trembling under her in anticipation. "Your turn, Belle."

She laughed shakily and pushed herself up, licking Juhani's lips teasingly. "Yes, my love." She delved her tongue back in the Cathar's mouth, planning to take just as much cruel time as her lover had.

* * *

After a long night of lovemaking the two of them lay exhausted in the bed, Belaya curled up against her lover with her head resting on the Cathar's shoulder. Juhani's skin was softer than the finest silk and she couldn't get enough of it. Her entire body was still tingling from Ju's abuse and she let out a content sigh. "That was amazing, Kitten. Bastila doesn't know what she's missing out on."

A deep growl escaped Juhani's throat. "Her blatant disrespect is not only destroying herself, but the apprentice she's responsible for as well. Today Xana declared her love to Bastila, but she didn't even respond. How Xana bears with such desolation is a mystery to me."

Belaya gently traced the Cathar's ribs, loving how they poked through the skin. "You need to talk to her, Ju. Make her understand love and affection is something beautiful."

"I've tried, Belle. But she thinks the current explanation of the Code is infallible and won't be convinced otherwise."

"Poor Xana."

The feline let out a dry snort. "I'd have more sympathy for her if she weren't such a rude creature. I swear if she disrespects me or her master one more time I'll teach her a lesson she won't soon forget."

"Hmm, I'm sure a bit of discipline would do her good. But you must be careful Ju, you can't just go about hurting her for everything that bothers you." She knew she had to phrase her next words carefully. "Cathar and humans don't have the same social norms."

"Xana has _no_ social norms."

Belaya chuckled. "Can't disagree on that. I'm sure some of your guidance will make her a better person, as it did to me." Suddenly emotions overwhelmed her, their little pillow talk made her all too aware of how much she was going to miss her lover. She wrapped herself close to the soft woman and shivered. "Do come back safely."

"You know I can't make such promises. You also know I'm strong and not foolish, so let that be a reassurance." When Belaya nodded with her face buried in the feline's neck, Juhani gently patted the human's head. "I just hope I can get along with the group. They're hiring a _Mandalorian_ to aid us, can you imagine?"

The human knight pulled her head back, looking concerned and surprised. "A Mandalorian? Who in their right mind pairs a Cathar with a Mandalorian?"

"He's supposed to be a veteran and Xana claims he's honorable, wishing to redeem his race. Master Vandar says those who aided Bastila and Xana on Taris are tied to their destiny. I trust in his wisdom, but I don't like it one bit. If this Mandalorian is indeed a veteran, chances are he has the blood of innocent Cathar on his hands."

"Well… if he's willing to help end the war, he can't be _that_ bad, right? Just don't let him get to you."

"We shall see." Juhani closed the subject by kissing Belaya tenderly. "Get some sleep. You'll need your energy tomorrow."

The human yawned widely and settled against the soft, warm pillow that was her lover. "Yes ma'am," she muttered contently and almost immediately drifted off to a deep sleep.


	29. The Point of no Return

**Book Two – Rebirth**

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Point of no Return**

* * *

"Is it truly wise to send this woman after the Star Forge?" the Jedi Master demanded, openly questioning his colleague. "She seeks confrontation and tries to provoke us on every turn. She's as likely to destroy the Star Forge as she is to join Malak's cause and attempt to overthrow us."

The other master held up his hands in an attempt to calm the other. "Xana has no desire of destroying the Republic and the Jedi Order. In that regard Mission Vao was an unexpected yet valuable gift, for it has made Xana greatly adverse to Malak and his ruthless war. She will never join him or attempt to continue his campaign. Besides, this time we have our fail-safes in place."

The first looked skeptical. "Ah yes, the reprogramming of Revan's mind. I am not convinced. I thought Miss Grey was supposed to be made subservient to Bastila, but that seems far from the case. Wouldn't it have made more sense to make her loyal to the Republic instead?"

"That's not possible. For an idea to take hold to the mind, it needs to have a basis. Revan never felt any kinship to the Republic, therefor the idea of being loyal to it would be swiftly rejected. Turning her loyal to the woman who saved her life however…" He gave his colleague a significant look.

"But it looks like Grey's mind is slowly rejecting this idea as well. At the start of her training she was very susceptible to Bastila's orders, but right now she offers her master enough resistance to be worrying. Besides, Revan wasn't known to submit to anyone."

"Our purpose wasn't to make Xana a mindless slave. We very much need the old, brilliant Revan. I hope you _do_ realize her success was in a large part due to her stubborn, challenging nature. We fully expected Xana to fight her restraints, so don't fear she might break free. We learned from our mistakes. Indeed, we did a rather… thorough job to ensure her loyalty. Have a little faith in us."

* * *

Departure day was hectic. Two of their team members were still yet to arrive and the _Ebon Hawk_ was still being prepared. The stolen Exchange vessel was currently being retrofitted to properly accommodate their small team, allowing it to serve as a home as well as a base of operations. The choice for this freighter had been simple, the outrageously fast ship would allow them to outrun any Sith fighters or other adversaries with ease, perfect for their mission.

Bastila and Xana had been charged to find the missing pieces of the star map. The Builders didn't give out the location of their Star Forge easily; they had fragmented the navigational chart and spread the pieces all over the galaxy. To ensure the solution wasn't lost forever they had left clues in their part, which had been traced back by the experts to the desert planet Tatooine. They suspected another piece of the map was hidden there.

Their hypothesis corresponded to the intel the Jedi had on Revan and Malak. During their journey after the Mandalorian Wars they had been spotted at least once in Anchorage, a miner settlement on Tatooine. It would be their first destination, the first of what seemed to be many. Roughly twenty percent of the map was filled in, so logically there had to be four other parts, hidden anywhere in the galaxy. It was the task of Bastila and Xana to find them all and eventually lead the Jedi Order to the Star Forge, whatever it might be.

A small team had been assigned to them. The Jedi Guardian Juhani would accompany them, which Xana considered both a blessing and a curse. Zaalbar was bound to her by honor, so he was coming as well. For undisclosed reasons Master Vandar had been adamant that those who helped them on Taris were to come along, including the Mandalorian Canderous Ordo. When his name had been called Juhani had tensed, making Xana worry old blood between the Cathar and Mandalorians might lead to fireworks. That didn't mean Xana wasn't happy with his expertise, quite the contrary. He had seen more war than Bastila and her combined. The last two to join them were Carth Onasi and – obviously – Mission Vao.

Xana hadn't seen much of Bastila in the last few days. They both had their own tasks for the preparations, but she was pretty sure her master was avoiding her ever since she'd declared her love. The brunette certainly seemed anxious and depraved of sleep, avoiding eye contact whenever they were together. There wasn't much she could do about it. She had played her cards, now it was up to Bastila to make her move.

She sighed, she just wanted things between them to become normal again. Having gone from spending nearly all of the time with Bastila to virtually none was proving harder than she had expected. She admonished herself for whining. _Own damn fault for falling in love with a Jedi Knight, stupid bitch._ She shook her head and continued on her way to the docks, where Carth was scheduled to arrive any minute now.

* * *

Carth was already waiting when Xana got to the docks. They acknowledged each other with a nod, after which an awkward silence followed. For a tense moment they considered each other, waiting for the other to make a move. They hadn't spoken for six months and some irritation still lingered unspoken between them. Xana was the first to move by tentatively extending her hand. "Onasi mate, how are you doing?"

He smiled in relief and moved forward to shake her hand. "Much better. They had me tied to a desk for nearly four months. PTSD, you know how it is." Xana nodded sympathetically, during her short time with the Republic she had seen with own eyes what war could do to soldiers. "Lucky for me it's much easier to treat these days, they've developed meds that greatly suppress the symptoms. Talking with the shrink helped too, helped me give a place to my past."

"Good to hear. So, you sure you're ready for this? There's no shame in retiring, you know? You earned your stripes during the Mandalorian Wars."

The pilot shook his head. "I need to do this, Grey, for my own peace of mind. Don't worry about me breaking down. I've flown some missions last month, killed some Sith. I'm ready for this."

Xana smirked and gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. "Alright, you know yourself best. I must say it's good to have you back, if only to talk some sense into the Princess. Although I still hate you," she added in a teasing voice.

Carth gave her a shameful grin. "I guess I owe you an apology. My distrust in you was totally ungrounded, Bastila says you're a fine Jedi and as poised to end the Sith Empire as we are. I'm sorry."

The former lieutenant waved it away. "Pfft, forget about it. Last time we worked together I had half a mind to abandon everything and become a petty criminal once again. Finding my roots and everything? Even _I_ would've distrusted me."

The pilot's smirk widened. "You _were_ unbearable at times."

"Oh believe me, I still am. Ask Bastila." Her wanton smile turned sincere and she extended her hand once again. "Let's call it even?"

He firmly shook her hand and nodded. "Even. Now, Bastila told me we're on a tight schedule. I'd like to check the ship out before we depart." Xana gestured for Carth to follow her and they fell in stride next to each other. While she led the pilot to the _Ebon Hawk_ – which had just been rolled out of the hangar it had been stored in for the last six months – they comfortably caught up on everything that had happened in the last six months.

Just as the ship came into view they were approached by Bastila, who greeted Carth like an old friend. She appeared tense and twitchy, not daring to look Xana in the eyes. She told the pilot she needed to discuss something with him in private and immediately started herding him away with gentle force. He gave Xana a confused look, but she just returned it with a shrug.

* * *

Bastila led her friend to a secluded place just outside the enclave, scanning the area to make sure they weren't being overheard. When she was satisfied she turned to the flight commander. "Carth, I have a huge problem!"

Carth was slightly taken aback by her behavior and sudden outburst. "Err, alright… what's up?"

"I've fallen in love with Xana Grey."

He blinked. "Oh, right," he said rather unenthusiastically. "I mean, congratulations. Grey must be happy, she was really into you."

"Wha-? No, you don't understand. I'm a Jedi Knight, I can't fall in love!"

The flight commander gave her a bewildered look. "Meaning you're a medical miracle for the fact that you just did? They locking you up in a closed ward for observation?"

"Carth, I'm being serious here! I've fallen in love, but I can't. What am I going to do?"

"How about stop talking in contradictions for starters? Either you fell in love, or you can't. Doing both is rather impossible, last time I checked."

"You know what I mean, so stop messing around. You're my only friend and I need your help."

He watched her sheepishly. "What do you expect from me? My sexual experience is rather limited to begin with and I honestly don't know how it works for two women. Maybe you try rubbing them together?"

A deep blush appeared on Bastila's cheeks. "_What?_ Carth, stop being such an utter bastard! I can't be with Xana because the Jedi Code forbids us, _that's_ the problem here."

An inaudible 'oh' appeared on Carth's mouth and he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Err, sorry 'bout that. But honestly, she seems more than fond of you and I guess she's a pretty decent person. Beautiful too. Despite the pain it brought, my time with Morgana was wonderful. Life's short, can you live with the regret of missing out on Grey, if you're sure you two are meant for each other? Could you die peacefully?"

"But the Code…" She gave him an almost pleading look.

"Hmm, do it secretly?" he suggested in a serious tone, seeing her sad puppy eyes.

"Carth, grow up. We aren't children."

"Oh, right… So what does Grey say about all this?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't discuss this with her! I haven't even come out to her yet."

Carth blinked. "Okay, now you've lost me. I thought you came to me because the two of you failed to come to a satisfactory arrangement."

The brunette growled in frustration. "Yeah, thanks for nothing Carth. You're about as useful as a Hutt at lunchtime." She turned around and stormed off.

The pilot watched her go aghast. "Yeah, thank you too," he told the air. "I'm fine by the way, thanks for asking."

* * *

Back inside the enclave Bastila nearly trampled over Master Vandar, failing to spot the small figure in her hurry. After a quick apology she wanted to make her escape, but he wasn't going to let her get away that easily. He must've noticed her recent anxious behavior, because he wanted to have a word with her in private. All she could do was follow meekly when he led her away.

They went to the enclave's roof, a place where they usually had their private conversations, as it offered seclusion without being confining. Over the last six months they had talked quite a bit, Bastila was completely new to the role of master and didn't have the easiest of apprentices. The wise master was more than willing to provide a kind word of advice whenever Xana gave her trouble.

The Jedi Master sat down with his back against the wall, letting the rays of the sun warm his old body. Bastila sat beside him, nervously looking at the view and wondering if he was suspecting anything. "I am impressed with you, Bastila. We suspected Xana would be a swift learner, considering most of Revan's stubbornness and muscle memory remains intact. Still, no one had anticipated her growth to be this tremendous. You are a good master and an even better influence."

The brunette looked away, confused and wondering if this was a trap, because she didn't feel special in the slightest. "Revan's fierce determination is shining through here, fueled by the atrocities that happened to the one closest to her. When Mission Vao saw everything she cared for wiped out, the war came a little too close to Xana."

"That event has certainly been a catalyst, but do not count yourself out. Revan always had a tendency to study everything at once. Master Kreia was the only one able to keep her in reign and focused on important matters. Her later masters all failed in that regard, as they failed to earn Revan's respect." The sage gave her a meaningful look. "Until you. That is an achievement you should be proud of."

Bastila shook her head. "Her obedience seems to stem from the Force Bond rather than the respect she holds for me. A-And perhaps the need for the affection of a close friend." Her face turned red and she looked the other way. "Something I cannot give her, of course."

"Hmm, ho now, young Bastila. There are assumptions in your words that are equally hasty as they are faulty. Are you not her master? Are you not bonded to her through the Force? As such, is her wellbeing not your responsibility?"

"B-But… such relations are prohibited!" The brunette watched the master apprehensively. How much did he know about the extent of her feelings for Xana? Was he probing for information?

Vandar studied her keenly. "Ah, it seems I have come to the root of your anxiety. Your recent disquiet has had me worried, Bastila, for I could not figure out from where it came. Usually you are confident and considerate at the start of an important mission, so that could not be the source. But I see it now. You have grown close to Xana and are afraid those attachments might corrupt you both, am I correct?"

"I- I was always told Jedi can't form close friendships. I'm… afraid, yes. Afraid that I'll become something I do not wish to be. And… afraid Xana becomes something she once was. The Code warns us for strong emotions."

"Ah, the Code. A most peculiar text. It has as many interpretations as there are Jedi Masters, or so it would seem. Some indeed claim Jedi need to shun all closeness. I take it the masters you served under were all of that opinion?" When Bastila nodded, a sad smile shadowed his features. "I was afraid of that. When your gift of Battle Meditation was discovered, you were reassigned to the more strict masters. It saddens me that you have not received much warmth during your upbringing, for there is much strength to be gained there. Have you never felt it in your friendship with Xana?"

Bastila stayed on guard, still not comfortable with the subject. "I… well, yes. She is… her presence is… powerful. She radiates this aura that offers protection and bolsters my confidence."

"And have you ever tried giving her strength in a similar manner?"

"After Juhani defeated her," she admitted. "Exhaustion and shame became too much for her and she felt worthless. I-I embraced her and assured her she was far from it. It worked, her confidence returned. I was surprised by the affect I had on her."

"And after admitting that to yourself, do you still truly believe this beautiful bond of friendship you share is such a bad thing?"

Bastila studied the sage for a long time, the warmth in his voice betrayed he wasn't trying to lure her in a trap. He only wanted to _help_. "Well… no. Quite the contrary, it makes us both better people."

"Indeed. Where you believe your friendship might wound Xana, I believe it will _heal_ her." When Bastila gave him a confused look he continued. "Xana is a wounded soul, Bastila. Her life is a terrible wreck and she is desperately trying to pick up the pieces. Her need to go after Malak and the Sith is not so much a quest for vengeance, but rather a way for her to confirm that her life matters. Someone needs to make her realize there is more to life than fighting this war. There are still beautiful things too, even for us Jedi."

"So you are saying instead of pushing her away, I should welcome her friendship?"

Master Vandar gave her a grave look. "Be very aware that the two of you can never part again. Your souls are connected by the Force so strongly that when one dies, the other will most likely suffer a similar fate. The bond formed on the bridge of the _Absolution_, when you showed Revan the mercy of saving her life. It is defined by those incredible emotions of respect and compassion. Xana felt it during your first meeting aboard the _Endar Spire_ and it will continue to affect you until the very end. The Force is guiding you on a path of camaraderie and loyalty, do not repress that! It will devour you both if you continue treating each other coldly for the remainder of your lives."

"I never really thought of it that way." Bastila sat in silence, watching the horizon but not taking in the view. She had been right, she _was_ destroying Xana by shunning her. But still… "This isn't easy, Master Vandar. Methodically training her into a Jedi was doable, but _befriending_ the former Dark Lord…"

"Do not think of her as Revan anymore." Something in Vandar's voice was stern. "Xana Grey is a completely different person."

"Whenever I look at her, I always have this eerie feeling Revan lingers just behind her green eyes, waiting for the right moment to reawaken. It feels like I could trigger it by coming too close." There it was, her biggest fear outspoken for the first time. The main reason why she had kept Xana's advances at arm's length and why she was so conflicted about her feelings for the former Dark Lord.

The old master immediately disarmed that fear. "That is impossible, there is too little left of Revan for her to return. Much of her memories were destroyed when you recovered her body, salvaging her was beyond our capabilities. We were forced to lock away the remainder of her memories via a strong memory block, to prevent harmful side-effects like hallucinations. But I understand your concern. While her memory is gone, her personality is not, giving Xana an uncanny semblance to Revan. But be assured the former Dark Lord is truly gone." A shadow crossed his face. "A fact that still hurts me deeply."

Bastila let that information sink in and sighed a deep breathe of relief, feeling her entire body relax. She trusted Master Vandar completely, he had proven again and again to be wise and reliable. If he said she had nothing to fear of Revan, she _had_ nothing to fear of Revan. "You have no idea how much that eases my mind." She had to force herself not to burst out in cheerful laughter.

"For that I am glad. However, let Revan's downfall be a lesson to you, for Xana is bound by the same flaws. She is bold and pragmatic, threading her own cold and calculated path. She needs a strong guiding hand, someone who understands her and is able to offer resistance when she threatens to lose sight of what is important. Someone who is not afraid to voice her disagreement, but is also able to mend her soul by being there for her. That person is you."

The Master got heavily to his feet – reminding Bastila just how old he was – and smiled kindly at her. "Know that the entire Council trusts in your wisdom. Even Master Vrook – cold as he may appear – has confidence you will make the right decisions. I can only hope one day you will find the same confidence in yourself." With a final nod he left.

* * *

Bastila was hurrying to the docks. Canderous Ordo would arrive any minute, which was their cue to leave. Everything was prepared for their journey, all that remained was load up Ordo's luggage and depart. She had her doubts about the gruff Mandalorian tagging along, but had been swayed by both Xana and Master Vandar. The wise master saw something in the war veteran, so perhaps he would be useful.

He certainly didn't lack enthusiasm. When the invite came he had responded excitedly, dropping all his current work to be part of the mission. Thanks to the war space travel from the planet he was currently working on to Dantooine was difficult, but fortunately for him he had made it just in time. Bastila would've departed without him all the same, but it seemed she was in no such luck.

Halfway to the docks she ran into Xana and Mission. When she gave the padawan a second look she stopped dead in her tracks and felt her face heating up rapidly. "X-Xana? What on this Force-blessed planet are you wearing?"

The padawan gave her an indifferent shrug like there was nothing out of the ordinary. "Robes."

Bastila looked her over, seeing that her clothing indeed represented something like robes. Except that they were the most sensual set of robes she had ever seen. The base consisted of a set of white pants and sleeveless polo, each stretching over her body like a second layer of skin. It was so tight that Bastila feared it might tear apart if Xana made a wrong move. At the back of her waist hung a black half skirt that waved out widely to the floor, giving her the dignified look of a true Jedi Knight. On her feet was a pair of comfortable looking black boots.

Her toned arms were fully exposed for the world to see – Force, Bastila had never noticed how beautifully subtle the muscles of her shoulders and arms curved out – and she wore a pair of black, fingerless gloves. Draped over her shoulders was a set of spaulders made from black cloth. They were similar to the ones Bastila wore, but a bit higher and more pronounced. Together with the high, black collar she looked authoritative and slightly intimidating.

The collar hung open rather lazily, with the opening plunging down to give a view of her breasts. It wasn't in any way outrageous or vulgar, but actually very tasteful and empowering. Here stood a woman that was confident in her body and not afraid to use it to influence those around her.

It was all white with black details, a perfect mix of angelic Jedi and demonic Sith. The only colored detail was the wide leather belt around her waist, which was of a deep brown similar to that of the standard Jedi robes. Her shoulder length hair was tied at the back in a ponytail – with a few strands escaping nonchalantly at the fringe – and she looked ready to jump right into action. How she did it was beyond Bastila, but Xana managed to look imposing, commanding, sturdy and incredibly sexy at the same time.

_Xana Grey is jaw dropping gorgeous._

"Judging by the dip of your lower jaw you like what you see," Mission stated with a mischievous grin. "Are you sure you want to let all of that slip away?"

The knight blurted something out that sounded like a combination of 'no' and 'wha-?', eliciting a giggle from the girl. "Why?" she finally managed to ask.

Xana once again shrugged. "Why not? It looks good, doesn't it?" She flashed the brunette a sultry smile that sent the butterflies going rampage. "Mission and I were of the opinion we want to save the galaxy in style."

For the first time Bastila looked at the young Twi'lek and saw she was wearing a brand-new combat suit. This too was formfitting, but equipped with several armor inserts at strategic places. Whatever curves her lithe, adolescent body already had were accentuated by the suit and her arms were completely bare, just like Xana. The deep grey colored suit made the girl look a few years older and – Bastila had to be honest – quite pretty.

Mission saw her looking and smirked. "You know us Twi'leks, our race demands we need to look pretty for the boys."

"Or the girls," Xana added playfully.

The girl huffed and gave the human a shove. "Shaddap!"

The padawan pointed at Bastila. "Hey, the galaxy's prettiest and coolest Jedi Knight is a lesbian, there's nothing wrong with it."

"Except that I ain't, you ogler!"

Xana grabbed her chest in an exaggerated manner. "Why do you always wound my feelings? I merely wish the best for you."

Mission folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow. "So the best for me is a sixteen year old twi'lek girl with slightly too large breasts for her age, who – because she's too young for you to date – you couple to me so you can see her snogging anyway? Creep!"

"Errrrr…" The padawan scratched her head awkwardly. "Have I ever told you you're way too smart for your own good?"

"You two are insufferable." Bastila couldn't suppress a tiny smile tugging at her lips, the infinite challenging yet playful banter between these two was starting to get to her. She gave Xana a pointed look. "So… what's with the color scheme?"

"Isn't it obvious? The perfect combination of light and dark." She pointed at her brown belt. "With a little Jedi ugly to show my current allegiance. See it as a sign of good will."

"How generous," the knight remarked dryly. "Well, let's head for the docks, Ordo should be here any minute. The faster we can leave the enclave, the better."

She wanted to push past Xana, but the padawan grabbed her arm to stop her. "No verdict?" she asked, while wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Bastila turned her eyes downward to avoid eye contact, but was greeted by Xana's breasts instead. She noticed the toned woman was wearing a push-up bra that made them look much rounder and more inviting, certainly from this angle. She coughed and felt her cheeks heating up when she realized what she was thinking. When she looked back up she saw Xana smirking openly at her. "That's what I thought."

Bastila huffed. "You're such a shameless creature."

The apprentice's smirk only widened. "That's kind of you to say, thank you."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "I thought we were going on a trip to save the galaxy, not a fashion shoot."

Green eyes turned to her master's brown robes. "Hi pot. Or are you the kettle?"

After another quick glance at Xana's breasts Bastila scowled. "At least I cover up all the fleshy bits."

"Why hide the beauty nature has given us?" The padawan took a suggestive look at the brunette's breasts. "Although in retrospect, it'll make the inevitable unpacking much more exciting."

"Inevitable unpacking…" Bastila's voice trailed off when the meaning of the words sunk in. She pictured Xana tugging at the zipper of her robes and turned bright red. "That's…"

"Hot?" Mission suggested, unhelpfully.

"A pleasant prospect?" the apprentice added with an innocent smile.

The knight pulled her arm free that was still locked in Xana's grip and gave her a pointed look. "You know, if you're truly serious about us becoming a thing, maybe you should stop treating me like an object for you to lust after." Xana's face dropped and she fell silent; Bastila's challenge had clearly hit home. She smiled within, it was time to take back some control and find out just how serious Xana was. "To the docks."

When she pushed past her apprentice the duo followed in strained silence.

* * *

Back at the docks most of the team had already assembled. Juhani and Zaalbar were calmly chatting and when Mission rushed forward to join them, the Cathar greeted her with a faint smile. It surprised Bastila, the hot-tempered knight seemed to be taking well to the chatty Twi'lek and her Wookie friend. It came as some relief to Bastila, at least Juhani wasn't a total outcast.

Carth – who had been checking the _Ebon Hawk'_s hull – approached the two humans when he spotted them. He gave Xana's new robes an appraising look-over. "Nice gear, Grey," he said with a low whistle. "Not standard Jedi equipment, I take it?"

Xana smirked. "Hardly." She seemed rather smug about the attention; Bastila had expected her to call him a lecher, to the very least. To her displeasure she felt a little pang of jealousy, Xana shouldn't be getting any attention from anyone except _her_.

At that moment the final companion made his entry. Canderous Ordo looked just as burly and gruff as the last time Bastila had seen him. His massive repeater was slung over his back as he lazily approached them. The padawan and the Mandalorian acknowledged each other with a nod, but Bastila cut right to the chase. "Tell me, Mister Ordo, why should we trust you to take us on our mission?"

He regarded her for a moment. "Hasn't Grey informed you yet?"

The brunette glanced briefly at her apprentice, but didn't let up. "I'd like to hear it from your mouth."

The Mandalorian shrugged. "If you insist. Our people have been humiliated by those who now call themselves Sith. The clans have been wiped out like ants, calling it pathetic is an understatement. I plan to redeem my people by ending the Sith Empire." He gave the brunette a shrewd glance. "That _is_ what your mission entails, isn't it?"

"You will receive a full briefing aboard the _Ebon Hawk_ later tonight. Suffice to say our mission will indeed be critical in stopping the Sith armada."

That seemed to be enough for Ordo, because he nodded. "Imagine the people notorious for burning the galaxy now saving it from a similar threat. Imagine the glory it would bring us if I aided you in bringing down this tyrant."

"You'd be a fucking hero," Xana chimed in, earning an angry look from Bastila.

"And then what?" she wanted to know. "Your people are known for bloodlust and war. You aided Exar Kun and scourged most of the Outer Rim during the Mandalorian Wars. How am I to know you don't plan on selling us out to Malak when you get the chance?"

"The Sith Empire is a threat to us both. I understand your concern, our less than honorable past has muddled your perception of us Mandalorians. Unfortunately we could discuss this topic for hours and probably not come to a satisfactory conclusion. Let me say I'm not proud of what happened and wish to show the galaxy we're not blood lusting warriors, but merely misunderstood. Will you give me the chance to prove that?"

The brunette folded her arms. "It seems I have no choice in this matter, as Master Vandar wishes you to join. He is our wisest master, so perhaps you're indeed destined for great deeds. Just remember I have my eyes on you."

That elicited a dry chuckle from the burly mercenary as he looked at Juhani, who had been watching him with killer intent pretty much constantly. "That makes two of you. If willingly walking into a Mandalorian deathtrap won't say enough about my good intentions, nothing will."

Xana gave him a wide smirk. "Hey, if a sorry scoundrel such as me is able to survive them, so are you."

Ordo looked between the two women and smirked. "Unfortunately _I_ don't have the body type to appeal to the senior knight." Bastila scowled at him, while Xana shot her a sudden uncertain look. "Sore point, huh? Oh well, don't mind me. I'm going to ease some of the friction with the Cathar, before her eyes burn a hole through my skull." He slouched off in Juhani's direction, who tensed up visibly.

The padawan watched the Cathar with concern. "I better go after him. Wouldn't want to have to bury the first body before we even depart."

While Ordo was speaking with the two other Jedi and Mission was goofing around with Zaalbar, Bastila turned to Carth to discuss her concerns. He was as doubtful about the Mandalorian as she was, so they agreed to keep a close eye on him. It felt good to be able to rely on her best friend again, only now she realized she had missed it sorely. Carth and she were on the same wavelength most of the time, they made a good team.

As they were talking they were suddenly alerted by the sound of clashing lightsabers. When they wheeled around they saw Xana locking her strangely colored lightsaber with Juhani's blue one, standing between her and Ordo to shield him from her weapon. "Get the _fuck_ back." The padawan spoke with raised voice that was dripping with authority.

As Bastila rushed towards them, she saw Juhani's eyes breathing fire at Ordo. She was speaking in swift Catharese, no doubt cursing the Mandalorian. To her credit Xana didn't flinch from the display of anger. "I told you to get the fuck back," she repeated, even fiercer this time.

When Bastila reached the Cathar she planned on grabbing her wrist, but the feline was suddenly yanked away violently from the padawan. It was Zaalbar who was protecting his master; he had grabbed Juhani under the arms and tossed her away with brute force. She landed with a roll and turned swiftly to her assailant, surprise and shock visible on her face. The Wookie stood tall, shielding the padawan. "Don't threaten Xana!" he thundered, taking a step towards the Cathar. Juhani quickly held up her palms, watching the mountain of muscles with genuine concern.

The Wookie went for his bowcaster, forcing Juhani to activate her lightsabers again in defense. That only angered the brute even further, he was clearly taking it the wrong way. Things threatened to escalade beyond control when Xana stepped between them with drawn lightsaber. No doubt she just wanted to protect Zaalbar, but Juhani thought the padawan was attacking _her_. She looked like a wild animal, surrounded and trapped, ready to lash out.

"That's _enough_!" Bastila's ice-cold order wasn't just spoken, it forcefully echoed through the minds of those around. It caught their attention dramatically, making them all stop directly. When the brunette marched between the three with steel in her eyes they all seemed to shrink under her presence. "Put away your weapons, at _once_." They immediately complied, not knowing how fast to pull away their weapons. When they were all disarmed the knight turned to Juhani. "I understand why the Mandalorian's presence bothers you, but that doesn't give you an excuse to lash out at him."

"L-lash out?" Juhani watched her with big eyes. "I didn't attack him! I merely showed him my weapon to make him back off. Xana must've misread my intentions."

"Why did you want him to back off so badly?"

Ordo had joined their group, watching the Cathar with caution, and spoke up. "I tried to explain that my involvement in the destruction of Cathar was merely because I was following orders. I figured she'd understand, considering we come from a similar culture based on a strong hierarchy, but I guess I was wrong."

"Do not compare my people to yours!" Juhani snarled, eyes still burning with anger. "We were content with taking what we needed, nothing more!"

The Mandalorian wanted to counter, but Bastila didn't let him. "This is what you consider 'easing the friction'?"

"I meant no harm." When two sets of eyes regarded him angrily he held up his palms. "Forget it, I get the message. I'll leave Juhani alone until she's ready to move on." With a final wary look at the feline he entered the _Ebon Hawk_ to get settled.

"He's a murderer, Bastila," hissed the Cathar. "We cannot trust him."

"Master Vandar trusts him, and I trust his wisdom."

That had a big effect on Juhani, for she immediately slumped down and hung her head in shame. "I apologize, Knight Shan, I merely wished to express my concern." When her commander gave her a nod in understanding she continued, "I assure you I meant no harm, but if you deem punishment necessary I will accept it."

Bastila knew she had to be both diplomatic and crystal clear right now, as it was her task to build a strong team. She briefly touched the Cathar's arm and looked her in the eyes. "It was a misunderstanding, punishment won't be necessary. But never point your weapon at an ally again, unless he's an immediate threat to the team." The Cathar made a deep bow and thanked the brunette. "I _do_ appreciate it when you speak your mind, so please don't refrain from that in the future. As long as it stays at words…"

"Yes ma'am, I will." Juhani then turned to Zaalbar, who was watching them with big eyes. Mission was patting his arm, but he was clearly distraught. "I didn't mean to harm Xana."

"I didn't mean to hurt you too!" The Wookie sounded almost teary-eyed. "You're a friend, but between Xana and you…"

"I understand, you did what your honor demanded." A look of understanding passed between the two aliens and Zaalbar relaxed somewhat.

It was then that Xana thought it clever to chime in, "This is all so bloody fucking confusing. Was it truly necessary to design your codes of honor like fucking minefields?"

Bastila wanted to curse the rude woman for her awful timing, but she saw Juhani flaring up. Things threatened to escalade again, but at that exact moment Belaya came rushing towards them. "Oh no, oh no, oh no. They told me there was turmoil at the docks. Ju, you didn't…"

The Cathar immediately moved to intercept her lover. "It didn't come to blows," she assured. Belaya saw her killer intent aimed at Xana and led the tall alien away around the ship, no doubt to find a place of privacy to calm her lover.

The brunette placed her forehead in the palm of her hand and had to count to ten. "Xana, is it truly so hard to show at least _some_ respect for her culture?" she finally dared asking through gritted teeth.

"Her culture almost cost me my head." It was an annoyed snarl. "How did you stop us anyway? I felt… strange."

"Battle Meditation. It can show even the greatest fool she's about to slay her comrade." When she saw Xana's offended scowl deepen she quickly added, "_That_ wasn't your fault. I would've intervened as well." Her apprentice relaxed, but still looked ruffled. Bastila took a deep breath, she had to be careful not to lose Xana's support as well; with relations so tense she couldn't afford that to happen. The former marine had described it spot-on by calling it a minefield, she'd have to weigh every word carefully from now on, lest not to offend anyone.

Carth had to add his two cents. "Should've expected this. Inviting politics in a military operation is never a good idea."

Xana scratched her chin thoughtfully. "It's a shame that the hellcat is such a huge asset. Her entire life has revolved around conditioning, if anyone can give Malak a run for his money, it's her."

The brunette gave her apprentice a dark look. "Strange. I've always considered Juhani a decent and honorable woman. Until _you_ came along." Carth must've noticed the tension between them, for he quickly excused himself to make the final preparations to the ship. Mission was still soothing Zaalbar a few yards away, so Bastila was left behind with Xana. "I swear you have the tact of a misfiring ion canon," she said with an exasperated sigh.

Xana folded her arms defensively. "She's hot-tempered and treats me like I'm retarded. I'll show Juhani her respect when she shows me mine."

"And she no doubt thinks the same, nice vicious circle you've got going there. Can't you put your differences aside and at least _try_ to understand her?" When Xana gave her a wronged look she pressed on, "Put yourself in her shoes. She comes from a culture where even _looking_ at a superior in the wrong way can get you severely punished. Then you come along with that grimy cantina speech of yours, ridiculing her entire culture in a single line. What would _you_ do?"

The padawan shrugged. "Laugh it off, say we're both fucked by the system, make a harsh joke about politicians, have a drink together. Life's much easier when you're not whining about every puny little detail."

Bastila rolled her eyes. "Things are _so_ easy in your world. And _I_ get to clean up the mess."

That seemed to come through to Xana, because she suddenly watched the brunette uncomfortably, wearing a guilty expression on her face. "I- I'm not making things easier for you, am I?"

The brunette let out a tiny sigh, her exhaustion was catching up with her. "Everything seems to be breaking down before we even depart. Tension in the group is almost palpable, even without you adding to it."

Xana sighed as well, shaking her head. "Shit, you're right. The two of us need to be the strong backbone on which our team can build. And now look at us, fighting together." She gave Bastila a sincere look and wanted to reach out to her, but somewhere along the way she changed her mind and pulled back, causing a pang of longing in Bastila's stomach. "Sorry about this, I'll try to be more professional next time. For _you_, not for the vicious beast." Bastila gave her a grateful nod, too tired to press the argument any further. At least they were still in this together.

With that out of the way an awkward silence suddenly hung between them. They hadn't really spoken together after Xana had declared her love and Bastila knew she had been acting like a juvenile about it. Part of her wanted to apologize, part of her wanted to fling herself in Xana's arms and kiss her, but the biggest part of her had no idea what to say or how to continue. She silently cursed her inaptitude for social matters.

Instead she looked around to the spot where Belaya and Juhani had gone and clacked her tongue impatiently. "They sure take their time." She then marched after them, planning to grab the feline by the pointy ear and pull her into the ship.

Xana rushed after her. "Wait Bastila, I don't think that's a good…" The two of them stopped dead in their tracks when they had rounded the ship, spotting the other duo in an impossible position. "…idea."

A good sixty feet away from them Juhani was locked in a deep kiss with Belaya. Their bodies were tightly pressed together in an entanglement of limbs, completely oblivious to the rest of the world. Bastila watched them with open mouth, unable to repress the thought how incredibly _right_ they seemed. If there was one Jedi Knight devoted to the light side, it was Juhani. If she could love and be loved in such an utter devoted manner, so could Bastila. Right?

She gave Xana a sideway glance, watching her beautiful face looking back at her. A barrage of thoughts hit her; Carth warning her not to die with regrets, Vandar speaking about the strength to be found in close friendship, Juhani claiming two souls fitted together like one, Mission's constant attempts to bring them together, Xana tenderly declaring her love, assuring her it was very real.

Her eyes were drawn to Xana's full, lush lips, noticing they were moist and slightly parted. They were looking extremely inviting and she impulsively leaned in just a bit. When she realized what she was doing she had half a mind to pull back, but Xana finished the motion by placing her hand between Bastila's shoulder blades and pressing their lips together.

Their kiss was tender, almost chaste, but sent an array of feelings coursing through Bastila's body that were completely new to her. The soft texture coupled with electricity and warmth, but also strength and love. It was exactly what she needed; her insecurity was instantly wiped away, the madness from before was calmed down and the feeling of solitude was crumble by the support she felt from her bondmate.

The Bond flared up and Bastila could almost physically feel it change. It bound them together so tightly they were almost one. Xana's emotions overwhelmed her, Bastila felt both longing and incredible support. That assurance made her relax into Xana, who tightened her hold around the brunette. The anxiousness of last days vanished instantly as she gave in to what she had wanted for so very long.

When they pulled back they both sighed. "I'm sorry Bastila." The brunette was startled by Xana's soft apology, wondering what it was for. "Sorry for making you feel like a piece of meat earlier. I didn't meant it in a bad way, I just love to compliment you because I can't bring myself over the fact how impossibly beautiful you are. But my horrible sense of humor made it come out completely the wrong way."

Bastila smiled softly and tenderly stroked Xana's cheek. "We've got our work cut out for us." When she saw Xana's confused look she continued, "Trying to finish the star map while preventing our team from killing each other. I'm glad I don't have to do it alone." She caught Xana's gaze. "I'm glad you're here with me."

The sincerity of her words made Xana swallow and avert her eyes. "No one ever said that to me."

The sad whisper was so full of desolation that it nearly broke Bastila as well. She embraced the woman she loved. "I mean it," she softly murmured in Xana's ear. "You're not alone anymore."

"Good to know," Xana whispered hoarsely. They looked the other in the eye, until Bastila leaned in for another soft kiss, wanting to experience the beautiful sensation once again.

A cough startled them and they quickly separated, wheeling around to see who made the noise. They had been so engrossed in each other that they hadn't heard Belaya and Juhani approaching. The human was beaming at them, while the Cathar regarded them with a satisfied expression. Bastila blushed self-consciously, but Xana greeted them openly with a grin. Belaya went as far to congratulate them – which Bastila didn't quite know how to respond to – after which she said their final goodbye to the three of them by giving them a firm hug, even Bastila.

After kissing Juhani one last time she returned to the enclave, while the three other Jedi returned to the _Ebon Hawk_'s entrance, where Mission, Zaalbar and Carth were waiting for them. Zaalbar had calmed down and Mission seemed almost giddy, smiling broadly at Xana. "You just had to take it one step further, hadn't you?" For a moment Bastila feared she might've seen the kiss as well, but when the girl elaborated she could relax again. "A _pink_ lightsaber? Honestly?"

The padawan smirked. "It's _violet_, you colorblind imp."

"Riiight. It's you being an even more massive dyke than you already are."

"It's not one of the standard colors, is it?" Carth asked curiously.

The padawan gave him a feigned look of offense. "Do I look like a standard Jedi to you?"

He looked her tight robes over and grinned. "Definitely not. So… any deeper meaning?"

"Violet is the perfect blend of Sith red and Jedi blue. I don't pick sides, I merely do what I reckon is best."

His face fell. "I've heard that before," he said, sounding like his old, suspicious self. "Revan claimed she followed a similar path. If I recall correctly she called it a 'Grey Jedi'."

Mission snorted. "More like a _gay_ Jedi."

Xana laughed at that and pinched the girl's cheek. "Don't get snotty with me, little missy. You might mean well, but your slang could seriously offend people." The Twi'lek pulled free and stuck out her tongue, earning a chuckle from Xana.

Carth didn't find it any funny though. "Look, we all know what happened to Revan and her so-called grey path. Is it truly…"

"Carth, _please_," interrupted a tired looking Bastila. "By questioning Xana you're questioning me as her master." That shut him up effectively, though he still looked wary. Bastila sighed. "Let's just go."

She ushered her team inside the _Ebon Hawk_. Mission and Zaalbar happily entered the ship, with Carth coming right after them, shaking his head grumpily. Juhani gave the padawan one last hard stare before going in as well, reminding them Xana's earlier insult had not been forgotten.

Bastila watched the gangway with trepidation. Of all the battlefields she had ever entered, the _Ebon Hawk_ was certainly the worst one. Everyone seemed to have a problem with everyone, making her task seem much more daunting. She had half a mind of returning to the enclave to tell them they had to send experienced master instead of her, until she felt soft fingers intertwine with hers and squeezing gently. When she looked around she saw Xana smiling softly at her. She returned the smile, feeling heartened by the sign of affection. At least she wasn't alone in this.

They entered the ship together.

* * *

The _Leviathan_ was drifting purposefully through space, its path littered with pain and destruction. On the bridge an impatient Lord Malak was pacing around. He was more than fed up with the Republic and blasted Jedi giving him more resistance than they had anticipated. The Star Forge's legions should've stampeded those pathetic worms, yet the actual results were far bleaker. "How long until we establish full control of the Outer Rim?"

Advisor Haroph wiped a bead of sweat from his massive forehead. His obese body was trembling, he knew his Lord's moods and the current one was dangerous. "Milord, full control is something we cannot hope to achieve anytime soon. We must patiently build our backbone before attempting to…"

"I do not have patience!" Malak roared, pointing his red lightsaber at the bloated human. Haroph paled and took a step backward. "The Rims should be bowing before me in fear _yesterday_!"

"Milord, please. The war is going more than well. Our propaganda machine is working better than expected; each day more and more soldiers, politicians and Jedi join our ranks voluntarily. In combination with those turned by other means our war machine is growing steadily."

"It's not enough."

The duo was interrupted by an extremely nervous looking lieutenant. "Milord, you have an incoming transmission. _Exchange_ wishes to have a word with you."

The bald Sith Lord's eyes burned with anger as he turned to his filthy subordinate. To vent his anger he molded the dark side of the Force around his neck and suspended him in the air. The lieutenant clasped his throat in panic and desperately gagged for air, but the Dark Lord did not relent, watching coldly as life seeped out of him. Only when the lifeless body hung still in the air did Malak lower his arm, making the body drop unceremoniously drop to the floor. "Put him through. And let someone clean up this trash."

As a group of soldiers rushed forward to take away the corpse, a holographic image appeared on the transmitter unit. It was no more than a polluted image of… something, filled with static and noise. "Lord Malak," the figure greeted in a digital voice. It was impossible to guess the gender or race of the creature, or if it was even a real being to begin with. All Malak knew was that it was called _Exchange_ and that it was one of the bosses, if not _the_ boss, of The Exchange.

"Exchange," he snarled. "I hope you realize you're interrupting an important meeting."

"Does it perhaps concern the strong diminishing effects of Taris' destruction on your war machine? For it is certainly on my mind, Lord Malak, as it has strongly affected _my_ organization, and not in a good way."

"Did you call to give me a lecture, Exchange?"

"Need I remind you I once started this clandestine liaison with Lord Revan for it to be beneficial to both our parties? Tell me, Lord Malak, what exactly do you reckon is the benefit of reducing one of my biggest crime hubs and most important trade routes to a cloud of ash?"

"Don't mention the name of that Republic loving whore! You can call me back when you've gained some respect for your overlord. Disconnect."

The holographic image vanished instantly, making the advisor gasp for air. "M-Milord, you just disconnected Exchange! What if they decide to sever our ties? That would be catastrophic!"

Malak laughed darkly. "Let them try. They're nothing without our power."

"Milord, need I remind you the Exchange is among the wealthiest organization of the galaxy? Not only do they own every type of crime, they also have shares in virtually every company that matters on galactic level and have a strong political foothold on many planets. Roughly twenty percent of the governments we own could be turned against us by the Exchange with very little effort. A single command from _Exchange_ could send the entire Sith Empire in severe disarray. Keeping him our friend would be a wise course of action."

"The power of the Star Forge will blast him and his pathetic blackmail practices to bloody bits."

"Milord, not every enemy can be fought with raw firepower. The Exchange's power lies in information, secrecy, extortion, corruption… They're like weeds, you can burn away the visible leaves, but if you don't take out the roots they'll sprout in even greater numbers. And I'm afraid their roots are well hidden."

The Dark Lord rushed forward and grabbed the fat human by the throat. "We were discussing your inability to give me the Outer Rim within an acceptable timeframe, before your little crime friend interrupted. If I recall correctly you haven't given me an acceptable answer yet."

Haroph swallowed hard, his opulent moustache twitching nervously. Malak was going stark raving mad and there was no way of escaping his clutches.

* * *

Many light-years away another vessel coasted through the vast expanse of space.

The _Desolation_ possessed a magnificence matched by only few other ships. The Exchange had made no compromises; no expenses had been spared to integrate the most advanced technology in this vessel. It was built for stealth, it could lazily drift through the bulk of the Sith or Republic fleet unnoticed, should someone bother to try. It was currently parked in orbit around Nar Shaddaa, where it served as the base of operations for the Si'Klaata Cluster.

Two Twi'lek women were making their way through the Exchange vessel. They were monozygotic twins, the striking creatures were carbon copies of each other. They possessed a breathtaking beauty that could melt even the coldest of hearts. Their skin was of the softest of grey and had a natural healthy flush. Their beautiful feminine curves were scantily clad in black leather, giving a grand view of their well-endowed décolleté and toned abdomen, shoulders and arms.

They were well aware of their beauty and exploited it to the fullest. However innocent their cute little faces might appear, these trained and ruthless mercenaries were far from it. The Twin Suns wielded seduction like a weapon only few were able to resist.

Filled with thrilled anticipation the twins stepped into the ship's quarantined communications center. They had been summoned by someone from the upper echelons, meaning this could very well be the chance to prove themselves and climb in rank. The Exchange was known to reward their higher officers well, so making mistakes now was out of the question.

A number of cameras observed the twins as they stood and waited. After several minutes a digital voice greeted them through the intercom. "Seer'aa, Teer'aa, welcome. The Exchange requires your… _special_ set of skills for an important job." The emphasis on the word 'special' made the twins smile sweetly at each other, this contract could be fun.

A projector lit up, showing the figure of a handsome human woman. Her appearance was exotic, with a skin tone that was slightly darker than that of the average human and shoulder long, pitch black hair with a slight curl. Her features were sharp and striking, her stance straight and poised, radiating an authority that betrayed a no-bullshit attitude.

The sisters giggled. "She's pretty."

"Do we get to play with her, Mister Robovoice?" They were soft-spoken, with a playful edge to their sweet, pleasant voices that sent the blood rushing to your face.

"Oh, most certainly. The Exchange's philosophy revolves around playing our operatives' strengths and our objectives' weaknesses. In fact, she might not even mind the mission I have for you, considering her… sexual preferences." The twin's innocent little smiles widened. Being paid to frolic with their very own gorgeous plaything, jobs didn't get much better than that. "Now listen carefully," the hologram continued. "This is what you're going to do…"

* * *

**End of Book Two**

* * *

**A/N:** _Hey everyone, little heads-up. I've done some long overdue revisions to earlier chapters. Especially the Taris arc had some quirky stuff, as I didn't have a beta reader at the time and wanted to release a chapter at least once a week… yeah. I promise I'll focus on quality rather than quantity from now on. (I'd blame the decline of the quality of Dutch education, but that would be cheap.)_

_So, revisions. No major stuff, just clearing up most spelling and grammar errors. I hope I've got them all this time. I've also removed some weird out of character statements and improved the overall flow of the story. There's no need to reread everything, but now you know it's there. (And you can't blame the delay of this chapter on me being a sloth, ha!)_

_Some people complained that Xana was too submissive to Bastila at certain points. You'll find the explanation for her subservience at the beginning of the chapter (it's one of the things I chose to alter because it makes more sense to me this way), but after rereading the entire story I agree that at some points it was simply too pronounced. I made some subtle changes to fix that. Again, nothing major, but hopefully an improvement nonetheless. Xana isn't a pussy after all, please don't think of her that way, she'd flail my mind._

_This concludes things for the Dantooine arc. Next chapter we'll have another flashback in Revan's past. I thank you all for the continued support and constructive criticism and hopefully till next arc!_


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